58.2 - Discuss a feeling that scares you, and explain why
Ryan does not, will not admit this, but the first time he stepped on a skateboard, he spent the first ten minutes clinging to a lightpost before he even put both feet on the board.
The sensation of the smooth wheels on the cement, under his foot, wobbling and slipping back and forth, like they were taunting him, teasing him, "any second we can take control and you'll be helpless to stop us", was the most terrifying thing he'd felt in a long time.
That's why he didn't ride bikes, didn't play sports, didn't deviate too much from his routine, didn't stray too far away from what was familiar and safe. Brakes failed, accidents happened, havoc meant danger, new things meant pain. Underneath it all, he's cautious and methodical about absolutely everything.
That's why he played piano, read the same books over and over, woke up and made breakfast at 7:13 every morning, spent hours and hours with people he knew. The keys yielded to his fingertips, the stories all had happy endings, being useful meant being loved, being known meant being safe. And if he was safe and loved, he didn't think about how scared he was.
One of these days, it'll change, is already changing. Routine gives way to chaos and ketchup and mustard become missiles in the bar room. Caution gives way to curiosity and he's in Texas or England, buying hats and helmets. Fear gives way to courage and he's kissing her before he can talk himself out of it.
Tiny little things are reminding him that he's in control of his life and are making him forget being grabbed and shoved and manipulated into believing he isn't.
Ryan King
Original Character
The sensation of the smooth wheels on the cement, under his foot, wobbling and slipping back and forth, like they were taunting him, teasing him, "any second we can take control and you'll be helpless to stop us", was the most terrifying thing he'd felt in a long time.
That's why he didn't ride bikes, didn't play sports, didn't deviate too much from his routine, didn't stray too far away from what was familiar and safe. Brakes failed, accidents happened, havoc meant danger, new things meant pain. Underneath it all, he's cautious and methodical about absolutely everything.
That's why he played piano, read the same books over and over, woke up and made breakfast at 7:13 every morning, spent hours and hours with people he knew. The keys yielded to his fingertips, the stories all had happy endings, being useful meant being loved, being known meant being safe. And if he was safe and loved, he didn't think about how scared he was.
One of these days, it'll change, is already changing. Routine gives way to chaos and ketchup and mustard become missiles in the bar room. Caution gives way to curiosity and he's in Texas or England, buying hats and helmets. Fear gives way to courage and he's kissing her before he can talk himself out of it.
Tiny little things are reminding him that he's in control of his life and are making him forget being grabbed and shoved and manipulated into believing he isn't.
Ryan King
Original Character