Comments | onceapolytyto: Superheroes

onceapolytyto

Superheroes

Jun 01, 2006 18:24

I've started my summer project (one of many). This is scene 1 of a post-super-heroic narrative poem that I'm writing. It does not have a title, as yet, and there are a few lines that i would rather have be picture-words than words... i think you'll know which when you come to them. Your feedback is, as always, appreciated ( Read more... )

Comments 4

explodedbrain June 1 2006, 23:40:42 UTC

"(o muse i ask a dozen heros' strength)"
Did you mean: heroes'?

I typically can't comment on poetry that isn't prose poetry, but I'd like to see the picture book version some time!

onceapolytyto June 2 2006, 22:22:07 UTC

I spelled it that way due to... metrical concerns! Yes, metrical. It's a special meter where you have to... make up a spelling every now and then.

thecraftybitch June 2 2006, 03:21:41 UTC

This probably won't bore me when I turn on my brain again. Tomorrow.

thecraftybitch June 2 2006, 13:56:34 UTC

See? I told you I would like it; I just had to have a brain again. I've been sitting here, waiting for comprehension to hit, and it finally did.

Heroes'

Shouldn't never would repent be would never repent? Isn't that a helper verb or something? There's probably a better term than that, but I don't currently know it. The meaning sort of changes a little by changing the order...

My favorite stanza is:
meant nuts to them.
They shot the shit,
and call'd 'im "friend,"
and wouldn't hit,

Nice shape, too; I like shaped text.