Turtle/Pear: A Kame Drabble Compilation [1/4]
Title: Turtle/Pear [1/4]
Author: momo (omoshiroina)
Pairing: Various JE Boys/Kame
Genre: Various
Rating: PG
Summary: A series of unrelated drabbles all featuring Kame in some way or form.
Notes: These are all taken from foreword's fabulous prompts. Thank you for trusting me with these, hon. ♥
1. In which Kame is a beautician
The days are long and hot. Customers are more often than not prickly and irritable; Koki had gotten a severe verbal beating from a plump old maid when the polish had wandered a millimeter away from the nail. Ueda resorted to idly brushing the back of his mullet at odd times when he wasn't busy powdering a debutante's nose. Kame, though steadily growing anxious inside, tried to keep the atmosphere reasonably cheerful by humming a pop tune or two.
"That's so fake," Ueda remarked offhandedly, his eyes in Kame's direction though he was thumbing Koki's long, blond wig with the ends sticking out in odd angles.
"A haircut, huh?" Koki was saying over at the counter. "Go to the guy with the noodle hair over there and just tell him your specifications. Yeah, that one with the black nails."
Kame couldn't see the customer's face, only his hair. It was highlighted, slightly hardened, a tad dry, a few baby hairs escaping from the confines of the gel. Kame unconsciously wetted his lips - if there was one thing he learned from grooming people's hair, it was that people could be easily categorized from their hair type. Usually people with colored hair, one that was a bit dry from numerous coloring sessions, tended to be adventurous, carefree, willing to try anything atleast once.
"Hi," the customer said, approaching him with an almost calculated smile. "I'm just here for a trim."
Kame frowned slightly.
"Is there something wrong?" The man asked, blinking.
Kame waved his hand no, and gestured for him to sit down. As soon as he was seated, Kame's first task at hand was to simply feel his hair, running a hand over the tresses. "How long have you been coloring your hair?"
"Since I was a fifteen," he replied, chuckling sheepishly. "I'm twenty three now. I don't even know what my natural hair color is anymore."
"Mmm," Kame murmured. "Well, you might want to avail of our hot oil services after your trim. Your hair needs it. Uhm, anything else Mister..."
"Akanishi," he answered instantaneously.
"Akanishi," Kame echoed. "Would you like to avail of the hot oil service?"
He shrugged. "Sure," he said, turning his head back a bit to look at Kame seriously. "Can you curl my hair like this afterwards?"
"It's not very advisable, but we comply with the customer's wishes," Kame said, tossing his own curls over his shoulder. From the large mirror in front of both of them, Akanishi grinned at him.
"Your hair's really nice," he commented as Kame was snipping away at split ends.
"Thank you." Kame bit his lip when a cut veered an inch away from his target length. "It's the result of a hot oil treatment every two months."
"You really want to milk my money for all it's worth, don't you?" Akanishi laughed.
Kame snorted softly. "I assure you, sir--"
"Call me Jin. 'Sir' makes me feel so old." Akanishi, grown man that he was, could definitely pout like a five year old.
"...Jin," Kame said hesitantly after a long moment.
"Some people cut and style their hair a different way to get rid of bad memories," Jin started to say. Kame's eyes lifted every so often to gaze into the mirror at Jin's sincere face. "I guess with every lock of hair that falls the past falls with it."
"You must be some sort of a poet," Kame replied, fluffing away the stray hairs on Jin's neck.
"Songwriter, actually." Jin smiled a smile that makes Kame think of songs about pot and having lots of drunken sex. "And I think I've just found a new subject."
Kame thought that the hair pooling around their feet, the past spread out on the floor, must be what Jin's talking about. Then Jin's hand was heavy on the metal scissors, crawling up to his knuckles, and he then thinks that he is wrong.
2. In which Kame and Koki are in a dressing room together
"Why does this keep happening to me? First with Jin, then with Pi, and now you. Why, why, why." Kame's face was buried in his hands. Koki doesn't know whether to reach out and pat him on the shoulder or envelop him into a full-blown hug. Maybe neither would suffice. Maybe if he did both, Kame would do something rash, like cry or punch him in the face. Kame was emotional like that.
"You mean you always get shoved into a dressing room with Jin and Pi?"
Kame shot Koki a withering look. "No. I always get mistaken for Jin or Pi's girlfriend."
Koki laughed, though it dies down a bit after Kame's glare intensified. "The saleswomen must be AkaKame fans then?" Koki can't fault the girls, really. Kame really did look awfully not manly in the bug shades he wore.
"Don't start," Kame growled, snatching the Dolce and Gabanna underwear away from Koki's hands.
"Hey!" Koki grabbed at the underwear, but Kame was faster. "I've already tried those on, you know!"
Kame's eyes widened. "...What?"
Koki nodded resolutely. "Yeah."
"You actually tried these on? And they fit?" Kame stretched the material, voice rising in pitch.
"Yep," Koki said cheerfully. "I didn't know you actually cared about my size down there, Kazu-chan--"
Kame squeaked, and threw the underwear in his face. When Koki can see something besides dark thread again, Kame was gone from the cramped cubicle. He laughed, and stretched the garter around his neck.
"Fits perfectly." He grinned, moving the curtain aside and slinging an arm over Kame's stiff, fur-covered shoulders.
3. In which Kame is sick
When Jin made that kind of face, Kame can't bear to break his heart. So instead he settled for asking in the gentlest tone he could muster what the hell Jin was doing bringing boxes upon boxes of pears in his apartment.
"It's the cure, Kame!" Jin told him brightly.
"For what?" Kame asked, though it came out as an awkward croak. "It's just a cold--"
"Don't underestimate your sickness!" Jin shrieked, as if Kame had AIDS and was going to die in a minute. "A little bird told me you were suffering from a lack of fruits. It's those chicken wings you keep eating," Jin said, and Kame briefly contemplated throwing him out the window. "And since a part of your name means pear, the road to recovery means eating lots of pears."
"A little bird." Kame made a mental note to call a little pink bird with a peculiar set of breasts later.
"Uh-huh." Jin nodded vigorously. "I think a Chinsese proverb said something about names and meanings and how it leads to instant recovery."
"...Right." Kame shook his head, pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you mind getting out of my apartment now?"
"B-but Kame," Jin whined, arms flapping about.
"I need to rest if you want me back at work tomorrow," Kame said, crossing his arms.
"But you need to eat the pears first," Jin demanded. "You can't go to bed without eating atleast 10 pears."
"What. Are you on some kind of hallucinogenic drugs, Akanishi?"
"Kame, I'm only doing this out of love--mmph."
Kame looked at Jin's pear stuffed mouth in smug satisfaction. Then Jin dropped his gaze to the floor, lips still wrapped around the pear, looking for all purposes rejected and forlorn. It reminded Kame of a stuffed bear he used to have as a kid - or was it a stuffed pig?
He sighed. "Alright, give me one and I'll eat it before I go to bed."
Jin looked absolutely delighted. He took the pear from his mouth and handed it to Kame, who looked horrified at the sight of a slight wet patch on a quarter of the pear.
"I can't eat that," Kame stated plainly.
"Aw, c'mon! It's just me. Look, I'll take a bite, then you can bite in next." Ignoring Kame's look of alarm, Jin bit into the pear and chewed loudly. "See? You can still eat the pear. Might even taste better now."
"If I eat it, will you shut up?" Kame asked, looking warily at the pear.
Jin blinked, and nodded. Kame took the fruit, twisted it around until he found the spot where Jin's bite was farthest, and took a piece into his mouth.
"However you look at it," Jin said thoughtfully as Kame swallowed, "it's like we kissed through the pear, ne?"
Kame sneezed.
4. In which Kame, Pi and Jin are stuck in a boat for hours
"You two," Kame began, wrapping both arms around his middle, "are the worst."
Pi's nose scrunched up, and Jin laughed lightly. "It's why you love us, ne?"
"Shut up." Kame's teeth chattered; he was starting to lose feeling in his butt. "We've been sitting here for hours." An obvious statement, but Kame felt the need to reiterate it over and over as little revenge for what the two forced him into doing, which is agreeing to the little boating trip in the first place.
"I could swim and carry you on my back," Jin suggested, inching closer to Kame and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"Stupid," Pi said, crawling on his hands and knees and sitting in between Kame's legs. "You're too fat. You'd sink in less than thirty seconds and Kame's gonna drown with you."
"I'm not fat, you pig," Jin retorted, scowling. His hand started to rub little circles on Kame's back.
"Right, and Kame's not cold and shivering." Pi ran his hand up and down Kame's pant leg. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Kame answered, though his complexion said otherwise.
"If worse comes to worst, we can just eat Jin." Pi leant his cheek on Kame's thigh.
"Or maybe we can chop off Pi's boobs," Jin said mock acidly, his hand on Kame's neck.
"Why did I ever get stuck with you two." Kame's breath fogged as his legs started to close around Pi's form. He allowed himself to relax as Jin's fingers worked their warm magic on his neck. The boat rocked dangerously from the imbalance.
"Destiny," Pi chirped, and hiccuped.
---
notes: there will be 6 drabbles next time to make up for the shortness of it all. :((
Author: momo (omoshiroina)
Pairing: Various JE Boys/Kame
Genre: Various
Rating: PG
Summary: A series of unrelated drabbles all featuring Kame in some way or form.
Notes: These are all taken from foreword's fabulous prompts. Thank you for trusting me with these, hon. ♥
1. In which Kame is a beautician
The days are long and hot. Customers are more often than not prickly and irritable; Koki had gotten a severe verbal beating from a plump old maid when the polish had wandered a millimeter away from the nail. Ueda resorted to idly brushing the back of his mullet at odd times when he wasn't busy powdering a debutante's nose. Kame, though steadily growing anxious inside, tried to keep the atmosphere reasonably cheerful by humming a pop tune or two.
"That's so fake," Ueda remarked offhandedly, his eyes in Kame's direction though he was thumbing Koki's long, blond wig with the ends sticking out in odd angles.
"A haircut, huh?" Koki was saying over at the counter. "Go to the guy with the noodle hair over there and just tell him your specifications. Yeah, that one with the black nails."
Kame couldn't see the customer's face, only his hair. It was highlighted, slightly hardened, a tad dry, a few baby hairs escaping from the confines of the gel. Kame unconsciously wetted his lips - if there was one thing he learned from grooming people's hair, it was that people could be easily categorized from their hair type. Usually people with colored hair, one that was a bit dry from numerous coloring sessions, tended to be adventurous, carefree, willing to try anything atleast once.
"Hi," the customer said, approaching him with an almost calculated smile. "I'm just here for a trim."
Kame frowned slightly.
"Is there something wrong?" The man asked, blinking.
Kame waved his hand no, and gestured for him to sit down. As soon as he was seated, Kame's first task at hand was to simply feel his hair, running a hand over the tresses. "How long have you been coloring your hair?"
"Since I was a fifteen," he replied, chuckling sheepishly. "I'm twenty three now. I don't even know what my natural hair color is anymore."
"Mmm," Kame murmured. "Well, you might want to avail of our hot oil services after your trim. Your hair needs it. Uhm, anything else Mister..."
"Akanishi," he answered instantaneously.
"Akanishi," Kame echoed. "Would you like to avail of the hot oil service?"
He shrugged. "Sure," he said, turning his head back a bit to look at Kame seriously. "Can you curl my hair like this afterwards?"
"It's not very advisable, but we comply with the customer's wishes," Kame said, tossing his own curls over his shoulder. From the large mirror in front of both of them, Akanishi grinned at him.
"Your hair's really nice," he commented as Kame was snipping away at split ends.
"Thank you." Kame bit his lip when a cut veered an inch away from his target length. "It's the result of a hot oil treatment every two months."
"You really want to milk my money for all it's worth, don't you?" Akanishi laughed.
Kame snorted softly. "I assure you, sir--"
"Call me Jin. 'Sir' makes me feel so old." Akanishi, grown man that he was, could definitely pout like a five year old.
"...Jin," Kame said hesitantly after a long moment.
"Some people cut and style their hair a different way to get rid of bad memories," Jin started to say. Kame's eyes lifted every so often to gaze into the mirror at Jin's sincere face. "I guess with every lock of hair that falls the past falls with it."
"You must be some sort of a poet," Kame replied, fluffing away the stray hairs on Jin's neck.
"Songwriter, actually." Jin smiled a smile that makes Kame think of songs about pot and having lots of drunken sex. "And I think I've just found a new subject."
Kame thought that the hair pooling around their feet, the past spread out on the floor, must be what Jin's talking about. Then Jin's hand was heavy on the metal scissors, crawling up to his knuckles, and he then thinks that he is wrong.
2. In which Kame and Koki are in a dressing room together
"Why does this keep happening to me? First with Jin, then with Pi, and now you. Why, why, why." Kame's face was buried in his hands. Koki doesn't know whether to reach out and pat him on the shoulder or envelop him into a full-blown hug. Maybe neither would suffice. Maybe if he did both, Kame would do something rash, like cry or punch him in the face. Kame was emotional like that.
"You mean you always get shoved into a dressing room with Jin and Pi?"
Kame shot Koki a withering look. "No. I always get mistaken for Jin or Pi's girlfriend."
Koki laughed, though it dies down a bit after Kame's glare intensified. "The saleswomen must be AkaKame fans then?" Koki can't fault the girls, really. Kame really did look awfully not manly in the bug shades he wore.
"Don't start," Kame growled, snatching the Dolce and Gabanna underwear away from Koki's hands.
"Hey!" Koki grabbed at the underwear, but Kame was faster. "I've already tried those on, you know!"
Kame's eyes widened. "...What?"
Koki nodded resolutely. "Yeah."
"You actually tried these on? And they fit?" Kame stretched the material, voice rising in pitch.
"Yep," Koki said cheerfully. "I didn't know you actually cared about my size down there, Kazu-chan--"
Kame squeaked, and threw the underwear in his face. When Koki can see something besides dark thread again, Kame was gone from the cramped cubicle. He laughed, and stretched the garter around his neck.
"Fits perfectly." He grinned, moving the curtain aside and slinging an arm over Kame's stiff, fur-covered shoulders.
3. In which Kame is sick
When Jin made that kind of face, Kame can't bear to break his heart. So instead he settled for asking in the gentlest tone he could muster what the hell Jin was doing bringing boxes upon boxes of pears in his apartment.
"It's the cure, Kame!" Jin told him brightly.
"For what?" Kame asked, though it came out as an awkward croak. "It's just a cold--"
"Don't underestimate your sickness!" Jin shrieked, as if Kame had AIDS and was going to die in a minute. "A little bird told me you were suffering from a lack of fruits. It's those chicken wings you keep eating," Jin said, and Kame briefly contemplated throwing him out the window. "And since a part of your name means pear, the road to recovery means eating lots of pears."
"A little bird." Kame made a mental note to call a little pink bird with a peculiar set of breasts later.
"Uh-huh." Jin nodded vigorously. "I think a Chinsese proverb said something about names and meanings and how it leads to instant recovery."
"...Right." Kame shook his head, pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you mind getting out of my apartment now?"
"B-but Kame," Jin whined, arms flapping about.
"I need to rest if you want me back at work tomorrow," Kame said, crossing his arms.
"But you need to eat the pears first," Jin demanded. "You can't go to bed without eating atleast 10 pears."
"What. Are you on some kind of hallucinogenic drugs, Akanishi?"
"Kame, I'm only doing this out of love--mmph."
Kame looked at Jin's pear stuffed mouth in smug satisfaction. Then Jin dropped his gaze to the floor, lips still wrapped around the pear, looking for all purposes rejected and forlorn. It reminded Kame of a stuffed bear he used to have as a kid - or was it a stuffed pig?
He sighed. "Alright, give me one and I'll eat it before I go to bed."
Jin looked absolutely delighted. He took the pear from his mouth and handed it to Kame, who looked horrified at the sight of a slight wet patch on a quarter of the pear.
"I can't eat that," Kame stated plainly.
"Aw, c'mon! It's just me. Look, I'll take a bite, then you can bite in next." Ignoring Kame's look of alarm, Jin bit into the pear and chewed loudly. "See? You can still eat the pear. Might even taste better now."
"If I eat it, will you shut up?" Kame asked, looking warily at the pear.
Jin blinked, and nodded. Kame took the fruit, twisted it around until he found the spot where Jin's bite was farthest, and took a piece into his mouth.
"However you look at it," Jin said thoughtfully as Kame swallowed, "it's like we kissed through the pear, ne?"
Kame sneezed.
4. In which Kame, Pi and Jin are stuck in a boat for hours
"You two," Kame began, wrapping both arms around his middle, "are the worst."
Pi's nose scrunched up, and Jin laughed lightly. "It's why you love us, ne?"
"Shut up." Kame's teeth chattered; he was starting to lose feeling in his butt. "We've been sitting here for hours." An obvious statement, but Kame felt the need to reiterate it over and over as little revenge for what the two forced him into doing, which is agreeing to the little boating trip in the first place.
"I could swim and carry you on my back," Jin suggested, inching closer to Kame and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"Stupid," Pi said, crawling on his hands and knees and sitting in between Kame's legs. "You're too fat. You'd sink in less than thirty seconds and Kame's gonna drown with you."
"I'm not fat, you pig," Jin retorted, scowling. His hand started to rub little circles on Kame's back.
"Right, and Kame's not cold and shivering." Pi ran his hand up and down Kame's pant leg. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Kame answered, though his complexion said otherwise.
"If worse comes to worst, we can just eat Jin." Pi leant his cheek on Kame's thigh.
"Or maybe we can chop off Pi's boobs," Jin said mock acidly, his hand on Kame's neck.
"Why did I ever get stuck with you two." Kame's breath fogged as his legs started to close around Pi's form. He allowed himself to relax as Jin's fingers worked their warm magic on his neck. The boat rocked dangerously from the imbalance.
"Destiny," Pi chirped, and hiccuped.
---
notes: there will be 6 drabbles next time to make up for the shortness of it all. :((