Title: Oops, This Family Did It Again
Author: Omnicat
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: Star Wars episodes 4-8.
Warnings: Incest, sex talk.
Characters & Relationships: Rey x Ben
Summary: New rule: no hooking up without a genetic screening ever again. // 483 words
Author’s Note: Enjoy!
So it all started when Leia regaled them with the tale of how, when Ben was about nine years old, she and Han got so fed up with each other they drunkenly divorced for three days and he came stumbling back home with no pants and no memory of anything that had happened...
Oops, This Family Did It Again
“I had sex with my little sister,” Ben said out loud, just to try out how it felt. “I fucked my little sister. I let my little sister fuck me. I’ve ejaculated in my little sister’s every hole, and she’s been in mine, and we’ve tried all the positions we -”
Rey propped herself up on her elbows to check. Yep. Still with the thousand-yard-stare straight up at the ceiling.
“I gotta say, I’m surprised you’re the one taking this so hard. Shouldn’t your years of obsessing over your grandfather’s helmet have prepared you for this?”
That little muscle under his eye twitched. “You do not want me to answer that, Rey of Jakku.”
“That’s Rey Solo. Twice over now,” she quipped. “You’ve been married to your half-sister for almost ten years, you forgot that one.”
“I’ve been married to my little sister for almost ten years and have performed marital activities with her all that time,” Ben droned obediently. “I’m a monster.”
“Nah, I convinced you to keep going as if nothing’s changed, remember? I’ll be the monster this time,” Rey said, patting his arm and rolling out of bed.
“I’m ogling my little sister,” Ben narrated as she moved around the bedroom. “My little sister is walking around naked with my ejaculate leaking out of her vaginal canal. Probably to rile me up, because in hindsight I should probably have seen this coming from how much she’s always liked to annoy me. My little sister is bending over to show off what a mess her big brother made of her pussy... aaand flipping me the bird.”
She was smiling into her underwear drawer, though. It was good to have his terrible sense of humor back.
She went into the ’fresher to wipe herself down with a wet cloth. When she returned in her normal, actually-for-sleeping nightwear, Ben said: “I’m getting a vasectomy. This cannot happen three generations in a row. I’d rather lop the whole business off than subject our little girl to that risk.”
“Do not do that. I still want that stuff,” Rey said, frowning. “And anyway, the brothers and sisters she’s raised with aren’t going to be the problem. It’s the ones that show up out of nowhere once she’s all grown up we have to look out for. With this family’s luck, one of our enemies has long since used our genetic material to brew up a test-tube kid they’re raising to hate and defeat us.”
Ben stole her pillow and slapped it over his face to groan into. “Don’t even joke about that.”