Battlestar Galactica} How Can I?
Title: How Can I?
Author: spooky_xphile
Rating: PG
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Characters: Kara Thrace, Leoben Conoy
Spoilers: “Occupation” Deleted Scene
Kara Thrace walked into the bathroom with a purpose. She had it all planned out. The intricacy of it all was not intricate at all. She knew what she had to do. No matter what she thought or spoke.
It was all cold. The room itself. The knob of the sink; possibly its water coming straight from the spout. The lid of the toilet. The cover that protected the apparent dirty water from the rest of the cold room. The pump was slippery and surprisingly not cold.
She went to the door and put the piece of metal she had retrieved from the pump in the doorframe. She didn't even bother locking the door. With her stoic feelings guiding her, she went back to the toilet seat.
Her mind was focused on another piece of metal she could see refracting lights of the water. She had planned this. She hadn't known for how long. She had given up on counting the days before the idea sprouted into her mind the way Leoben believed his lectures would do.
She hesitates for a second. That's all she would allow herself to do.
As the metal pierces her skin, she holds onto memories of a better time. Her breath is steady, like if she were in a Viper once more. After a few seconds, the pain subsides and she makes the shard go farther.
The water starts to fall over the sink and onto the floor. Leoben would be able to hear it.
She hears her name and the jiggling of the handle. He's a Cylon, he could punch through it if he wanted.
She stops and sits on the ground between the toilet and sink.
He speaks and knows. Why? How does he know she'll stop right before when she herself barely made their decision?
She doesn't look at her self-inflicted wound that lays on the toilet seat. She refuses to do so. She stares off into space. No more jiggling but her name.
He comes through and she's not surprised. Her eyes barely move to see him walk in. He shuts off the sink without looking, his eyes constantly on her. Only when he sees her wound does his eyes break contact. Only now does she drop the metal.
His hand comes to her face and she doesn't flinch. “How can I make you see the life you can have? How can I do that?”
*****
Later, as she sits on the couch, wrapped in her bathrobe, she watches as he goes back forth from the front to the back of the apartment. At one point, when he is gone longer than before, her eyes drift to the white bandage that is almost the same color as her skin. She doesn't dare lift it off her injury but tries to burn it with her eyes.
A small sound is made and Kara looks up to see Leoben had come back. He was standing in the doorway to the living room and was watching her.
How long had he been there?
There was no cocky smile on his face or any other human facial expressions he had picked up around the humans. Disappointment etched his face. Kara remembered what he had asked after he came into the bathroom. He wasn't disappointed in herself, but himself. He wanted to show her the life she wanted to give her. But she wouldn't allow it.
He took a few steps forward and she didn't make any movement. She just stared at him and he at her. She could see what he was seeing: a woman still scared of something she had just done.
He didn't move any further and just continued to watch her.
She opened her mouth to speak but found that nothing came out. She cleared her throat and spoke in a small voice, “I think we need a new door.”
Author: spooky_xphile
Rating: PG
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Characters: Kara Thrace, Leoben Conoy
Spoilers: “Occupation” Deleted Scene
Kara Thrace walked into the bathroom with a purpose. She had it all planned out. The intricacy of it all was not intricate at all. She knew what she had to do. No matter what she thought or spoke.
It was all cold. The room itself. The knob of the sink; possibly its water coming straight from the spout. The lid of the toilet. The cover that protected the apparent dirty water from the rest of the cold room. The pump was slippery and surprisingly not cold.
She went to the door and put the piece of metal she had retrieved from the pump in the doorframe. She didn't even bother locking the door. With her stoic feelings guiding her, she went back to the toilet seat.
Her mind was focused on another piece of metal she could see refracting lights of the water. She had planned this. She hadn't known for how long. She had given up on counting the days before the idea sprouted into her mind the way Leoben believed his lectures would do.
She hesitates for a second. That's all she would allow herself to do.
As the metal pierces her skin, she holds onto memories of a better time. Her breath is steady, like if she were in a Viper once more. After a few seconds, the pain subsides and she makes the shard go farther.
The water starts to fall over the sink and onto the floor. Leoben would be able to hear it.
She hears her name and the jiggling of the handle. He's a Cylon, he could punch through it if he wanted.
She stops and sits on the ground between the toilet and sink.
He speaks and knows. Why? How does he know she'll stop right before when she herself barely made their decision?
She doesn't look at her self-inflicted wound that lays on the toilet seat. She refuses to do so. She stares off into space. No more jiggling but her name.
He comes through and she's not surprised. Her eyes barely move to see him walk in. He shuts off the sink without looking, his eyes constantly on her. Only when he sees her wound does his eyes break contact. Only now does she drop the metal.
His hand comes to her face and she doesn't flinch. “How can I make you see the life you can have? How can I do that?”
*****
Later, as she sits on the couch, wrapped in her bathrobe, she watches as he goes back forth from the front to the back of the apartment. At one point, when he is gone longer than before, her eyes drift to the white bandage that is almost the same color as her skin. She doesn't dare lift it off her injury but tries to burn it with her eyes.
A small sound is made and Kara looks up to see Leoben had come back. He was standing in the doorway to the living room and was watching her.
How long had he been there?
There was no cocky smile on his face or any other human facial expressions he had picked up around the humans. Disappointment etched his face. Kara remembered what he had asked after he came into the bathroom. He wasn't disappointed in herself, but himself. He wanted to show her the life she wanted to give her. But she wouldn't allow it.
He took a few steps forward and she didn't make any movement. She just stared at him and he at her. She could see what he was seeing: a woman still scared of something she had just done.
He didn't move any further and just continued to watch her.
She opened her mouth to speak but found that nothing came out. She cleared her throat and spoke in a small voice, “I think we need a new door.”