Cohousing update
We just got back from breakfast and a tour of the property with the cohousing group which prompted me to think about things and so I'm writing a full report.
I am again struck by how much I like people in this group. I have quickly become friends with Valerie and Richard who are at a totally different phase in their lives (their youngest daugher is in high school.) Valerie, especially, is just one of those people that I connected with and could become great friends with. We had a discussion today about breastfeeding (I guess it has been on my mind a lot lately). She breastfed her son until the age of four because that seemed the most natural to them. She is in the health field- a psychologist nurse so we had a chance to "talk shop" as well.
There were TONS of people happy and excited to play with Caleb and we really hit it off with another family from the area. The father in that family is a math/science teacher like Andy and the mother is very cool. I don't remember what she is doing right now. They have two children- 2 yo and a little less than 1 yo.
We got a chance to see the blueprint and have it explained which was better than looking at it on the computer. They are trying to keep as many of the old trees as possible, but some of them are unhealthy and directly in the way, so they will be removed (mostly maples which grow pretty quick anyway). The design looks like a utopia- exactly how I would plan it if I had done it. The "music room" on the blueprint is actually a guest room, but they don't qualify for guest room status through the city. It looked to me like a lot of parking spaces for the number of residents, but that is the minimum the city would allow even after the cohousing group negotiated down. I am sure that a temporary shelter or garbage cans or something could go in any unused parking spaces so that would be okay. They are keeping a large area to be "natural" and are committed to making as small a footprint as possible. There will be some "grass areas," but the idea is to have as much native vegetation as possible. Most of the area is currently run over by weeds, but one later project is to restore it to its native vegetation. All in all, the plans look great.
I didn't have a chance in my last post to describe the community's decision making policies and procedures. At every meeting there is stack of cards that every adult gets and each card represents a different vote or a different comment/question during the discussion period. To paraphrase the sentiments, since I can't remember exactly.. one card says, "I have read and understood all the facts related to this topic and agree." Another says, "I have a concern or I have not read all the material, but it is okay." One card says, "I have a question about this topic." One card says "I need to halt this vote because I am not comfortable with it." And I'm sure there was one more, but I can't remember what it said. Anyway, I liked that there were shades of gray. Not "yes" or "no," but levels of agreement and disagreement. If there are any red cards than the group stops the voting process and backs up a little bit. I only saw two votes take place and they were rather minor things that were both unanimous, although there were some "blue" cards instead of all "greens." (Some people hadn't read the whole material but were fine with it.)
They have other cards to be used during the discussion- pink for "good job," blue for "I have a question" green for "I have an answer" and so on. I also liked that these cards were not ALWAYS used- it was clear that there was some fudge and comments were possible without the formality of the cards at all times.
During the meeting a rather difficult discussion came up and I was also interested to see how this was handled. The discussion was about money and the pricing of the units. It seems that when the initial prices were set there was a flaw with the model and when the financing committee revisited the topic it seemed that the smaller units were priced too high and the bigger units were priced too low. Now, these prices have always been negotiable, because the contractor has not settled on a final price, but it was sort of assumed that any increase in price would affect all units equally. No decision was being made at this meeting- it was simply an informative presentation, but it still caused some members to be a little upset- especially those slotted to live in larger units. Instead of ignoring the feelings of these or asking them to think logically, the moderator asked each of us in a circle if we would like to share any comments or feelings. Even the two members who were there by teleconference had a chance to share their opinion. And Andy and I were asked if we had anything to share- we passed and let the comments continue around the circle because we didn't have anything to say. Then a "sharing circle" was quickly scheduled for the next Friday for people to come and explore their feelings more. I know it sounds a little touchy-feely, but it was actually handled quite well and I appreciated that everyone got a chance to speak, not just those most involved or loudest. At the end of the meeting, the group was also asked if there was a way that this situation could have been handled better so that future presentors and moderators could learn from mistakes. It was really nice to see.
Today I had a chance to talk to one member of the group who was most affected by this situation as he is in a 4 bedroom unit. He said that the sharing circle had really helped. That it was a way to share those feelings so that they could be set aside and a decision made more rationally and less emotionally. He said they had a similar sharing circle when the community tackled the issue of guns in the community. (I asked about guns, because I remember it being a hard topic in early discussions of community.)
Well, I'm sure there is more, but that will have to be enough for now. I welcome any questions.
I am again struck by how much I like people in this group. I have quickly become friends with Valerie and Richard who are at a totally different phase in their lives (their youngest daugher is in high school.) Valerie, especially, is just one of those people that I connected with and could become great friends with. We had a discussion today about breastfeeding (I guess it has been on my mind a lot lately). She breastfed her son until the age of four because that seemed the most natural to them. She is in the health field- a psychologist nurse so we had a chance to "talk shop" as well.
There were TONS of people happy and excited to play with Caleb and we really hit it off with another family from the area. The father in that family is a math/science teacher like Andy and the mother is very cool. I don't remember what she is doing right now. They have two children- 2 yo and a little less than 1 yo.
We got a chance to see the blueprint and have it explained which was better than looking at it on the computer. They are trying to keep as many of the old trees as possible, but some of them are unhealthy and directly in the way, so they will be removed (mostly maples which grow pretty quick anyway). The design looks like a utopia- exactly how I would plan it if I had done it. The "music room" on the blueprint is actually a guest room, but they don't qualify for guest room status through the city. It looked to me like a lot of parking spaces for the number of residents, but that is the minimum the city would allow even after the cohousing group negotiated down. I am sure that a temporary shelter or garbage cans or something could go in any unused parking spaces so that would be okay. They are keeping a large area to be "natural" and are committed to making as small a footprint as possible. There will be some "grass areas," but the idea is to have as much native vegetation as possible. Most of the area is currently run over by weeds, but one later project is to restore it to its native vegetation. All in all, the plans look great.
I didn't have a chance in my last post to describe the community's decision making policies and procedures. At every meeting there is stack of cards that every adult gets and each card represents a different vote or a different comment/question during the discussion period. To paraphrase the sentiments, since I can't remember exactly.. one card says, "I have read and understood all the facts related to this topic and agree." Another says, "I have a concern or I have not read all the material, but it is okay." One card says, "I have a question about this topic." One card says "I need to halt this vote because I am not comfortable with it." And I'm sure there was one more, but I can't remember what it said. Anyway, I liked that there were shades of gray. Not "yes" or "no," but levels of agreement and disagreement. If there are any red cards than the group stops the voting process and backs up a little bit. I only saw two votes take place and they were rather minor things that were both unanimous, although there were some "blue" cards instead of all "greens." (Some people hadn't read the whole material but were fine with it.)
They have other cards to be used during the discussion- pink for "good job," blue for "I have a question" green for "I have an answer" and so on. I also liked that these cards were not ALWAYS used- it was clear that there was some fudge and comments were possible without the formality of the cards at all times.
During the meeting a rather difficult discussion came up and I was also interested to see how this was handled. The discussion was about money and the pricing of the units. It seems that when the initial prices were set there was a flaw with the model and when the financing committee revisited the topic it seemed that the smaller units were priced too high and the bigger units were priced too low. Now, these prices have always been negotiable, because the contractor has not settled on a final price, but it was sort of assumed that any increase in price would affect all units equally. No decision was being made at this meeting- it was simply an informative presentation, but it still caused some members to be a little upset- especially those slotted to live in larger units. Instead of ignoring the feelings of these or asking them to think logically, the moderator asked each of us in a circle if we would like to share any comments or feelings. Even the two members who were there by teleconference had a chance to share their opinion. And Andy and I were asked if we had anything to share- we passed and let the comments continue around the circle because we didn't have anything to say. Then a "sharing circle" was quickly scheduled for the next Friday for people to come and explore their feelings more. I know it sounds a little touchy-feely, but it was actually handled quite well and I appreciated that everyone got a chance to speak, not just those most involved or loudest. At the end of the meeting, the group was also asked if there was a way that this situation could have been handled better so that future presentors and moderators could learn from mistakes. It was really nice to see.
Today I had a chance to talk to one member of the group who was most affected by this situation as he is in a 4 bedroom unit. He said that the sharing circle had really helped. That it was a way to share those feelings so that they could be set aside and a decision made more rationally and less emotionally. He said they had a similar sharing circle when the community tackled the issue of guns in the community. (I asked about guns, because I remember it being a hard topic in early discussions of community.)
Well, I'm sure there is more, but that will have to be enough for now. I welcome any questions.