And penguins shall rule the world
MBLAQ ot5, Crack+fluff; Gen; 1,418words
~Joon discovers the secret to world domination. It starts with a little black and white flightless bird. The rest of Mblaq is inadvertently drawn into this madness.
And penguins shall rule the world
It’s at times like these that Joon really thinks his brain is full of marvelous wonder. He has an epiphany. Naturally, he’s inclined to share it.
“I have an epiphany.” He announces proudly to the nearest person, who happens to be Thunder. This is usually not a good start, since epiphanies catch enthusiasm and a whole lot of chaos with Thunder’s ‘yeah why not, humor me’ attitude.
Thunder nods lightly, eyes not leaving the screen of the iPad on his hand. Joon takes that as a close enough sign of interest in the conversation to continue.
“I’ve discovered the answer to winning over children.” Joon whispers conspiratorially; this needs to be guarded with supreme secrecy.
“Sugar frosties.” Thunder replies immediately, barely batting an eyelid as his fingers swipe across the iPad contentedly.
Joon’s concentration is interrupted, “wha- No!” He takes a moment to compose himself, before uttering the golden word with utmost reverence. “Penguins.”
Thunder emits an odd sounding hacking cough and carefully places down the iPad on the coffee table. Joon hears him mutter, “This should be interesting.” but Joon doesn’t think Thunder understands the gravity of the diabolical idea.
“It’s not just Pororo-” Joon disregards Thunder’s dead-fish eyed look and repetition of the word ‘Pororo’.
“We’re talking global appeal here- it’s the hallyu wave-” Joon gets more passionate as the thought unfurls in his mind. “-for kids.”
Thunder nods along. Unfortunately, there is no sane person to stop this, and Joon continues gleefully, “See, you know that Pixar movie Happy Feet? The protagonist? A penguin. Our Lauren says that movie is a classic in her international school. And then Jung PD who brought his two-year-old son to Neverland? Said his kid loved the penguins the most. And then my distant niece! Is hooked on this multiplayer online role-playing game called Club Penguin!” Joon lights up brilliantly. “A trend that we must capitalize!”
“Great-” Thunder is momentarily distracted by a buzzing in his pocket. Joon watches as he fishes out the phone and looks at the screen, and then makes to stand up. “Great-” Thunder repeats to Joon and gestures at the iPad. “Why don’t you search for penguin ideas to incorporate into our next stage performance? I’m sure it’ll be a hit. In the meantime, I have to be-elsewhere.”
Joon thinks Thunder makes a wonderful listener for brainstorming ideas. Three minutes later Joon changes his mind when Seungho storms into the room (“smoke literally breathing from his nostrils!”) and shoots Joon a look of imminent death as he catches sight of his iPad propped on Joon’s lap.
~
“What is white and black and white and black and white and black?”
“A penguin rolling down a hill.” G.O and Thunder answer in monotone unison.
“Why only one? It could be a few penguins.” Seungho asks, partly because he’s neurotic, mostly because he’s bored with a sprained back and needs somebody to annoy.
“It wouldn’t work. They’ll crash into each other and it’ll be black black white black. Or something.” Joon replies from where he’s cross-legged at the table.
“It might, if the penguins are smart enough to roll out of each other’s path.” Thunder argues right back.
“Anyway!” Mir raises his voice above the disagreements, “So then what’s black and white and laughing?”
“What is?” G.O looks up from his book.
“The penguin that pushed the first penguin down the hill.” Thunder replies. Mir wilts in disappointment.
“It could be a penguin that’s being tickled.” Seungho adds.
“Then it’ll be white and yellow.” Joon states reasonably.
“No it won’t.” G.O. frowns. “What happens to the black?”
“It’s on its back with its feet upwards.” Joon replies with a patronizing look.
“That’s your assumption.” G.O says.
“Haven’t you played with tickle-me Elmo?”
“You have a sad childhood.” Mir adds helpfully.
“I also have insane bandmates.” G.O laments.
Seungho’s too busy laughing to agree with that statement.
~
Penguin Operation to Overtake the Planet is what Joon coins it. G.O merely elbows Seungho who’s practically off his chair in wheezing laughter.
“It’s a great name.” Thunder gives his thumbs worth, ignoring G.O’s glare in his direction. Joon’s smile beams impossibly brighter.
“You’d think so!” Joon opens a small pouch and starts handing out small ornaments. “And you’re all honorary members!”
Mir takes the first one and peers at it. It peers back at him. That being said, it was a delicately designed lapel pin: a dark blue and white penguin with Pororo-like rounded glasses. Beneath the penguin’s feet the club’s initials are proudly embellished in gold.
“Er, hyung, thanks but I’ll pass.” Mir kindly places the pin back on the table, as three other penguin pins join his abandoned penguin.
Joon deflates with a sigh, “I was hoping we could all wear it together on Star King. There’s a kid’s special for Children’s Day coming up.” He mumbles petulantly, “Twenty thousand won for one.”
There is a culpable silence, and then Seungho leans forward and retrieves his penguin pin (his has a little crown on it) with an elderly grunt. “I suppose we could keep it for future events.” Seungho makes a show of gingerly safekeeping it in his wallet. “But why steal the limelight from you? After all it’s your idea.”
It is four seconds after the door has closed and Joon has walked out with his own penguin lapel pin proudly affixed to the right collar edge of his polo tee, that G.O starts to open his mouth. “Maybe, I should go tell him-” Seungho and Mir elbow him in the ribs and shoulder respectively.
“I no speak good English.” Thunder remarks casually. “I have no idea these letters mean.” He fingers the penguin pin with a grin.
~
It comes as no surprise when Joon volunteers for a penguin suit during their next schedule to a children welfare shelter. Majority of the kids clamor all over him in excited voices when the five of them step into the small event hall in the building.
“World domination huh.” G.O mutters, as he suffers a blow to his shin by an overenthusiastic six-year-old. “Ow, watch it you-”
“Language!” Seungho forces a smile through gritted teeth, agilely ducking oncoming punches of delight from another kid.
“This is war-” G.O sings the line from one of their songs, and then tackles the six-year-old to the ground. He is immediately pounced on by other kids and buried in a mass of flailing limbs and arms and loud happy shrills.
Seungho edges away stealthily.
~
All in all, they escape relatively unscathed at the end of the schedule (aside from that slight abrasion just under Thunder’s eye, who waves it off with a comment about manly injuries complete with a flexing of his arm muscles).
It is the times like this that they really love their job, standing on stage after singing a few songs, and grinning widely at the kids who (mostly) beam back with gummy smiles. And then there’s that girl four rows over that will grow up to become a beauty and Mir has made her sign an agreement to marry his future son.
As they leave, Joon making the kids chant “Pororo” (which makes no sense but then again makes total sense seeing as it’s Joon), there is a disturbance in the air, and then the swarm occurs: kids standing up from where they were seated, running towards Joon for goodbye hugs, and goodbye kisses.
Seungho’s jaw drops, and Thunder just laughs.
“Well, world domination here we come.” G.O. grins affectionately as he slaps an arm over Mir, who grins back and runs to join in the hug-fest.
*Bonus
Joon walks in to the dance studio. “Hey Mir! Want to practice dance together?”
“Shh, I’m adopting puffles.” Mir replies, staring at his iPhone. “Damn this game is addictive.”
Joon peers at the screen behind Mir’s shoulder and sees a familiar igloo background from Club Penguin. He shouts in glee. “Friend me! I am a secret penguin agent! I can help you!”
Mir deadpans, “Hyung, you’re not supposed to go around telling other penguins that you’re a secret agent.”
“But we’re friends in real life!” Joon slaps Mir’s shoulder eagerly, “so it wouldn’t matter. Now let me show you the cheat codes…”
~
G.O. pushes open the door to their studio and spies Joon and Mir cackling away happily in the corner, iPhones in their hands.
In a split fraction of a second, G.O. makes the wisest decision of his day, and backs away very slowly, and quietly.
~Joon discovers the secret to world domination. It starts with a little black and white flightless bird. The rest of Mblaq is inadvertently drawn into this madness.
And penguins shall rule the world
It’s at times like these that Joon really thinks his brain is full of marvelous wonder. He has an epiphany. Naturally, he’s inclined to share it.
“I have an epiphany.” He announces proudly to the nearest person, who happens to be Thunder. This is usually not a good start, since epiphanies catch enthusiasm and a whole lot of chaos with Thunder’s ‘yeah why not, humor me’ attitude.
Thunder nods lightly, eyes not leaving the screen of the iPad on his hand. Joon takes that as a close enough sign of interest in the conversation to continue.
“I’ve discovered the answer to winning over children.” Joon whispers conspiratorially; this needs to be guarded with supreme secrecy.
“Sugar frosties.” Thunder replies immediately, barely batting an eyelid as his fingers swipe across the iPad contentedly.
Joon’s concentration is interrupted, “wha- No!” He takes a moment to compose himself, before uttering the golden word with utmost reverence. “Penguins.”
Thunder emits an odd sounding hacking cough and carefully places down the iPad on the coffee table. Joon hears him mutter, “This should be interesting.” but Joon doesn’t think Thunder understands the gravity of the diabolical idea.
“It’s not just Pororo-” Joon disregards Thunder’s dead-fish eyed look and repetition of the word ‘Pororo’.
“We’re talking global appeal here- it’s the hallyu wave-” Joon gets more passionate as the thought unfurls in his mind. “-for kids.”
Thunder nods along. Unfortunately, there is no sane person to stop this, and Joon continues gleefully, “See, you know that Pixar movie Happy Feet? The protagonist? A penguin. Our Lauren says that movie is a classic in her international school. And then Jung PD who brought his two-year-old son to Neverland? Said his kid loved the penguins the most. And then my distant niece! Is hooked on this multiplayer online role-playing game called Club Penguin!” Joon lights up brilliantly. “A trend that we must capitalize!”
“Great-” Thunder is momentarily distracted by a buzzing in his pocket. Joon watches as he fishes out the phone and looks at the screen, and then makes to stand up. “Great-” Thunder repeats to Joon and gestures at the iPad. “Why don’t you search for penguin ideas to incorporate into our next stage performance? I’m sure it’ll be a hit. In the meantime, I have to be-elsewhere.”
Joon thinks Thunder makes a wonderful listener for brainstorming ideas. Three minutes later Joon changes his mind when Seungho storms into the room (“smoke literally breathing from his nostrils!”) and shoots Joon a look of imminent death as he catches sight of his iPad propped on Joon’s lap.
~
“What is white and black and white and black and white and black?”
“A penguin rolling down a hill.” G.O and Thunder answer in monotone unison.
“Why only one? It could be a few penguins.” Seungho asks, partly because he’s neurotic, mostly because he’s bored with a sprained back and needs somebody to annoy.
“It wouldn’t work. They’ll crash into each other and it’ll be black black white black. Or something.” Joon replies from where he’s cross-legged at the table.
“It might, if the penguins are smart enough to roll out of each other’s path.” Thunder argues right back.
“Anyway!” Mir raises his voice above the disagreements, “So then what’s black and white and laughing?”
“What is?” G.O looks up from his book.
“The penguin that pushed the first penguin down the hill.” Thunder replies. Mir wilts in disappointment.
“It could be a penguin that’s being tickled.” Seungho adds.
“Then it’ll be white and yellow.” Joon states reasonably.
“No it won’t.” G.O. frowns. “What happens to the black?”
“It’s on its back with its feet upwards.” Joon replies with a patronizing look.
“That’s your assumption.” G.O says.
“Haven’t you played with tickle-me Elmo?”
“You have a sad childhood.” Mir adds helpfully.
“I also have insane bandmates.” G.O laments.
Seungho’s too busy laughing to agree with that statement.
~
Penguin Operation to Overtake the Planet is what Joon coins it. G.O merely elbows Seungho who’s practically off his chair in wheezing laughter.
“It’s a great name.” Thunder gives his thumbs worth, ignoring G.O’s glare in his direction. Joon’s smile beams impossibly brighter.
“You’d think so!” Joon opens a small pouch and starts handing out small ornaments. “And you’re all honorary members!”
Mir takes the first one and peers at it. It peers back at him. That being said, it was a delicately designed lapel pin: a dark blue and white penguin with Pororo-like rounded glasses. Beneath the penguin’s feet the club’s initials are proudly embellished in gold.
“Er, hyung, thanks but I’ll pass.” Mir kindly places the pin back on the table, as three other penguin pins join his abandoned penguin.
Joon deflates with a sigh, “I was hoping we could all wear it together on Star King. There’s a kid’s special for Children’s Day coming up.” He mumbles petulantly, “Twenty thousand won for one.”
There is a culpable silence, and then Seungho leans forward and retrieves his penguin pin (his has a little crown on it) with an elderly grunt. “I suppose we could keep it for future events.” Seungho makes a show of gingerly safekeeping it in his wallet. “But why steal the limelight from you? After all it’s your idea.”
It is four seconds after the door has closed and Joon has walked out with his own penguin lapel pin proudly affixed to the right collar edge of his polo tee, that G.O starts to open his mouth. “Maybe, I should go tell him-” Seungho and Mir elbow him in the ribs and shoulder respectively.
“I no speak good English.” Thunder remarks casually. “I have no idea these letters mean.” He fingers the penguin pin with a grin.
~
It comes as no surprise when Joon volunteers for a penguin suit during their next schedule to a children welfare shelter. Majority of the kids clamor all over him in excited voices when the five of them step into the small event hall in the building.
“World domination huh.” G.O mutters, as he suffers a blow to his shin by an overenthusiastic six-year-old. “Ow, watch it you-”
“Language!” Seungho forces a smile through gritted teeth, agilely ducking oncoming punches of delight from another kid.
“This is war-” G.O sings the line from one of their songs, and then tackles the six-year-old to the ground. He is immediately pounced on by other kids and buried in a mass of flailing limbs and arms and loud happy shrills.
Seungho edges away stealthily.
~
All in all, they escape relatively unscathed at the end of the schedule (aside from that slight abrasion just under Thunder’s eye, who waves it off with a comment about manly injuries complete with a flexing of his arm muscles).
It is the times like this that they really love their job, standing on stage after singing a few songs, and grinning widely at the kids who (mostly) beam back with gummy smiles. And then there’s that girl four rows over that will grow up to become a beauty and Mir has made her sign an agreement to marry his future son.
As they leave, Joon making the kids chant “Pororo” (which makes no sense but then again makes total sense seeing as it’s Joon), there is a disturbance in the air, and then the swarm occurs: kids standing up from where they were seated, running towards Joon for goodbye hugs, and goodbye kisses.
Seungho’s jaw drops, and Thunder just laughs.
“Well, world domination here we come.” G.O. grins affectionately as he slaps an arm over Mir, who grins back and runs to join in the hug-fest.
*Bonus
Joon walks in to the dance studio. “Hey Mir! Want to practice dance together?”
“Shh, I’m adopting puffles.” Mir replies, staring at his iPhone. “Damn this game is addictive.”
Joon peers at the screen behind Mir’s shoulder and sees a familiar igloo background from Club Penguin. He shouts in glee. “Friend me! I am a secret penguin agent! I can help you!”
Mir deadpans, “Hyung, you’re not supposed to go around telling other penguins that you’re a secret agent.”
“But we’re friends in real life!” Joon slaps Mir’s shoulder eagerly, “so it wouldn’t matter. Now let me show you the cheat codes…”
~
G.O. pushes open the door to their studio and spies Joon and Mir cackling away happily in the corner, iPhones in their hands.
In a split fraction of a second, G.O. makes the wisest decision of his day, and backs away very slowly, and quietly.