In a recent Secrets Monday I posted that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She just had her first chemo infusion, and I went with her. After seeing how normal and strong the other chemo patients looked in the doctor's office that day and after doing some research on breast cancer treatment, I think Mom will be alright, too.
Thank you to the people who encouraged me. I'm still scared, but I feel hopeful.
Also, Mom says she appreciates me volunteering to be there and calling to make sure she's alright. We haven't been all that close in recent years, and I don't have any magical thoughts about us suddenly becoming close because of this, but I am glad to be there for her.
We recently moved house so that my other half could take a work opportunity. I'm sure I'll learn to love the area eventually, but right now I really just want to go home.
My new apartment is driving me crazy. I'm scared I have bedbugs which in NYC will turn you into a social pariah. My loud neighbors are driving me insane and all this other stuff is pushing me over the edge and I know when I write it out it doesn't sound like much, but I'm going crazy over it. Like insane for the first time in about 15 years and it's scaring me, because I seriously do not normally feel/act this way.
Speaking for myself only - the reason I didn't comment anonymously both above and regarding the original comment in last month's secret's monday referenced, is because if the OP wants to reach out to someone directly who is dealing with cancer in their family, there's no worry about penetrating the veil of mystery - you know who I am.
Friends have, I am guessing, recently started opening up their relationship. I find I am tremendously envious that people who already have an awesome relationship should now want (and get) MORE awesome relationships, jealous of time and attention given to new people, and a bit put off by PDA which, after a youth in which I was terribly guilty of it myself, I have come to find quite distasteful.
Obviously the above is almost entirely firmly in the "my issues" camp.
I do feel a bit annoyed, though, that the PDA and the immense amount of time spent with new special friends is happening without any explanation to those close to them. It seems only polite to say "we're trying a new thing; we're not ignoring you other friends or cheating on each other."
Perhaps you're not aware of this (I'm going to guess you're not), but the way you've phrased this makes it seem as if your friends need to fill out a Change of Status form with you. I can see why the eyebrows would get raised, but opening relationships is something that gets frowned upon a lot in even the best of circumstances. There may have been cues they picked up from you that you wouldn't be comfortable discussing it, but at the same time they're not in a place where they want to keep it closeted, as it were.
If it's just started, I'd give it a bit. But if it's been a few months, why not say to one of them, during a comfortable chat, "So, I'm really curious because it's playing out right in front of me... are you guys opening things up here, or is there some sort of confidence that you're expecting me to keep from someone else?"
Open/poly relationships are not even remotely uncommon in our context, and are considered valid relationship alternatives by pretty much everyone including me, so.
Perhaps that's why they didn't tell you, because it seems it's implied?
I do get the moment of oh-really-you-get-that-too though. Being the single person out among your paired friends is hard enough. This seems like compound no fun.
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Thank you to the people who encouraged me. I'm still scared, but I feel hopeful.
Also, Mom says she appreciates me volunteering to be there and calling to make sure she's alright. We haven't been all that close in recent years, and I don't have any magical thoughts about us suddenly becoming close because of this, but I am glad to be there for her.
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My dad was just diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer yesterday...I hope I can be as strong for him as you are for you mom!
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I really, really want to go home.
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Obviously the above is almost entirely firmly in the "my issues" camp.
I do feel a bit annoyed, though, that the PDA and the immense amount of time spent with new special friends is happening without any explanation to those close to them. It seems only polite to say "we're trying a new thing; we're not ignoring you other friends or cheating on each other."
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If it's just started, I'd give it a bit. But if it's been a few months, why not say to one of them, during a comfortable chat, "So, I'm really curious because it's playing out right in front of me... are you guys opening things up here, or is there some sort of confidence that you're expecting me to keep from someone else?"
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I do get the moment of oh-really-you-get-that-too though. Being the single person out among your paired friends is hard enough. This seems like compound no fun.
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