Take a Chance
Title: Take a Chance (1/2)
Author: onecasillas
Pairing: Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Steven was willing to do anything to get the prettiest girl in school to like him. Anything.
Word count: 3681
A/N: My fics are friends locked, but I'll add anyone who asks.
Steven wasn't very sure why he'd done it. Sure, he'd heard a couple of rumors that she was fond of people like that, but he'd never gone much far to get a girl, not when there were at least ten in his year alone who were dying to be with him. But maybe he hadn't been thinking properly, like one of those impulsive acts he then looked back to and regretted ever doing. Getting into fights and having his ass kicked. Drinking over his limit and trying to burn down the school. Telling the most bigmouthed girl that he was gay when he wasn't.
He was sure the word would spread all over the school, and yes, that was his plan. He was not very popular among the boys in his year, but girls seemed to be fascinated with him for a reason he couldn't quite understand, and a fresh rumor like this was bound to fly around in less than a day, breaking their fragile little hearts for at least an hour until they found another guy to be infatuated with.
He didn't mind the stares and whispers much. After all, there were just a couple of months left, and then, he'd never see any of these people again in his entire life. Except for Andrea, of course, if everything went as planned.
She was one of the prettiest girls in school, but she didn't know it, and that was what made her stand out from the rest. She didn't go around in short skirts, showing off her boobs and giggling every time a good-looking guy walked past. Instead, she was petite, had short, brown hair, and had one of the palest skins Steven had seen, which he preferred to the over-tanned girls that always waved at him during lunch. Andrea was fresh, and unique, and the few times that Steven had spoken to her had been enough to have him thinking about her more than he should.
He'd never seen her with a boyfriend. She had one or two girl friends inside school, but everytime Steven saw her at other places, like the park or the coffee shop near his house, she was always with a guy, laughing and talking and whatnot. At first he'd thought he had no chance. But then he'd heard from a few people, including her once, that all her best friends were gay guys, and so it had ocurred to him: he'd put out the word that he'd come out of the closet, hang out with her daily, and then confess to her that he was starting to grow feelings for her.
It was going to work. It had to.
Steven noticed the change as soon as he walked into the cafeteria. No giggles were heard, no waving, and the few girls who turned around to look at him had either a disgusted or a disappointed look in their faces. No girl batted fake eyelashes at him, and he was grateful for it.
Andrea motioned him over from her table. She was sitting alone. It's going to work, Steven thought, and forced back the smile that was threatening to show in his face. He walked over to her and sat on the opposite chair so that he could look at her all he wanted to.
"I'm glad you finally came out," she said, and then smiled. "I'd been waiting for you to do it since we first talked."
Steven choked on his apple juice. "R-Really?"
"Yeah. It was quite obvious, in my opinion. There's this whole vibe around you. I wonder why nobody else noticed before this," and then added after a small pause, "I guess you were lucky."
"I... guess so, yeah."
Steven could feel something weird growing inside him, a combination of anger and shame. Since when did he have a fucking gay vibe around him? He couldn't believe it, he'd been walking around his whole life giving off gay vibes and nobody had told him anything!
"So how are you dealing with it?" Andrea asked. He shrugged, not very sure of what to answer. Because, how was he dealing with it? Fine, he supposed, 'cause he knew that not one single word was true, and he'd never been one to worry about what the others said anyway. She took his silence the wrong way. "It happens to everyone. They'll get tired of it eventually, trust me."
Steven didn't answer and watched her give a bite to her sandwich, returning the smile she gave him when she took her eyes off her food. Apart from the giving off vibes part (which he was willing to forget as soon as he could), he thought it was going pretty well. He really liked talking to her, and he liked staring at her even more, and now he could do both without coming off as weird or obsessed.
The bell rang. As all the students started to get on their feet, Steven stayed on his spot, hoping that she'd invite him somewhere. It was Friday, after all. She surely was going to hang out with her friends, and she wouldn't want to leave him alone while he was dealing with all this shit.
"So, I was wondering..." she began, and Steven jumped to his feet with a barely conceded excited smile. "Do you have any plans for today?"
"No, I don't, as a matter of fact."
Andrea smiled. "Great. I know someone who could hang out with you, if you're interested. His name's Xabi."
Steven paled a bit. "Yer... yer mean like a date?"
"Well, yes. Xabi's from Spain, and he doesn't know many people here. I'm sure you'll really like him, he's a great guy." She looked at Steven expectantly, but he wasn't so convinced. How far was he willing to go to gain her trust? How long until he could finally confess his feelings? "I'd be really grateful," she added.
"Yeah, alright," Steven said with a small sigh. "If yer think it could work."
If you think it could work? What the fuck, Steven? How can it work when you're not interested in guys at all? But Andrea didn't catch his expression and smiled widely.
"I'm positive it'll work. He's one of my best friends, and I know he's great for you." She winked her eye at him, then added "And if it doesn't, I'll make it up to you, alright?"
Well, that sounded good enough. "Yeah, alright."
Steven had never been on a date. Not on an official one, at least. Yes, he'd asked some girls out in the past, but it'd never been with the obligation of liking each other, but just as friends with a chance of moving into something else. This, however, seemed awkward and forced, like he had to like this Xabi guy, or else.
He didn't spend much time thinking on his clothes, or planning the date itself, because he didn't want to give it more relevance than what it really had. Besides, he didn't know why he should be the one doing the planning. Maybe Xabi was the one supposed to be doing the thinking. But then that would make me the girl, Steven thought a bit uneasily, and discarded the idea instantly.
Andrea had given Steven Xabi's number and address (and God, had he wished it'd been hers as she'd handed him the paper), so after some minutes of pondering whether he was actually going to do this, if Andrea was really worth going out on a date with a guy, he grabbed his phone and dialled the number that was scribbled on the small piece of paper.
After a few rings, a soft voice with a weird accent answered.
"Hello?"
Steven swallowed nervously. "Um, hey."
A pause. "Who is this?"
Steven couldn't believe he was actually doing this. He couldn't believe that he had a guy on his phone, a guy he was about to ask out on a motherfucking date. He sighed and closed his eyes.
"Um, it's Steven. Andrea's friend?" He sure as hell hoped that Andrea had talked to Xabi about him.
"Oh, yes," he said, much to Steven's relief, and his tone changed to a much friendlier one. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," Steven answered. "So, listen... yer free tonight, aren't yer?"
"Yes, of course I am," Xabi answered. He sounded extremely excited about this, and that made Steven doubt even more.
What if he was an ugly loser? There had to be a reason why Xabi couldn't get dates by himself, and needed a friend to set him up. Steven could definitely not date someone who wasn't good-looking.
But then again, it was a guy he was talking about, so whether he was good-looking or not didn't even matter. In fact, Steven had to remind himself, there was no way he could ever find another guy good-looking.
"You there?"
"Er, yes," he said. "Um, did yer... have anythin' in mind?"
"No, I thought you did," Xabi answered.
Steven rolled his eyes, then sighed. "We could go to the movies, yeah?"
"Alright, sounds good."
Steven was there on the time they'd settled to pick Xabi up. Their houses were barely 5 blocks away from each other, and 2 from the theatre, but Steven didn't want to walk there. It'd take longer, and would give them room for more conversation, which was what he was trying to avoid. That was why he'd chosen the movies, after all: dark, silence, and something to keep his mind on until this date was over.
Xabi got into Steven's car with a small smile and a soft blush on his cheeks, though Steven couldn't tell if it was because of the cold or if it was something else. He had to admit that the Spaniard was kind of (almost) good-looking, if he took into consideration what girls usually liked: he was well-built, had nice hair and nice eyes, and a gentle smile.
Not that I'm interested.
They selected a movie that neither of them had heard of, but Steven didn't want to ask much about it in case people noticed he was on a date with another guy. He'd never cared about other's opinions, but one thing was telling everyone he was gay, and a very different one was actually taking a guy out.
But luckily for him, Xabi didn't seem to be an expert on it, either, and he looked as unsure and nervous as Steven was. He didn't argue when Steven paid for their tickets, didn't even mention anything about getting something to eat, and settled with the pair of seats Steven chose for them at the very back of the room.
The movie was quite bad, and Steven didn't really pay much attention to it, really. He was more interested in the guy next to him, for some reason; he was unsure of whether Xabi liked him or not. He was more unsure of why he cared at all, but he'd convinced himself with the idea that Andrea would like him more if she knew he'd caused a good impression on her friend.
At one point, Steven felt the matter get out of his control as a light brush against his hand made him look to his left, and saw Xabi smiling shyly at him as he moved his own hand over the other's. Steven panicked, he didn't know what to do, wasn't sure if he was supposed to be doing anything at all!
Every time he'd gone out with girls, he'd been the one making all the important decisions. He'd chosen the place and time for their dates, he'd chosen when it was the right moment to hold hands or to kiss or to smile at each other, but this? This was fucking ridiculous, it was. Xabi wanted to be the girl and the guy at the same time? It didn't make any sense.
He released his hand from Xabi's with the excuse of rubbing his eye, and then left it over his lap and out of reach for the Spaniard. Steven didn't even look left again, he knew that the other's expression would be of confusion or hurt, and he'd have to give an explanation to his actions, or worse, put his hand back to where it'd been. If he didn't look, he could pretend he hadn't noticed, and that would be the end of it.
The movie finished before Steven could even find out what it was about, but he agreed with Xabi when the Spaniard pointed out how good it had been. He didn't care at all. All he wanted to do was to get back to his house and forget this had ever happened.
But it was then when he remembered his true purpose, the whole plan behind this date, and he knew he was far in too deep to screw it now.
"Yer want to get some coffee?" he asked, shoving both of his hands in his pockets and looking at Xabi, who wass hugging himself against the cold.
"Um, okay."
They sat down at one of the tables, ordered two lattes, and when silence became too much to stand, Steven finally decided to start a conversation.
"So... yer from Spain, right? What're yer doin' all the way here in England?"
Xabi smiled a bit and shrugged. "We moved because of my father's work. He got offered a contract here so we came and started living here."
"And do yer like it?"
"I do miss Spain, but I like England very much, too. I like the people here, they're all nice."
"That's just Liverpool, though, don't expect the same treatment from any other part of England, eh?" he joked, and threw a wink that made Xabi grin and blush at the same time.
"Okay," he answered.
There was a brief pause as their coffees were brought over, and then Xabi spoke again.
"Where do you know Andrea from?" he asked.
"From school, mostly," Steven said. "Why? Did she ever say anythin' about me?"
Xabi frowned. "No, not really. Has she ever said anything about me?"
"Yeah, I s'posse," Steven said, ignoring the other's playful smile. "Or we wouldn't be here, now, would we?"
"No, I guess not."
When Steven saw Andrea waiting for him at his locker first thing Monday morning, he didn't even doubt that his plan was working. If things had gone the way he'd planned, and they looked like they had, she'd surely already know everything about his date with Xabi, and had hopefully heard some good things about him, too.
"How did it go?" she asked as he approached her.
"It went good, I guess," he answered with a shrug.
She nodded and walked with him through the halls, silently looking at him expectantly, until Steven raised his eyebrows at her.
"What?"
"Well? Don't you want to know what Xabi told me about you?"
"Er, yeah, yeah, sure," he hurriedly said.
"Okay," she smiled. "He said first that you're really good-looking, and that he had a lot of fun. He also said that you're very easy to talk to, and that's something he really likes."
"Oh. Okay." Steven wasn't sure of what to say, so he simply kept walking with her, saying to himself that just one more date with Xabi would do to get Andrea to like him, considering all the compliments he'd said about him to her after what had been, in Steven's eyes, a quite lame date.
"He's waiting for you to call him again," Andrea said, nudging him with her shoulder.
"Oh."
"... You do like him, right?"
They came to a halt in front of Steven's classroom, and she looked at him with slight worry in her eyes. Steven nodded his head.
"Yeah. I do like him," he answered, which wasn't entirely a lie. Xabi seemed someone Steven could definitely be friends with, if they'd met on other circumstances.
"Good," she said with relief. "I don't know what I'd do, otherwise. I don't think I could forgive you if you ever hurt Xabi," she added, and the laugh at the end didn't ease up the knot that had appeared in Steven's stomach at her words.
Steven had decided after his conversation with Andrea that he'd call Xabi on Wednesday just to keep in touch, and maybe propose a second date the next Friday, but he found himself in his room with the phone in his hand that very same night after he'd had dinner with his family.
"Steven?"
"Yeah, hey Xabi."
"Hello. I didn't expect to hear from you this soon," Xabi said, and Steven could detect the smile on his voice.
"Yeah, I just..." he took a deep breath. "I couldn't stop thinkin' in yer," he said. It wasn't entirely a lie, but he hadn't been thinking in Xabi for the best reasons.
"Me neither," Xabi admitted. "I thought you hadn't liked me at the date, so I didn't call you. But I'm glad you did."
"I just wanted to talk to yer," Steven said, and he heard on the other side the sound of rustling sheets.
"What do you want to talk about?" Xabi asked, again, with a smile on his voice.
"I don't know. What are yer doin' right now?" Please don't make it sound like I wanna have phone sex with him.
"I was catching up on my homework. English. Not very fun," Xabi said. "What were you up to?"
"Er, not much. I just finished dinner and came up to my room," Steven said. He hated sounding this boring, he didn't want Xabi to think he didn't have a life, in case he said that to Andrea. "So... I know this sounds crazy, but do yer wanna meet now?"
"Now?" Xabi asked with a chuckle. "I don't know if I should, there's school tomorrow."
"Yeah, but come on, just a few minutes, eh? We'll just go for a walk."
Steven wasn't very sure of what the hell he was doing, but when Xabi agreed, he couldn't help but feel excited about it. He wondered if this was getting out of his control, if maybe he was past caring about Andrea, but he quickly shook that thought off his head. He wasn't gay, and the thought of her had made his stomach turn, so no, he was still safe.
And besides, he thought as he got changed into clean clothes, he knew he could never like Xabi, anyway.
They met at the park near Xabi's place, greeted each other with a timid hug, and then started walking around, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. Xabi had had a very hard exam that day, he told Steven, but he thought he'd done well because he'd studied a lot. And Steven told him his day had been quite boring and uneventful, except for getting sent to the principal's office in the middle of his Science class for refusing to pay attention.
"They do that in your school?" Xabi asked him as they sat down. "Send you to the principal's office, I mean?"
They'd walked all the 10 blocks to the pier, and took seat in the sidewalk, facing the bright lights of Birkenhead across the water.
"Yeah, they do. I haven't got sent many times, me, I'm a fair student. But if yer get into too much trouble, they kick yer out."
"Ah," Xabi nodded his head. "You see, they don't do that in mine. There's so few of us that if they kicked anyone out, they'd run out of students."
Steven simply nodded his head with a smile, then turned his head away from the other. He was starting to realize that he really enjoyed being in Xabi's pressence. He was easy to talk to, and was fun and relaxed, and he was very similar to Steven in a lot of ways.
But why was he even thinking about this, anyway? It didn't matter how easy-going Xabi was, the goal was someone very different from Xabi, Steven had to remind himself.
"Er, so Xabi," he started, trying to get rid of his thoughts. "has Andrea ever talked to yer about me?"
"A few, yeah," the other answered. "Didn't we have this conversation before?"
"Yeah, yeah, I was just wonderin'... I mean, if she's ever mentioned me, that's all." Steven said with a shrug. "Like, do yer know what her thoughts on me are? Does she even like me?" He asked, and then added, "as a friend, of course."
Xabi smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes, and he looked away from Steven, shaking his head slightly.
"I see what you're trying to say," he said in a low voice.
Steven frowned. "What do yer mean?"
"God, I was such an idiot!" Xabi laughed, but the sound wasn't the one Steven had liked on previous times; it sounded forced and bitter. "You know, I actually did think you liked me," he said, and Steven noticed the way his face was slowly turning red.
"... What are yer talkin' about, mate?"
"You would've had a chance with her if you'd talked to her before lying about being gay," Xabi said, and at that, Steven felt his entire body freeze. "But she's not interested in dating. Not even you, no matter how good-looking she thinks you are."
But Steven found that he didn't care if Andrea fancied him or not, but found more important the way Xabi was now standing up and brushing the dirt off his pants, getting ready to leave. Steven jumped to his feet.
"Xabi, wait."
"Don't worry, Steven, I'm fine," he said, but his shaky voiced proved the contrary. "Look, I'll just... I'm going home."
Steven placed a hand on the other's shoulder to stop him, but it was roughly shrugged off. "Xabi, would yer just listen to me?"
"It's fine, you don't have to worry about it."
Steven sighed. "At least let me walk yer home?"
"No," Xabi replied, turning around to hide his embarrassed blush and the tears that were stinging his eyes. "but thanks. See you around."
Author: onecasillas
Pairing: Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Steven was willing to do anything to get the prettiest girl in school to like him. Anything.
Word count: 3681
A/N: My fics are friends locked, but I'll add anyone who asks.
Steven wasn't very sure why he'd done it. Sure, he'd heard a couple of rumors that she was fond of people like that, but he'd never gone much far to get a girl, not when there were at least ten in his year alone who were dying to be with him. But maybe he hadn't been thinking properly, like one of those impulsive acts he then looked back to and regretted ever doing. Getting into fights and having his ass kicked. Drinking over his limit and trying to burn down the school. Telling the most bigmouthed girl that he was gay when he wasn't.
He was sure the word would spread all over the school, and yes, that was his plan. He was not very popular among the boys in his year, but girls seemed to be fascinated with him for a reason he couldn't quite understand, and a fresh rumor like this was bound to fly around in less than a day, breaking their fragile little hearts for at least an hour until they found another guy to be infatuated with.
He didn't mind the stares and whispers much. After all, there were just a couple of months left, and then, he'd never see any of these people again in his entire life. Except for Andrea, of course, if everything went as planned.
She was one of the prettiest girls in school, but she didn't know it, and that was what made her stand out from the rest. She didn't go around in short skirts, showing off her boobs and giggling every time a good-looking guy walked past. Instead, she was petite, had short, brown hair, and had one of the palest skins Steven had seen, which he preferred to the over-tanned girls that always waved at him during lunch. Andrea was fresh, and unique, and the few times that Steven had spoken to her had been enough to have him thinking about her more than he should.
He'd never seen her with a boyfriend. She had one or two girl friends inside school, but everytime Steven saw her at other places, like the park or the coffee shop near his house, she was always with a guy, laughing and talking and whatnot. At first he'd thought he had no chance. But then he'd heard from a few people, including her once, that all her best friends were gay guys, and so it had ocurred to him: he'd put out the word that he'd come out of the closet, hang out with her daily, and then confess to her that he was starting to grow feelings for her.
It was going to work. It had to.
Steven noticed the change as soon as he walked into the cafeteria. No giggles were heard, no waving, and the few girls who turned around to look at him had either a disgusted or a disappointed look in their faces. No girl batted fake eyelashes at him, and he was grateful for it.
Andrea motioned him over from her table. She was sitting alone. It's going to work, Steven thought, and forced back the smile that was threatening to show in his face. He walked over to her and sat on the opposite chair so that he could look at her all he wanted to.
"I'm glad you finally came out," she said, and then smiled. "I'd been waiting for you to do it since we first talked."
Steven choked on his apple juice. "R-Really?"
"Yeah. It was quite obvious, in my opinion. There's this whole vibe around you. I wonder why nobody else noticed before this," and then added after a small pause, "I guess you were lucky."
"I... guess so, yeah."
Steven could feel something weird growing inside him, a combination of anger and shame. Since when did he have a fucking gay vibe around him? He couldn't believe it, he'd been walking around his whole life giving off gay vibes and nobody had told him anything!
"So how are you dealing with it?" Andrea asked. He shrugged, not very sure of what to answer. Because, how was he dealing with it? Fine, he supposed, 'cause he knew that not one single word was true, and he'd never been one to worry about what the others said anyway. She took his silence the wrong way. "It happens to everyone. They'll get tired of it eventually, trust me."
Steven didn't answer and watched her give a bite to her sandwich, returning the smile she gave him when she took her eyes off her food. Apart from the giving off vibes part (which he was willing to forget as soon as he could), he thought it was going pretty well. He really liked talking to her, and he liked staring at her even more, and now he could do both without coming off as weird or obsessed.
The bell rang. As all the students started to get on their feet, Steven stayed on his spot, hoping that she'd invite him somewhere. It was Friday, after all. She surely was going to hang out with her friends, and she wouldn't want to leave him alone while he was dealing with all this shit.
"So, I was wondering..." she began, and Steven jumped to his feet with a barely conceded excited smile. "Do you have any plans for today?"
"No, I don't, as a matter of fact."
Andrea smiled. "Great. I know someone who could hang out with you, if you're interested. His name's Xabi."
Steven paled a bit. "Yer... yer mean like a date?"
"Well, yes. Xabi's from Spain, and he doesn't know many people here. I'm sure you'll really like him, he's a great guy." She looked at Steven expectantly, but he wasn't so convinced. How far was he willing to go to gain her trust? How long until he could finally confess his feelings? "I'd be really grateful," she added.
"Yeah, alright," Steven said with a small sigh. "If yer think it could work."
If you think it could work? What the fuck, Steven? How can it work when you're not interested in guys at all? But Andrea didn't catch his expression and smiled widely.
"I'm positive it'll work. He's one of my best friends, and I know he's great for you." She winked her eye at him, then added "And if it doesn't, I'll make it up to you, alright?"
Well, that sounded good enough. "Yeah, alright."
Steven had never been on a date. Not on an official one, at least. Yes, he'd asked some girls out in the past, but it'd never been with the obligation of liking each other, but just as friends with a chance of moving into something else. This, however, seemed awkward and forced, like he had to like this Xabi guy, or else.
He didn't spend much time thinking on his clothes, or planning the date itself, because he didn't want to give it more relevance than what it really had. Besides, he didn't know why he should be the one doing the planning. Maybe Xabi was the one supposed to be doing the thinking. But then that would make me the girl, Steven thought a bit uneasily, and discarded the idea instantly.
Andrea had given Steven Xabi's number and address (and God, had he wished it'd been hers as she'd handed him the paper), so after some minutes of pondering whether he was actually going to do this, if Andrea was really worth going out on a date with a guy, he grabbed his phone and dialled the number that was scribbled on the small piece of paper.
After a few rings, a soft voice with a weird accent answered.
"Hello?"
Steven swallowed nervously. "Um, hey."
A pause. "Who is this?"
Steven couldn't believe he was actually doing this. He couldn't believe that he had a guy on his phone, a guy he was about to ask out on a motherfucking date. He sighed and closed his eyes.
"Um, it's Steven. Andrea's friend?" He sure as hell hoped that Andrea had talked to Xabi about him.
"Oh, yes," he said, much to Steven's relief, and his tone changed to a much friendlier one. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," Steven answered. "So, listen... yer free tonight, aren't yer?"
"Yes, of course I am," Xabi answered. He sounded extremely excited about this, and that made Steven doubt even more.
What if he was an ugly loser? There had to be a reason why Xabi couldn't get dates by himself, and needed a friend to set him up. Steven could definitely not date someone who wasn't good-looking.
But then again, it was a guy he was talking about, so whether he was good-looking or not didn't even matter. In fact, Steven had to remind himself, there was no way he could ever find another guy good-looking.
"You there?"
"Er, yes," he said. "Um, did yer... have anythin' in mind?"
"No, I thought you did," Xabi answered.
Steven rolled his eyes, then sighed. "We could go to the movies, yeah?"
"Alright, sounds good."
Steven was there on the time they'd settled to pick Xabi up. Their houses were barely 5 blocks away from each other, and 2 from the theatre, but Steven didn't want to walk there. It'd take longer, and would give them room for more conversation, which was what he was trying to avoid. That was why he'd chosen the movies, after all: dark, silence, and something to keep his mind on until this date was over.
Xabi got into Steven's car with a small smile and a soft blush on his cheeks, though Steven couldn't tell if it was because of the cold or if it was something else. He had to admit that the Spaniard was kind of (almost) good-looking, if he took into consideration what girls usually liked: he was well-built, had nice hair and nice eyes, and a gentle smile.
Not that I'm interested.
They selected a movie that neither of them had heard of, but Steven didn't want to ask much about it in case people noticed he was on a date with another guy. He'd never cared about other's opinions, but one thing was telling everyone he was gay, and a very different one was actually taking a guy out.
But luckily for him, Xabi didn't seem to be an expert on it, either, and he looked as unsure and nervous as Steven was. He didn't argue when Steven paid for their tickets, didn't even mention anything about getting something to eat, and settled with the pair of seats Steven chose for them at the very back of the room.
The movie was quite bad, and Steven didn't really pay much attention to it, really. He was more interested in the guy next to him, for some reason; he was unsure of whether Xabi liked him or not. He was more unsure of why he cared at all, but he'd convinced himself with the idea that Andrea would like him more if she knew he'd caused a good impression on her friend.
At one point, Steven felt the matter get out of his control as a light brush against his hand made him look to his left, and saw Xabi smiling shyly at him as he moved his own hand over the other's. Steven panicked, he didn't know what to do, wasn't sure if he was supposed to be doing anything at all!
Every time he'd gone out with girls, he'd been the one making all the important decisions. He'd chosen the place and time for their dates, he'd chosen when it was the right moment to hold hands or to kiss or to smile at each other, but this? This was fucking ridiculous, it was. Xabi wanted to be the girl and the guy at the same time? It didn't make any sense.
He released his hand from Xabi's with the excuse of rubbing his eye, and then left it over his lap and out of reach for the Spaniard. Steven didn't even look left again, he knew that the other's expression would be of confusion or hurt, and he'd have to give an explanation to his actions, or worse, put his hand back to where it'd been. If he didn't look, he could pretend he hadn't noticed, and that would be the end of it.
The movie finished before Steven could even find out what it was about, but he agreed with Xabi when the Spaniard pointed out how good it had been. He didn't care at all. All he wanted to do was to get back to his house and forget this had ever happened.
But it was then when he remembered his true purpose, the whole plan behind this date, and he knew he was far in too deep to screw it now.
"Yer want to get some coffee?" he asked, shoving both of his hands in his pockets and looking at Xabi, who wass hugging himself against the cold.
"Um, okay."
They sat down at one of the tables, ordered two lattes, and when silence became too much to stand, Steven finally decided to start a conversation.
"So... yer from Spain, right? What're yer doin' all the way here in England?"
Xabi smiled a bit and shrugged. "We moved because of my father's work. He got offered a contract here so we came and started living here."
"And do yer like it?"
"I do miss Spain, but I like England very much, too. I like the people here, they're all nice."
"That's just Liverpool, though, don't expect the same treatment from any other part of England, eh?" he joked, and threw a wink that made Xabi grin and blush at the same time.
"Okay," he answered.
There was a brief pause as their coffees were brought over, and then Xabi spoke again.
"Where do you know Andrea from?" he asked.
"From school, mostly," Steven said. "Why? Did she ever say anythin' about me?"
Xabi frowned. "No, not really. Has she ever said anything about me?"
"Yeah, I s'posse," Steven said, ignoring the other's playful smile. "Or we wouldn't be here, now, would we?"
"No, I guess not."
When Steven saw Andrea waiting for him at his locker first thing Monday morning, he didn't even doubt that his plan was working. If things had gone the way he'd planned, and they looked like they had, she'd surely already know everything about his date with Xabi, and had hopefully heard some good things about him, too.
"How did it go?" she asked as he approached her.
"It went good, I guess," he answered with a shrug.
She nodded and walked with him through the halls, silently looking at him expectantly, until Steven raised his eyebrows at her.
"What?"
"Well? Don't you want to know what Xabi told me about you?"
"Er, yeah, yeah, sure," he hurriedly said.
"Okay," she smiled. "He said first that you're really good-looking, and that he had a lot of fun. He also said that you're very easy to talk to, and that's something he really likes."
"Oh. Okay." Steven wasn't sure of what to say, so he simply kept walking with her, saying to himself that just one more date with Xabi would do to get Andrea to like him, considering all the compliments he'd said about him to her after what had been, in Steven's eyes, a quite lame date.
"He's waiting for you to call him again," Andrea said, nudging him with her shoulder.
"Oh."
"... You do like him, right?"
They came to a halt in front of Steven's classroom, and she looked at him with slight worry in her eyes. Steven nodded his head.
"Yeah. I do like him," he answered, which wasn't entirely a lie. Xabi seemed someone Steven could definitely be friends with, if they'd met on other circumstances.
"Good," she said with relief. "I don't know what I'd do, otherwise. I don't think I could forgive you if you ever hurt Xabi," she added, and the laugh at the end didn't ease up the knot that had appeared in Steven's stomach at her words.
Steven had decided after his conversation with Andrea that he'd call Xabi on Wednesday just to keep in touch, and maybe propose a second date the next Friday, but he found himself in his room with the phone in his hand that very same night after he'd had dinner with his family.
"Steven?"
"Yeah, hey Xabi."
"Hello. I didn't expect to hear from you this soon," Xabi said, and Steven could detect the smile on his voice.
"Yeah, I just..." he took a deep breath. "I couldn't stop thinkin' in yer," he said. It wasn't entirely a lie, but he hadn't been thinking in Xabi for the best reasons.
"Me neither," Xabi admitted. "I thought you hadn't liked me at the date, so I didn't call you. But I'm glad you did."
"I just wanted to talk to yer," Steven said, and he heard on the other side the sound of rustling sheets.
"What do you want to talk about?" Xabi asked, again, with a smile on his voice.
"I don't know. What are yer doin' right now?" Please don't make it sound like I wanna have phone sex with him.
"I was catching up on my homework. English. Not very fun," Xabi said. "What were you up to?"
"Er, not much. I just finished dinner and came up to my room," Steven said. He hated sounding this boring, he didn't want Xabi to think he didn't have a life, in case he said that to Andrea. "So... I know this sounds crazy, but do yer wanna meet now?"
"Now?" Xabi asked with a chuckle. "I don't know if I should, there's school tomorrow."
"Yeah, but come on, just a few minutes, eh? We'll just go for a walk."
Steven wasn't very sure of what the hell he was doing, but when Xabi agreed, he couldn't help but feel excited about it. He wondered if this was getting out of his control, if maybe he was past caring about Andrea, but he quickly shook that thought off his head. He wasn't gay, and the thought of her had made his stomach turn, so no, he was still safe.
And besides, he thought as he got changed into clean clothes, he knew he could never like Xabi, anyway.
They met at the park near Xabi's place, greeted each other with a timid hug, and then started walking around, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. Xabi had had a very hard exam that day, he told Steven, but he thought he'd done well because he'd studied a lot. And Steven told him his day had been quite boring and uneventful, except for getting sent to the principal's office in the middle of his Science class for refusing to pay attention.
"They do that in your school?" Xabi asked him as they sat down. "Send you to the principal's office, I mean?"
They'd walked all the 10 blocks to the pier, and took seat in the sidewalk, facing the bright lights of Birkenhead across the water.
"Yeah, they do. I haven't got sent many times, me, I'm a fair student. But if yer get into too much trouble, they kick yer out."
"Ah," Xabi nodded his head. "You see, they don't do that in mine. There's so few of us that if they kicked anyone out, they'd run out of students."
Steven simply nodded his head with a smile, then turned his head away from the other. He was starting to realize that he really enjoyed being in Xabi's pressence. He was easy to talk to, and was fun and relaxed, and he was very similar to Steven in a lot of ways.
But why was he even thinking about this, anyway? It didn't matter how easy-going Xabi was, the goal was someone very different from Xabi, Steven had to remind himself.
"Er, so Xabi," he started, trying to get rid of his thoughts. "has Andrea ever talked to yer about me?"
"A few, yeah," the other answered. "Didn't we have this conversation before?"
"Yeah, yeah, I was just wonderin'... I mean, if she's ever mentioned me, that's all." Steven said with a shrug. "Like, do yer know what her thoughts on me are? Does she even like me?" He asked, and then added, "as a friend, of course."
Xabi smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes, and he looked away from Steven, shaking his head slightly.
"I see what you're trying to say," he said in a low voice.
Steven frowned. "What do yer mean?"
"God, I was such an idiot!" Xabi laughed, but the sound wasn't the one Steven had liked on previous times; it sounded forced and bitter. "You know, I actually did think you liked me," he said, and Steven noticed the way his face was slowly turning red.
"... What are yer talkin' about, mate?"
"You would've had a chance with her if you'd talked to her before lying about being gay," Xabi said, and at that, Steven felt his entire body freeze. "But she's not interested in dating. Not even you, no matter how good-looking she thinks you are."
But Steven found that he didn't care if Andrea fancied him or not, but found more important the way Xabi was now standing up and brushing the dirt off his pants, getting ready to leave. Steven jumped to his feet.
"Xabi, wait."
"Don't worry, Steven, I'm fine," he said, but his shaky voiced proved the contrary. "Look, I'll just... I'm going home."
Steven placed a hand on the other's shoulder to stop him, but it was roughly shrugged off. "Xabi, would yer just listen to me?"
"It's fine, you don't have to worry about it."
Steven sighed. "At least let me walk yer home?"
"No," Xabi replied, turning around to hide his embarrassed blush and the tears that were stinging his eyes. "but thanks. See you around."