Two Hands, huh?
There's this bar that me and James go to in Tustin. It's called the Newport 5, and it's a pretty shitty place. But it's our shitty little place. Anyhow.
We go in at least once a week, sometimes more, to play pool.
We were in there a couple of weeks ago with Erin and Tara, who came out from Riverside. I live like 5 miles away so I got there pretty early, before everyone else. I was playing a game with my buddy Oscar, a bar-back there, when I noticed some lady was standing at the bar, directly in front of my drink. Anyhow, I went over and said, "Excuse me, I'm just gonna grab this..." and she turned around and got all close to my face and with a giant smile she said, very drunkenly, "Ooohhh, I've never seen you here before. My name is Shelley, what's your name?"
Shelley was old. Shelley was an old, whoreish looking woman. Very much not a cougar. I guess the best way to describe her would be to say that she looked all used up. She was wearing this very low cut top and had this head band on. You could tell she was out looking for dick.
Anyhow, not to be rude, I responded while slowly backing away:
"I'm Zuhair," said I.
"Two Hands, huh? That's an interesting name."
"Oh no, it's Zuhair."
"I'm sorry man, so it's Two Hands, yeah?"
"You're getting closer, it's actually Zuhair."
"Ok, so it's Two Hands, right?"
"You got it!"
She went on to say something about how I should shave my beard because she could tell that "there is a handsome face in there somewhere." Well, if I ever needed another reason to keep my beard on forever, there it is.
We go in at least once a week, sometimes more, to play pool.
We were in there a couple of weeks ago with Erin and Tara, who came out from Riverside. I live like 5 miles away so I got there pretty early, before everyone else. I was playing a game with my buddy Oscar, a bar-back there, when I noticed some lady was standing at the bar, directly in front of my drink. Anyhow, I went over and said, "Excuse me, I'm just gonna grab this..." and she turned around and got all close to my face and with a giant smile she said, very drunkenly, "Ooohhh, I've never seen you here before. My name is Shelley, what's your name?"
Shelley was old. Shelley was an old, whoreish looking woman. Very much not a cougar. I guess the best way to describe her would be to say that she looked all used up. She was wearing this very low cut top and had this head band on. You could tell she was out looking for dick.
Anyhow, not to be rude, I responded while slowly backing away:
"I'm Zuhair," said I.
"Two Hands, huh? That's an interesting name."
"Oh no, it's Zuhair."
"I'm sorry man, so it's Two Hands, yeah?"
"You're getting closer, it's actually Zuhair."
"Ok, so it's Two Hands, right?"
"You got it!"
She went on to say something about how I should shave my beard because she could tell that "there is a handsome face in there somewhere." Well, if I ever needed another reason to keep my beard on forever, there it is.