(no subject)
While I was at Hume Lake there was an amazing speaker, Brad Bell, who spoke about relationships. He was so encouraging and I was hoping that maybe by me posting these notes that I took while he was speaking I might be able to help/encourage some of you out there. :-D
Song of Songs Notes
1:2 They are reflecting on how they met
Godly woman:
affirm character first in beauty
looks vs. character
CHARACTER, NOT LOOKS!
definition of a date: a one time event with no expectations, not physical, in a public place, non commitment, non escalating.
1:1-8 attracting together.. like eachother's character
Proverbs 18:1- be careful with alone time
1:9 they spend time together
a healthy relationship gives life (no, I don't mean a baby here, haha)
different levels of a relationship:
Build a relationship on:
They start to "court" 2:7-2:8
courting consists of:
Q. How do you know when you are ready for a relationship?
A. when there are a couple things etched in stone
TIME + COMMUNICATION = RELATIONAL DEPTH
relationships should give life
Solomon was kind, affirming, and gentle.
Are you really willing to work hard and catch the "foxes" that would hinder your relationship from being God's best? (by foxes, I'm trying to say problems and things that will harm the relationship)
2:16- she likes his response to her fears
when she tries to get physical, or rush things along Solomon basically responds with "right response, wrong time" He won't allow passion to affect the longevity of the relationship. He has never laid a hand on her up to this point.
if you pray, God will provide!
7 Steps of a Relationhip (most of these are meant for the guy)
4:1 Solomons picture of bridal chamber, them enjoying one another in marriage (tee hee)
4:12-15 reflects on their chastity
4:16 she speaks for the first time
5:1 they have "consumated" the marriage (anybody getting uncomfortable?)
concerning conflict
If you win the fight, you lose the marriage
5:2 there's the first conflict in the marraige
5:4 he has not left angry, he 'leaves a sweet smelling perfume' and does not react in anger
God will chilel away at the callousness of our own hearts
Be sure to affirm husband, or affirmation may come from other people
5:10-16 the woman is arguing with her emotions
Conflict--
7:6-9
7:10 in a marriage, physical intimacy is nexessary, it creates oneness. This may Satan cannot tempt you w/ physical intimacy outside of marriage
Desire is used three times throughout the whole Bible (I'm not sure which translation the speaker uses though, possibly NIV?)
7:11 she suggests a getaway -> sidenote: mandrakes were considered an aphrodesiac
Remeber newness, good memories
8:4 here we see the "good feelings, bad time" reaction again
4 observations of marriage
Many people cease to do what they used to do when they fell in love
Song of Songs Notes
1:2 They are reflecting on how they met
- Find a guy with good character
- only thing worse than being single and wishing you are married is being married and wishing you were single
Godly woman:
- she is submissive- handles authority well
- consider whether she is controlling or jealous
- Beauty shouldn't be merely external, but internal
- Proverbs 31 woman
affirm character first in beauty
looks vs. character
- looks will fade
- looks are decieving
- character cancels out looks
CHARACTER, NOT LOOKS!
definition of a date: a one time event with no expectations, not physical, in a public place, non commitment, non escalating.
1:1-8 attracting together.. like eachother's character
Proverbs 18:1- be careful with alone time
1:9 they spend time together
a healthy relationship gives life (no, I don't mean a baby here, haha)
different levels of a relationship:
- pleasentries
- share more
- talking about meaningful things
Build a relationship on:
- communication
- trust
- affirmation
- nobility
- honor
- righteousness
- have a man who leads
They start to "court" 2:7-2:8
courting consists of:
- clarity
- communication
- understanding
Q. How do you know when you are ready for a relationship?
A. when there are a couple things etched in stone
- personal Godliness (you can walk with God alone)
- standards of the type of person you want to be with
- Have your morality set
- Have finances in order
- Emotionally ready!
TIME + COMMUNICATION = RELATIONAL DEPTH
relationships should give life
Solomon was kind, affirming, and gentle.
Are you really willing to work hard and catch the "foxes" that would hinder your relationship from being God's best? (by foxes, I'm trying to say problems and things that will harm the relationship)
2:16- she likes his response to her fears
when she tries to get physical, or rush things along Solomon basically responds with "right response, wrong time" He won't allow passion to affect the longevity of the relationship. He has never laid a hand on her up to this point.
if you pray, God will provide!
7 Steps of a Relationhip (most of these are meant for the guy)
- observation- Godliness over a period of time, not a point
- edification- Does it build up (encourage), do you make eachother better?
- Declaration of Intentions (saying how you feel about the other person)
- Declaration of Intentions (for exclusiveness)
- Discovery- can you "catch the foxes" in your relationship
- Declaration of Intentions (moving towards marriage
- Engagement- intentional fine tuning, not discovering
4:1 Solomons picture of bridal chamber, them enjoying one another in marriage (tee hee)
4:12-15 reflects on their chastity
4:16 she speaks for the first time
5:1 they have "consumated" the marriage (anybody getting uncomfortable?)
concerning conflict
If you win the fight, you lose the marriage
5:2 there's the first conflict in the marraige
5:4 he has not left angry, he 'leaves a sweet smelling perfume' and does not react in anger
God will chilel away at the callousness of our own hearts
- don't nag, clam up, be cautious of passive aggressiveness
Be sure to affirm husband, or affirmation may come from other people
5:10-16 the woman is arguing with her emotions
- she humbly seeks out reconciliation
- He affirms her- uses same language as on the wedding night
- complete and utter restoration
Conflict--
- respond- don't react
- don't keep score
- choose your words wisely- speak softly
- get resolution together- protect onesness
- don't be historical when fighting
- confess often
- establish relational community
- become a student of your spouse
- cultiveat a vibrant relationship with God!
7:6-9
- passionate relationship only gets more passionate
- more satisflying it can be over time
7:10 in a marriage, physical intimacy is nexessary, it creates oneness. This may Satan cannot tempt you w/ physical intimacy outside of marriage
Desire is used three times throughout the whole Bible (I'm not sure which translation the speaker uses though, possibly NIV?)
- Genesis 3
- Genesis 4
- Song of Songs 7:10
7:11 she suggests a getaway -> sidenote: mandrakes were considered an aphrodesiac
Remeber newness, good memories
8:4 here we see the "good feelings, bad time" reaction again
4 observations of marriage
- allow love to deepen- love will not always lookk or feel the same over time, it's a commitment. allow your love to change!
- we have to schedule time to be together! carve out that time
- chedule regular getaways, not just time, but getaways.
- love dances between old and new, remember the excitement of new love
Many people cease to do what they used to do when they fell in love