Chapter Seven
CHAPTER SEVEN (CHAPTER SEVEN, YEAH?): IN WHICH THE EVENT IS NOT AS DRAWN OUT AS THE OTHERS SEEM TO BE. I GUESS THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL THE CREAMED CORN IS EATEN SO QUICKLY.
So the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! continued on their way to the other side of the Harmless and Light Forest of Kindness and Joy, protected by India’s eternal health and wealth derived from a whisker from Nick the Ninja’s beard.
Still, the eternal health and wealth of India could not save them from weird goings on. It was not some sort of good luck charm. It was not Felix Felices. It just meant that she would not get a cold.
The next weird going on that the NEW AND IMPOROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! would face found them quite soon after leaving the Ninja Clan of a Thousand Burning Suns, Harmless and Light Forest of Kindness and Joy Faction. Like, ten minutes after finding euphoria in the interpretive dancing skillz of India.
“What’s that?” Andrew the Apple Eater wondered aloud. “Just up ahead… that big yellow thing that looks like a swamp made out of creamed corn…”
None of the other members of the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA! could make it out clearly. It just looked like a giant swamp made out of creamed corn, from where they were standing.
As they got closer, they were having no more luck with trying to figure out what it was. It still looked like a giant swamp made out of creamed corn.
It was not until they were standing at the very edge of the great mass of yellow gloopy stuff that they realised that they had been right all along. It WAS a giant swamp of creamed corn. That was not particularly pleasant. I mean, do not get me wrong; I love creamed corn as much as the next person; possibly more, if the next person is not a great fan of the stuff. But a giant swamp of it? Not my idea of a good time. It would do better to be mixed in with some Two Minute Noodles, and some peas. Maybe a little tasty cheese, depending on whether or not I can find the cheese grater. My point is, no one likes a giant swamp of creamed corn. Well, I guess there might be ONE OR TWO people in the world who would like a giant swamp of creamed corn - we can’t have people writing in,
Dear Ms. A. L. Hallam. There is nothing in the world that I would like than a giant swamp of creamed corn. You said in your novel - if you could call it a novel, HA! - that no one in the world would want a giant swamp made of creamed corn. As I am the exception, this statement has offended me greatly. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, blah, blah, blah.
Some Pissed Off Guy.
That would not be fun. They would probably come after me with tin after tin of creamed corn. The thought of it is making me shudder. Just as the sight of the giant swamp made of creamed corn was making the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! shudder.
“What are we going
To do? We can’t go over’t.
We can’t go under
“It. We’ll have to go
Through it! And that is all I
Had wanted to say,” Lucy the Literate said.
“Lucy the Literate is right!” Eleanor the Electric cried. “But I really hate swimming through creamed corn. I really hate it the most out of anything in the world.”
“I have never tried creamed corn before,” Andrew the Apple Eater said. “But I do not think that I want to… it looks kind of really disgusting. Ew.”
India looked kind of sick. Kind of really sick.
Sian the half human, half robot said, “At least it is a pretty colour. Yellow! Everybody loves yellow!!!” - Dear Ms. A. L. Hallam. I hate yellow. Yours sincerely, Some Pissed Off Guy. - “It reminds me of sunshine, and um… sunshine!”
Lucy the Literate was right, though. There was no other way to get to the other side than to swim it. And the only way to stop Scott the evil robot was on the other side of the creamed corn swamp.
Everyone took a deep breath, and slid in to the swamp of creamed corn.
It was disgusting in the creamed corn swamp. Think of all the bad aspects of creamed corn, and then all of the bad aspects of swamps, and then mix them together, and you could probably imagine what it was like for the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!!
It was hard to swim through, and creamed corn was going all over everybody’s faces. Trying to brush it off with one’s hands only led to more creamed corn on the face. Quite accidentally, Andrew the Apple Eater licked off some of the creamed corn that had fallen on his lip. “Wait a second,” he said, with the air of someone reaching a Eureka moment. “This so called creamed corn does not taste so bad! Just a second here!” And Andrew the Apple Eater proceeded to eat all of the creamed corn in the swamp, at the lightning fast speed he ate apples at. At which he ate apples. The lightning fast speed at which he ate apples. Yes.
And soon, pretty much, problem solver-ed. Andrew the Apple Eater ate up all the creamed corn and saved the day! The NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! were able to simply walk out of what was left of the creamed corn swamp, with ease! Hooray for the eating skills of Andrew the Apple Eater!!!
So the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! continued on their way to the other side of the Harmless and Light Forest of Kindness and Joy, protected by India’s eternal health and wealth derived from a whisker from Nick the Ninja’s beard.
Still, the eternal health and wealth of India could not save them from weird goings on. It was not some sort of good luck charm. It was not Felix Felices. It just meant that she would not get a cold.
The next weird going on that the NEW AND IMPOROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! would face found them quite soon after leaving the Ninja Clan of a Thousand Burning Suns, Harmless and Light Forest of Kindness and Joy Faction. Like, ten minutes after finding euphoria in the interpretive dancing skillz of India.
“What’s that?” Andrew the Apple Eater wondered aloud. “Just up ahead… that big yellow thing that looks like a swamp made out of creamed corn…”
None of the other members of the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA! could make it out clearly. It just looked like a giant swamp made out of creamed corn, from where they were standing.
As they got closer, they were having no more luck with trying to figure out what it was. It still looked like a giant swamp made out of creamed corn.
It was not until they were standing at the very edge of the great mass of yellow gloopy stuff that they realised that they had been right all along. It WAS a giant swamp of creamed corn. That was not particularly pleasant. I mean, do not get me wrong; I love creamed corn as much as the next person; possibly more, if the next person is not a great fan of the stuff. But a giant swamp of it? Not my idea of a good time. It would do better to be mixed in with some Two Minute Noodles, and some peas. Maybe a little tasty cheese, depending on whether or not I can find the cheese grater. My point is, no one likes a giant swamp of creamed corn. Well, I guess there might be ONE OR TWO people in the world who would like a giant swamp of creamed corn - we can’t have people writing in,
Dear Ms. A. L. Hallam. There is nothing in the world that I would like than a giant swamp of creamed corn. You said in your novel - if you could call it a novel, HA! - that no one in the world would want a giant swamp made of creamed corn. As I am the exception, this statement has offended me greatly. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, blah, blah, blah.
Some Pissed Off Guy.
That would not be fun. They would probably come after me with tin after tin of creamed corn. The thought of it is making me shudder. Just as the sight of the giant swamp made of creamed corn was making the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! shudder.
“What are we going
To do? We can’t go over’t.
We can’t go under
“It. We’ll have to go
Through it! And that is all I
Had wanted to say,” Lucy the Literate said.
“Lucy the Literate is right!” Eleanor the Electric cried. “But I really hate swimming through creamed corn. I really hate it the most out of anything in the world.”
“I have never tried creamed corn before,” Andrew the Apple Eater said. “But I do not think that I want to… it looks kind of really disgusting. Ew.”
India looked kind of sick. Kind of really sick.
Sian the half human, half robot said, “At least it is a pretty colour. Yellow! Everybody loves yellow!!!” - Dear Ms. A. L. Hallam. I hate yellow. Yours sincerely, Some Pissed Off Guy. - “It reminds me of sunshine, and um… sunshine!”
Lucy the Literate was right, though. There was no other way to get to the other side than to swim it. And the only way to stop Scott the evil robot was on the other side of the creamed corn swamp.
Everyone took a deep breath, and slid in to the swamp of creamed corn.
It was disgusting in the creamed corn swamp. Think of all the bad aspects of creamed corn, and then all of the bad aspects of swamps, and then mix them together, and you could probably imagine what it was like for the NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!!
It was hard to swim through, and creamed corn was going all over everybody’s faces. Trying to brush it off with one’s hands only led to more creamed corn on the face. Quite accidentally, Andrew the Apple Eater licked off some of the creamed corn that had fallen on his lip. “Wait a second,” he said, with the air of someone reaching a Eureka moment. “This so called creamed corn does not taste so bad! Just a second here!” And Andrew the Apple Eater proceeded to eat all of the creamed corn in the swamp, at the lightning fast speed he ate apples at. At which he ate apples. The lightning fast speed at which he ate apples. Yes.
And soon, pretty much, problem solver-ed. Andrew the Apple Eater ate up all the creamed corn and saved the day! The NEW AND IMPROVED PENTAGON OF POWER, MUHAHAHA!!! were able to simply walk out of what was left of the creamed corn swamp, with ease! Hooray for the eating skills of Andrew the Apple Eater!!!