(no subject)
Title: Not Tonight
Pairing: Iker Casillas / Cesc Fabregas
Author: onecasillas
Summary: AU. One night, a number of coincidences, is it enough to change the course of things?
Word Count: 5,677
Dios mueve al jugador, y éste, la pieza.
¿Qué Dios detrás de Dios la trama empieza
de polvo y tiempo y sueño y agonías?
- Jorge Luis Borges
He looked around his apartment with a sigh. The only audible sound was the faint sound of that old clock his grandmother had given him for his birthday; the one he'd always hated, and that he wasn't even sure why he'd brought there with him. Tick, tick, tick. Damn, he hated the sound of that clock.
But inside that dirty, cold, ugly rented apartment, it was the only thing that actually belonged to him. The only thing that reminded him that he'd had a life before all of this shit. Whether that was something good or not, he didn't know.
Everything was exactly where he'd left it the night before, at hand so he could just simply grab it and leave. No time to think about it meant no second thoughts. He left his phone behind, just like his ID and all of his money. Instead, he grabbed only enough coins for the bus, his jacket, and the one thing that made him hesitate for a fraction of a second.
He checked if it was locked, and then put it inside his pants, his belt holding it in its place. The metal felt cold against his skin.
It was a clear night. There was a light breeze that hit against Iker's unshielded face and neck; it woke him up, made him be more aware of the things around him. It wasn't fear that gripped him, only a heightened sense of things. Where had he read that, anyway? Or had it been a movie?
Well, it's not like it really mattered.
He saw the bus he was supposed to take waiting at the red light. The stop was only a few meters away, but he hurried his step anyway, since it was the last bus of the day that went in the direction he needed to go. Exactly like he'd planned.
He hurried to take out the coins from the left pocket of his jacket, and as he did, a few papers fell from it. Old bus tickets, mostly, and the proof that he'd bought milk a week ago. He heard the faint sound of them hitting the floor as he walked even faster to the bus stop.
"Hey, man," he heard someone call from behind him.
He'd walked past a little pizza place with chairs and tables on the sidewalk, filled to the top with people talking and laughing with each other. It was a Friday night after all. Still, this voice had sounded louder than all the others, and he was sure it'd been directed towards him, but he didn't stop walking.
"Man, I'm talking to you," the voice called again, and it sounded even clearer than before, so Iker knew that whoever was calling had stood up and was walking after him. "Do you not know that you're not supposed to throw your crap to the sidewalk? There's trash bins all over the place, in case you haven't noticed."
Iker smiled bitterly to himself and shook his head. "Get lost, man."
"Get lost?"
And then the man was gripping his shoulder trying to stop him from walking away, and Iker was struggling to free himself from him as he watched the lights turn green and the bus drive past his stop.
"You fucking idiot, who the fuck do you think you are? Are you fucking kidding me? It's just paper, for Christ's sake!" Iker yelled, turning around with a look that made the other take a step back.
"Man, calm down, I was just saying you should pick it up. We all share this street, after all."
He couldn't believe it. A paper, a goddamned paper, added to a neat freak idiot, had fucked up his plans for the night. He just couldn't believe his luck.
"I might just fucking kill you right now," Iker said in a low mutter, all his frustration, his fear, no, his heightened sense of things piling up as he got ready to discharge it all over this little man who had decided he'd act in the name of the fucking society like he actually cared about what happened to the two stupid papers he'd let drop.
"Whoa, okay," the other said, though he shrugged Iker off in a way that showed he wasn't really taking it seriously. "If you weren't a dirty person in the first place, you wouldn't have missed your bus."
He turned around and walked back to his table, and Iker just stood there, glaring at his back as he breathed heavily. And just as he started walking after him, he felt another hand at his shoulder.
The fuck is with people grabbing me these days?
"Iker, stop, calm down a bit."
Iker turned around and came face to face to a quite short man with dark hair. "Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm Cesc," the other said, looking almost offended. "We met at a party two weeks ago, don't you remember? Sergio's party? We ran into each other and you poured your drink all over my shirt, so then we-hey, are you even listening?"
Iker had already started walking away. "To be honest, no," he muttered. "I really have no time for this bullshit."
"Fine, then," Cesc told him with a frown. "You're welcome for keeping you out of trouble, I'll just continue with my plans for the night. It's not like I don't have better things to do than this."
At that, Iker turned around and glared at him. "You're welcome? What, am I supposed to thank you for sticking your nose in a situation I had completely under control?"
"Under control? That wasn't even possible, with you out of control!"
"What the-kid, who are you? And why are you here? Nobody asked you to get in my way, why don't you just… fucking walk away and leave me alone."
But Cesc didn't leave, and neither did Iker, who just continued to glare at the floor while he took deep breathes, trying to calm himself down. He finally heard the other sigh.
"Hey, why don't we go have a coffee, yeah?"
Iker looked up. "What?"
"It just looks like you're having a rough night, and I don't have any other plans, either, so… let's just go get a coffee, talk a bit, and then you can go do whatever you want to do, alright?"
Cesc sounded so right that Iker hated it. "Didn't you say you had other plans?"
"Yeah, renting a movie and watching it home by myself," Cesc answered with a shrug. "This sounds better, no? Doesn't coffee sound better to you than getting in a fight with some random guy?"
Iker shook his head and shoved his hands deep down his jeans' pockets, feeling the gun resting against his leg, still and quiet, expecting to be used. He thought about the bus he'd just missed, thought about the man who'd confronted him earlier, and thought about the guy who was now standing in front of him, offering an exit he wasn't expecting to find.
"Yeah, sure, why not."
"So, why exactly are you spending a Friday night by yourself, and watching a movie? That's the most depressing shit I've heard, were you going to buy some ice cream as well?" Iker asked with a small smirk, taking a sip of his coffee.
Cesc glared at him. "I did have plans, but my friend bailed on me. His car wouldn't start, and he doesn't have insurance, so he has to wait until morning to have it fixed and stuff. And he lives on the other side of town, so yeah. I didn't feel like going out to a bar by myself, I guess renting a movie was the best thing I could come up with."
Iker stared at him for a couple of seconds.
"Does your friend not know the concept of a bus? And do you ever shut up?"
"And are you ever nice to anyone?" Cesc asked him back with a glare. "And anyway, of course Fernando knows what a bus is, but it's not exactly the safest thing to take one at this time, you know?"
"I wouldn't really know, I'm not from Barcelona," Iker said with a shrug.
"You're not?"
"No, I'm just renting here for a couple of weeks."
"Oh. Well, anyway, like I said, taking a bus by yourself at midnight it's not too safe. Even if you were about to do it." He looked at Iker expectantly, but the other stayed quiet, so Cesc went on. "A bus to Cadaqués at this time, anyway? Why would you want to do that?"
"That's not exactly any of your business," Iker replied, drinking more of his coffee.
"Would it really be that bad if you said it? One of those 'if I told you, I'd have to kill you' sort of thing?" Cesc asked him with a small smile, and Iker tensed up at the apparently innocent question. Cesc frowned. "Does it even matter, anyway? After tonight, we'll probably never meet again, will we? You'll leave Barcelona, and I'll probably forget you and the fact that we had this conversation by the time I wake up tomorrow."
"Gee, thanks."
"I'm just saying. Whatever you tell me tonight, I will pretend I don't remember and I'll never talk about it ever again."
Iker stared at him for a couple of seconds, maybe even minutes, just trying to understand the reason behind Cesc's behavior. Was it possible he knew anything? The way he was acting, as if… as if Iker was about to tell him about a secret nobody had heard about before, and that nobody could hear about.
"So… do you really want to know?" Iker asked him, his eyebrows raised.
He glanced around the coffee shop. It was entirely empty, except for the woman who had served them their drinks and was now busily texting in her phone from behind the counter, oblivious to the only two clients left. It came off as odd to him, the fact that nobody else was sitting there, and he wondered again if it'd been a coincidence that Cesc had insisted on this place and this place only. As if he'd known.
"Yeah, of course," Cesc said, though Iker didn't look as convinced as he had just seconds ago. "Like I said, I probably won't remember by this time tomorrow."
Iker cleared his throat and shifted in his spot. The gun was pressing against his thigh, harder now that he was sitting down, like a reminder of what he really was supposed to be doing that night. He felt it alive against his skin, cold even after all this time it'd been inside his pants, questioning him, is it safe? Is it safe to let him know everything?
He shifted again. "I… I was going to kill someone tonight."
Cesc's jaw dropped a few inches as he stared at Iker, completely stunned. Iker wondered if he hadn't just imagined that Cesc seemed to have a lead on something, was it just that he'd seen what he'd wanted to see? Was it just that he'd been expecting someone to catch on and stop him on time?
The other surely looked surprised, and maybe he'd been just joking with all the things he'd said about forgetting the conversation. Perhaps he'd been expecting something else, like… Iker confessing he was cheating on his girlfriend or something.
A few minutes went by in complete silence. The waitress was still staring down at the screen of her phone, though there was a stillness to her that put Iker in an alert mode. Cesc continued to stare at him in nothing but shock.
"Are… are you s-serious? I mean…"
"Yes," Iker said, his voice unfaltering. "What were you waiting for when you asked me that, anyway?"
"Fuck, I don't know, that you were going to go looking for your long-lost brother, or that… you had fallen in love with a hooker and you were set to save her from it and ask her to move away with you, or something… something remotely sane and fucking legal, for Christ's sake! God!"
Iker shrugged. "You wanted the truth, didn't you?"
"Why did you even tell me about it, anyway?" Cesc protested, his voice going up a few octaves and wavering slightly. "I feel like I'm your partner in crime now, I'm going to be just as guilty when you kill that person, because I didn't stop you! Oh my God."
Iker sighed. "Don't feel responsible for anything. You did stop me, in case you didn't notice. It won't happen tonight."
"Yes, but what about tomorrow? Or the day after that? Fuck."
"Relax, it's not like you'll remember this tomorrow, right?" Iker asked, and a slightly menacing tone slipped into his voice before he could stop it.
"Of… of c-course not." Cesc stuttered out, truly looking scared now.
Iker cleared his throat. "Listen, you stopped me tonight, right? I won't… I'm not sure I'll do it tomorrow, nor the day after that."
"How am I supposed to believe you?"
"You're not supposed to believe me, I'm just screwing with you just so you calm down a bit. Of course I'm only lying."
Cesc frowned and looked down at the table. Iker could see the way his hands were shaking as they fidgeted with his empty cup of coffee, and how his legs were jumping up and down as if he were warming them up to run away the first chance he got.
"Cesc, listen," Iker started, using the other's name for the first time that night. "I didn't mean to scare you, alright? I… I'm being honest with you, that's what you asked me to do. And I'm not going to hurt you, don't think I'm like… someone who just…" he lowered his voice, "who just kills everyone that gets in his way."
"Oh, so it's only when they pay you to do it? Or is it some sort of personal revenge?"
Iker shook his head. "Do you really want to hear that? It doesn't even matter, you said it yourself. This doesn't include you, and it will never do."
"Well, it does include me now that you've told me about it," Cesc said, his voice sounding a little more firm now. "Why would you want to do it, anyway? Is it the money? Iker, you're a smart guy, you could possibly get a job wherever you wanted to. And… you're nice, too, when you're not being an ass, which is not very often, actually. But why would you want to ruin your life like this? Do you realize that… that once you do it, there's no turning back? It's not like breaking someone's heart, or like vandalizing someone's wall with a stupid graffiti, it's much more than that. You'll be taking away someone's life, and there's no turning back from it. Your soul will be stained for the rest of your life, and I know you're a strong guy, but will you be able to deal with it? With your own conscience? With the weight of someone's death over-"
"I know, I know, just shut up," Iker stopped him, placing both of his hands over his eyes and trying to erase Cesc's words from his head, but not finding it possible. It's like they were burnt to the inside of his brain now.
"God," Cesc suddenly gasped as he stared at him. "You've done this already, haven't you? You've already fucked up your life."
Iker looked up at him with sad eyes, then shook his head. "No. I haven't done it."
"Oh, thank God, I thought for a second there that I'd given you all that speech for nothing." He offered Iker a small smile that wasn't returned.
"Well, if what you've just told me isn't enough to stop me from doing it, then I don't know what will," Iker said with a small sigh, rubbing his temples tiredly.
"Then that's a good thing, isn't it? It means you can feel regret, that you can feel guilty about things, and that means you care. That's a good thing, Iker. You're a good guy."
"How? How am I possibly a good guy when…" Iker shook his head. "Just forget it. I shouldn't be talking to you, I don't want you to… just forget this. Like you told me you would, just forget about me and what we've talked about tonight."
Cesc stared with wide eyes as Iker stood up from his seat. "What and you expect me to just let you leave like that?"
"Yes," Iker answered. "And also, I don't have money to pay for this, I left home with the money only for the bus, so you'll have to take care of that."
"What, you weren't planning to return from Cadaqués?" Cesc asked, and when Iker didn't answer, he too stood up, carelessly throwing some money over the table. "Listen, just… hear me out for a second, alright? Why don't you… don't you want to walk with me for a while?"
Iker stared at him, nothing but angst and regret and doubts shining in his eyes, making him look so much older and yet much more handsome in Cesc's eyes. He finally nodded, and Cesc smiled at him relieved, leading the way out of the coffee shop.
"Where are we going, anyway?"
Cesc smiled and stayed silent, just like he'd done since he'd told Iker there was a place he wanted to show him, and continued tugging on the other's hand, leading him in the right direction.
The night continued to be clear, but the breeze had now died out and Cesc had taken off his jacket, displaying to Iker a Barcelona FC shirt beneath it.
"You support that crap?" Iker asked before he could stop himself. Cesc raised his eyebrows at him menacingly.
"Excuse me? This crap has won more titles than your club could even dream of," he said in a sharp tone.
"What? You don't even know what team I support," Iker said back with a little chuckle. "Which by the way, it's Real, and we've won it more times than you have."
Cesc shook his head with a laugh. "Whatever," he simply said. "We're here, look."
Iker stared at the beach that extended before his eyes, dark and deserted, the sea like a menacing mass of black water that could swallow you without leaving any trace behind. It scared him a little, but Cesc's hand on his was comforting and somewhat reassuring.
"Why are we here?"
"Well…" Cesc hesitated for a few seconds. "I figured… were you heading to Cadaqués with nothing to, you know, commit that act?"
Iker felt something cold in his stomach and he looked down. "No."
"I just thought that maybe we could, you could, throw it out here, no? It'll sink down to the bottom of the sea and after a few weeks, plants will have grown all around and over it, and… and…" he saw Iker's expression change and he instantly sighed. "Alright, forget about it, I just figured-"
"No, you're… you're right, I should." Iker sighed and turned his eyes to the sea again. "I just… do I have to walk all the way over there?"
Cesc caught up quickly. "I'll walk with you, if you want. Nothing bad will happen, I promise. All the sea beasts are sleeping at this time."
"Sea beasts?!" Iker cried out, but his heartbeat slowed down when he saw Cesc was laughing. "Idiot."
"I can't believe you're scared of the sea when you were about to… Never mind, come on, let's go."
He toed off his shoes, and motioned to Iker to do the same, but the other denied in fear of stepping over whatever might've laid there under the dark waters, and ended up walking towards it in his black, shiny shoes.
Iker had thought they'd stop at the shore, but Cesc had other ideas, and continued pulling him deeper and deeper into the waters. The other allowed himself to be dragged along, but when the water reached his waist, Cesc's hand stopped being enough comfort and he offered resistance.
"Um, can't we just do it here?"
"If we do it in the shore, the first wave will crash and will push it back to the beach, yes? Just a little more, come on, here will be fine."
He finally stopped and looked at Iker expectantly. Iker stared off to the sea for some seconds, simply wondering. This night surely hadn't turned out the way he'd expected it to, but that didn't mean… it didn't mean it was all over. And what would happen the next day, when he wanted to finish his task? Would he still have something, or someone, to stop him? His eyes fell over Cesc, who was still watching him.
With a sigh, Iker put his hand inside his pants and pulled out his gun. It shone under the light of the moon, as dark and as scary as the sea was, and he tried not to think as he launched it forwards. It flew like an arrow through the night and fell down with a loud plop into the sea.
Cesc squeezed his hand tightly. "That was great. Ready to go back?" Iker wasn't sure he agreed, but, just as he had all night, he allowed Cesc to pull him out of the water and back to the beach.
"I'm sorry," Iker said. He was staring as Cesc struggled to put back on his shoes, the weight of his wet jeans making it ten times harder. "I'm… I'm sure that getting your pants wet thanks to a complete stranger wasn't what you had in mind for the night."
Cesc finally managed to put his other shoe on, wincing as the sand that had stuck to his damp feet now kind of moved around inside it and dug against his skin. He shrugged, and then looked at Iker with the tiniest hint of a smirk.
"That's not entirely true. I was planning to rent some porn, after all," he said, and then burst out laughing after a few seconds at the bewildered look on Iker's face. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"
"Oh," the other said, blushing slightly as Cesc, who was still chuckling.
"Don't worry, I'm not one to do that."
"Not that you'd need it," Iker said before he could stop himself. Cesc turned in his direction, looking at him questioningly.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Iker shrugged, feeling the heat rise up his neck and cheeks. "Well, it's not like… I mean, you could have anyone you wanted. You're too…" he trailed off, not really knowing what to say.
"Too perfect for words? Yes, I know," Cesc said jokingly, trying to make Iker relax a bit as he noticed how the other had tensed up. "Though I really doubt I could have anyone I wanted, to be honest. I've always had something for Van Persie, you know that Arsenal player?"
"Yeah," Iker said with a laugh.
"Well, I doubt I could have him," Cesc shrugged. He was still smiling faintly, staring off to the sea as the water in his pants and the bottom of his shirt dripped constantly to the sand, just like Iker's clothes.
"Do you… do you want to head back to my place?"
Cesc looked back at Iker with a slight blush. "Um… I don't know."
"Yeah, no, I get it," Iker said hurriedly, quickly turning to face the sea so that he could somehow hide his face from Cesc. "It's not like… yeah, it's fine. I understand. You're scared of me, and you don't even know me, so it makes sense."
"I'm not scared of you," Cesc replied with a slight shrug. "I mean, you're not really a scary guy, and how unlikely is it that you have another gun back at your place?"
"Not unlikely at all."
"And it's not even that, anyway," Cesc went on, pretending like he hadn't heard. "It's just that… well, it's a much more stupid reason, I guess. I don't really go to someone's house after the first date."
There was a certain lightness to his tone that Iker had grown used to and had already started to like, but he couldn't deny that he'd felt something weird inside him at the word date.
"Well…" he started, trying to sound as calm as Cesc did, "it's not like this has been like any other date you've been on, right?"
Cesc smiled at him. "You're right, this was one of the worst I've been on."
"Shut up," Iker muttered, shaking his head though he knew Cesc was right. Had this been a date, it'd been extremely fucked up. "I promise I won't hurt you. Honest. I have no reason to do it."
"I know." Cesc paused and looked at Iker intently, studying him. "You know? I think I'm not nervous about that because… well, you don't really look dangerous, no? You don't really fit into a killer's profile."
"That's because I'm not a killer," Iker said with a shrug.
"Not tonight, at least." Cesc answered, already walking back, away from the sea.
Not tonight, and not ever.
They walked together to Iker's apartment, hand in hand, the feeling presenting itself as familiar to Iker, even if he'd only experienced it that one night. But it was like nothing else mattered, nothing before that moment existed to him.
Why had he gone out of his apartment in the first place?
"This place's a mess," Cesc pointed out with a grin as he looked around. "Do you clean? Like, ever?"
Iker chuckled. "I did clean my house back in Madrid. Sometimes. But no, not really."
He sat down at the edge of his bed, staring amused as Cesc walked around, kicking things aside and examining all of his possessions. He asked himself whether he should be nervous. He had a stranger at his apartment, after all, but Cesc had spent the entire night alone with him, and he figured that if he'd wanted to do something to him, he'd done it already.
Plus, wasn't him the one who'd left the place holding a gun? In any case, it should've been the other way around. Cesc afraid of him.
"Fuck, you don't even have any food in here," Cesc exclaimed from the kitchen, taking a look inside Iker's fridge. "Not one fruit, nothing. And did you have anyone waiting for you at Cadaqués? I mean, how were you expecting to return from there without any money, anyway, you were leaving all of your… belongings… here."
Cesc stopped talking with a frown. Iker was standing at the door, leaning against the frame and with both hands shoved deep down his pockets, staring as the other finally realized what that night had really meant. What Iker's intention had really been.
"But… Iker, why? Why would you…?"
He couldn't bring himself to actually say anything, and Iker decided not to answer, anyway. He gave a little shrug and disappeared through the door to sit back over the bed, with Cesc following him closely, still frowning.
"I don't… get it."
Iker shrugged again. "Yeah," was all he could say.
"But why? I mean…" Cesc cleared his throat. He asked the only thing that came to his mind at that moment. "You came all the way to Catalonia for that? Why Cadaqués?"
"I visited that place once with my mom, when I was a kid," Iker explained, not looking at him. "I've always liked it, and I figured… I just didn't want her to find out, you know? Maybe… maybe if they didn't find me, she'd think I was off trying to achieve some dream or something." He made a pause. "She'd think I was still alive."
"Then why do it?" Cesc pressed on, and Iker felt the bed sinking under the other's weight. "If you care about your mother so much, why hurt her like this? She was going to find out at some point."
Iker shrugged again. He felt naked, as if Cesc could look into his very soul and unbury all of his secrets, all of his doubts and fears and thoughts, just everything that made him what he was today. He didn't want that, it made him feel weak.
"I… I think I felt like that once, when I was younger, it happens to every teenager, no? They all kind of go through that phase when they think about dying and-"
"This is not a teenage impulse," Iker muttered.
"No, I know, but it's similar, isn't it? Back then, when you're a teenager and every little thing feels like the end of the world, what stops you is, well… the thought of the pain that you might cause to your family and friends, right? And the thought that you still have all your life to live! And Iker, you're not even 30, you still haven't lived half your life and-"
"You could see it that way," Iker cut him off again, "or you could say that I'm almost 30 and haven't accomplished anything in my life yet."
Cesc shook his head, but his voice didn't sound as enthusiastic as it had seconds ago. "That's not true."
"What do you know, Cesc? I haven't done anything, I haven't made any of my dreams true, I haven't met the one, I haven't… haven't worked the job I want to, and I just…"
Iker sighed and shook his head defeated. Cesc wasn't having any of it, and he took Iker's hand back in his, stroking his knuckles softly, leaning forwards so that he could talk closer to him.
"Iker, you think you haven't done anything, but that's not true," he said. "I barely know you and you've already changed my life, you think that's not enough?"
A little shocked, Iker looked up at him. "What?"
In response, Cesc pushed him up the bed until he was resting against the headboard, then sat next to him, half resting against Iker's warm body. Like he'd done all night, Iker allowed Cesc to move him around, to do with him whatever he wanted, because that's how he'd felt ever since they'd met earlier.
Cesc was different to everyone Iker had ever met. He was smart, and fun, and nice to be with, and most important of all, he cared. He gave a fuck about Iker even if he didn't know him at all, and Iker couldn't be more grateful for that. He wondered if he would've gotten the same reaction, the same worry, if he'd told this to someone else.
"Do you think it was a coincidence we ran into each other today?" Iker suddenly asked after a few minutes of silence.
"What do you mean?"
"I just… I've been postponing this since I arrived, and that was weeks ago. And the day I finally decide to do it… if your friend's car hadn't broken down, if you'd had any other plans or you wouldn't have gone to rent a movie… if I hadn't dropped those papers and wouldn't have argued with that guy."
"If you hadn't poured that drink over me at Sergio's party," Cesc added.
"Fuck," Iker said with a whisper, looking up at the apartment's ceiling in search of answers, "who the hell is up there?"
"I don't know, I try to focus more on the people down here," Cesc told him with a small smile. "But either way, I don't think it was a coincidence."
He looked up at Iker, still smiling, and he was happy to see the smile being returned. With a jolt of his stomach, Iker saw as Cesc leant over to press his lips gently over his in a kiss that lasted no more than a couple of seconds, but it was enough to have both his heart and his mind racing.
"Yeah," Iker said. "Me neither."
"It's been the weirdest night of my life," Cesc told him the next morning, standing at the door of the building with Iker. "But it was great."
"Yeah, it really was great," Iker agreed. "And… I should thank you. For everything you did for me. Just for… for caring, you know? That's more than anyone has done in a long time, and you… just… thanks."
Cesc smiled at him. "No problem. And I guess I'll see you later, yeah? I mean, I don't think you'll want to spend a Saturday night in, right?"
The look on his face was hopeful, yet Iker saw a slight trace of fear in his eyes as he made the question. A fear that no longer had a reason of existing. He smiled as reassuringly as he could.
"Of course not," he said, "and I'm not exactly planning to go back to Madrid any time soon, either."
A grin brightened Cesc's features. "That's great. So… you have my number."
"Yeah. I'll call you."
"Alright. See you later, then."
Cesc kissed Iker again, something the pair had spent the entire night doing, and pulled apart with a smile that seemed to be always present in his face. He waved his hand, then walked away down the street, past the little pizza shop and the almost empty coffee place, and disappeared when he turned right at the corner.
Iker continued to stand there for a while, just staring at the place where Cesc had stood. He wondered if he'd imagined the night before. He wondered if this was all meant to happen. Was he truly meant to meet Cesc to prevent himself from doing what he'd planned to do?
Or, a more hopeful voice inside him whispered, was he meant to plan it so that he'd meet Cesc in the end?
It didn't really matter, anyway, he figured, because whatever had been supposed to happen had happened, and he was now ready to face things differently, with a smile on his face and someone there for him at his side at all times. That was all that mattered right now.
Pairing: Iker Casillas / Cesc Fabregas
Author: onecasillas
Summary: AU. One night, a number of coincidences, is it enough to change the course of things?
Word Count: 5,677
Dios mueve al jugador, y éste, la pieza.
¿Qué Dios detrás de Dios la trama empieza
de polvo y tiempo y sueño y agonías?
- Jorge Luis Borges
He looked around his apartment with a sigh. The only audible sound was the faint sound of that old clock his grandmother had given him for his birthday; the one he'd always hated, and that he wasn't even sure why he'd brought there with him. Tick, tick, tick. Damn, he hated the sound of that clock.
But inside that dirty, cold, ugly rented apartment, it was the only thing that actually belonged to him. The only thing that reminded him that he'd had a life before all of this shit. Whether that was something good or not, he didn't know.
Everything was exactly where he'd left it the night before, at hand so he could just simply grab it and leave. No time to think about it meant no second thoughts. He left his phone behind, just like his ID and all of his money. Instead, he grabbed only enough coins for the bus, his jacket, and the one thing that made him hesitate for a fraction of a second.
He checked if it was locked, and then put it inside his pants, his belt holding it in its place. The metal felt cold against his skin.
It was a clear night. There was a light breeze that hit against Iker's unshielded face and neck; it woke him up, made him be more aware of the things around him. It wasn't fear that gripped him, only a heightened sense of things. Where had he read that, anyway? Or had it been a movie?
Well, it's not like it really mattered.
He saw the bus he was supposed to take waiting at the red light. The stop was only a few meters away, but he hurried his step anyway, since it was the last bus of the day that went in the direction he needed to go. Exactly like he'd planned.
He hurried to take out the coins from the left pocket of his jacket, and as he did, a few papers fell from it. Old bus tickets, mostly, and the proof that he'd bought milk a week ago. He heard the faint sound of them hitting the floor as he walked even faster to the bus stop.
"Hey, man," he heard someone call from behind him.
He'd walked past a little pizza place with chairs and tables on the sidewalk, filled to the top with people talking and laughing with each other. It was a Friday night after all. Still, this voice had sounded louder than all the others, and he was sure it'd been directed towards him, but he didn't stop walking.
"Man, I'm talking to you," the voice called again, and it sounded even clearer than before, so Iker knew that whoever was calling had stood up and was walking after him. "Do you not know that you're not supposed to throw your crap to the sidewalk? There's trash bins all over the place, in case you haven't noticed."
Iker smiled bitterly to himself and shook his head. "Get lost, man."
"Get lost?"
And then the man was gripping his shoulder trying to stop him from walking away, and Iker was struggling to free himself from him as he watched the lights turn green and the bus drive past his stop.
"You fucking idiot, who the fuck do you think you are? Are you fucking kidding me? It's just paper, for Christ's sake!" Iker yelled, turning around with a look that made the other take a step back.
"Man, calm down, I was just saying you should pick it up. We all share this street, after all."
He couldn't believe it. A paper, a goddamned paper, added to a neat freak idiot, had fucked up his plans for the night. He just couldn't believe his luck.
"I might just fucking kill you right now," Iker said in a low mutter, all his frustration, his fear, no, his heightened sense of things piling up as he got ready to discharge it all over this little man who had decided he'd act in the name of the fucking society like he actually cared about what happened to the two stupid papers he'd let drop.
"Whoa, okay," the other said, though he shrugged Iker off in a way that showed he wasn't really taking it seriously. "If you weren't a dirty person in the first place, you wouldn't have missed your bus."
He turned around and walked back to his table, and Iker just stood there, glaring at his back as he breathed heavily. And just as he started walking after him, he felt another hand at his shoulder.
The fuck is with people grabbing me these days?
"Iker, stop, calm down a bit."
Iker turned around and came face to face to a quite short man with dark hair. "Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm Cesc," the other said, looking almost offended. "We met at a party two weeks ago, don't you remember? Sergio's party? We ran into each other and you poured your drink all over my shirt, so then we-hey, are you even listening?"
Iker had already started walking away. "To be honest, no," he muttered. "I really have no time for this bullshit."
"Fine, then," Cesc told him with a frown. "You're welcome for keeping you out of trouble, I'll just continue with my plans for the night. It's not like I don't have better things to do than this."
At that, Iker turned around and glared at him. "You're welcome? What, am I supposed to thank you for sticking your nose in a situation I had completely under control?"
"Under control? That wasn't even possible, with you out of control!"
"What the-kid, who are you? And why are you here? Nobody asked you to get in my way, why don't you just… fucking walk away and leave me alone."
But Cesc didn't leave, and neither did Iker, who just continued to glare at the floor while he took deep breathes, trying to calm himself down. He finally heard the other sigh.
"Hey, why don't we go have a coffee, yeah?"
Iker looked up. "What?"
"It just looks like you're having a rough night, and I don't have any other plans, either, so… let's just go get a coffee, talk a bit, and then you can go do whatever you want to do, alright?"
Cesc sounded so right that Iker hated it. "Didn't you say you had other plans?"
"Yeah, renting a movie and watching it home by myself," Cesc answered with a shrug. "This sounds better, no? Doesn't coffee sound better to you than getting in a fight with some random guy?"
Iker shook his head and shoved his hands deep down his jeans' pockets, feeling the gun resting against his leg, still and quiet, expecting to be used. He thought about the bus he'd just missed, thought about the man who'd confronted him earlier, and thought about the guy who was now standing in front of him, offering an exit he wasn't expecting to find.
"Yeah, sure, why not."
"So, why exactly are you spending a Friday night by yourself, and watching a movie? That's the most depressing shit I've heard, were you going to buy some ice cream as well?" Iker asked with a small smirk, taking a sip of his coffee.
Cesc glared at him. "I did have plans, but my friend bailed on me. His car wouldn't start, and he doesn't have insurance, so he has to wait until morning to have it fixed and stuff. And he lives on the other side of town, so yeah. I didn't feel like going out to a bar by myself, I guess renting a movie was the best thing I could come up with."
Iker stared at him for a couple of seconds.
"Does your friend not know the concept of a bus? And do you ever shut up?"
"And are you ever nice to anyone?" Cesc asked him back with a glare. "And anyway, of course Fernando knows what a bus is, but it's not exactly the safest thing to take one at this time, you know?"
"I wouldn't really know, I'm not from Barcelona," Iker said with a shrug.
"You're not?"
"No, I'm just renting here for a couple of weeks."
"Oh. Well, anyway, like I said, taking a bus by yourself at midnight it's not too safe. Even if you were about to do it." He looked at Iker expectantly, but the other stayed quiet, so Cesc went on. "A bus to Cadaqués at this time, anyway? Why would you want to do that?"
"That's not exactly any of your business," Iker replied, drinking more of his coffee.
"Would it really be that bad if you said it? One of those 'if I told you, I'd have to kill you' sort of thing?" Cesc asked him with a small smile, and Iker tensed up at the apparently innocent question. Cesc frowned. "Does it even matter, anyway? After tonight, we'll probably never meet again, will we? You'll leave Barcelona, and I'll probably forget you and the fact that we had this conversation by the time I wake up tomorrow."
"Gee, thanks."
"I'm just saying. Whatever you tell me tonight, I will pretend I don't remember and I'll never talk about it ever again."
Iker stared at him for a couple of seconds, maybe even minutes, just trying to understand the reason behind Cesc's behavior. Was it possible he knew anything? The way he was acting, as if… as if Iker was about to tell him about a secret nobody had heard about before, and that nobody could hear about.
"So… do you really want to know?" Iker asked him, his eyebrows raised.
He glanced around the coffee shop. It was entirely empty, except for the woman who had served them their drinks and was now busily texting in her phone from behind the counter, oblivious to the only two clients left. It came off as odd to him, the fact that nobody else was sitting there, and he wondered again if it'd been a coincidence that Cesc had insisted on this place and this place only. As if he'd known.
"Yeah, of course," Cesc said, though Iker didn't look as convinced as he had just seconds ago. "Like I said, I probably won't remember by this time tomorrow."
Iker cleared his throat and shifted in his spot. The gun was pressing against his thigh, harder now that he was sitting down, like a reminder of what he really was supposed to be doing that night. He felt it alive against his skin, cold even after all this time it'd been inside his pants, questioning him, is it safe? Is it safe to let him know everything?
He shifted again. "I… I was going to kill someone tonight."
Cesc's jaw dropped a few inches as he stared at Iker, completely stunned. Iker wondered if he hadn't just imagined that Cesc seemed to have a lead on something, was it just that he'd seen what he'd wanted to see? Was it just that he'd been expecting someone to catch on and stop him on time?
The other surely looked surprised, and maybe he'd been just joking with all the things he'd said about forgetting the conversation. Perhaps he'd been expecting something else, like… Iker confessing he was cheating on his girlfriend or something.
A few minutes went by in complete silence. The waitress was still staring down at the screen of her phone, though there was a stillness to her that put Iker in an alert mode. Cesc continued to stare at him in nothing but shock.
"Are… are you s-serious? I mean…"
"Yes," Iker said, his voice unfaltering. "What were you waiting for when you asked me that, anyway?"
"Fuck, I don't know, that you were going to go looking for your long-lost brother, or that… you had fallen in love with a hooker and you were set to save her from it and ask her to move away with you, or something… something remotely sane and fucking legal, for Christ's sake! God!"
Iker shrugged. "You wanted the truth, didn't you?"
"Why did you even tell me about it, anyway?" Cesc protested, his voice going up a few octaves and wavering slightly. "I feel like I'm your partner in crime now, I'm going to be just as guilty when you kill that person, because I didn't stop you! Oh my God."
Iker sighed. "Don't feel responsible for anything. You did stop me, in case you didn't notice. It won't happen tonight."
"Yes, but what about tomorrow? Or the day after that? Fuck."
"Relax, it's not like you'll remember this tomorrow, right?" Iker asked, and a slightly menacing tone slipped into his voice before he could stop it.
"Of… of c-course not." Cesc stuttered out, truly looking scared now.
Iker cleared his throat. "Listen, you stopped me tonight, right? I won't… I'm not sure I'll do it tomorrow, nor the day after that."
"How am I supposed to believe you?"
"You're not supposed to believe me, I'm just screwing with you just so you calm down a bit. Of course I'm only lying."
Cesc frowned and looked down at the table. Iker could see the way his hands were shaking as they fidgeted with his empty cup of coffee, and how his legs were jumping up and down as if he were warming them up to run away the first chance he got.
"Cesc, listen," Iker started, using the other's name for the first time that night. "I didn't mean to scare you, alright? I… I'm being honest with you, that's what you asked me to do. And I'm not going to hurt you, don't think I'm like… someone who just…" he lowered his voice, "who just kills everyone that gets in his way."
"Oh, so it's only when they pay you to do it? Or is it some sort of personal revenge?"
Iker shook his head. "Do you really want to hear that? It doesn't even matter, you said it yourself. This doesn't include you, and it will never do."
"Well, it does include me now that you've told me about it," Cesc said, his voice sounding a little more firm now. "Why would you want to do it, anyway? Is it the money? Iker, you're a smart guy, you could possibly get a job wherever you wanted to. And… you're nice, too, when you're not being an ass, which is not very often, actually. But why would you want to ruin your life like this? Do you realize that… that once you do it, there's no turning back? It's not like breaking someone's heart, or like vandalizing someone's wall with a stupid graffiti, it's much more than that. You'll be taking away someone's life, and there's no turning back from it. Your soul will be stained for the rest of your life, and I know you're a strong guy, but will you be able to deal with it? With your own conscience? With the weight of someone's death over-"
"I know, I know, just shut up," Iker stopped him, placing both of his hands over his eyes and trying to erase Cesc's words from his head, but not finding it possible. It's like they were burnt to the inside of his brain now.
"God," Cesc suddenly gasped as he stared at him. "You've done this already, haven't you? You've already fucked up your life."
Iker looked up at him with sad eyes, then shook his head. "No. I haven't done it."
"Oh, thank God, I thought for a second there that I'd given you all that speech for nothing." He offered Iker a small smile that wasn't returned.
"Well, if what you've just told me isn't enough to stop me from doing it, then I don't know what will," Iker said with a small sigh, rubbing his temples tiredly.
"Then that's a good thing, isn't it? It means you can feel regret, that you can feel guilty about things, and that means you care. That's a good thing, Iker. You're a good guy."
"How? How am I possibly a good guy when…" Iker shook his head. "Just forget it. I shouldn't be talking to you, I don't want you to… just forget this. Like you told me you would, just forget about me and what we've talked about tonight."
Cesc stared with wide eyes as Iker stood up from his seat. "What and you expect me to just let you leave like that?"
"Yes," Iker answered. "And also, I don't have money to pay for this, I left home with the money only for the bus, so you'll have to take care of that."
"What, you weren't planning to return from Cadaqués?" Cesc asked, and when Iker didn't answer, he too stood up, carelessly throwing some money over the table. "Listen, just… hear me out for a second, alright? Why don't you… don't you want to walk with me for a while?"
Iker stared at him, nothing but angst and regret and doubts shining in his eyes, making him look so much older and yet much more handsome in Cesc's eyes. He finally nodded, and Cesc smiled at him relieved, leading the way out of the coffee shop.
"Where are we going, anyway?"
Cesc smiled and stayed silent, just like he'd done since he'd told Iker there was a place he wanted to show him, and continued tugging on the other's hand, leading him in the right direction.
The night continued to be clear, but the breeze had now died out and Cesc had taken off his jacket, displaying to Iker a Barcelona FC shirt beneath it.
"You support that crap?" Iker asked before he could stop himself. Cesc raised his eyebrows at him menacingly.
"Excuse me? This crap has won more titles than your club could even dream of," he said in a sharp tone.
"What? You don't even know what team I support," Iker said back with a little chuckle. "Which by the way, it's Real, and we've won it more times than you have."
Cesc shook his head with a laugh. "Whatever," he simply said. "We're here, look."
Iker stared at the beach that extended before his eyes, dark and deserted, the sea like a menacing mass of black water that could swallow you without leaving any trace behind. It scared him a little, but Cesc's hand on his was comforting and somewhat reassuring.
"Why are we here?"
"Well…" Cesc hesitated for a few seconds. "I figured… were you heading to Cadaqués with nothing to, you know, commit that act?"
Iker felt something cold in his stomach and he looked down. "No."
"I just thought that maybe we could, you could, throw it out here, no? It'll sink down to the bottom of the sea and after a few weeks, plants will have grown all around and over it, and… and…" he saw Iker's expression change and he instantly sighed. "Alright, forget about it, I just figured-"
"No, you're… you're right, I should." Iker sighed and turned his eyes to the sea again. "I just… do I have to walk all the way over there?"
Cesc caught up quickly. "I'll walk with you, if you want. Nothing bad will happen, I promise. All the sea beasts are sleeping at this time."
"Sea beasts?!" Iker cried out, but his heartbeat slowed down when he saw Cesc was laughing. "Idiot."
"I can't believe you're scared of the sea when you were about to… Never mind, come on, let's go."
He toed off his shoes, and motioned to Iker to do the same, but the other denied in fear of stepping over whatever might've laid there under the dark waters, and ended up walking towards it in his black, shiny shoes.
Iker had thought they'd stop at the shore, but Cesc had other ideas, and continued pulling him deeper and deeper into the waters. The other allowed himself to be dragged along, but when the water reached his waist, Cesc's hand stopped being enough comfort and he offered resistance.
"Um, can't we just do it here?"
"If we do it in the shore, the first wave will crash and will push it back to the beach, yes? Just a little more, come on, here will be fine."
He finally stopped and looked at Iker expectantly. Iker stared off to the sea for some seconds, simply wondering. This night surely hadn't turned out the way he'd expected it to, but that didn't mean… it didn't mean it was all over. And what would happen the next day, when he wanted to finish his task? Would he still have something, or someone, to stop him? His eyes fell over Cesc, who was still watching him.
With a sigh, Iker put his hand inside his pants and pulled out his gun. It shone under the light of the moon, as dark and as scary as the sea was, and he tried not to think as he launched it forwards. It flew like an arrow through the night and fell down with a loud plop into the sea.
Cesc squeezed his hand tightly. "That was great. Ready to go back?" Iker wasn't sure he agreed, but, just as he had all night, he allowed Cesc to pull him out of the water and back to the beach.
"I'm sorry," Iker said. He was staring as Cesc struggled to put back on his shoes, the weight of his wet jeans making it ten times harder. "I'm… I'm sure that getting your pants wet thanks to a complete stranger wasn't what you had in mind for the night."
Cesc finally managed to put his other shoe on, wincing as the sand that had stuck to his damp feet now kind of moved around inside it and dug against his skin. He shrugged, and then looked at Iker with the tiniest hint of a smirk.
"That's not entirely true. I was planning to rent some porn, after all," he said, and then burst out laughing after a few seconds at the bewildered look on Iker's face. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"
"Oh," the other said, blushing slightly as Cesc, who was still chuckling.
"Don't worry, I'm not one to do that."
"Not that you'd need it," Iker said before he could stop himself. Cesc turned in his direction, looking at him questioningly.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Iker shrugged, feeling the heat rise up his neck and cheeks. "Well, it's not like… I mean, you could have anyone you wanted. You're too…" he trailed off, not really knowing what to say.
"Too perfect for words? Yes, I know," Cesc said jokingly, trying to make Iker relax a bit as he noticed how the other had tensed up. "Though I really doubt I could have anyone I wanted, to be honest. I've always had something for Van Persie, you know that Arsenal player?"
"Yeah," Iker said with a laugh.
"Well, I doubt I could have him," Cesc shrugged. He was still smiling faintly, staring off to the sea as the water in his pants and the bottom of his shirt dripped constantly to the sand, just like Iker's clothes.
"Do you… do you want to head back to my place?"
Cesc looked back at Iker with a slight blush. "Um… I don't know."
"Yeah, no, I get it," Iker said hurriedly, quickly turning to face the sea so that he could somehow hide his face from Cesc. "It's not like… yeah, it's fine. I understand. You're scared of me, and you don't even know me, so it makes sense."
"I'm not scared of you," Cesc replied with a slight shrug. "I mean, you're not really a scary guy, and how unlikely is it that you have another gun back at your place?"
"Not unlikely at all."
"And it's not even that, anyway," Cesc went on, pretending like he hadn't heard. "It's just that… well, it's a much more stupid reason, I guess. I don't really go to someone's house after the first date."
There was a certain lightness to his tone that Iker had grown used to and had already started to like, but he couldn't deny that he'd felt something weird inside him at the word date.
"Well…" he started, trying to sound as calm as Cesc did, "it's not like this has been like any other date you've been on, right?"
Cesc smiled at him. "You're right, this was one of the worst I've been on."
"Shut up," Iker muttered, shaking his head though he knew Cesc was right. Had this been a date, it'd been extremely fucked up. "I promise I won't hurt you. Honest. I have no reason to do it."
"I know." Cesc paused and looked at Iker intently, studying him. "You know? I think I'm not nervous about that because… well, you don't really look dangerous, no? You don't really fit into a killer's profile."
"That's because I'm not a killer," Iker said with a shrug.
"Not tonight, at least." Cesc answered, already walking back, away from the sea.
Not tonight, and not ever.
They walked together to Iker's apartment, hand in hand, the feeling presenting itself as familiar to Iker, even if he'd only experienced it that one night. But it was like nothing else mattered, nothing before that moment existed to him.
Why had he gone out of his apartment in the first place?
"This place's a mess," Cesc pointed out with a grin as he looked around. "Do you clean? Like, ever?"
Iker chuckled. "I did clean my house back in Madrid. Sometimes. But no, not really."
He sat down at the edge of his bed, staring amused as Cesc walked around, kicking things aside and examining all of his possessions. He asked himself whether he should be nervous. He had a stranger at his apartment, after all, but Cesc had spent the entire night alone with him, and he figured that if he'd wanted to do something to him, he'd done it already.
Plus, wasn't him the one who'd left the place holding a gun? In any case, it should've been the other way around. Cesc afraid of him.
"Fuck, you don't even have any food in here," Cesc exclaimed from the kitchen, taking a look inside Iker's fridge. "Not one fruit, nothing. And did you have anyone waiting for you at Cadaqués? I mean, how were you expecting to return from there without any money, anyway, you were leaving all of your… belongings… here."
Cesc stopped talking with a frown. Iker was standing at the door, leaning against the frame and with both hands shoved deep down his pockets, staring as the other finally realized what that night had really meant. What Iker's intention had really been.
"But… Iker, why? Why would you…?"
He couldn't bring himself to actually say anything, and Iker decided not to answer, anyway. He gave a little shrug and disappeared through the door to sit back over the bed, with Cesc following him closely, still frowning.
"I don't… get it."
Iker shrugged again. "Yeah," was all he could say.
"But why? I mean…" Cesc cleared his throat. He asked the only thing that came to his mind at that moment. "You came all the way to Catalonia for that? Why Cadaqués?"
"I visited that place once with my mom, when I was a kid," Iker explained, not looking at him. "I've always liked it, and I figured… I just didn't want her to find out, you know? Maybe… maybe if they didn't find me, she'd think I was off trying to achieve some dream or something." He made a pause. "She'd think I was still alive."
"Then why do it?" Cesc pressed on, and Iker felt the bed sinking under the other's weight. "If you care about your mother so much, why hurt her like this? She was going to find out at some point."
Iker shrugged again. He felt naked, as if Cesc could look into his very soul and unbury all of his secrets, all of his doubts and fears and thoughts, just everything that made him what he was today. He didn't want that, it made him feel weak.
"I… I think I felt like that once, when I was younger, it happens to every teenager, no? They all kind of go through that phase when they think about dying and-"
"This is not a teenage impulse," Iker muttered.
"No, I know, but it's similar, isn't it? Back then, when you're a teenager and every little thing feels like the end of the world, what stops you is, well… the thought of the pain that you might cause to your family and friends, right? And the thought that you still have all your life to live! And Iker, you're not even 30, you still haven't lived half your life and-"
"You could see it that way," Iker cut him off again, "or you could say that I'm almost 30 and haven't accomplished anything in my life yet."
Cesc shook his head, but his voice didn't sound as enthusiastic as it had seconds ago. "That's not true."
"What do you know, Cesc? I haven't done anything, I haven't made any of my dreams true, I haven't met the one, I haven't… haven't worked the job I want to, and I just…"
Iker sighed and shook his head defeated. Cesc wasn't having any of it, and he took Iker's hand back in his, stroking his knuckles softly, leaning forwards so that he could talk closer to him.
"Iker, you think you haven't done anything, but that's not true," he said. "I barely know you and you've already changed my life, you think that's not enough?"
A little shocked, Iker looked up at him. "What?"
In response, Cesc pushed him up the bed until he was resting against the headboard, then sat next to him, half resting against Iker's warm body. Like he'd done all night, Iker allowed Cesc to move him around, to do with him whatever he wanted, because that's how he'd felt ever since they'd met earlier.
Cesc was different to everyone Iker had ever met. He was smart, and fun, and nice to be with, and most important of all, he cared. He gave a fuck about Iker even if he didn't know him at all, and Iker couldn't be more grateful for that. He wondered if he would've gotten the same reaction, the same worry, if he'd told this to someone else.
"Do you think it was a coincidence we ran into each other today?" Iker suddenly asked after a few minutes of silence.
"What do you mean?"
"I just… I've been postponing this since I arrived, and that was weeks ago. And the day I finally decide to do it… if your friend's car hadn't broken down, if you'd had any other plans or you wouldn't have gone to rent a movie… if I hadn't dropped those papers and wouldn't have argued with that guy."
"If you hadn't poured that drink over me at Sergio's party," Cesc added.
"Fuck," Iker said with a whisper, looking up at the apartment's ceiling in search of answers, "who the hell is up there?"
"I don't know, I try to focus more on the people down here," Cesc told him with a small smile. "But either way, I don't think it was a coincidence."
He looked up at Iker, still smiling, and he was happy to see the smile being returned. With a jolt of his stomach, Iker saw as Cesc leant over to press his lips gently over his in a kiss that lasted no more than a couple of seconds, but it was enough to have both his heart and his mind racing.
"Yeah," Iker said. "Me neither."
"It's been the weirdest night of my life," Cesc told him the next morning, standing at the door of the building with Iker. "But it was great."
"Yeah, it really was great," Iker agreed. "And… I should thank you. For everything you did for me. Just for… for caring, you know? That's more than anyone has done in a long time, and you… just… thanks."
Cesc smiled at him. "No problem. And I guess I'll see you later, yeah? I mean, I don't think you'll want to spend a Saturday night in, right?"
The look on his face was hopeful, yet Iker saw a slight trace of fear in his eyes as he made the question. A fear that no longer had a reason of existing. He smiled as reassuringly as he could.
"Of course not," he said, "and I'm not exactly planning to go back to Madrid any time soon, either."
A grin brightened Cesc's features. "That's great. So… you have my number."
"Yeah. I'll call you."
"Alright. See you later, then."
Cesc kissed Iker again, something the pair had spent the entire night doing, and pulled apart with a smile that seemed to be always present in his face. He waved his hand, then walked away down the street, past the little pizza shop and the almost empty coffee place, and disappeared when he turned right at the corner.
Iker continued to stand there for a while, just staring at the place where Cesc had stood. He wondered if he'd imagined the night before. He wondered if this was all meant to happen. Was he truly meant to meet Cesc to prevent himself from doing what he'd planned to do?
Or, a more hopeful voice inside him whispered, was he meant to plan it so that he'd meet Cesc in the end?
It didn't really matter, anyway, he figured, because whatever had been supposed to happen had happened, and he was now ready to face things differently, with a smile on his face and someone there for him at his side at all times. That was all that mattered right now.