C-c-c-concrit

[mykindasong]

On this lovely Spring day (we hope it is, anyway) we welcome you to the...

The Johnny's Fanfiction Concrit Meme
THIS is where you get to tell me about my writing.♥ Comment for yourself only. Do not make threads for other people

Comments

[yumiko_okahawa]

yumiko_okahawa @ green_feelings

Any kind of feedback is very much appreaciated :)

[yumiko_okahawa]

you're amazing not need to change anything, by the way you know what happen to nanalytama- ainocommand her fics where good too, but the community is now empty, and I thought you were her friend, If not I'm sorry for asking this

[yumiko_okahawa]

Thank you for your kind feedback. I am afraid I have a lot to improve, but thanks :)

About nana... yes, actually, I am friends with her, but I haven't received an answer from her in a long while. I know she used to have a health issue, I am afraid this is what keeps her from LJ. But I don't know for sure.

[yumiko_okahawa]

i hadn't read anything by you so i went to check out your archive. i ended up finding your tegokame AND SQUEALED VERY, VERY LOUDLY AND GOT REALLY EXCITED CAUSE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE LIKES THIS and i'm sure i just gave myself away, but anyway! i thought i would try and see if i could give you some feedback. :) so i read "take good care". your english is technically good so you don't need to worry much about the strength of your language; if you do get a beta (or have one), there are only a few things that aren't really errors so much as perhaps places it could be tightened a bit, but that's not necessary and not saying that it is not good as it is. :)

i think you could check things in your sentences to work on flow, which i think would really help your stories come together and be richer. for instance, this sentence: No one was there yet, so he’d take the left minutes to enjoy the calmness, the silence and sleep off the stress. could be checked for parallelism. basically, when you put three actions in a list like this, they should be in

[yumiko_okahawa]

Hey there

[yumiko_okahawa]

Hi! I love your Make You Mine fic so much! XD

[yumiko_okahawa]

Thank you ♥ I am very happy you enjoy it so much! That's most important to me - that you enjoy what you read! :)

[yumiko_okahawa]

I love EVERYTHING about your fics ♥

[yumiko_okahawa]

*laugh* Oh my! Thank you so much, I am happy you enjoy them so much ♥ Thank you!

[yumiko_okahawa]

hi! fade into the background was my introduction to your writing. I really love that fic! it was one of the akame fics that really got me hooked on that pairing. I just had to read everything you write! I was blown away with One Petal! the way you interpreted and wrote about the theme "fairy tale" is amazing for me! It's one of my absolute favorite akame one-shot! And your new fic, Make You Mine, is also very promising! I like the suspense you're building in that story. :)

I like the way you tell a story, the way you use simple words that convey so many emotions. when I'm reading your fics, it's like I'm watching a movie, I sometimes even stop and re-read some of the lines because they're just that good! I also love that you write stories that are not that far-fetched, the emotions are very realistic that's why I'm so drawn to the characters!

I also can see that you're improving each time. Every new fic you introduce shows your maturity as a writer. Keep up the good work!

I'll be honest, I'm one of your silent shy readers, I'm

[yumiko_okahawa]

Hey :)

Aw! I am always happy to hear someone say they like Fade into the Background. It's so dear to me, although it definitely needs some correction and proper beta-reading. *lol* But, as the first multichap I ever wrote, it really grew so dear to me. Thank you for liking it so much ♥
And One Petal, too *laugh* Usually, people like Kamen best or Seven Days. It somehow makes me happy you chose to mention those that are less popular. because, One Petal has a special meaning to me. I put a lot of personal emotion and experience into it and I chose the fairy tale used for the fic on a very personal purpose. Thanks for saying you enjoyed it so much

[yumiko_okahawa]

Oh okay, I am doing this:)
Where to begin? First of all, I've always been a fan of your fics, I'd already left tons of comments on your fics and concrit memes that can prove that, so you have to believe it now (since you don't know who I am)
The flow of your fics and realism in characterization and plot has always been fascinating, just like the effort you put in everything you write. And oh, the atmosphere. Yup, that. It's absolutely wonderful...
Okay, but this is a concrit meme and I actually came up with something to criticize (although I'm not sure if I will succeed). I'm currently reading Make You Mine, I fell behind with it and now I'm somewhere around Chapter 13. I was going to write this in my comment on the last chapter but I don't trust myself to remember it later so I'm going to tell you that now.
The fic is amazing as usual, there is everything I always loved about your writing, the flow, the characterization, the thing that I just can't not read it until there is anything to read. However, somewhere between chapter 10 and

[yumiko_okahawa]

Seriously, I would love to know who you are. As you keep showering me with so many compliments and kind words and I have a feeling I am not able to ever - EVER - pay back all the kindness or let you know in any possible way how happy I am for your comments

[yumiko_okahawa]

I think you will know very soon who I am

[yumiko_okahawa]

Really? Eh, I feel dumb for not knowing now!!

I am always late in replying to comments (just like now, so you might just never read this ~_~) So, I am sorry should any of your comments be left unreplied!

haha, I know that. But overall, in all the comments you ever left, you always have such nice words for me and that's, what I say "thank you" for :)

Hm, I don't think you sound arrogant or anything. It's good to be picky and have standards, or even just a special taste. So, I am, of course, happy to know my writing hits your taste :) It makes me very happy! (And just gives me a little pressure, as I hope I will always be able to keep up to your expections *lol*)

Okay, I kept it short this time! ;)

Thank you, sweetheart ♥

[yumiko_okahawa]

I forgot to mention: I am sorry for making you cry uncountable times. I hope, so far, all endings could make up for it. If not... Let me know how I could make up for it!