So I lied...
I said I'd stop LJing, but I really can't help myself.
How long has it been, anyway? It's only been a couple of months, but it's felt like years.
Anyway, I've been listening to the most recent Nine Inch Nails album (I don't want to say the new album because it's by no standards new), and it's got me in tears. Now, Nine Inch Nails, as you may very well know, tends to be rather violent and more angry than anything else, but this one song seriously has me in tears. The orchestration is absolutely beautiful, and the words... well, I'll show you.
Shame on us,
doomed from the start.
May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts.
Shame on us
and all we've done
and all we ever were -
just zeros and ones.
Like I said, it's got me thinking. The song happens to be about the end of the world, and there's no fire, no disease or war that comes with it. What happens is that everyone, everywhere suddenly experiences all of the pain we have put our planet through. Every single act we have taken to destroy what we claim to own is thrown in our faces before we are finally ripped apart, atom by atom. I probably sound like some kind of damn, dirty hippy right now, but I don't care. I'm not trying to preach any religion or philosophy, I'm just saying that these few lines have really changed my outlook on life, and I'm trying to help you understand why.
Sure, I realize that I can't just give up everything. Of course I'm going to keep doing what I do every day. The only difference is that I'm going to feel horrible about every single thing I do. Every time I eat or take the bus, I feel like I'm about to throw up, not from sickness, but from disgust. I feel awful, and I will never be able to stop feeling this way. And the weirdest thing is, I'm thankful.
If you took the time to read all of this, regardless of whether or not you could stand it, I appreciate it. You are a true friend.
As for never posting ever again, clearly that's a promise I can't keep. I'll probably end up watching your lives from behind my computer, and occasionally posting about something that influences me.
How long has it been, anyway? It's only been a couple of months, but it's felt like years.
Anyway, I've been listening to the most recent Nine Inch Nails album (I don't want to say the new album because it's by no standards new), and it's got me in tears. Now, Nine Inch Nails, as you may very well know, tends to be rather violent and more angry than anything else, but this one song seriously has me in tears. The orchestration is absolutely beautiful, and the words... well, I'll show you.
Shame on us,
doomed from the start.
May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts.
Shame on us
and all we've done
and all we ever were -
just zeros and ones.
Like I said, it's got me thinking. The song happens to be about the end of the world, and there's no fire, no disease or war that comes with it. What happens is that everyone, everywhere suddenly experiences all of the pain we have put our planet through. Every single act we have taken to destroy what we claim to own is thrown in our faces before we are finally ripped apart, atom by atom. I probably sound like some kind of damn, dirty hippy right now, but I don't care. I'm not trying to preach any religion or philosophy, I'm just saying that these few lines have really changed my outlook on life, and I'm trying to help you understand why.
Sure, I realize that I can't just give up everything. Of course I'm going to keep doing what I do every day. The only difference is that I'm going to feel horrible about every single thing I do. Every time I eat or take the bus, I feel like I'm about to throw up, not from sickness, but from disgust. I feel awful, and I will never be able to stop feeling this way. And the weirdest thing is, I'm thankful.
If you took the time to read all of this, regardless of whether or not you could stand it, I appreciate it. You are a true friend.
As for never posting ever again, clearly that's a promise I can't keep. I'll probably end up watching your lives from behind my computer, and occasionally posting about something that influences me.