drabble: unresolved
Drabble: Unresolved
Kyuhyun/Sungmin
When Kyuhyun sees Sungmin lying there, he has such a violent sense of dejavu that his knees give out, and he falls against the van somehow, rather than crashing to the ground. He hears, as if from another dimension, the shriek as Ryeowook comes around the van and into view, is vaguely aware of the muffled battle as someone (Zhoumi from the sounds of it) grabs him, keeps him from running to where Sungmin is laying and Siwon is kneeling beside him. He has a brief thought that Ryeowook is probably hurting Zhoumi, that Zhoumi may be injured somewhere else himself, but he walks away anyway, away from the struggle.
Miraculously Sungmin is alive, his eyes blinking a silent morse code at Siwon, who is, as usual, taking charge, but patently ignoring the obvious - that Sungmin is a goner, that he has gone through the windshield and every angle of him is twisted and wrong. There isn't even a waver in Siwon's voice as he hold Sungmin's hand, tells him confidently "You're okay, hyung, you'll be fine. Just hang on, hang on until the ambulance gets here." The only hint that he knows he is lying are his hands, which the razor sharp perception borne of adrenaline allows Kyuhyun to see are shaking almost violently. Siwon is searching for a way to help, an entry into the mass of blood and wounds, but he settles for ripping off his white costume jacket and laying it over Sungmin so carefully, as if he is a newborn laid down for his first nap.
Sungmin, for his part, keeps blinking, and the next thing Kyuhyun knows he is also kneeling there, on the other side, thinking of Eunhyuk, thinking of the show they'd just filmed, thinking of pain. Sungmin's lips move, but the wheezing sound that comes out of his obviously punctured lung is so awful that Kyuhyun wishes he would stop. Siwon says it for him. "Don't try to talk, hyung, please, just hang on. The ambulance is already on its way, you'll be-" He breaks off, unable to finish, and Kyuhyun knows that it is now or never.
"Ya- Sungmin-a. It's me, it's Kyuhyun." It seems to take years for Sungmin's eyes to move, to flicker away from Siwon's handsome face, which is imploding spectacularly before their eyes. Kyuhyun is not sure what his own face looks like, but he is shocked by his voice, which sounds light, teasing, amused. "What is this? What are you doing? Don't tell me you're giving up just like that."
He is not sure what he is saying because he is trying so hard to read Sungmin's face. There is, perhaps, an edge of sympathy in his eyes, but no pain yet, somehow. "This is a joke, right? A practical joke. When are we going to make up? I'll schedule us for the next Intimate Note, I - I have a lot to say."
A bright red drop of blood appears at the corner of Sungmin's mouth, hangs there, and it takes all of Kyuhyun's effort not to throw up. Instead, he just keeps talking. "Don't, don't do this, please, I'm not ready." He almost laughs at the ludicrousness of that last statement, at his self-centeredness that knows no bounds, but he means it. He is not ready. "I've been trying to figure out what to say for months now. I've been trying to apologize, I've been trying to explain. You can't- you can't go until I figure it out."
Sungmin's eyes wander, momentarily, to a place above Kyuhyun, and he begins to wonder if the man can even hear him, but then he blinks and coughs, and his eyes are locked so tightly to Kyuhyun's that it takes an immense effort not to look away. "This is my thing, remember? I'm the one who gets into car accidents."
He becomes aware of a siren, and it sounds close, but when he makes the mistake of glancing down at Sungmin's body, at the blood that has soaked through Siwon's jacket, he knows that it does not matter. "Sungmin-a, I'm sorry. I'm shit at apologies, so that's it. I love you, even if it wasn't the way-- You were mine and you were first. That's all I can give you, but you will always be first."
He can hear that every edge has gone out of his voice. "I love you. I love you and this will never be the same. I will never be the same, you have to know that. You have to believe me."
He feels like he is the one who is dying, begging absolution from a priest, but all Sungmin can give him is a smile before his eyes shut.
Kyuhyun/Sungmin
When Kyuhyun sees Sungmin lying there, he has such a violent sense of dejavu that his knees give out, and he falls against the van somehow, rather than crashing to the ground. He hears, as if from another dimension, the shriek as Ryeowook comes around the van and into view, is vaguely aware of the muffled battle as someone (Zhoumi from the sounds of it) grabs him, keeps him from running to where Sungmin is laying and Siwon is kneeling beside him. He has a brief thought that Ryeowook is probably hurting Zhoumi, that Zhoumi may be injured somewhere else himself, but he walks away anyway, away from the struggle.
Miraculously Sungmin is alive, his eyes blinking a silent morse code at Siwon, who is, as usual, taking charge, but patently ignoring the obvious - that Sungmin is a goner, that he has gone through the windshield and every angle of him is twisted and wrong. There isn't even a waver in Siwon's voice as he hold Sungmin's hand, tells him confidently "You're okay, hyung, you'll be fine. Just hang on, hang on until the ambulance gets here." The only hint that he knows he is lying are his hands, which the razor sharp perception borne of adrenaline allows Kyuhyun to see are shaking almost violently. Siwon is searching for a way to help, an entry into the mass of blood and wounds, but he settles for ripping off his white costume jacket and laying it over Sungmin so carefully, as if he is a newborn laid down for his first nap.
Sungmin, for his part, keeps blinking, and the next thing Kyuhyun knows he is also kneeling there, on the other side, thinking of Eunhyuk, thinking of the show they'd just filmed, thinking of pain. Sungmin's lips move, but the wheezing sound that comes out of his obviously punctured lung is so awful that Kyuhyun wishes he would stop. Siwon says it for him. "Don't try to talk, hyung, please, just hang on. The ambulance is already on its way, you'll be-" He breaks off, unable to finish, and Kyuhyun knows that it is now or never.
"Ya- Sungmin-a. It's me, it's Kyuhyun." It seems to take years for Sungmin's eyes to move, to flicker away from Siwon's handsome face, which is imploding spectacularly before their eyes. Kyuhyun is not sure what his own face looks like, but he is shocked by his voice, which sounds light, teasing, amused. "What is this? What are you doing? Don't tell me you're giving up just like that."
He is not sure what he is saying because he is trying so hard to read Sungmin's face. There is, perhaps, an edge of sympathy in his eyes, but no pain yet, somehow. "This is a joke, right? A practical joke. When are we going to make up? I'll schedule us for the next Intimate Note, I - I have a lot to say."
A bright red drop of blood appears at the corner of Sungmin's mouth, hangs there, and it takes all of Kyuhyun's effort not to throw up. Instead, he just keeps talking. "Don't, don't do this, please, I'm not ready." He almost laughs at the ludicrousness of that last statement, at his self-centeredness that knows no bounds, but he means it. He is not ready. "I've been trying to figure out what to say for months now. I've been trying to apologize, I've been trying to explain. You can't- you can't go until I figure it out."
Sungmin's eyes wander, momentarily, to a place above Kyuhyun, and he begins to wonder if the man can even hear him, but then he blinks and coughs, and his eyes are locked so tightly to Kyuhyun's that it takes an immense effort not to look away. "This is my thing, remember? I'm the one who gets into car accidents."
He becomes aware of a siren, and it sounds close, but when he makes the mistake of glancing down at Sungmin's body, at the blood that has soaked through Siwon's jacket, he knows that it does not matter. "Sungmin-a, I'm sorry. I'm shit at apologies, so that's it. I love you, even if it wasn't the way-- You were mine and you were first. That's all I can give you, but you will always be first."
He can hear that every edge has gone out of his voice. "I love you. I love you and this will never be the same. I will never be the same, you have to know that. You have to believe me."
He feels like he is the one who is dying, begging absolution from a priest, but all Sungmin can give him is a smile before his eyes shut.