6/20/06 // IC!Alfons and T!Ed
Who: IC!Alfons and T!Ed
When: 6/20/06
Rating: PG, some language
Category: Misc. Pairings
Summary: Oh my god they never stop being emo, even when they're supposed to stop. WHHYYYYY???
IC!Alfons: ::walks into the kitchen with a sigh and looks at Ed a little sadly before heading to the refridgerator to get some tea:: Do you want anything to drink..?
T!Ed: *looks at him from his spot on the floor and glares sullenly, whimpering pathetically*
IC!Alfons: ::frowns sadly and sits down near him:: Edward, I want to release you, I really do. I just think it is more important to help other people if you are going to try and kill them...
T!Ed: Just go away... *scoots away from him as best he can, wincing at the pain in his ankle*
IC!Alfons: ::sighs, then shakes his head a little:: You still need to have your ankle treated. Would you let me, bitte?
T!Ed: No! *snaps at him with a growl* I'll get out of here myself and fix it then, you'll see...
IC!Alfons: ::flinches:: Sorry...
T!Ed: *snorts and looks away from him, resting his forehead on one of the cabinets*
IC!Alfons: ::sits with his back to the wall again and opens his bottle of tea, looking away from him as well:: I wish you would let me help you...
T!Ed: You've done enough. Binding me to the counter and injuring my ankle? Fan-fucking-tastic... *laughs madly*
IC!Alfons: ::hangs his head with a sinking feeling in his stomach, eyes closed:: I did not mean to... I really did not mean for you to get hurt, and I want to make it better...
T!Ed: Then let me go..~?
IC!Alfons: I would gladly let you go if I knew you were not going to kill anyone...
T!Ed: Oh, I won't. Promise~
IC!Alfons: ::shudders a little:: I do not trust you though...
T!Ed: *cocks his head to the side, peering at him from around his arm* You and the rest of the world.
IC!Alfons: ::sets the bottle of tea down without drinking any and fixes his eyes on the kitchen floor, arms around his knees:: I want to trust you, Edward. I feel like I should, and I feel terrible that I do not...
T!Ed: Kind of too bad isn't it? *snorts* I'm used to it, though. No one trusts me. Should be something that I expect now, even from you. *shifts slightly in his spot, trying to get more comfortable, and cries out a little in pain*
IC!Alfons: ::looks over at him with concern, frowning sadly, then focuses on the floor again:: I am so sorry... You deserve better than me...
T!Ed: You're not sorry, so I don't want to hear it... *bites his lip, eyes closed tightly*
IC!Alfons: No, I am very sorry. I feel awful. I just want to hold you and comfort you and help you, but you will not let me, and I know it is my fault. Never mind that I do not trust you; you clearly have no reason to trust me.
T!Ed: Like I have reason to trust anyone? I'll I get is kicked around and used, so there's no fucking point in it. I can't even help myself because, la-di-da, I just go along with it because of whatever the hell is going on in my head or whatever.
IC!Alfons: If it makes you feel better, I have never used you in any way like that. I have never thought of you in that sort of way. I love you and I really do want you to have a better life than the one you have been given so far. You deserve so much better.
T!Ed: Doesn't matter what you want for me because it's not going to change anytime soon, now is it?
IC!Alfons: It can, Edward. If that medicine works, you will be finally free of these sorts of harmful thoughts... You will not see things that are not there, and you will be happy without having to kill anyone...
T!Ed: Oh, yeah right. Maybe I'll have another breakdown before then. Maybe I'll kill myself before it can actually work..~
IC!Alfons: Gott, I hope not. I could not bear to lose you...
T!Ed: Oh, dear. *puts on his best mourning look* Darling, precious Edward did himself in... Oh well~ *sneers*
IC!Alfons: ::sighs and rests his chin on his knees, closing his eyes::
T!Ed: *glares at him for a while before resting his forehead against the cabinet door again, then giggles to himself and hits his head against the cabinet*
IC!Alfons: ::winces a little and looks over at him, worried::
T!Ed: *glances at Alfons quickly before hitting his head again, harder this time*
IC!Alfons: Edward- ::quickly gets up and walks over to him, then tries to hold onto him and keep him from hitting his head again::
T!Ed: *snarls and strains his head against his hands* Let me go!
IC!Alfons: No! Stop trying to knock yourself out! ::ducks under one of his arms to place himself between him and the cabinets::
T!Ed: If I want to, I can~ *smiles pleasantly at him*
IC!Alfons: ::frowns and shakes his head a little:: Why do you want to do that, though?
T!Ed: ...To get away from you~
IC!Alfons: ::looks away a little:: Do you hate me that much, really?
T!Ed: When you tie me up and hurt me, yes.
IC!Alfons: If I let you go, will you stay here and not kill anyone?
T!Ed: Maybe, maybe not~ Depends on how I feel. *grins*
IC!Alfons: ::blinks slowly, thinking, then sighs and loops his arms around Ed's waist and closes his eyes:: I want to let you go... I do not want you stuck here like this...
T!Ed: *pulls away from his slightly, not able to get very far* Then let me go.
IC!Alfons: ::looks into his eyes:: I will if you promise to stay here in the apartment and calm down.
T!Ed: *looks back at him squarly* No.
IC!Alfons: ::shrugs, raising an eyebrow:: Then you will stay here until I know you are done feeling homicidal. Honestly, you know how I feel about this. If I can save the lives of a few innocent people, I will do it.
T!Ed: Then get out of my way. Maybe I can spatter my brains all over the cabinets if I hit my head hard enough~
IC!Alfons: I am not going to let you kill yourself, either.
T!Ed: Then what do you want me to do? Sit here and rot?
IC!Alfons: No, I want you to realize that killing people is not going to do you any good.
T!Ed: Fine. *sighs heavily and gives him the puppy eyes* I won't kill anyone.
IC!Alfons: ...Promise? ::is skeptical::
T!Ed: *snerks* Yes.
IC!Alfons: You realize, of course, that if you go sprinting off the instant I let you go, I will stop at nothing to prevent you from running out the door, ja?
T!Ed: I wouldn't expect anything less~
IC!Alfons: ::frowns, then looks away:: If you are lying to me, and if you go running off to kill, this relationship may well be over. I am tired of you dragging me around like this, after everything I have done for you.
T!Ed: Fine. *snaps* I am lying and as soon as you let me go, I'm running out to kill them all, butcher them to little pieces. Happy now?
IC!Alfons: No, of course I am not happy! Edward... ::blinks back tears:: I am at my wits end, here. I do not know what to do. I want to stay with you and be happy with you and you keep doing things like this...
T!Ed: I've already given up enough of myself for you! What else do you want?
IC!Alfons: I want a normal relationship, Edward. As normal as we can have, anyway, given our circumstances. I know we will not always be perfectly happy or anything, and I know bad things will happen, but... I want to know that you love me as much as I love you... I want to know that you will stay with me...
T!Ed: *laughs bitterly* You've got me chained to the counter. I can't go anywhere even if I wanted to.
IC!Alfons: That is not what I mean, and you know it. ::sighs shakily::
T!Ed: It's about as good as it's going to get, I think. *snorts, shifting again to try to relieve the ache in his arms, and winces at the movement*
IC!Alfons: ...Do you mean that? Really, that unless you are literally physically stuck here, that I cannot trust you at all? ::looks at him with watery eyes::
T!Ed: *narrows his eyes, then glances away* Apparently so...
IC!Alfons: ::blinks away tears, then sighs shakily again and tries to pull him closer:: Edward...
T!Ed: What? *tries to struggle away, pretty much failing*
IC!Alfons: ::scoots closer to him and rests his head against his, or at least attempts to, given the struggling:: I love you, okay? I used to trust you deeply, once. I trusted you with my life, and you proved worthy of that trust. We can have that back, we just need to work hard at it, together. I want things to be like they were before. But I also want to be fair to you, because I know I cannot expect you to be someone you are not...
T!Ed: Nothing will ever be like it was before, no matter what we do. And I'll just go on pretending like things are okay, just smile and look pretty for everyone. Until I snap..~
IC!Alfons: No, I realize things will not be the same, but I mean that I want us to trust each other again, and I want us to be happy again. If we were that way once, why can we not be now? We just need to rebuild what was once a strong foundation...
T!Ed: We won't be able to trust each other again. You already said yourself that you couldn't ever trust me, and how am I supposed to trust you then? Or even after you hurt me?
IC!Alfons: I want to trust you, though, and I think I can learn to do so again, but I have to have reason to trust you, and right now with you threatening to kill people, I do not know how I am supposed to do that. ::sighs and buries his face in Ed's hair:: And I am so so very sorry about your ankle, I told you that, and I want to make it better... More than that, I am so sorry for all the times I have caused you pain in the past...
T!Ed: Well, I don't want your trust. *attempts to jerk his head away, eyes watery* I don't want anything from you ever again for as long as I live.
IC!Alfons: ... ::pulls back and lets go of him, sinking back against the cabinets:: ...Do you... Do you really mean that?
T!Ed: *looks up at him fearfully, sniffling, and at a loss for what to say*
IC!Alfons: ::shakes his head slowly, then finds that he's shaking a little:: Edward...
T!Ed: *makes a small, distressed noise and shrinks away a little, about ready to break down*
IC!Alfons: ::is sort of unable to speak; just sits there and wipes his eyes with his sleeve, hoping Ed will take it back::
T!Ed: *tries to hide his face against his arm, remaining mostly silent other than sobbing into his sleeve*
IC!Alfons: ::turns a little and wipes his eyes again, then hesitates briefly before touching his hands together and pressing them against the counter at his side, freeing Ed's hands::
T!Ed: *yelps a little in surprise as his arms drop to his sides, shaking violently*
IC!Alfons: ::scoots away from him and pulls his knees to his chest, pressing his face against them::
T!Ed: *moves away from him as well to the opposite side of the kitchen, pressing his hands to his face and continuing to cry*
IC!Alfons: ::looks up a little and watches him, wiping his eyes from time to time:: I-if you want me to... To go... If that is what you really want... I will... I told you, I will stay with you... As long as you will allow me to, but if you really want me to go...
T!Ed: *ducks his head down and looks off to the side so that he doesn't have to meet his gaze, shrugging*
IC!Alfons: ::sniffles and buries his face against his knees again, hoping for a real answer::
T!Ed: *finally looks at him after a few minutes* ...I... I really don't know what to tell you... I don't...
IC!Alfons: ::sobs, shuddering slightly:: I... I feel stupid, but... Do you love me...?
T!Ed: I... I... Y-yeah... I think... Alfons...
IC!Alfons: ::nods a little:: I love you... I do... I love you so much... So when things like this happen... I do not know what to do... How to handle it...
T!Ed: I don't know what to do... *eyes fill with tears* I want to stay with you, I really do, but... It hurts...
IC!Alfons: ::sighs shakily, sniffling:: I know... It does hurt, it hurts me too... But I cannot imagine life without you... You mean so much to me, I... I cannot put it into words...
T!Ed: I... I know... *sighs heavily and shakes his head* But I can't keep doing this to you...
IC!Alfons: It would hurt me even more if you wanted me to go... I do not know what I would do... I just get so scared... Honestly, if you do snap and kill people again, I do not think I could handle it... I feel awful for saying that, because... Because I feel like I should support you more than that, like I should help you... Instead of running in fear...
T!Ed: Who wouldn't run in fear..? If I were you, I would... I want you to be happy, I really do, but you're only happy so briefly with me... The rest of the time, I'm upsetting you, and I hate doing that to you... You deserve more than me, you really do...
IC!Alfons: ::shakes his head:: But the times I am happy with you... Those are the best times in my life, and they make up for the other times... I would sacrifice everything I have to try and get more of that time...
T!Ed: Alfons... *looks at him, pained* Just leave me, please... Find someone better, someone that won't hurt you...
IC!Alfons: And then what, regret leaving you for the rest of my life? I would, if I left now... There is still so much hope... The medicine... If it works, if it helps at all... I... ::breaks down into more sobbing again:: I do not want to leave you...
T!Ed: Alfons, please... *bites his lip, trying not to cry himself* What if it doesn't work? What if I stab you in the middle of the night or something terrible like that?
IC!Alfons: No, you... You will not do that, I know you will not... If I have faith in you at all, it is that you will never do a thing like that...
T!Ed: I already attacked you once, I don't want to risk doing that to you again... I would have moments ago if I could have...
IC!Alfons: ::sighs shakily and looks at his left palm:: What you did before... It shook me, I will admit... I never thought you would ever hurt me... But I still feel like it will not happen again... It seems maybe I do trust you too much for my own good...
T!Ed: *leans against the counter with his head tilted upwards, hands covering his face* If I hurt you again, I'd probably do something stupid to myself, as some form of revenge for you or something like that... I just couldn't live with myself if I caused you that much pain again...
IC!Alfons: If you did that, it would only hurt me more... ::shakes his head, then buries his face back against his knees:: I just want to be with you... That is all I want... I never realized how difficult it would get, but after all of this... After everything we have been through together, I am not about to turn back now...
T!Ed: *sighs shakily* I don't know what to do... I feel so trapped either way...
IC!Alfons: I... I wish I knew what to do, too. I want you to be happy, though.
T!Ed: I want you to be happy too, but either way we won't be... We can't be apart and we just end up hurting each other when together.
IC!Alfons: I am happier with you than I would be without you...
T!Ed: *sighs and shrugs* Then I give up. Stay.
IC!Alfons: ::frowns:: I only want to stay if you actually want me to stay... Do not just say "I give up"...
T!Ed: I already told you that I don't know what I want. I don't know what else to tell you, Alfons...
IC!Alfons: ::sighs heavily:: Alright. I will wait until you do know, then. I will be here for you.
T!Ed: All I want is for you to be safe, and you're not safe here. *shakes his head, looking down*
IC!Alfons: If I am not safe here, I am not safe anywhere. If you think you would hurt me at all, then it does not matter where I am.
T!Ed: Whatever, it doesn't matter. *curls up against the cupboard, rubbing his eyes*
IC!Alfons: ::looks over at his neglected bottle of tea sitting several feet away and sighs, closing his eyes::
T!Ed: Look, if we're done, I'm going to bed... I didn't get any sleep at all last night.
IC!Alfons: Alright. I apologize for that. And I hope you sleep well.
T!Ed: *just shakes his head and scrambles up quickly, intent on getting out of there as soon as possible, then cries out sharply, falling back down and clinging to the countertop to stay up*
IC!Alfons: ::stands quickly, then hesitates a little:: ...Are you alright? Do you need anything?
T!Ed: Fuck! *hisses and looks down at his foot* No, I'm fine. *stands there for a while before limping out of the kitchen, leaning heavily against the wall to support himself*
IC!Alfons: ::follows cautiously after him:: I could get you some ice... Really, it would help...
T!Ed: No. *makes it to the couch and lays down carefully*
IC!Alfons: ...I could get you something to drink and some painkillers, then... But there is no reason for you to just suffer...
T!Ed: I'm fine. *winces and rolls over onto his side, back to Alfons, and grabs the blanket off the end of the couch to wrap around himself*
IC!Alfons: ::frowns sadly and watches him for a moment, then goes back to the kitchen with a sigh to retrieve his tea, taking a long drink of it once he has it in hand::
T!Ed: *lays there for a while, staring at the couch cushion, before eventually succumbing to sleep*
IC!Alfons: ::walks past and picks up Katrinelje on the way, then curls up on top of the bed, cuddling with her and sniffling softly::
When: 6/20/06
Rating: PG, some language
Category: Misc. Pairings
Summary: Oh my god they never stop being emo, even when they're supposed to stop. WHHYYYYY???
IC!Alfons: ::walks into the kitchen with a sigh and looks at Ed a little sadly before heading to the refridgerator to get some tea:: Do you want anything to drink..?
T!Ed: *looks at him from his spot on the floor and glares sullenly, whimpering pathetically*
IC!Alfons: ::frowns sadly and sits down near him:: Edward, I want to release you, I really do. I just think it is more important to help other people if you are going to try and kill them...
T!Ed: Just go away... *scoots away from him as best he can, wincing at the pain in his ankle*
IC!Alfons: ::sighs, then shakes his head a little:: You still need to have your ankle treated. Would you let me, bitte?
T!Ed: No! *snaps at him with a growl* I'll get out of here myself and fix it then, you'll see...
IC!Alfons: ::flinches:: Sorry...
T!Ed: *snorts and looks away from him, resting his forehead on one of the cabinets*
IC!Alfons: ::sits with his back to the wall again and opens his bottle of tea, looking away from him as well:: I wish you would let me help you...
T!Ed: You've done enough. Binding me to the counter and injuring my ankle? Fan-fucking-tastic... *laughs madly*
IC!Alfons: ::hangs his head with a sinking feeling in his stomach, eyes closed:: I did not mean to... I really did not mean for you to get hurt, and I want to make it better...
T!Ed: Then let me go..~?
IC!Alfons: I would gladly let you go if I knew you were not going to kill anyone...
T!Ed: Oh, I won't. Promise~
IC!Alfons: ::shudders a little:: I do not trust you though...
T!Ed: *cocks his head to the side, peering at him from around his arm* You and the rest of the world.
IC!Alfons: ::sets the bottle of tea down without drinking any and fixes his eyes on the kitchen floor, arms around his knees:: I want to trust you, Edward. I feel like I should, and I feel terrible that I do not...
T!Ed: Kind of too bad isn't it? *snorts* I'm used to it, though. No one trusts me. Should be something that I expect now, even from you. *shifts slightly in his spot, trying to get more comfortable, and cries out a little in pain*
IC!Alfons: ::looks over at him with concern, frowning sadly, then focuses on the floor again:: I am so sorry... You deserve better than me...
T!Ed: You're not sorry, so I don't want to hear it... *bites his lip, eyes closed tightly*
IC!Alfons: No, I am very sorry. I feel awful. I just want to hold you and comfort you and help you, but you will not let me, and I know it is my fault. Never mind that I do not trust you; you clearly have no reason to trust me.
T!Ed: Like I have reason to trust anyone? I'll I get is kicked around and used, so there's no fucking point in it. I can't even help myself because, la-di-da, I just go along with it because of whatever the hell is going on in my head or whatever.
IC!Alfons: If it makes you feel better, I have never used you in any way like that. I have never thought of you in that sort of way. I love you and I really do want you to have a better life than the one you have been given so far. You deserve so much better.
T!Ed: Doesn't matter what you want for me because it's not going to change anytime soon, now is it?
IC!Alfons: It can, Edward. If that medicine works, you will be finally free of these sorts of harmful thoughts... You will not see things that are not there, and you will be happy without having to kill anyone...
T!Ed: Oh, yeah right. Maybe I'll have another breakdown before then. Maybe I'll kill myself before it can actually work..~
IC!Alfons: Gott, I hope not. I could not bear to lose you...
T!Ed: Oh, dear. *puts on his best mourning look* Darling, precious Edward did himself in... Oh well~ *sneers*
IC!Alfons: ::sighs and rests his chin on his knees, closing his eyes::
T!Ed: *glares at him for a while before resting his forehead against the cabinet door again, then giggles to himself and hits his head against the cabinet*
IC!Alfons: ::winces a little and looks over at him, worried::
T!Ed: *glances at Alfons quickly before hitting his head again, harder this time*
IC!Alfons: Edward- ::quickly gets up and walks over to him, then tries to hold onto him and keep him from hitting his head again::
T!Ed: *snarls and strains his head against his hands* Let me go!
IC!Alfons: No! Stop trying to knock yourself out! ::ducks under one of his arms to place himself between him and the cabinets::
T!Ed: If I want to, I can~ *smiles pleasantly at him*
IC!Alfons: ::frowns and shakes his head a little:: Why do you want to do that, though?
T!Ed: ...To get away from you~
IC!Alfons: ::looks away a little:: Do you hate me that much, really?
T!Ed: When you tie me up and hurt me, yes.
IC!Alfons: If I let you go, will you stay here and not kill anyone?
T!Ed: Maybe, maybe not~ Depends on how I feel. *grins*
IC!Alfons: ::blinks slowly, thinking, then sighs and loops his arms around Ed's waist and closes his eyes:: I want to let you go... I do not want you stuck here like this...
T!Ed: *pulls away from his slightly, not able to get very far* Then let me go.
IC!Alfons: ::looks into his eyes:: I will if you promise to stay here in the apartment and calm down.
T!Ed: *looks back at him squarly* No.
IC!Alfons: ::shrugs, raising an eyebrow:: Then you will stay here until I know you are done feeling homicidal. Honestly, you know how I feel about this. If I can save the lives of a few innocent people, I will do it.
T!Ed: Then get out of my way. Maybe I can spatter my brains all over the cabinets if I hit my head hard enough~
IC!Alfons: I am not going to let you kill yourself, either.
T!Ed: Then what do you want me to do? Sit here and rot?
IC!Alfons: No, I want you to realize that killing people is not going to do you any good.
T!Ed: Fine. *sighs heavily and gives him the puppy eyes* I won't kill anyone.
IC!Alfons: ...Promise? ::is skeptical::
T!Ed: *snerks* Yes.
IC!Alfons: You realize, of course, that if you go sprinting off the instant I let you go, I will stop at nothing to prevent you from running out the door, ja?
T!Ed: I wouldn't expect anything less~
IC!Alfons: ::frowns, then looks away:: If you are lying to me, and if you go running off to kill, this relationship may well be over. I am tired of you dragging me around like this, after everything I have done for you.
T!Ed: Fine. *snaps* I am lying and as soon as you let me go, I'm running out to kill them all, butcher them to little pieces. Happy now?
IC!Alfons: No, of course I am not happy! Edward... ::blinks back tears:: I am at my wits end, here. I do not know what to do. I want to stay with you and be happy with you and you keep doing things like this...
T!Ed: I've already given up enough of myself for you! What else do you want?
IC!Alfons: I want a normal relationship, Edward. As normal as we can have, anyway, given our circumstances. I know we will not always be perfectly happy or anything, and I know bad things will happen, but... I want to know that you love me as much as I love you... I want to know that you will stay with me...
T!Ed: *laughs bitterly* You've got me chained to the counter. I can't go anywhere even if I wanted to.
IC!Alfons: That is not what I mean, and you know it. ::sighs shakily::
T!Ed: It's about as good as it's going to get, I think. *snorts, shifting again to try to relieve the ache in his arms, and winces at the movement*
IC!Alfons: ...Do you mean that? Really, that unless you are literally physically stuck here, that I cannot trust you at all? ::looks at him with watery eyes::
T!Ed: *narrows his eyes, then glances away* Apparently so...
IC!Alfons: ::blinks away tears, then sighs shakily again and tries to pull him closer:: Edward...
T!Ed: What? *tries to struggle away, pretty much failing*
IC!Alfons: ::scoots closer to him and rests his head against his, or at least attempts to, given the struggling:: I love you, okay? I used to trust you deeply, once. I trusted you with my life, and you proved worthy of that trust. We can have that back, we just need to work hard at it, together. I want things to be like they were before. But I also want to be fair to you, because I know I cannot expect you to be someone you are not...
T!Ed: Nothing will ever be like it was before, no matter what we do. And I'll just go on pretending like things are okay, just smile and look pretty for everyone. Until I snap..~
IC!Alfons: No, I realize things will not be the same, but I mean that I want us to trust each other again, and I want us to be happy again. If we were that way once, why can we not be now? We just need to rebuild what was once a strong foundation...
T!Ed: We won't be able to trust each other again. You already said yourself that you couldn't ever trust me, and how am I supposed to trust you then? Or even after you hurt me?
IC!Alfons: I want to trust you, though, and I think I can learn to do so again, but I have to have reason to trust you, and right now with you threatening to kill people, I do not know how I am supposed to do that. ::sighs and buries his face in Ed's hair:: And I am so so very sorry about your ankle, I told you that, and I want to make it better... More than that, I am so sorry for all the times I have caused you pain in the past...
T!Ed: Well, I don't want your trust. *attempts to jerk his head away, eyes watery* I don't want anything from you ever again for as long as I live.
IC!Alfons: ... ::pulls back and lets go of him, sinking back against the cabinets:: ...Do you... Do you really mean that?
T!Ed: *looks up at him fearfully, sniffling, and at a loss for what to say*
IC!Alfons: ::shakes his head slowly, then finds that he's shaking a little:: Edward...
T!Ed: *makes a small, distressed noise and shrinks away a little, about ready to break down*
IC!Alfons: ::is sort of unable to speak; just sits there and wipes his eyes with his sleeve, hoping Ed will take it back::
T!Ed: *tries to hide his face against his arm, remaining mostly silent other than sobbing into his sleeve*
IC!Alfons: ::turns a little and wipes his eyes again, then hesitates briefly before touching his hands together and pressing them against the counter at his side, freeing Ed's hands::
T!Ed: *yelps a little in surprise as his arms drop to his sides, shaking violently*
IC!Alfons: ::scoots away from him and pulls his knees to his chest, pressing his face against them::
T!Ed: *moves away from him as well to the opposite side of the kitchen, pressing his hands to his face and continuing to cry*
IC!Alfons: ::looks up a little and watches him, wiping his eyes from time to time:: I-if you want me to... To go... If that is what you really want... I will... I told you, I will stay with you... As long as you will allow me to, but if you really want me to go...
T!Ed: *ducks his head down and looks off to the side so that he doesn't have to meet his gaze, shrugging*
IC!Alfons: ::sniffles and buries his face against his knees again, hoping for a real answer::
T!Ed: *finally looks at him after a few minutes* ...I... I really don't know what to tell you... I don't...
IC!Alfons: ::sobs, shuddering slightly:: I... I feel stupid, but... Do you love me...?
T!Ed: I... I... Y-yeah... I think... Alfons...
IC!Alfons: ::nods a little:: I love you... I do... I love you so much... So when things like this happen... I do not know what to do... How to handle it...
T!Ed: I don't know what to do... *eyes fill with tears* I want to stay with you, I really do, but... It hurts...
IC!Alfons: ::sighs shakily, sniffling:: I know... It does hurt, it hurts me too... But I cannot imagine life without you... You mean so much to me, I... I cannot put it into words...
T!Ed: I... I know... *sighs heavily and shakes his head* But I can't keep doing this to you...
IC!Alfons: It would hurt me even more if you wanted me to go... I do not know what I would do... I just get so scared... Honestly, if you do snap and kill people again, I do not think I could handle it... I feel awful for saying that, because... Because I feel like I should support you more than that, like I should help you... Instead of running in fear...
T!Ed: Who wouldn't run in fear..? If I were you, I would... I want you to be happy, I really do, but you're only happy so briefly with me... The rest of the time, I'm upsetting you, and I hate doing that to you... You deserve more than me, you really do...
IC!Alfons: ::shakes his head:: But the times I am happy with you... Those are the best times in my life, and they make up for the other times... I would sacrifice everything I have to try and get more of that time...
T!Ed: Alfons... *looks at him, pained* Just leave me, please... Find someone better, someone that won't hurt you...
IC!Alfons: And then what, regret leaving you for the rest of my life? I would, if I left now... There is still so much hope... The medicine... If it works, if it helps at all... I... ::breaks down into more sobbing again:: I do not want to leave you...
T!Ed: Alfons, please... *bites his lip, trying not to cry himself* What if it doesn't work? What if I stab you in the middle of the night or something terrible like that?
IC!Alfons: No, you... You will not do that, I know you will not... If I have faith in you at all, it is that you will never do a thing like that...
T!Ed: I already attacked you once, I don't want to risk doing that to you again... I would have moments ago if I could have...
IC!Alfons: ::sighs shakily and looks at his left palm:: What you did before... It shook me, I will admit... I never thought you would ever hurt me... But I still feel like it will not happen again... It seems maybe I do trust you too much for my own good...
T!Ed: *leans against the counter with his head tilted upwards, hands covering his face* If I hurt you again, I'd probably do something stupid to myself, as some form of revenge for you or something like that... I just couldn't live with myself if I caused you that much pain again...
IC!Alfons: If you did that, it would only hurt me more... ::shakes his head, then buries his face back against his knees:: I just want to be with you... That is all I want... I never realized how difficult it would get, but after all of this... After everything we have been through together, I am not about to turn back now...
T!Ed: *sighs shakily* I don't know what to do... I feel so trapped either way...
IC!Alfons: I... I wish I knew what to do, too. I want you to be happy, though.
T!Ed: I want you to be happy too, but either way we won't be... We can't be apart and we just end up hurting each other when together.
IC!Alfons: I am happier with you than I would be without you...
T!Ed: *sighs and shrugs* Then I give up. Stay.
IC!Alfons: ::frowns:: I only want to stay if you actually want me to stay... Do not just say "I give up"...
T!Ed: I already told you that I don't know what I want. I don't know what else to tell you, Alfons...
IC!Alfons: ::sighs heavily:: Alright. I will wait until you do know, then. I will be here for you.
T!Ed: All I want is for you to be safe, and you're not safe here. *shakes his head, looking down*
IC!Alfons: If I am not safe here, I am not safe anywhere. If you think you would hurt me at all, then it does not matter where I am.
T!Ed: Whatever, it doesn't matter. *curls up against the cupboard, rubbing his eyes*
IC!Alfons: ::looks over at his neglected bottle of tea sitting several feet away and sighs, closing his eyes::
T!Ed: Look, if we're done, I'm going to bed... I didn't get any sleep at all last night.
IC!Alfons: Alright. I apologize for that. And I hope you sleep well.
T!Ed: *just shakes his head and scrambles up quickly, intent on getting out of there as soon as possible, then cries out sharply, falling back down and clinging to the countertop to stay up*
IC!Alfons: ::stands quickly, then hesitates a little:: ...Are you alright? Do you need anything?
T!Ed: Fuck! *hisses and looks down at his foot* No, I'm fine. *stands there for a while before limping out of the kitchen, leaning heavily against the wall to support himself*
IC!Alfons: ::follows cautiously after him:: I could get you some ice... Really, it would help...
T!Ed: No. *makes it to the couch and lays down carefully*
IC!Alfons: ...I could get you something to drink and some painkillers, then... But there is no reason for you to just suffer...
T!Ed: I'm fine. *winces and rolls over onto his side, back to Alfons, and grabs the blanket off the end of the couch to wrap around himself*
IC!Alfons: ::frowns sadly and watches him for a moment, then goes back to the kitchen with a sigh to retrieve his tea, taking a long drink of it once he has it in hand::
T!Ed: *lays there for a while, staring at the couch cushion, before eventually succumbing to sleep*
IC!Alfons: ::walks past and picks up Katrinelje on the way, then curls up on top of the bed, cuddling with her and sniffling softly::