Yeah, I've been back from CA for nearly two weeks, now, and am just getting around to this. Life is strange at 80. I'd tell you to avoid it if possible, but you'd never remember my advice
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It's up there now. I actually had it ready on April 29th, but David had changed the server name, and at least one of the parameters besides, without ever letting me know . . . and then when I tried to reach him he vanished to Chicago, where his email connection stopped working until this morning. This is a beautiful example of what I meant by "odd kinds of hangups in the way things are happening."
And as to my screed on friends, I'm sure you noted that you were the only one who gave me any return comment! I wonder if it's my recent emphasis on becoming 80 . . . Maybe I've pushed my friendship-value too far? Or if it's just more of the same "odd kinds of hangups."
I really enjoyed this post, but the LJ gremlins ate my lengthy reply when I hit "comment." :(
I agree that there is a lot of confusion about internet "friends." I know many people - myself sometimes included - who are very confused about what is expected of them, and what they should expect from their online "friends." I wish they'd call them "contacts" or something else instead. "Friend" is a bit misleading, in my opinion.
I hope I have half as many friends as you do by the time I'm half as old as you. ;) Seriously, I can't imagine having 30 people who'd put me up at a moment's notice. I can think of maybe five, and most of them are family members, and I'm not even 100% sure about all of THEM. ;) haha
Anyway, great post. I enjoyed reading it very much.
Thank you very much. Interestingly, both of your responses actually reached me by email, even though only this second one is here.
It's good to get the affirmation. And in a way, the lack of much response at all also affirms it. I really shouldn't get into that scolding mode. But it arises from frustration. Although from what I've observed of your own postings, they seem to have a pretty good response pattern and they don't register (to me, anyway) the kind of 'social uncertainty' that underlies my complaint.
As to my view about what constitutes 'real friendship' it owes its origin entirely to that vanished hippy culture that is so often derogated today. I have observed what seems to be a generational thing, a kind of 'icon-bashing' that hits out at whatever was socially current in those days: feminism, integration, new-ageism, and much else from that period. Yet, people are driving themselves into the ground, today, with their pursuit of what so many of us disdained: the so-called American Dream. Community was paramount in those
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On a personal level (concerning LJ), I have one LJ "friend" who gets upset if I don't comment to each and every post she makes, and is constantly asking me why I don't talk to her anymore. I'm not ignoring her at all - I just don't feel compelled to comment to every post she makes, and I don't go around counting my friends list every morning to see who's unfriended me or whatever. I've never met her, and don't mind when she doesn't comment to personal posts of mine, but it feels like a double standard. I don't like to feel like I HAVE to ALWAYS comment to someone's LJ for fear they'll be upset if I don't
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Living without a car is not for everyone, but mainly because most have organized their lives around having a car. Accordingly, it requires some specific organizing to live easily without one. There are now organizations that make it easier to do so. Seattle has one called Flexcar that makes it possible to just use a handy car for particular or exceptional instances.
Yes, I used to walk much more than I do now. It's a great habit to get into, and enjoyable as well as a good prompt for doing a lot of 'out-and-about thinking,' because your mind does not have to be engaged or interrupted by anything else.
It isn't so much that I'm such a social person, for I usually keep to myself when I am out and about unless someone speaks to me first; but I've done a lot of thinking about what is worthwhile in life, and while creativity ranks perhaps at the top, the next below it is friendship, which I see as a counterweight to the alienation implied by our existential solitude. I mean, when I once realized how terribly alone each of us is, after
( ... )
I find I'm not much o a social person either. With me I dont really make friends easily... I make aquaintances, i guess. But that is because I see friendship as something deep, meaningful and even spiritual, so that the few friends I do have are true friends.
I too went through a stage that was not conducive for real friendships. I was very wary of people and that is because of the sort of circles I traveled in. Since I have changed from that sort of person, I am finding that my 'aquaintances' are closer to being friends than before when I was into a life of hard partying.
You say you live in Seattle. I hear it rains there a lot and is lush and green. Is this true. I love the rain. I love that fresh smell that comes from the trees and the land when it has been raining.
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It's up there now. I actually had it ready on April 29th, but David had changed the server name, and at least one of the parameters besides, without ever letting me know . . . and then when I tried to reach him he vanished to Chicago, where his email connection stopped working until this morning. This is a beautiful example of what I meant by "odd kinds of hangups in the way things are happening."
And as to my screed on friends, I'm sure you noted that you were the only one who gave me any return comment! I wonder if it's my recent emphasis on becoming 80 . . . Maybe I've pushed my friendship-value too far? Or if it's just more of the same "odd kinds of hangups."
Reply
I agree that there is a lot of confusion about internet "friends." I know many people - myself sometimes included - who are very confused about what is expected of them, and what they should expect from their online "friends." I wish they'd call them "contacts" or something else instead. "Friend" is a bit misleading, in my opinion.
I hope I have half as many friends as you do by the time I'm half as old as you. ;) Seriously, I can't imagine having 30 people who'd put me up at a moment's notice. I can think of maybe five, and most of them are family members, and I'm not even 100% sure about all of THEM. ;) haha
Anyway, great post. I enjoyed reading it very much.
Reply
It's good to get the affirmation. And in a way, the lack of much response at all also affirms it. I really shouldn't get into that scolding mode. But it arises from frustration. Although from what I've observed of your own postings, they seem to have a pretty good response pattern and they don't register (to me, anyway) the kind of 'social uncertainty' that underlies my complaint.
As to my view about what constitutes 'real friendship' it owes its origin entirely to that vanished hippy culture that is so often derogated today. I have observed what seems to be a generational thing, a kind of 'icon-bashing' that hits out at whatever was socially current in those days: feminism, integration, new-ageism, and much else from that period. Yet, people are driving themselves into the ground, today, with their pursuit of what so many of us disdained: the so-called American Dream. Community was paramount in those ( ... )
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Yes, I used to walk much more than I do now. It's a great habit to get into, and enjoyable as well as a good prompt for doing a lot of 'out-and-about thinking,' because your mind does not have to be engaged or interrupted by anything else.
It isn't so much that I'm such a social person, for I usually keep to myself when I am out and about unless someone speaks to me first; but I've done a lot of thinking about what is worthwhile in life, and while creativity ranks perhaps at the top, the next below it is friendship, which I see as a counterweight to the alienation implied by our existential solitude. I mean, when I once realized how terribly alone each of us is, after ( ... )
Reply
I too went through a stage that was not conducive for real friendships. I was very wary of people and that is because of the sort of circles I traveled in. Since I have changed from that sort of person, I am finding that my 'aquaintances' are closer to being friends than before when I was into a life of hard partying.
You say you live in Seattle. I hear it rains there a lot and is lush and green. Is this true. I love the rain. I love that fresh smell that comes from the trees and the land when it has been raining.
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