a haunting in d minor
Title: a haunting in d minor
Pairing: Leo/Hongbin
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~6,000
A/N: Entry for 2014 forvixx Halloween exchange. Reposted here with some edits. Thanks to heartclub for being a great beta! (Also as a note to the readers, a hanok is a traditional Korean home. It can be thought of a complex of buildings and rooms.)
Taekwoon really hated his friends.
As he stood in front of the abandoned hanok, warning tapes and demolition signs plastered across the rotting gate, Taekwoon cursed the day he met Cha Hakyeon and his annoying crew.
Because if not for loud-mouthed Kim Wonshik and his stupid idea about visiting haunted houses, Taekwoon wouldn’t be standing here.
The gate creaked when he gently pushed it open. Today was cloudy, which meant it was difficult to see inside. A thick fog covered the inner courtyard.
Because if not for bratty Han Sanghyuk and his dare to enter this haunted shithole, Taekwoon wouldn’t be frozen at the entrance of a godforsaken, rundown house on a Friday night. He was pretty sure this was how most horror films began -- a stupid dare by stupid friends that lead to a stupid death. Fuck. Taekwoon really hated his friends.
Sucking in a deep breath, he walked inside.
---
Taekwoon had once watched a documentary about the science behind hauntings.
“It’s mostly a low frequency sound wave,” he said over lunch, stealing one of Jaehwan’s cookies. “Choose the right sound wave, lower the temperature a bit, and you can scare anyone.”
“Fascinating,” Hakyeon deadpanned. He groaned in pain when Taekwoon kicked him.
“Well if it’s just science then I bet you’re not scared of ghosts,” Sanghyuk piped up. “Right, hyung?”
There was a dangerous glint to Sanghyuk’s expression, something conniving and mischievous behind those slanted eyes that smiled back at him. Taekwoon carefully shifted away from the youngest.
“The only thing Taekwoon hyung is scared of is Wonshik’s stinky feet,” Jaehwan interrupted. “That smell could wake up the dead.”
Wonshik flung his bagel at Jaehwan’s face, reaching for Hakyeon’s sandwich next when Taekwoon swatted him across the head.
“Anyways,” Sanghyuk continued, wrinkling his nose in distaste when Wonshik picked up his fallen pastry. “Have you guys heard about the haunted hanok at the edge of town?”
“The one they’ve been trying to demolish for decades?” Hakyeon shrugged. “It’s just some old property no one wants anymore.”
Sanghyuk shook his head. “No, it’s definitely haunted. I once heard someone crying as I passed by it. My friends also heard screams coming from inside.”
“Oh yeah, I heard about that.” Wonshik narrowed his eyes. “My aunt said that someone had been murdered in there a while back. Some crazy guy killed his kid or something but the body was never found. The spirit is said to haunt the place.”
Laughing at Jaehwan’s soft whimpers and at Hakyeon’s sudden silence, Sanghyuk eagerly turned to Taekwoon. “But hyung, you said there’s no such thing as ghosts, right?”
And at that moment, Taekwoon realized just how big of a shithead Han Sanghyuk was.
---
Taekwoon could never refuse a dare, especially when it came from insolent dongsaengs. And while some would call it ‘bravery’ or even ‘determinedness,’ he felt anything but courageous as he stepped deeper into the abandoned hanok. He jumped at every creak and groan of the old building, swearing when he thought a shadow moved. By the time he had ventured into the center of the complex, the sun had set and Taekwoon was relying on his cell phone for light.
It was cold and dark and Taekwoon could have sworn he just saw something move to his right. Fuck, I still haven’t turned in that physics homework set and I can’t believe I’m going to die before I graduate, fuck Lee Jaehwan, fuck him and the rest of the brats, why couldn’t I find better friends--
“Oh, hello!”
Taekwoon slowly turned to see a man standing at the door. He was wearing a navy dress shirt with slim pants, a bright smile donning his face as he moved closer. He looked pleasant enough, nice eyes and dimpled cheeks, but Taekwoon was too preoccupied with the realization that the moonlight made him look unnaturally pale.
That, and the man’s feet drifted a good three inches above the ground.
As Taekwoon bolted out the door, cursing aloud when he tripped over a loose floorboard, and scrambled across the courtyard and out the gate to go streaking down the street faster than he had ever run in his entire life, Taekwoon decided that he really, really hated his friends.
---
Monday was a horrible affair, partly because his favorite cafe had run out of mochi and mostly because Taekwoon had gotten no sleep the entire weekend. Every time he closed his eyes all Taekwoon could see was a floating boy coming towards him, and it gave him chills, even in the late summer heat.
Sighing, Taekwoon entered his last class of the day. He ignored Hakyeon’s incredulous look when he collapsed into the adjacent seat.
“Wow,” his friend murmured, a hint of awe in his voice. “I didn’t know it was possible for you to look more miserable than you already do on a daily basis but…..wow.”
Taekwoon ignored him, carefully sipping on his coffee.
“So exactly how many children are you planning to kill with that face of yours?”
“Keep talking and I’ll tell Wonshik where you live.”
Hakyeon snorted. “I’ll put out a restraining order.” He watched Taekwoon struggle to get out his notebooks for a few minutes before speaking up again. “So I guess that place is really haunted.”
Taekwoon knocked over his coffee. “I never said anything.”
“Your hands have been shaking all day,” Hakyeon pointed out. “And like I said, you look like the undead.”
Taekwoon quickly lowered his hands, cursing when they trembled against his thighs.
“Hyung!” Sanghyuk bounced towards the pair, eagerly sitting next to Taekwoon. “So, did you meet a ghost?”
“He looks like a ghost,” Hakyeon snorted. He gave a pained yelp when Taekwoon kicked him out of his seat.
“I thought you said there were no such things as spirits,” Sanghyuk grinned.
“I never said that,” Taekwoon replied. “I just said that there is a science to hauntings-”
“So you were scared,” Sanghyuk cut him off. A smirk grew on his thick lips. “Taekwoon hyung was scared.”
“Please,” Taekwoon muttered, shoving away the younger’s beaming face. “I would never be scared of some house. It was just-”
“Prove it,” Sanghyuk interrupted again. He giggled when Taekwoon knocked over his books. “Go back there.”
---
Taekwoon had known since day one that Sanghyuk was a brat. He was nice and respectful enough, but the kid was always plotting -- always looking for ways to humiliate his hyungs. He still wouldn’t let go of the time when Hakyeon cried at the end of Frozen. Taekwoon had somewhat scared Sanghyuk into leaving him alone, but the brat still insisted on ruining his life. And Taekwoon really had nothing to prove, especially not to some college freshman, but he still found himself back at the hanok the following night. This time, rain began falling just as Taekwoon had stepped inside and so he was forced to wait out the storm.
He was huddled in one of the rooms when he heard a long creak, a thud, and then suddenly, the entire place was still. The rain stopped. The sounds stopped. Even the air seemed to pause as everything froze.
Except for that pale man walking towards him.
“Oh, you’re back!” It was the same man from before, with the same navy shirt and same excited smile, only his feet were actually touching the ground this time. But then he walked through the wall and that the last thing Taekwoon saw before he passed out.
---
“We really have to stop meeting like this. I’m beginning to think you’re scared of me or something.”
Taekwoon slowly opened his eyes to see the man’s head floating over him. With a strangled yell, he quickly scrambled up and against the wall. His eyes flashed around the room, searching for a way out except he’s blocking the door but wait if he’s a ghost I can just run through him right…
“Let’s try this again,” the man smiled, stretching out his hand. “My name is Hongbin. And you are?”
This wasn’t happening. Taekwoon squeezed his eyes shut as he crouched down, covering his ears from the soft voice that filled his ears. “I am going to kill Sanghyuk,” he muttered, slowly rocking back and forth.
“I don’t think this Sanghyuk would like that very much.”
Taekwoon screamed at the voice in his ear, eyes bulging when he saw the man squatted next to him. The ghost -- Hongbin -- gave an amused grin before scooting back, hands held up in reassurance. “A little jumpy, aren’t we?”
In the back of his mind, Taekwoon thought Hongbin faintly reminded him of Sanghyuk -- the same level of snark with the worst timing. Even Hongbin’s eyes glinted in that same (mischievous) way as Sanghyuk’s did. Maybe Sanghyuk had a brother. Or a dead cousin.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Taekwoon muttered, a slight tremor to his voice. “You’re not real and I’m possibly high on whatever Jaehwan is usually on. I’m also going to blame this on watching too many horror films. I’m going to walk out of here and then I’m going to kill Sanghyuk in class tomorrow.”
“While that sounds like a great plan,” Hongbin chuckled, “I’m afraid you can’t leave.”
Taekwoon finally met Hongbin’s gaze. “What do you mean… I can’t leave?”
“You closed the doors.” Hongbin pointed outside to the hanok’s main doors, the ones that had been swung shut by the wind because that was how Jung Taekwoon’s life worked. “Once they’re closed, you’re stuck in this world.”
This wasn’t happening.
---
When Taekwoon was seven years old, he swore he saw a monster in his closet. It may have been that scary cartoon he had just watched or maybe just the wind creating shadows across his room, but he had been terrified. He remembered hiding behind his father’s broad back, waiting as his father fought his worst fears. “Just close your eyes and they’re not so scary,” his father had said, rubbing his head. “Monsters only exist if you believe they do.”
Well then, Taekwoon must believe in ghosts because the one in front of him refused to disappear. No amount of eye-rubbing, ignoring, or praying made Hongbin go away.
“You can ignore me all you want,” Hongbin spoke up. Taekwoon jumped at the soft voice - deep with a hint of childishness - and looked up to see Hongbin sitting outside the room. He was dangling his feet into the courtyard, glancing back to throw Taekwoon a smirk. “You’re the one that got into this mess.”
No, Taekwoon thought darkly. This was all Sanghyuk’s mess. Fucking Han Sanghyuk. Taekwoon blinked, turning to look outside again. It was sunny, the ground dry and even a light wind blowing.
“Rain,” Taekwoon whispered. “It was raining.”
“Oh,” Hongbin said, sheepishly tilting his head. “You mean this?”
The sky suddenly turned dark and the downpour began again. The ground ran into mud and even that one puddle -- the one Taekwoon had almost slipped in when he entered the hanok -- was back. Taekwoon choked, trying to hold in his yells because great, a magic ghost, just what I needed.
“I told you,” Hongbin grinned. “You’re in this world now. Well, it’s more like my world but you get the idea.”
He waved his hand and the sky brightened again, the weather turning pleasant. The room’s walls appeared lighter, the floors cleaner, and even a few pictures frames and posters scattered inside. Taekwoon could feel cold sweat sliding down his neck.
“Magic,” Hongbin sang, waving his fingers. He chuckled when Taekwoon flinched. “I’m just kidding. This world is based on my memories.”
The scenery changed to dusk, a sliver of sun just barely seen over the hanok’s walls as an owl hooted nearby. The room appeared rundown again, a thick layer of dust covering the floor. Outside, someone cursed before the front doors gently creaked open.
“Remember this night?” Hongbin smirked. “You were scared to death when you first visited.”
Taekwoon coughed, turning his head. Outside the window, he could see that the sky had turned back to a clear blue. Rubbing his head, Taekwoon groaned softly. Of course he would be stuck in a ghost’s world. At least the ghost was friendly. He snuck a glance over at Hongbin, who still sat next to the door. Carefully, Taekwoon shuffled his way over until he stood a good three feet from Hongbin.
“Okay, so I’m stuck here,” Taekwoon muttered. “How do I get out?”
Hongbin smiled widely and stood up to approach him. “Easy. Just help me remember how I died.”
Taekwoon took five steps back. “You remember the weather-” he waved around- “but you don’t remember how you died?”
“I must have been traumatized or something,” Hongbin shrugged.
Taekwoon snorted in disbelief. “Or you’re just spouting bullshit.”
Hongbin frowned. “Look, it’s not like I chose you, you’re the idiot that closed the door-”
“Trust me. Helping an amnesiac ghost is the last thing I want to do.”
The walls suddenly shook, the pictures that hung from them tumbling to the floor. A gust of wind barreled around them and a tree crashed through the ceiling. Letting out a shout, Taekwoon covered his head and crouched on the ground.
The wind abruptly stopped and Taekwoon cautiously looked up to see Hongbin with his eyes closed and fists tight. The ghost turned his head to the door, giving Taekwoon a tired glance, before waving his hand. Rain fell in a heavy downpour, thunder and lightning erupting from the dark night sky.
“This was what it was like on the night I died. It’s the only thing I can remember,” Hongbin said before taking a heavy breath. “I just know that my name is Hongbin and I’m stuck here. I know that I’m probably dead and I’m just…” He pressed his eyes shut, voice cracking at the edge of his words. “I’m just lonely.”
---
“Taekwoon, wake up.”
His mother’s soft voice echoed around him, filling Taekwoon with warmth. Breathing deeply, he could smell the ham omelets she would make for breakfast. He smiled sleepily, stretching before he opened his eyes.
“You’re drooling.”
Taekwoon shrieked. Clutching his chest, he scrambled to get up only to slam his head against a bookcase. He gave a groan, rubbing his sore head as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. A single bed, a corner desk with music composition books, a guitar in the corner and- a ghost standing before him.
“Did you dream about food?” Hongbin asked, stepping closer to him. He briefly frowned when Taekwoon flinched, taking two steps back, before continuing softly. “It must have been pretty good.”
He stared at Taekwoon for a few more minutes, waiting while Taekwoon carefully looked at anywhere but the ghost. Realizing he wasn’t going to get a response, Hongbin sighed and left the room. Taekwoon released his breath and rubbed his face. Ghost or not, he was being an ass. Slowly, he got up and wandered around the hanok before finding Hongbin sitting against a tree in the main garden.
“Morning,” Taekwoon muttered, clearing his throat. Hongbin gave a tilted grin before staring down at his hands. Taekwoon hesitated before sitting a few feet away from the ghost. “So it was raining the night you died, huh? Maybe it was a car accident?”
Taekwoon unconsciously grimaced, regretting the words as soon as they had left his mouth. He wasn’t usually this insensitive -- though Hakyeon might disagree -- but he really wanted to get out of this place. He had a midterm paper due in a few days. And he had to kill Sanghyuk.
“I don’t think so,” Hongbin replied. “I’m stuck in this house so it must have happened here.”
“Maybe it was something simple, like a heart attack,” Taekwoon pressed on. “Or maybe you had pneumonia? That stuff was killer like fifty years ago.”
Hongbin gave him a pointed glance, huffing as he spoke. “I don’t think I’d be stuck here if I had pneumonia. What kind of lame ghost do you think I am?”
“Well then, give me something more to work with than ‘thundering night’,” Taekwoon whined. “Were you doing something? Meeting someone? Did you have a crazy friend over?”
“If I knew that much, we both wouldn’t be stuck in this mess,” Hongbin glared. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he took a slow breath before continuing. “Tell me about the food you dreamed.”
“…what?” Taekwoon asked incredulously.
“The food. Tell me about it. Tell me about anything.” Hongbin ran his fingers across the grass, smiling sadly when the strands passed through him. “Maybe if you talk to me things about your life, I’ll remember something about mine.”
Taekwoon watched the turn of Hongbin’s smile grow deeper, the edges slipping into a solemn grimace that matched his tight eyes. He shivered when he saw how the sun’s rays flowed right through Hongbin’s pale skin. “My mum used to make ham omelets in the mornings.”
“..omo….let?”
Seeing Hongbin’s puzzled frown, Taekwoon chuckled. “Fried eggs, but mixed with ham and some vegetables. It’s really good.”
“It sounds good,” Hongbin hummed in agreement. “No wonder you were drooling.”
Taekwoon coughed. “Yeah, well. How could you have never had an omelet before?”
“There’s no need for food here,” Hongbin shrugged. “So I guess I just forgot about it.”
Thinking back, Taekwoon realized he hadn’t been hungry in a while. It must have been at least twelve hours but he wasn’t starving or even thirsty. Then again, being stuck in a ghost world did kind of ruin one’s appetite.
“I think… I remember something about a cake though,” Hongbin continued, squinting his eyes as he focused. “It was white with blue frosting.”
“Maybe your birthday?” Taekwoon suggested. Speaking of birthdays, Hakyeon’s was coming up in a few days and he would kill Taekwoon if he missed his party for the second year in a row. Taekwoon groaned when he thought about all the nagging and whining Hakyeon would inevitably do.
“What?” Hongbin asked.
“Nothing, just… my friend’s birthday is soon and he always insists I celebrate with him.”
“Well, that’s what any friend would want,” Hongbin grinned.
“Not if you’re Cha Hakyeon,” Taekwoon muttered darkly. “That idiot chooses the stupidest things, like an animal costume party. I’m twenty-four, why do I need to dress up like a lion?”
Hongbin snorted before erupting into loud chuckles. “A lion suits you!”
Taekwoon glanced over at Hongbin’s shaking form, his eyes catching the deep dimples on the ghost’s cheeks. Hongbin was not bad looking by any means. In fact, Taekwoon thought he was very attractive, with his small face and chiseled features. He could have been an ulzzang, Taekwoon wryly thought. A very successful one, if he were less see-through. A very pretty one. Hongbin covered his mouth, more laughter threatening to spill out as he tried to calm himself. Taekwoon looked away, mumbling softly, “You’re lucky not to be friends with him.”
“Tell me more about this Hakyeon,” Hongbin insisted. He eagerly stared at Taekwoon, a breathy giggle escaping as he waited. And Taekwoon slowly began to talk, words about that annoying friend with a stupidly long neck filling the space between them- Taekwoon’s ears a deep, deep red.
---
Taekwoon quickly learned that the “other” world didn’t have a concept of time. Everything was based on Hongbin -- the rising of the sun, the darkening of the sky, the alignments of stars and the placement of furniture or trees or birds chirping in the garden. It was almost nice, the unpredictability of things, when the world shifted with Hongbin’s mood. It was a pleasant change from the stagnant life Taekwoon usually experienced.
“But what about the real time?” Taekwoon asked as a sunset splashed reds and purples across the sky. They were sitting on the roof, a breeze carrying the scent of cherry blossoms. “I think this was my favorite spot,” Hongbin had said when he insisted they come up there. “I remember seeing the sunset from here.” Taekwoon watched as pink petals fluttered through Hongbin’s hair.
“No idea,” Hongbin replied. “Time stands still when you’re dead.”
“But you must know at least how long you’ve been- “ Taekwoon awkwardly gestured at Hongbin’s body- “not alive. I mean, someone came looking for you, right?”
“Not really,” Hongbin said, turning to stare at him. His eyes, while translucent, were so deep and filled with a pain Taekwoon couldn’t even begin to describe. It hurt to look at him. “You’re the first person to actually talk to me.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t give me much of a choice,” Taekwoon grumbled, relishing Hongbin’s soft laugh.
“Being here, all alone, I’ve come to realize that if nobody’s come for me, then I guess...” Hongbin sighed, looking around the room. “I guess it doesn’t matter who I am anymore.”
The dusk sky quickly morphed into darkness, only a sliver of moon seen through the clouds. Under the faint moonlight, Taekwoon saw Hongbin rub his eyes. “Sometimes I wish I had nothing but more time,” Taekwoon spoke up. He raised his voice to fill the silence that surrounded them. “All the professors at my university assign these ridiculous projects and papers, and one time I didn’t sleep for three days.”
Hongbin glanced at him. “You go to a university?”
“Yeah, you’ve ever been to one?”
“No,” Hongbin shook his head furiously. “What do you do there?”
“Study. Maybe make friends.” Thinking of his own, Taekwoon grimaced. “You mostly study one thing you really want to.”
“And what did you choose?”
“Music.” Taekwoon gave him a small smile. “Mostly composition stuff so I dabble on the piano or--”
“Piano,” Hongbin whispered, eyes narrowing. “I feel like that’s something important, something from my past. But I can’t remember more than that...”
“Maybe you played it? Or some other instrument?” Taekwoon suggested. “Maybe you were going to school for it?”
“No… I mean, I don’t think I was allowed to...” Hongbin mumbled, looking at his hands. “I don’t remember having… friends.”
Taekwoon paused, worrying his lip before he continued. “Trust me, sometimes it’s better not to have friends. This kid, Wonshik, that idiot decided he was going to go to an underground rap battle -- that’s where you rhyme and insult each other’s mothers -- and he somehow managed to drag us all to the wrong side of town and because he insisted we dress in all black, the police picked us up and lectured us for two hours about the dangers of the hood life and it was just the most horrible night of my life…”
Taekwoon’s voice died as he saw how brightly Hongbin laughed, how much he seemed to sparkle under the moonlight. His translucent skin gave him an ethereal look as he tossed his head back with loud chuckles. Hongbin’s eyes lit up as he leaned back towards Taekwoon. “Tell me more!”
Taekwoon grinned. And as he told him about horrible cafeteria food, building book nests in the library, and picking up drunk friends from parties, he decided that Hongbin looked much more beautiful when he smiled.
---
While time was relative in the “other” world, sleep still came to Taekwoon. He still found himself yawning in the early mornings and drowsy in the late nights, and he later noticed that Hongbin was shifting the weather to match Taekwoon’s sleeping schedule.
(“You’re not dead yet,” Hongbin said, chuckling when Taekwoon failed miserably to keep his eyes open. He waved his hand so that a cool, quiet night appeared. “Humans need sleep to stay alive.”
“I’m in a ghost world so I’m okay…” Taekwoon blinked slowly, mind already drifting asleep.
“Goodnight, Taekwoon,” Hongbin whispered.)
Taekwoon fell asleep to soft breezes ruffling his hair and woke to light red peeking over the hanok’s walls. And every morning and every night, Hongbin would be nearby, humming faintly. The ghost’s presence had come to be comforting, as warmth would surge through Taekwoon’s veins with Hongbin’s smile and bright voice.
One afternoon, Taekwoon woke from a nap to see Hongbin lying next to him. His eyes were wide, thin lips parted in surprise when he met Taekwoon’s gaze. In the fading sunlight, Hongbin glowed, and for a brief moment, Taekwoon thought he could reach out and touch him.
“Did I wake you?” Hongbin whispered.
Taekwoon gave a sleepy smile, shaking his head. “It was about time I got up anyway. I’ve been getting too much sleep since I got here.”
Hongbin laughed, hand fluttering up to his mouth. “Funny, since you were too scared to even blink when you first came.”
Taekwoon rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small grin that tugged on his lips. He continued to stare at Hongbin, noticing how the ghost’s eyes lit up. Taekwoon had learned that Hongbin’s eyes looked so bright when he was-
“Excited?” Taekwoon asked. “Did something happen?”
Hongbin grinned widely before standing - floating - up. Motioning to Taekwoon, he disappeared into the hallway. “I found something while you were asleep.”
“You found..?”
“From my memories,” Hongbin said, urging Taekwoon to follow. He sounded breathless, glee in his voice. “I remembered something!”
They crossed the main yard, past rooms Taekwoon had never seen before, and behind a screen door to a small room. It was plain with only white walls and a window serving as decor. What made it special was the brown piano pushed up against the wall. Hongbin threw him a broad smile before making his way over to it.
“I think I used to play the piano,” Hongbin murmured. His fingers ghosted across the keys, lightly gracing the black and white wood without ever leaving a mark.
“Used to?” Taekwoon moved closer, blowing away some dust before idly tapping the keys. Slowly, a few notes turned into an old Yiruma song he hadn’t played since his high school days.
“Yeah,” Hongbin replied, staring over Taekwoon’s shoulder. “I don’t really remember anymore.”
Taekwoon moved over to make space on the small piano bench, motioning to Hongbin. “Then I’ll just have to help you.”
---
Taekwoon learned that Hongbin loved asking questions. “What does everyone wear, what kind of music do they play on the radio now, what do people do for fun?”
And Taekwoon quickly learned that he actually liked talking. He would spend all night talking about everything and nothing until he saw the first rays of daylight peeking over the hanok’s roof tiles and his voice was nothing but a scratchy croak. It was amazing, really, how things that had seemed so trivial before could be so precious to Hongbin. He clung to every word Taekwoon uttered.
“I think it’s a good thing I don’t remember,” Hongbin said one evening. His lips were pursed, fingers twiddling nervously with his hair, as he gave a tilted grin. “It’s easier to cope with this-” he pointed at his body “-when I don’t know what I’m missing out on.”
“What’s one thing you think you would miss out on?” Taekwoon asked, turning to face him.
“The food? The college life you always talk about, or maybe friends?” Hongbin laughed. “That Jaehwan sounds like a pretty fun guy.”
Taekwoon snorted, lying down on his back to stare up at the moon. He saw Hongbin lean down next to him, the ghost stretching his hands to the sky so that the stars shone right through his palms.
“I think I would miss sleeping the most though,” Hongbin said a few moments later. Taekwoon glanced over at him.
“I mean, you can’t dream if you don’t sleep, right?” Hongbin grinned ruefully. “And I miss that- making up my own worlds, coping with the life I have right now- I think dreams would really help with that.”
“It’s not like you don’t exist,” Taekwoon said. “I can see you, after all.”
“Yeah,” Hongbin hummed in agreement. “I’m really thankful for that, you know. I know it’s silly to say this, but it feels exceptionally empty to be a ghost, and with no one to think you’re real, it’s been so hard.”
“Hongbin,” Taekwoon whispered. He paused when he saw the ghost’s face suddenly tremble, eyes wide and wet as he bit back that beautiful smile.
“My name,” Hongbin croaked out, tears sparkling as they flowed down his cheeks. “I haven’t heard someone call my name in so long…”
Taekwoon reached out, tracing the lines of where Hongbin’s face should be. And he hoped that for this moment -- this brief second in this world -- he could be enough for Hongbin.
---
He remembered more every day. Hongbin was slowly recovering his memories, and Taekwoon could tell by the tilt of his head, the squint of his eyes, the way Hongbin would stare off into the distance and suddenly things from his past would spring forth -- a letter from his elementary school teacher, a picture of his family, a piano book Hongbin had once treasured. It was slow, but Hongbin was remembering
(“I had a dog!” Hongbin exclaimed, holding up a blue collar.
“I was an only child!” he pointed to his family portraits.
“I studied music too!” he yelled as he waved sheets of Beethoven and Mozart.)
and Taekwoon didn’t know how to feel about it.
Taekwoon played the piano sometimes, on days when Hongbin was feeling particularly down. He seemed to like this one Park Hyo Shin piece the most, pouting so cutely - ghost can pout apparently - at him that Taekwoon really felt as though he could play it again and again if Hongbin just looked at him like that once more.
Taekwoon sat underneath the cherry tree with Hongbin sometimes, on days when Hongbin was in a good mood and the weather was particularly nice. The musky scent of the blossoms filled his head and when he leaned back, Taekwoon could almost pretend that he felt Hongbin’s back meet his own.
Taekwoon didn’t know how to feel about this all because Hongbin was starting to take over his world but Taekwoon still wanted to -- needed to -- leave. He had a life, friends, and family back in the real world. Taekwoon wanted to leave.
(Right?)
---
He figured out Hongbin’s death completely by accident. He had been skimming through Hongbin’s comic collection when halfway through a book, he found a folded note. It was tattered, crinkling under his fingers as Taekwoon tried to pry the delicate paper open. Tear marks stained the page but he could make out the characters enough to read
Father… I wish to leave… I’ll come back one day… please…
The sound of thunder, lightning and rain falling from the skies, a boy running across the roof--
“You fell,” Taekwoon murmured. Hongbin appeared in front of him, giving him a questioning glance before his gaze fell on the note. His eyes flickered, mouth parting in realization when suddenly, the room shifted. A younger Hongbin was strumming the guitar next to the window, light brown hair falling across his curved eyes, when a man burst in and began yelling. The walls twisted again, changing from yellow to white, and there was an older Hongbin, lying underneath his bed as he listened to CDs in secrecy. The scenery changed a final time to that rainy night. Hongbin strapped on a bag and his guitar, leaving behind a note on his bed, and then he scaled out the window and up to the roof.
“Oh god,” Hongbin whispered as he watched his memory dash across the wet roof tiles. A crash of lightning, a slip of the foot, and then he was sliding, tumbling, falling.
A sickening crunch.
“Oh god,” Hongbin repeated. The rain stopped. The room stopped spinning. Everything paused as Hongbin and Taekwoon just stared at each other.
---
“A freak accident,” Hongbin murmured. A foggy sunrise greeted them the next morning, dew dotting the grass in heavy droplets. “I ran away to study music and… a freak accident.”
Taekwoon lowered his head, wondering if closure always felt this empty.
“I guess this means you can leave now,” Hongbin added. As if on cue, the main hanok doors creaked open. Hongbin gave him a wry grin. “Leaving so soon.”
“What’ll happen to you?” Taekwoon asked.
“Who knows? Nothing really connects me to this world now… except you.” Taekwoon might have been seeing things or maybe the sun was playing tricks, but for a second he swore he saw a hint of pink appear across Hongbin’s translucent cheeks. “If you’re leaving, then maybe I’ll disappear as well. Cross over or something.”
“Do you have to leave?” Taekwoon could hear the plea in his voice but pressed on. “I could come visit every now and then.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Hongbin chuckled. He blinked rapidly, as if willing away his tears, before reaching out to him. “Thank you for everything.”
Taekwoon held his breath as Hongbin’s hand drew nearer, gasping when he felt a cool touch to his wrist. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, desperately reaching out for something he couldn’t hold.
“Forget about the dead, Taekwoon,” Hongbin grinned sadly. “You don’t belong here.”
Taekwoon felt something yank him away, a force push him out. As the hanok’s doors swung shut, he caught a glimpse of Hongbin’s smile.
---
A total of three hours had passed.
Time was relative in the “other” world, which meant everything had passed at a slower rate. In the real world, time had always seemed to go by quickly but now, it didn’t seem to matter. Days and hours passed meaninglessly when all Taekwoon sought was a face that didn’t exist.
“Hyung, you’ve been acting really weird,” Sanghyuk said one lunch. The crew had decided to set up an intervention and Sanghyuk had been nominated to start it. Behind him, Wonshik nudged the younger to continue. “We’ve never seen you this out of it before. You haven’t punched Jaehwan hyung at all this week and you even let Hakyeon hyung cling to you all lunch.”
“What he’s trying to say is,” Hakyeon interrupted, kicking Sanghyuk underneath the table. “Are things okay?”
Taekwoon blinked at them before staring down at his food. “I’ve just… lost something really important.”
“Well then, stop moping around and go find it,” Hakyeon huffed. “Just sitting here, all depressed like that, it’s only ruining the mood.” Taekwoon looked up to see Jaehwan and Wonshik nodding in agreement.
“It’s not that simple,” Taekwoon replied. “I would have to leave and it’s not right to-”
“If it’s that important, then it must be worth it,” Sanghyuk spoke up. He gave Taekwoon a wide smile. “Right, hyung?”
Taekwoon thought of glowing sunsets and shimmering skin, of a soothing voice and full laughter -- of a beautiful smile that made him ache and want with all his heart.
“Right,” Taekwoon replied.
---
Sometimes, Taekwoon really liked his friends.
As he stood in front of the abandoned hanok, warning tapes and demolition signs plastered across the rotting gate, Taekwoon smiled as he recalled the day he met Cha Hakyeon and his annoying crew.
Because if not for loud-mouthed Kim Wonshik and his stupid idea about visiting haunted houses, Taekwoon wouldn’t be standing here.
The gate creaked when he gently pushed it open. Today was sunny, which meant it was easy to see inside. A light breeze blew cherry blossom petals across the courtyard.
Because if not for bratty Han Sanghyuk and his dare to enter this "other" world, Taekwoon wouldn’t have met someone so wonderful. He was pretty sure this was how most horror films began -- a stupid dare by stupid friends that lead to a stupid decision. But then again, maybe that was also how some love stories began. Hell. Sometimes, Taekwoon really liked his friends.
Sucking in a deep breath, he walked inside. And he closed the door behind him.
Pairing: Leo/Hongbin
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~6,000
A/N: Entry for 2014 forvixx Halloween exchange. Reposted here with some edits. Thanks to heartclub for being a great beta! (Also as a note to the readers, a hanok is a traditional Korean home. It can be thought of a complex of buildings and rooms.)
Taekwoon really hated his friends.
As he stood in front of the abandoned hanok, warning tapes and demolition signs plastered across the rotting gate, Taekwoon cursed the day he met Cha Hakyeon and his annoying crew.
Because if not for loud-mouthed Kim Wonshik and his stupid idea about visiting haunted houses, Taekwoon wouldn’t be standing here.
The gate creaked when he gently pushed it open. Today was cloudy, which meant it was difficult to see inside. A thick fog covered the inner courtyard.
Because if not for bratty Han Sanghyuk and his dare to enter this haunted shithole, Taekwoon wouldn’t be frozen at the entrance of a godforsaken, rundown house on a Friday night. He was pretty sure this was how most horror films began -- a stupid dare by stupid friends that lead to a stupid death. Fuck. Taekwoon really hated his friends.
Sucking in a deep breath, he walked inside.
---
Taekwoon had once watched a documentary about the science behind hauntings.
“It’s mostly a low frequency sound wave,” he said over lunch, stealing one of Jaehwan’s cookies. “Choose the right sound wave, lower the temperature a bit, and you can scare anyone.”
“Fascinating,” Hakyeon deadpanned. He groaned in pain when Taekwoon kicked him.
“Well if it’s just science then I bet you’re not scared of ghosts,” Sanghyuk piped up. “Right, hyung?”
There was a dangerous glint to Sanghyuk’s expression, something conniving and mischievous behind those slanted eyes that smiled back at him. Taekwoon carefully shifted away from the youngest.
“The only thing Taekwoon hyung is scared of is Wonshik’s stinky feet,” Jaehwan interrupted. “That smell could wake up the dead.”
Wonshik flung his bagel at Jaehwan’s face, reaching for Hakyeon’s sandwich next when Taekwoon swatted him across the head.
“Anyways,” Sanghyuk continued, wrinkling his nose in distaste when Wonshik picked up his fallen pastry. “Have you guys heard about the haunted hanok at the edge of town?”
“The one they’ve been trying to demolish for decades?” Hakyeon shrugged. “It’s just some old property no one wants anymore.”
Sanghyuk shook his head. “No, it’s definitely haunted. I once heard someone crying as I passed by it. My friends also heard screams coming from inside.”
“Oh yeah, I heard about that.” Wonshik narrowed his eyes. “My aunt said that someone had been murdered in there a while back. Some crazy guy killed his kid or something but the body was never found. The spirit is said to haunt the place.”
Laughing at Jaehwan’s soft whimpers and at Hakyeon’s sudden silence, Sanghyuk eagerly turned to Taekwoon. “But hyung, you said there’s no such thing as ghosts, right?”
And at that moment, Taekwoon realized just how big of a shithead Han Sanghyuk was.
---
Taekwoon could never refuse a dare, especially when it came from insolent dongsaengs. And while some would call it ‘bravery’ or even ‘determinedness,’ he felt anything but courageous as he stepped deeper into the abandoned hanok. He jumped at every creak and groan of the old building, swearing when he thought a shadow moved. By the time he had ventured into the center of the complex, the sun had set and Taekwoon was relying on his cell phone for light.
It was cold and dark and Taekwoon could have sworn he just saw something move to his right. Fuck, I still haven’t turned in that physics homework set and I can’t believe I’m going to die before I graduate, fuck Lee Jaehwan, fuck him and the rest of the brats, why couldn’t I find better friends--
“Oh, hello!”
Taekwoon slowly turned to see a man standing at the door. He was wearing a navy dress shirt with slim pants, a bright smile donning his face as he moved closer. He looked pleasant enough, nice eyes and dimpled cheeks, but Taekwoon was too preoccupied with the realization that the moonlight made him look unnaturally pale.
That, and the man’s feet drifted a good three inches above the ground.
As Taekwoon bolted out the door, cursing aloud when he tripped over a loose floorboard, and scrambled across the courtyard and out the gate to go streaking down the street faster than he had ever run in his entire life, Taekwoon decided that he really, really hated his friends.
---
Monday was a horrible affair, partly because his favorite cafe had run out of mochi and mostly because Taekwoon had gotten no sleep the entire weekend. Every time he closed his eyes all Taekwoon could see was a floating boy coming towards him, and it gave him chills, even in the late summer heat.
Sighing, Taekwoon entered his last class of the day. He ignored Hakyeon’s incredulous look when he collapsed into the adjacent seat.
“Wow,” his friend murmured, a hint of awe in his voice. “I didn’t know it was possible for you to look more miserable than you already do on a daily basis but…..wow.”
Taekwoon ignored him, carefully sipping on his coffee.
“So exactly how many children are you planning to kill with that face of yours?”
“Keep talking and I’ll tell Wonshik where you live.”
Hakyeon snorted. “I’ll put out a restraining order.” He watched Taekwoon struggle to get out his notebooks for a few minutes before speaking up again. “So I guess that place is really haunted.”
Taekwoon knocked over his coffee. “I never said anything.”
“Your hands have been shaking all day,” Hakyeon pointed out. “And like I said, you look like the undead.”
Taekwoon quickly lowered his hands, cursing when they trembled against his thighs.
“Hyung!” Sanghyuk bounced towards the pair, eagerly sitting next to Taekwoon. “So, did you meet a ghost?”
“He looks like a ghost,” Hakyeon snorted. He gave a pained yelp when Taekwoon kicked him out of his seat.
“I thought you said there were no such things as spirits,” Sanghyuk grinned.
“I never said that,” Taekwoon replied. “I just said that there is a science to hauntings-”
“So you were scared,” Sanghyuk cut him off. A smirk grew on his thick lips. “Taekwoon hyung was scared.”
“Please,” Taekwoon muttered, shoving away the younger’s beaming face. “I would never be scared of some house. It was just-”
“Prove it,” Sanghyuk interrupted again. He giggled when Taekwoon knocked over his books. “Go back there.”
---
Taekwoon had known since day one that Sanghyuk was a brat. He was nice and respectful enough, but the kid was always plotting -- always looking for ways to humiliate his hyungs. He still wouldn’t let go of the time when Hakyeon cried at the end of Frozen. Taekwoon had somewhat scared Sanghyuk into leaving him alone, but the brat still insisted on ruining his life. And Taekwoon really had nothing to prove, especially not to some college freshman, but he still found himself back at the hanok the following night. This time, rain began falling just as Taekwoon had stepped inside and so he was forced to wait out the storm.
He was huddled in one of the rooms when he heard a long creak, a thud, and then suddenly, the entire place was still. The rain stopped. The sounds stopped. Even the air seemed to pause as everything froze.
Except for that pale man walking towards him.
“Oh, you’re back!” It was the same man from before, with the same navy shirt and same excited smile, only his feet were actually touching the ground this time. But then he walked through the wall and that the last thing Taekwoon saw before he passed out.
---
“We really have to stop meeting like this. I’m beginning to think you’re scared of me or something.”
Taekwoon slowly opened his eyes to see the man’s head floating over him. With a strangled yell, he quickly scrambled up and against the wall. His eyes flashed around the room, searching for a way out except he’s blocking the door but wait if he’s a ghost I can just run through him right…
“Let’s try this again,” the man smiled, stretching out his hand. “My name is Hongbin. And you are?”
This wasn’t happening. Taekwoon squeezed his eyes shut as he crouched down, covering his ears from the soft voice that filled his ears. “I am going to kill Sanghyuk,” he muttered, slowly rocking back and forth.
“I don’t think this Sanghyuk would like that very much.”
Taekwoon screamed at the voice in his ear, eyes bulging when he saw the man squatted next to him. The ghost -- Hongbin -- gave an amused grin before scooting back, hands held up in reassurance. “A little jumpy, aren’t we?”
In the back of his mind, Taekwoon thought Hongbin faintly reminded him of Sanghyuk -- the same level of snark with the worst timing. Even Hongbin’s eyes glinted in that same (mischievous) way as Sanghyuk’s did. Maybe Sanghyuk had a brother. Or a dead cousin.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Taekwoon muttered, a slight tremor to his voice. “You’re not real and I’m possibly high on whatever Jaehwan is usually on. I’m also going to blame this on watching too many horror films. I’m going to walk out of here and then I’m going to kill Sanghyuk in class tomorrow.”
“While that sounds like a great plan,” Hongbin chuckled, “I’m afraid you can’t leave.”
Taekwoon finally met Hongbin’s gaze. “What do you mean… I can’t leave?”
“You closed the doors.” Hongbin pointed outside to the hanok’s main doors, the ones that had been swung shut by the wind because that was how Jung Taekwoon’s life worked. “Once they’re closed, you’re stuck in this world.”
This wasn’t happening.
---
When Taekwoon was seven years old, he swore he saw a monster in his closet. It may have been that scary cartoon he had just watched or maybe just the wind creating shadows across his room, but he had been terrified. He remembered hiding behind his father’s broad back, waiting as his father fought his worst fears. “Just close your eyes and they’re not so scary,” his father had said, rubbing his head. “Monsters only exist if you believe they do.”
Well then, Taekwoon must believe in ghosts because the one in front of him refused to disappear. No amount of eye-rubbing, ignoring, or praying made Hongbin go away.
“You can ignore me all you want,” Hongbin spoke up. Taekwoon jumped at the soft voice - deep with a hint of childishness - and looked up to see Hongbin sitting outside the room. He was dangling his feet into the courtyard, glancing back to throw Taekwoon a smirk. “You’re the one that got into this mess.”
No, Taekwoon thought darkly. This was all Sanghyuk’s mess. Fucking Han Sanghyuk. Taekwoon blinked, turning to look outside again. It was sunny, the ground dry and even a light wind blowing.
“Rain,” Taekwoon whispered. “It was raining.”
“Oh,” Hongbin said, sheepishly tilting his head. “You mean this?”
The sky suddenly turned dark and the downpour began again. The ground ran into mud and even that one puddle -- the one Taekwoon had almost slipped in when he entered the hanok -- was back. Taekwoon choked, trying to hold in his yells because great, a magic ghost, just what I needed.
“I told you,” Hongbin grinned. “You’re in this world now. Well, it’s more like my world but you get the idea.”
He waved his hand and the sky brightened again, the weather turning pleasant. The room’s walls appeared lighter, the floors cleaner, and even a few pictures frames and posters scattered inside. Taekwoon could feel cold sweat sliding down his neck.
“Magic,” Hongbin sang, waving his fingers. He chuckled when Taekwoon flinched. “I’m just kidding. This world is based on my memories.”
The scenery changed to dusk, a sliver of sun just barely seen over the hanok’s walls as an owl hooted nearby. The room appeared rundown again, a thick layer of dust covering the floor. Outside, someone cursed before the front doors gently creaked open.
“Remember this night?” Hongbin smirked. “You were scared to death when you first visited.”
Taekwoon coughed, turning his head. Outside the window, he could see that the sky had turned back to a clear blue. Rubbing his head, Taekwoon groaned softly. Of course he would be stuck in a ghost’s world. At least the ghost was friendly. He snuck a glance over at Hongbin, who still sat next to the door. Carefully, Taekwoon shuffled his way over until he stood a good three feet from Hongbin.
“Okay, so I’m stuck here,” Taekwoon muttered. “How do I get out?”
Hongbin smiled widely and stood up to approach him. “Easy. Just help me remember how I died.”
Taekwoon took five steps back. “You remember the weather-” he waved around- “but you don’t remember how you died?”
“I must have been traumatized or something,” Hongbin shrugged.
Taekwoon snorted in disbelief. “Or you’re just spouting bullshit.”
Hongbin frowned. “Look, it’s not like I chose you, you’re the idiot that closed the door-”
“Trust me. Helping an amnesiac ghost is the last thing I want to do.”
The walls suddenly shook, the pictures that hung from them tumbling to the floor. A gust of wind barreled around them and a tree crashed through the ceiling. Letting out a shout, Taekwoon covered his head and crouched on the ground.
The wind abruptly stopped and Taekwoon cautiously looked up to see Hongbin with his eyes closed and fists tight. The ghost turned his head to the door, giving Taekwoon a tired glance, before waving his hand. Rain fell in a heavy downpour, thunder and lightning erupting from the dark night sky.
“This was what it was like on the night I died. It’s the only thing I can remember,” Hongbin said before taking a heavy breath. “I just know that my name is Hongbin and I’m stuck here. I know that I’m probably dead and I’m just…” He pressed his eyes shut, voice cracking at the edge of his words. “I’m just lonely.”
---
“Taekwoon, wake up.”
His mother’s soft voice echoed around him, filling Taekwoon with warmth. Breathing deeply, he could smell the ham omelets she would make for breakfast. He smiled sleepily, stretching before he opened his eyes.
“You’re drooling.”
Taekwoon shrieked. Clutching his chest, he scrambled to get up only to slam his head against a bookcase. He gave a groan, rubbing his sore head as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. A single bed, a corner desk with music composition books, a guitar in the corner and- a ghost standing before him.
“Did you dream about food?” Hongbin asked, stepping closer to him. He briefly frowned when Taekwoon flinched, taking two steps back, before continuing softly. “It must have been pretty good.”
He stared at Taekwoon for a few more minutes, waiting while Taekwoon carefully looked at anywhere but the ghost. Realizing he wasn’t going to get a response, Hongbin sighed and left the room. Taekwoon released his breath and rubbed his face. Ghost or not, he was being an ass. Slowly, he got up and wandered around the hanok before finding Hongbin sitting against a tree in the main garden.
“Morning,” Taekwoon muttered, clearing his throat. Hongbin gave a tilted grin before staring down at his hands. Taekwoon hesitated before sitting a few feet away from the ghost. “So it was raining the night you died, huh? Maybe it was a car accident?”
Taekwoon unconsciously grimaced, regretting the words as soon as they had left his mouth. He wasn’t usually this insensitive -- though Hakyeon might disagree -- but he really wanted to get out of this place. He had a midterm paper due in a few days. And he had to kill Sanghyuk.
“I don’t think so,” Hongbin replied. “I’m stuck in this house so it must have happened here.”
“Maybe it was something simple, like a heart attack,” Taekwoon pressed on. “Or maybe you had pneumonia? That stuff was killer like fifty years ago.”
Hongbin gave him a pointed glance, huffing as he spoke. “I don’t think I’d be stuck here if I had pneumonia. What kind of lame ghost do you think I am?”
“Well then, give me something more to work with than ‘thundering night’,” Taekwoon whined. “Were you doing something? Meeting someone? Did you have a crazy friend over?”
“If I knew that much, we both wouldn’t be stuck in this mess,” Hongbin glared. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he took a slow breath before continuing. “Tell me about the food you dreamed.”
“…what?” Taekwoon asked incredulously.
“The food. Tell me about it. Tell me about anything.” Hongbin ran his fingers across the grass, smiling sadly when the strands passed through him. “Maybe if you talk to me things about your life, I’ll remember something about mine.”
Taekwoon watched the turn of Hongbin’s smile grow deeper, the edges slipping into a solemn grimace that matched his tight eyes. He shivered when he saw how the sun’s rays flowed right through Hongbin’s pale skin. “My mum used to make ham omelets in the mornings.”
“..omo….let?”
Seeing Hongbin’s puzzled frown, Taekwoon chuckled. “Fried eggs, but mixed with ham and some vegetables. It’s really good.”
“It sounds good,” Hongbin hummed in agreement. “No wonder you were drooling.”
Taekwoon coughed. “Yeah, well. How could you have never had an omelet before?”
“There’s no need for food here,” Hongbin shrugged. “So I guess I just forgot about it.”
Thinking back, Taekwoon realized he hadn’t been hungry in a while. It must have been at least twelve hours but he wasn’t starving or even thirsty. Then again, being stuck in a ghost world did kind of ruin one’s appetite.
“I think… I remember something about a cake though,” Hongbin continued, squinting his eyes as he focused. “It was white with blue frosting.”
“Maybe your birthday?” Taekwoon suggested. Speaking of birthdays, Hakyeon’s was coming up in a few days and he would kill Taekwoon if he missed his party for the second year in a row. Taekwoon groaned when he thought about all the nagging and whining Hakyeon would inevitably do.
“What?” Hongbin asked.
“Nothing, just… my friend’s birthday is soon and he always insists I celebrate with him.”
“Well, that’s what any friend would want,” Hongbin grinned.
“Not if you’re Cha Hakyeon,” Taekwoon muttered darkly. “That idiot chooses the stupidest things, like an animal costume party. I’m twenty-four, why do I need to dress up like a lion?”
Hongbin snorted before erupting into loud chuckles. “A lion suits you!”
Taekwoon glanced over at Hongbin’s shaking form, his eyes catching the deep dimples on the ghost’s cheeks. Hongbin was not bad looking by any means. In fact, Taekwoon thought he was very attractive, with his small face and chiseled features. He could have been an ulzzang, Taekwoon wryly thought. A very successful one, if he were less see-through. A very pretty one. Hongbin covered his mouth, more laughter threatening to spill out as he tried to calm himself. Taekwoon looked away, mumbling softly, “You’re lucky not to be friends with him.”
“Tell me more about this Hakyeon,” Hongbin insisted. He eagerly stared at Taekwoon, a breathy giggle escaping as he waited. And Taekwoon slowly began to talk, words about that annoying friend with a stupidly long neck filling the space between them- Taekwoon’s ears a deep, deep red.
---
Taekwoon quickly learned that the “other” world didn’t have a concept of time. Everything was based on Hongbin -- the rising of the sun, the darkening of the sky, the alignments of stars and the placement of furniture or trees or birds chirping in the garden. It was almost nice, the unpredictability of things, when the world shifted with Hongbin’s mood. It was a pleasant change from the stagnant life Taekwoon usually experienced.
“But what about the real time?” Taekwoon asked as a sunset splashed reds and purples across the sky. They were sitting on the roof, a breeze carrying the scent of cherry blossoms. “I think this was my favorite spot,” Hongbin had said when he insisted they come up there. “I remember seeing the sunset from here.” Taekwoon watched as pink petals fluttered through Hongbin’s hair.
“No idea,” Hongbin replied. “Time stands still when you’re dead.”
“But you must know at least how long you’ve been- “ Taekwoon awkwardly gestured at Hongbin’s body- “not alive. I mean, someone came looking for you, right?”
“Not really,” Hongbin said, turning to stare at him. His eyes, while translucent, were so deep and filled with a pain Taekwoon couldn’t even begin to describe. It hurt to look at him. “You’re the first person to actually talk to me.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t give me much of a choice,” Taekwoon grumbled, relishing Hongbin’s soft laugh.
“Being here, all alone, I’ve come to realize that if nobody’s come for me, then I guess...” Hongbin sighed, looking around the room. “I guess it doesn’t matter who I am anymore.”
The dusk sky quickly morphed into darkness, only a sliver of moon seen through the clouds. Under the faint moonlight, Taekwoon saw Hongbin rub his eyes. “Sometimes I wish I had nothing but more time,” Taekwoon spoke up. He raised his voice to fill the silence that surrounded them. “All the professors at my university assign these ridiculous projects and papers, and one time I didn’t sleep for three days.”
Hongbin glanced at him. “You go to a university?”
“Yeah, you’ve ever been to one?”
“No,” Hongbin shook his head furiously. “What do you do there?”
“Study. Maybe make friends.” Thinking of his own, Taekwoon grimaced. “You mostly study one thing you really want to.”
“And what did you choose?”
“Music.” Taekwoon gave him a small smile. “Mostly composition stuff so I dabble on the piano or--”
“Piano,” Hongbin whispered, eyes narrowing. “I feel like that’s something important, something from my past. But I can’t remember more than that...”
“Maybe you played it? Or some other instrument?” Taekwoon suggested. “Maybe you were going to school for it?”
“No… I mean, I don’t think I was allowed to...” Hongbin mumbled, looking at his hands. “I don’t remember having… friends.”
Taekwoon paused, worrying his lip before he continued. “Trust me, sometimes it’s better not to have friends. This kid, Wonshik, that idiot decided he was going to go to an underground rap battle -- that’s where you rhyme and insult each other’s mothers -- and he somehow managed to drag us all to the wrong side of town and because he insisted we dress in all black, the police picked us up and lectured us for two hours about the dangers of the hood life and it was just the most horrible night of my life…”
Taekwoon’s voice died as he saw how brightly Hongbin laughed, how much he seemed to sparkle under the moonlight. His translucent skin gave him an ethereal look as he tossed his head back with loud chuckles. Hongbin’s eyes lit up as he leaned back towards Taekwoon. “Tell me more!”
Taekwoon grinned. And as he told him about horrible cafeteria food, building book nests in the library, and picking up drunk friends from parties, he decided that Hongbin looked much more beautiful when he smiled.
---
While time was relative in the “other” world, sleep still came to Taekwoon. He still found himself yawning in the early mornings and drowsy in the late nights, and he later noticed that Hongbin was shifting the weather to match Taekwoon’s sleeping schedule.
(“You’re not dead yet,” Hongbin said, chuckling when Taekwoon failed miserably to keep his eyes open. He waved his hand so that a cool, quiet night appeared. “Humans need sleep to stay alive.”
“I’m in a ghost world so I’m okay…” Taekwoon blinked slowly, mind already drifting asleep.
“Goodnight, Taekwoon,” Hongbin whispered.)
Taekwoon fell asleep to soft breezes ruffling his hair and woke to light red peeking over the hanok’s walls. And every morning and every night, Hongbin would be nearby, humming faintly. The ghost’s presence had come to be comforting, as warmth would surge through Taekwoon’s veins with Hongbin’s smile and bright voice.
One afternoon, Taekwoon woke from a nap to see Hongbin lying next to him. His eyes were wide, thin lips parted in surprise when he met Taekwoon’s gaze. In the fading sunlight, Hongbin glowed, and for a brief moment, Taekwoon thought he could reach out and touch him.
“Did I wake you?” Hongbin whispered.
Taekwoon gave a sleepy smile, shaking his head. “It was about time I got up anyway. I’ve been getting too much sleep since I got here.”
Hongbin laughed, hand fluttering up to his mouth. “Funny, since you were too scared to even blink when you first came.”
Taekwoon rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small grin that tugged on his lips. He continued to stare at Hongbin, noticing how the ghost’s eyes lit up. Taekwoon had learned that Hongbin’s eyes looked so bright when he was-
“Excited?” Taekwoon asked. “Did something happen?”
Hongbin grinned widely before standing - floating - up. Motioning to Taekwoon, he disappeared into the hallway. “I found something while you were asleep.”
“You found..?”
“From my memories,” Hongbin said, urging Taekwoon to follow. He sounded breathless, glee in his voice. “I remembered something!”
They crossed the main yard, past rooms Taekwoon had never seen before, and behind a screen door to a small room. It was plain with only white walls and a window serving as decor. What made it special was the brown piano pushed up against the wall. Hongbin threw him a broad smile before making his way over to it.
“I think I used to play the piano,” Hongbin murmured. His fingers ghosted across the keys, lightly gracing the black and white wood without ever leaving a mark.
“Used to?” Taekwoon moved closer, blowing away some dust before idly tapping the keys. Slowly, a few notes turned into an old Yiruma song he hadn’t played since his high school days.
“Yeah,” Hongbin replied, staring over Taekwoon’s shoulder. “I don’t really remember anymore.”
Taekwoon moved over to make space on the small piano bench, motioning to Hongbin. “Then I’ll just have to help you.”
---
Taekwoon learned that Hongbin loved asking questions. “What does everyone wear, what kind of music do they play on the radio now, what do people do for fun?”
And Taekwoon quickly learned that he actually liked talking. He would spend all night talking about everything and nothing until he saw the first rays of daylight peeking over the hanok’s roof tiles and his voice was nothing but a scratchy croak. It was amazing, really, how things that had seemed so trivial before could be so precious to Hongbin. He clung to every word Taekwoon uttered.
“I think it’s a good thing I don’t remember,” Hongbin said one evening. His lips were pursed, fingers twiddling nervously with his hair, as he gave a tilted grin. “It’s easier to cope with this-” he pointed at his body “-when I don’t know what I’m missing out on.”
“What’s one thing you think you would miss out on?” Taekwoon asked, turning to face him.
“The food? The college life you always talk about, or maybe friends?” Hongbin laughed. “That Jaehwan sounds like a pretty fun guy.”
Taekwoon snorted, lying down on his back to stare up at the moon. He saw Hongbin lean down next to him, the ghost stretching his hands to the sky so that the stars shone right through his palms.
“I think I would miss sleeping the most though,” Hongbin said a few moments later. Taekwoon glanced over at him.
“I mean, you can’t dream if you don’t sleep, right?” Hongbin grinned ruefully. “And I miss that- making up my own worlds, coping with the life I have right now- I think dreams would really help with that.”
“It’s not like you don’t exist,” Taekwoon said. “I can see you, after all.”
“Yeah,” Hongbin hummed in agreement. “I’m really thankful for that, you know. I know it’s silly to say this, but it feels exceptionally empty to be a ghost, and with no one to think you’re real, it’s been so hard.”
“Hongbin,” Taekwoon whispered. He paused when he saw the ghost’s face suddenly tremble, eyes wide and wet as he bit back that beautiful smile.
“My name,” Hongbin croaked out, tears sparkling as they flowed down his cheeks. “I haven’t heard someone call my name in so long…”
Taekwoon reached out, tracing the lines of where Hongbin’s face should be. And he hoped that for this moment -- this brief second in this world -- he could be enough for Hongbin.
---
He remembered more every day. Hongbin was slowly recovering his memories, and Taekwoon could tell by the tilt of his head, the squint of his eyes, the way Hongbin would stare off into the distance and suddenly things from his past would spring forth -- a letter from his elementary school teacher, a picture of his family, a piano book Hongbin had once treasured. It was slow, but Hongbin was remembering
(“I had a dog!” Hongbin exclaimed, holding up a blue collar.
“I was an only child!” he pointed to his family portraits.
“I studied music too!” he yelled as he waved sheets of Beethoven and Mozart.)
and Taekwoon didn’t know how to feel about it.
Taekwoon played the piano sometimes, on days when Hongbin was feeling particularly down. He seemed to like this one Park Hyo Shin piece the most, pouting so cutely - ghost can pout apparently - at him that Taekwoon really felt as though he could play it again and again if Hongbin just looked at him like that once more.
Taekwoon sat underneath the cherry tree with Hongbin sometimes, on days when Hongbin was in a good mood and the weather was particularly nice. The musky scent of the blossoms filled his head and when he leaned back, Taekwoon could almost pretend that he felt Hongbin’s back meet his own.
Taekwoon didn’t know how to feel about this all because Hongbin was starting to take over his world but Taekwoon still wanted to -- needed to -- leave. He had a life, friends, and family back in the real world. Taekwoon wanted to leave.
(Right?)
---
He figured out Hongbin’s death completely by accident. He had been skimming through Hongbin’s comic collection when halfway through a book, he found a folded note. It was tattered, crinkling under his fingers as Taekwoon tried to pry the delicate paper open. Tear marks stained the page but he could make out the characters enough to read
Father… I wish to leave… I’ll come back one day… please…
The sound of thunder, lightning and rain falling from the skies, a boy running across the roof--
“You fell,” Taekwoon murmured. Hongbin appeared in front of him, giving him a questioning glance before his gaze fell on the note. His eyes flickered, mouth parting in realization when suddenly, the room shifted. A younger Hongbin was strumming the guitar next to the window, light brown hair falling across his curved eyes, when a man burst in and began yelling. The walls twisted again, changing from yellow to white, and there was an older Hongbin, lying underneath his bed as he listened to CDs in secrecy. The scenery changed a final time to that rainy night. Hongbin strapped on a bag and his guitar, leaving behind a note on his bed, and then he scaled out the window and up to the roof.
“Oh god,” Hongbin whispered as he watched his memory dash across the wet roof tiles. A crash of lightning, a slip of the foot, and then he was sliding, tumbling, falling.
A sickening crunch.
“Oh god,” Hongbin repeated. The rain stopped. The room stopped spinning. Everything paused as Hongbin and Taekwoon just stared at each other.
---
“A freak accident,” Hongbin murmured. A foggy sunrise greeted them the next morning, dew dotting the grass in heavy droplets. “I ran away to study music and… a freak accident.”
Taekwoon lowered his head, wondering if closure always felt this empty.
“I guess this means you can leave now,” Hongbin added. As if on cue, the main hanok doors creaked open. Hongbin gave him a wry grin. “Leaving so soon.”
“What’ll happen to you?” Taekwoon asked.
“Who knows? Nothing really connects me to this world now… except you.” Taekwoon might have been seeing things or maybe the sun was playing tricks, but for a second he swore he saw a hint of pink appear across Hongbin’s translucent cheeks. “If you’re leaving, then maybe I’ll disappear as well. Cross over or something.”
“Do you have to leave?” Taekwoon could hear the plea in his voice but pressed on. “I could come visit every now and then.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Hongbin chuckled. He blinked rapidly, as if willing away his tears, before reaching out to him. “Thank you for everything.”
Taekwoon held his breath as Hongbin’s hand drew nearer, gasping when he felt a cool touch to his wrist. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, desperately reaching out for something he couldn’t hold.
“Forget about the dead, Taekwoon,” Hongbin grinned sadly. “You don’t belong here.”
Taekwoon felt something yank him away, a force push him out. As the hanok’s doors swung shut, he caught a glimpse of Hongbin’s smile.
---
A total of three hours had passed.
Time was relative in the “other” world, which meant everything had passed at a slower rate. In the real world, time had always seemed to go by quickly but now, it didn’t seem to matter. Days and hours passed meaninglessly when all Taekwoon sought was a face that didn’t exist.
“Hyung, you’ve been acting really weird,” Sanghyuk said one lunch. The crew had decided to set up an intervention and Sanghyuk had been nominated to start it. Behind him, Wonshik nudged the younger to continue. “We’ve never seen you this out of it before. You haven’t punched Jaehwan hyung at all this week and you even let Hakyeon hyung cling to you all lunch.”
“What he’s trying to say is,” Hakyeon interrupted, kicking Sanghyuk underneath the table. “Are things okay?”
Taekwoon blinked at them before staring down at his food. “I’ve just… lost something really important.”
“Well then, stop moping around and go find it,” Hakyeon huffed. “Just sitting here, all depressed like that, it’s only ruining the mood.” Taekwoon looked up to see Jaehwan and Wonshik nodding in agreement.
“It’s not that simple,” Taekwoon replied. “I would have to leave and it’s not right to-”
“If it’s that important, then it must be worth it,” Sanghyuk spoke up. He gave Taekwoon a wide smile. “Right, hyung?”
Taekwoon thought of glowing sunsets and shimmering skin, of a soothing voice and full laughter -- of a beautiful smile that made him ache and want with all his heart.
“Right,” Taekwoon replied.
---
Sometimes, Taekwoon really liked his friends.
As he stood in front of the abandoned hanok, warning tapes and demolition signs plastered across the rotting gate, Taekwoon smiled as he recalled the day he met Cha Hakyeon and his annoying crew.
Because if not for loud-mouthed Kim Wonshik and his stupid idea about visiting haunted houses, Taekwoon wouldn’t be standing here.
The gate creaked when he gently pushed it open. Today was sunny, which meant it was easy to see inside. A light breeze blew cherry blossom petals across the courtyard.
Because if not for bratty Han Sanghyuk and his dare to enter this "other" world, Taekwoon wouldn’t have met someone so wonderful. He was pretty sure this was how most horror films began -- a stupid dare by stupid friends that lead to a stupid decision. But then again, maybe that was also how some love stories began. Hell. Sometimes, Taekwoon really liked his friends.
Sucking in a deep breath, he walked inside. And he closed the door behind him.