Mother Guilt or Another First

[olisko]

We still haven't brought ourselves to do a date night. To tell you the truth, we haven't even been to a restaurant together with koliko since this funny incident when he was a mere six months old

Comments

[ex_yzzzma459]

sounds like a well deserved break :)

[bagira]

Why can't you leave him to have a "date" night? Why are you so dismissive of your pleasure? ISn't it important for you to be happy and fulfilled--in all regards--so that he has a happy Mom?

[olisko]

Not sure how to answer best. It's just the way I am, Tan'. It's what I believe - strong attachment between me and my son. I already battle going to work daily (okay, three days a week-) - I will have guilt over it for the rest of my life. It's how I am. And I am by no means unhappy. I guess that's what matters :)

[ex_yzzzma459]

oh, give yourself a break. you are leaving him with his grandmother not some nanny. he is building a relationship with a relative - it's good for him.

i wish George had a relationship like that with someone who lives less than a couple of hundred miles away. i would like to go out for a date night, and let me tell you, I won't be feeling guilty for one single moment.

last time when I was out with girlfriends I didn't even call home to see how everyone is doing since I knew they are probably driving James crazy. мать/жена ехидна >:)

[olisko]

one significant difference between us: you stay at home, I work. koliko already has a great relationship with his grandma thanks to me leaving him at 16 weeks to go work full-time. No worries there.

[ellen_]

We haven't had a "date night" with just the two of us yet. We just had a dinner at home on Wed. with the two of us at the table. It felt weird. The kids were taking a late nap.

We did a "date lunch" about 4 times when L. was at the daycare. We haven't been outside of the house together childless since A. was born. I don't miss time alone with M. I miss my time alone. And time with friends and no children around. But I don't miss it enough to do anything about it ;)

[olisko]

That's actually what I suggested to Lioshka - to play hooky and go to the museum during work hours. I knew I would feel no guilt then whatsoever. Go figure. Some strong work ethic I have.

Strangely, I don't feel deprived of me-time. Actually, I never felt deprived of quality time with Lioshka either until Saturday. It was just such a different feeling to be alone, not waiting for Kolya to wake up or cry, or this or that. And to be out. It was completely different than our time alone at home.

[ellen_]

I got plenty of *me* and internet time at work :) I really miss the internet. And co-workers. But that's a whole 'nother story.

I lied about no date nights. We did go out when M. dad was here (I didn't enjoy that one much) and then when my mom was here a year later while Lydia slept. But I enjoyed getting out to see Jerry Seinfeld with Val much more than any of our "date nights". Not to mention my reunion weekend...

Anyway. People are looking over my shoulder, can't type anymore.

And YES, SHOES FIT!!!! Thank you!

[olisko]

cool!

[babushonok]

well...I crave our moments alone...we've had trips without kids and some dates as well, not since Timoshka was born though... I feel absolutely noooooooooooooo guilt at leaving the kiddos...I do miss them, but our times alone refresh our relationship and feel so naughty...like we're playing hooky from our daily lives :-)

[olisko]

good for you :) for me, guilt is the over-riding feeling.

[jinni_x]

We have a babysitter that comes after Blaise is in bed (around 8:20 PM). She gets paid to watch TV or study and we get to go out.