_We_Happy_Few_
After some ... misunderstanding I'm back in _We_Happy_Few_ so to keep everybody on what happened to Xander before...
Temporary insanity that's what it is. What was I thinking getting involved with a Wolfram and Hart Liason!? Well, now I have to focus on what's ahead of me. Namely the teaching job Giles offered/gave me. Somehow, I have to think up lesson plans for defensive/carpentry classes. Odd mix. As I walked into the Hyperion from my date from Wolfram and Hell, I stopped by the kitchen to eat. Can't think on an epnty stomach! "Aha!", I gasped as I found the deli meats. Sandwich in hand, I walked up the stairs and headed to my room, passing Dawn's and Nicole's on the way. I thought to look in on them but remembered that they were grown up now. It would be like a big brother spying on his little sister's actions. Can't lose Dawn's trust. Not after her room makeover right out of "Xander Harris' Trading Spaces" or "While You Were Out" or one of those TLC shows Buffy used to watch.
I got to my room and unlocked the door. As I set my sandwich down on the inside desk, I closed the door. I walked over to the night table next to my bed and pulled out a yellow not pad. Walking back to my desk, I thought of certain lesson plans I could teach. Nothing was coming to mind! I glanced at the phone thinking to call Giles and throw in the towel but I couldn't quit now. I just had to think common sense. "Ok", I said to noone in particular. "If I were a young woman walking down a dark alleyway with creaky trashcans...creaky trashcans?!" I took a breath and sat down leaning on the back legs of the chair really trying to imagine. "Once again.", I said. "Young woman walking down a menacing alleyway, I would tackle the guy following me!" I opened my eyes and fell back in my moment of excitement. Pulling the chair up with me I grabbed the pen and wrote the word:
Tackle.
"This will be easy.", I said.
_______________________________________
Cheese was everywhere. All over the HQ's lobby, girls were coming in soon to train and live and they would be coming to a slippery cheesey mess. Well, that's me, Xander Zeppo Harris. Just a little more balance. That's all I needed but no! I had to play jenga with the nachos. As I retreated into my room to my horror I had realized I set up shop in a non shower room! I set Dawn and Nicole in shower rooms... I grabbed a towel and peeked my head outside and saw noone. As I crept towards Dawn's room I half fell, half slipped inside. I got up and ran into the shower slamming the door.
Now, I have to treat everyone to nachos. It was funny though. I turned on the tub and declothed. I then felt the temperature of the water while at the same time de-cheesing my hand. After it got to an acceptable temperature I turned on the shower and stepped inside. Cheese in my hair was another problem. Note to self: I thought. Teach girls to protect against projectile nachos. I stayed in there for a long time. The cheese in my hair finally let go and my hair regained it's shine. Wait, my hair never had shine! I had a permanent streak of cheese through my hair. I got out. wrapped a towel around me and wiped the fog off the window. I was a cheesey Rogue! No pun intended! One cheese streak plain as day! As I went for the door I saw that I had locked myself inside.
These old bathrooms can't be opened from the inside?! I stood their apprehensive on what might happen. There was a vent but too Mission Impossible. I guess I'll be the kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Again.
____________________________________
After the "shower incident" I stealthily returned to my room and got dressed. I sighed and decided clothes were an invention of godliness. After singing the praises of the clothes god I grabbed my jacket and my pad and headed out, making sure I locked my door so Dawn didn't do anything mischevious with Nicole. I walked down the steps and spotted Robin who was watching Alan in Giles' office. I nodded to him as I headed out of the building. It was only 8:00. Maybe starbucks is open. I looked both ways just like my mother told me when I was ... a younger age. Pen and pad in hand I strode down the sidewalk and I decided: the first coffe place I see I'll stop into.
It was called: The Espresso Jump. Deja vu struck me. I sighed from regret and nostalgia as I opened the door. Not many people were in there. I sat down and a waitress who might've passed for the crypt creeper's wife hobbled up to my table. I was surprised cobwebs weren't coming out of her ears. She held a pad in front of her and eyed mine. I know what she was thinking. I bet I could write so much better on that yellow pad. Well I wouldn't stand for theft and so I did just that. Stood up and glared. And realized, it was all in my head. I racked my brain for a cover up and all I could come up with was, "You resemble my bookie." She glared, her cold hard stare not marred by my comment.
"What'l it be Lucky?" I wanted to make a snarky comeback remark but she was so...old. "Well, feeling lucky, Lucky?" I frowned and sat back down.
"Um, one espresso." She shook her head. "What?" I asked. "I don't speak mime."
"No espresso."
"You're name is the Espresso Jump."
"Thank you for comfirming the information I thought was true, that you can read. But what'l it be?"
"You've got to be kidding me. No espresso at the Espresso Jump?" I sighed for the millionth time that day and shook my head. Jokily I said, "Have any nachos lady?"
"Cheese or BBQ?" My mouth dropped to the ground. Well, if I were a cartoon it would've.
"BBQ."
"Any thing else?"
"That's fine." I left, defeated and speechless. Way to go! 1 to Espresso Jump waitress. 0 to Xander Lavelle Harris.
After my confrontation at the Espresso Jump, my ego took a dive and oddly decided to return to the hotel, no closer to planning any lessons to slayers. Maybe I could teach them how to speak Xander. Yeah! Class of Zeppo's 2000 and 9 or something like that. I opened the right door and to my surprise the scene had not changed with one exception. The cheese was cleaned up. I jumped for joy inside for my Slayer apprentices who didn't have to have a cheesey first week. But Wood and Alan still stood their ground. But now Wood was eatinbg an apple. The whole thing seemed too bizarre. I decided to visit Buffy for a non-cheese nacho party. I walked up to her door and knocked.
[Open to Buffy]
Temporary insanity that's what it is. What was I thinking getting involved with a Wolfram and Hart Liason!? Well, now I have to focus on what's ahead of me. Namely the teaching job Giles offered/gave me. Somehow, I have to think up lesson plans for defensive/carpentry classes. Odd mix. As I walked into the Hyperion from my date from Wolfram and Hell, I stopped by the kitchen to eat. Can't think on an epnty stomach! "Aha!", I gasped as I found the deli meats. Sandwich in hand, I walked up the stairs and headed to my room, passing Dawn's and Nicole's on the way. I thought to look in on them but remembered that they were grown up now. It would be like a big brother spying on his little sister's actions. Can't lose Dawn's trust. Not after her room makeover right out of "Xander Harris' Trading Spaces" or "While You Were Out" or one of those TLC shows Buffy used to watch.
I got to my room and unlocked the door. As I set my sandwich down on the inside desk, I closed the door. I walked over to the night table next to my bed and pulled out a yellow not pad. Walking back to my desk, I thought of certain lesson plans I could teach. Nothing was coming to mind! I glanced at the phone thinking to call Giles and throw in the towel but I couldn't quit now. I just had to think common sense. "Ok", I said to noone in particular. "If I were a young woman walking down a dark alleyway with creaky trashcans...creaky trashcans?!" I took a breath and sat down leaning on the back legs of the chair really trying to imagine. "Once again.", I said. "Young woman walking down a menacing alleyway, I would tackle the guy following me!" I opened my eyes and fell back in my moment of excitement. Pulling the chair up with me I grabbed the pen and wrote the word:
Tackle.
"This will be easy.", I said.
_______________________________________
Cheese was everywhere. All over the HQ's lobby, girls were coming in soon to train and live and they would be coming to a slippery cheesey mess. Well, that's me, Xander Zeppo Harris. Just a little more balance. That's all I needed but no! I had to play jenga with the nachos. As I retreated into my room to my horror I had realized I set up shop in a non shower room! I set Dawn and Nicole in shower rooms... I grabbed a towel and peeked my head outside and saw noone. As I crept towards Dawn's room I half fell, half slipped inside. I got up and ran into the shower slamming the door.
Now, I have to treat everyone to nachos. It was funny though. I turned on the tub and declothed. I then felt the temperature of the water while at the same time de-cheesing my hand. After it got to an acceptable temperature I turned on the shower and stepped inside. Cheese in my hair was another problem. Note to self: I thought. Teach girls to protect against projectile nachos. I stayed in there for a long time. The cheese in my hair finally let go and my hair regained it's shine. Wait, my hair never had shine! I had a permanent streak of cheese through my hair. I got out. wrapped a towel around me and wiped the fog off the window. I was a cheesey Rogue! No pun intended! One cheese streak plain as day! As I went for the door I saw that I had locked myself inside.
These old bathrooms can't be opened from the inside?! I stood their apprehensive on what might happen. There was a vent but too Mission Impossible. I guess I'll be the kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Again.
____________________________________
After the "shower incident" I stealthily returned to my room and got dressed. I sighed and decided clothes were an invention of godliness. After singing the praises of the clothes god I grabbed my jacket and my pad and headed out, making sure I locked my door so Dawn didn't do anything mischevious with Nicole. I walked down the steps and spotted Robin who was watching Alan in Giles' office. I nodded to him as I headed out of the building. It was only 8:00. Maybe starbucks is open. I looked both ways just like my mother told me when I was ... a younger age. Pen and pad in hand I strode down the sidewalk and I decided: the first coffe place I see I'll stop into.
It was called: The Espresso Jump. Deja vu struck me. I sighed from regret and nostalgia as I opened the door. Not many people were in there. I sat down and a waitress who might've passed for the crypt creeper's wife hobbled up to my table. I was surprised cobwebs weren't coming out of her ears. She held a pad in front of her and eyed mine. I know what she was thinking. I bet I could write so much better on that yellow pad. Well I wouldn't stand for theft and so I did just that. Stood up and glared. And realized, it was all in my head. I racked my brain for a cover up and all I could come up with was, "You resemble my bookie." She glared, her cold hard stare not marred by my comment.
"What'l it be Lucky?" I wanted to make a snarky comeback remark but she was so...old. "Well, feeling lucky, Lucky?" I frowned and sat back down.
"Um, one espresso." She shook her head. "What?" I asked. "I don't speak mime."
"No espresso."
"You're name is the Espresso Jump."
"Thank you for comfirming the information I thought was true, that you can read. But what'l it be?"
"You've got to be kidding me. No espresso at the Espresso Jump?" I sighed for the millionth time that day and shook my head. Jokily I said, "Have any nachos lady?"
"Cheese or BBQ?" My mouth dropped to the ground. Well, if I were a cartoon it would've.
"BBQ."
"Any thing else?"
"That's fine." I left, defeated and speechless. Way to go! 1 to Espresso Jump waitress. 0 to Xander Lavelle Harris.
After my confrontation at the Espresso Jump, my ego took a dive and oddly decided to return to the hotel, no closer to planning any lessons to slayers. Maybe I could teach them how to speak Xander. Yeah! Class of Zeppo's 2000 and 9 or something like that. I opened the right door and to my surprise the scene had not changed with one exception. The cheese was cleaned up. I jumped for joy inside for my Slayer apprentices who didn't have to have a cheesey first week. But Wood and Alan still stood their ground. But now Wood was eatinbg an apple. The whole thing seemed too bizarre. I decided to visit Buffy for a non-cheese nacho party. I walked up to her door and knocked.
[Open to Buffy]