Runaway 003
runaway 003
onew/minho
2,668
PG
previous: { 001 | 002 }
So. This is just something I randomly started to write. You could say I started writing it when I felt frustrated with many things and just wrote it for my personal amusement and with no real purpose. lol.
(Once again was asked to post today by two people~ Kitibear~ and enzeru_no_innen~ ^^;) p.s. someone remind me to post this to comms tomorrow (lol)...
Jinki finds himself asking Kibum, and he feels surprised when Kibum laughs in his face as if he’s told the biggest joke.
“Oh, is this about Minho?” Kibum mumbles with a knowing smile.
“What about him?” Jinki frowns.
“Oh everyone knows he has a massive crush on you. I actually felt sorry for him when you came in with that hickey on your neck, we all hoped it was him. But he said in the end he went home and didn’t go to your place at all.” Jinki stiffens realising how little his privacy really is.
“Everyone except me,” Jinki glanced down, “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“Would you hyung?” Kibum raised one eyebrow and Jinki winced realising the stupidity of that question.
“Okay, okay I’m an idiot.” Jinki groaned and sat down opposite Kibum. Sucking in a deep breath he finally decides to let the words out even if it’s the wrong person.
“It was Minho.”
“What was?”
“The hickey,” Jinki whispers, “he stayed over that night.” Jinki lifts his eyes slowly, biting his lip as he sees the look Kibum shoots him.
“Oh fuck, the ice prince cracked,” Kibum whispers and Jinki frowns.
“But why then is he looking all sad? What, you kicked him out? Why the fuck did you do that?” Jinki winces at the tone.
“Because… he knows too much about me.”
“So? Does he hate you for what he knows?” Kibum asks and Jinki blinks remembering the way Minho had studied his house.
“Did he push you away and call you a freak?”
“No,” Jinki shakes his head.
“Did he stare with contempt at you?”
“No, he uh, said he really liked me.” Jinki whispers, “and the uh, sex was amazing.” Jinki admits, although he won’t admit that he’s dreamt of Minho for the last few nights.
“You’re a fucking cold bastard, Lee Jinki.” Kibum sighs, “Why are we even friends? I never imagined you to be a heart breaker.”
“Maybe,” Jinki bites his lip, feeling that sense of panic welling up again, “Maybe I can fix it?”
*
“Hyung, what is going on?”
“I just…” Jinki fidgets playing with his bag as he stands in Taemin’s doorway.
“Wanted to ask what is up with Minho?”
“Oh?” Taemin frowns and then opens the door wider, revealing Jonghyun sprawled across the couch. He hasn’t noticed Jinki yet, and Jinki winces seeing the show Jonghyun is watching, all the scantily clad girls.
“What do you mean hyung?”
“Well you obviously knew, he was lying to me.” Jinki slides his shoes off, “I mean that night,”
“What?” Taemin is frowning when Jinki looks up.
“Pardon.”
“Huh?” Taemin shakes his head at Jinki, and Jinki sighs softly.
“Taemin-ah, you should say ‘pardon’, not ‘what’.” Jinki reaches over to ruffle his cousin’s hair affectionately, smile slipping when Taemin squirms away.
“Hyung, I’m not fifteen anymore, and what are you talking about Minho-hyung lying?”
Jinki breathes out slowly and then explains it to Taemin who looks surprised, but it’s finally Jonghyun who gives Jinki an answer.
“Well you know he likes you,” Jonghyun leans over the side of the couch, “A lot.”
“Yeah,” Jinki fidgets and then realises it’s getting too personal to talk about in front of them.
“Um, listen, never mind.” Jinki heads back to the door, realising this is hopeless.
“Hyung, it happened when he went to your office and saw you again. He didn’t realise it was you at first, and he kept telling me about this smiley gorgeous guy in his office, except that he was as cold as ice. That he wouldn’t get close to anyone, and then I went to see who the guy was and I saw you, hyung.” Jinki froze in his tracks.
“Since then, he’s been doing stuff to try and make you soften towards him.” Jinki lifted his head, wondering what things.
“You know that Christmas present I gave you hyung? The one that I said someone gave me but I thought it would suit you better?” Jinki blinks and then nods, he still has that shirt hanging in his cupboard for a “good” occasion although Jinki has no idea when he will wear it.
“It was from Minho?” Jinki supplies, biting his lip and then tilting his head to the side as Taemin smiles and nods, before he continues to explain everything that Minho had done for Jinki. Jinki is shocked to hear that Minho has been helping him out with so many things at work. Jinki can still remember the day that someone screwed up the proofed article and it had to be redone, but before Jinki had started it had mysteriously reappeared on his computer. Minho had talked to the IT guys and persuaded them to recover the file for Jinki, and all this time he had just thought it was a glitch.
*
“Minho, can we talk?” Jinki stands right in front of Minho’s office, it was surprisingly hard to track down. And Jinki realises why he never saw Minho, he wears his glasses in the office, making him look different but surprisingly hot. Jinki hears a whisper in his head that he wants to have sex with Minho in those glasses, in fact it’s kind of hard to keep his hands to himself as he stands there. It scares Jinki he’s never been touchy feely, so he fidgets rubbing his hands together nervously, and he can see Minho is surprised. Not that Jinki blames him he has ignored him for two weeks after all.
“Hyung?”
“My place,” Jinki mumbles firmly, trying to ignore the stares and he wishes he had spoken a little quieter, “tonight. We need to talk.” Jinki tries to stay serious, but his lips have a mind of their own, and the little bastards that they are, the slip up into a soft smile, one that Minho mirrors and Jinki feels so much hope in his heart.
Maybe he can learn to let someone in? But first Jinki feels like he needs to learn how to trust Minho and that he hopes can start with tonight. The rest of the day passes in a blur and when Jinki makes his way down to his car, he finds Minho waiting just beside his car. Feeling awkward Jinki lets him in, remembering that Minho usually bikes to work but his bike has a problem and he’s been getting a lift or taking the bus.
“I’m sorry,” Minho apologises, “It was wrong of me that night, I’m sorry I lied.”
“I know, and I’m sorry too,” Jinki concentrates on the road ahead he doesn’t want to risk looking at Minho.
“I had no idea you did all that stuff, for me.” Jinki bites his lip, “Like all the food you’ve got for me, and coffee’s, I’m so sorry and thank you. But it has to stop Minho.”
“I just wanted to help you out,” Minho explains, “please hyung.”
Jinki can’t help but turn and he feels himself drawn into those damn eyes and it’s hard to turn away, but he doesn’t want to crash.
“Minho, can we continue this later?” Jinki is thankful for the silence but then he wonders what on Earth he is doing. Why did he invite Minho over tonight? Jinki feels so nervous and worried the rest of the drive home seems to be twice as stressful as usual.
*
“Hyung, do you remember last year you gave a speech at work?”
“Yeah, I gave several I think,” Jinki looks up from where he is setting the table.
“They were good,” Minho nods, “I enjoyed them a lot. The one thing I remember thinking was odd was how you distanced yourself in them. You left out most traces of your personality, and I wondered what happened to make you like that.”
“Minho, that’s my business,” Jinki shakes his head as he turns back to get the rice.
“I know, but I hope one day you’ll trust me enough to tell me.” Minho smiles over at Jinki, and Jinki wants to shout at him to stop it because it’s distracting.
“Why did you invite me over?”
“Because I felt bad for ignoring you, and I’m sorry.” Jinki bites his lip, “for how I treated you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it’s gonna take some time.” Jinki pauses and he has no idea how he should say what he needs to say.
Jinki looks up when he feels a hand on his shoulder and then Minho is hugging him gently, arms warm around his middle. Jinki can’t help but shut his eyes wondering why it hurts so much but at the same time he never wants Minho to let go.
“Hyung, it’s fine.” Minho whispers into his skin and Jinki shivers, feeling Minho’s words tracing down his skin like a very faint touch.
*
It’s after Minho leaves that Jinki feels the most troubled. They didn’t have sex, or even kiss and that should comfort Jinki but instead he worries about what he has done. Jinki can see a snowball rolling across the ground, and he can see that it’s just going to get bigger. It makes him feel sick, as he worries about what he has set in motion.
The night he tosses and turns in his sleep stressing when he realises the chink in his armour is wider. It’s getting bigger and that scares him because he doesn’t want to get hurt again. It takes several sleepless nights and being a zombie at work before Jinki suddenly understands and he wants to weep when he realises it.
All those years ago, Jinki’s heart was torn to shreds and because of it he closed himself off for protection. The hurt he suffered then had always overshadowed his life. But he realises that by doing that, he’s been allowing that bastard to still have a hold on him. Because he never moved on, by locking himself away he let that asshole continue to control him. Jinki swallows and then falls asleep easier than he has for days. For once Jinki realises he is looking forward to work, to seeing Minho again.
They’ve been eating lunch together out in the courtyard. Jinki always admires the way the sun shines across Minho’s hair and lightens his eyes so they seem to sparkle like jewels. It scared Jinki when he first realised how much he was starting to rely on Minho, although he figured he had been relying on Minho all the time without realising it.
At first Jinki wants to tell Minho all about it the next time he sees him, but instead he finds himself staying silent until he has figured out his feelings. Jinki just concentrates on spending time with Minho, he still doesn’t open up much, but he lets Minho into his house and that for now is better than nothing Jinki thinks.
In the blink of an eye, Jinki realises it’s been two months since their friendship formed. At times Jinki thinks it’s a waste because he thinks it’s now too late for anything more to develop between them. But then Jinki still hopes that Minho still likes him that way because he wants to try so badly and work things out between them. If Minho can accept him the way he is, then he will do his best to try.
*
“Minho, you know when we had sex?” Jinki asks leaning in the doorway when he hears Minho start coughing, looking surprised at being asked that before he’s even inside Jinki’s house.
“Hyung?” Minho’s eyes are watery and wide open, he looks like he’s been crying but Jinki knows it’s the coughing. Jinki opens the door wider so Minho can come inside, and he watches as Minho slips his shoes off.
“You said before we had sex that you couldn’t stand it? What couldn’t you stand? I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while.”
“The way you shut yourself off from everyone,” Minho frowned straightening up and stepping up into the house, “I thought you knew that.”
“No,” Jinki bit his lip, “I realised it was stupid of me to do that.”
“Hyung, what is this? What’s going on?” Minho blinks as he walks into Jinki’s living room. The plain white walls have been decorated with tinsel, the house looks ready for a party. With balloons and streamers and Jinki suddenly feels pathetic. His idea was so lame he thinks as he watched Minho glancing around the room with surprise.
“It’s been two months,” Jinki can feel his heart racing and he feels so fucking scared about what he’s going to do. But Minho is turning to grin across at him, his warm hands reaching forward to grasp Jinki’s hands tightly.
“Hyung, I love you,” Minho smiles and before Jinki can even think to respond, Minho leans forward and kisses him. It’s gentle and Jinki can feel his heart strumming away as Minho’s lips move softly against his and for once Jinki thinks he’s made the right decision.
“Even though I haven’t told you,” Jinki mumbles when Minho tugs him over to the couch.
“Of course,” Minho clutches Jinki’s hand, and it feels like he’s holding on as tight as Jinki as if they’re both afraid the boat will capsize. Somehow the words float up and Jinki can’t find it in himself to hold them back. He hates himself for trying to celebrate and then bringing it all crashing down with his depressing life.
“My ex-boyfriend said he loved me, and I’d do so much stuff for him. But in the end when he got drunk he would get violent and angry. He never hit me but he came close, and I just accepted it because he loved me. I accepted the stupid things he told me, how I should dress properly and speak politely to people. How I should never reveal my true self except to him. I don’t know why I even listened but somehow I did.” Jinki shut his eyes, he couldn’t face Minho right now.
“But in the end, he was cheating on me anyway. And he broke my heart but somehow I kept locking myself away. You know I never even realised what I was doing was making me so unhappy, or that it was because of him until recently. I wouldn’t have realised it without you.” Jinki wants to open his eyes, but he feels scared because this is more than he’s ever told anyone else. But then he feels Minho against him, pulling Jinki right into his arms and it scares him even more because he can feel his hopes rising up like a bird soaring freely into the sky.
“Hyung,” Minho’s voice is a faint whisper soothing Jinki’s ears, “Hyung’s it’s okay, I understand.” Jinki wants to cry more than he has for a long time when he feels Minho’s hands cradling around his head. A part of him wants to scream that Minho can’t understand because how could Jinki convey the true extent of his feelings in those brief words. But Jinki can’t bear to say another word instead he just clings to Minho wondering how he ended up like this.
They pass the night like that, and in the early morning light when Jinki wakes up on the couch cradled against Minho he feels happier than he has for months. He glances around the room and sees the wasted party decorations but somehow it doesn’t matter that they didn’t celebrate, and Jinki feels more secure than he has for years even though it feels like all the armour protecting him is gone.
Jinki lies there and studies Minho’s face, feeling a little sad when he realises that they haven’t done anything sexual. It makes him wonder if he’s ruined the chance of something like that happening between them. Maybe they can only be friends right now, at first it hurts but the longer Jinki lies there the more he comes to accept it.
*
And this... is completely unedited... sorry for that :c *lazy* lol...
onew/minho
2,668
PG
previous: { 001 | 002 }
So. This is just something I randomly started to write. You could say I started writing it when I felt frustrated with many things and just wrote it for my personal amusement and with no real purpose. lol.
(Once again was asked to post today by two people~ Kitibear~ and enzeru_no_innen~ ^^;) p.s. someone remind me to post this to comms tomorrow (lol)...
Jinki finds himself asking Kibum, and he feels surprised when Kibum laughs in his face as if he’s told the biggest joke.
“Oh, is this about Minho?” Kibum mumbles with a knowing smile.
“What about him?” Jinki frowns.
“Oh everyone knows he has a massive crush on you. I actually felt sorry for him when you came in with that hickey on your neck, we all hoped it was him. But he said in the end he went home and didn’t go to your place at all.” Jinki stiffens realising how little his privacy really is.
“Everyone except me,” Jinki glanced down, “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“Would you hyung?” Kibum raised one eyebrow and Jinki winced realising the stupidity of that question.
“Okay, okay I’m an idiot.” Jinki groaned and sat down opposite Kibum. Sucking in a deep breath he finally decides to let the words out even if it’s the wrong person.
“It was Minho.”
“What was?”
“The hickey,” Jinki whispers, “he stayed over that night.” Jinki lifts his eyes slowly, biting his lip as he sees the look Kibum shoots him.
“Oh fuck, the ice prince cracked,” Kibum whispers and Jinki frowns.
“But why then is he looking all sad? What, you kicked him out? Why the fuck did you do that?” Jinki winces at the tone.
“Because… he knows too much about me.”
“So? Does he hate you for what he knows?” Kibum asks and Jinki blinks remembering the way Minho had studied his house.
“Did he push you away and call you a freak?”
“No,” Jinki shakes his head.
“Did he stare with contempt at you?”
“No, he uh, said he really liked me.” Jinki whispers, “and the uh, sex was amazing.” Jinki admits, although he won’t admit that he’s dreamt of Minho for the last few nights.
“You’re a fucking cold bastard, Lee Jinki.” Kibum sighs, “Why are we even friends? I never imagined you to be a heart breaker.”
“Maybe,” Jinki bites his lip, feeling that sense of panic welling up again, “Maybe I can fix it?”
*
“Hyung, what is going on?”
“I just…” Jinki fidgets playing with his bag as he stands in Taemin’s doorway.
“Wanted to ask what is up with Minho?”
“Oh?” Taemin frowns and then opens the door wider, revealing Jonghyun sprawled across the couch. He hasn’t noticed Jinki yet, and Jinki winces seeing the show Jonghyun is watching, all the scantily clad girls.
“What do you mean hyung?”
“Well you obviously knew, he was lying to me.” Jinki slides his shoes off, “I mean that night,”
“What?” Taemin is frowning when Jinki looks up.
“Pardon.”
“Huh?” Taemin shakes his head at Jinki, and Jinki sighs softly.
“Taemin-ah, you should say ‘pardon’, not ‘what’.” Jinki reaches over to ruffle his cousin’s hair affectionately, smile slipping when Taemin squirms away.
“Hyung, I’m not fifteen anymore, and what are you talking about Minho-hyung lying?”
Jinki breathes out slowly and then explains it to Taemin who looks surprised, but it’s finally Jonghyun who gives Jinki an answer.
“Well you know he likes you,” Jonghyun leans over the side of the couch, “A lot.”
“Yeah,” Jinki fidgets and then realises it’s getting too personal to talk about in front of them.
“Um, listen, never mind.” Jinki heads back to the door, realising this is hopeless.
“Hyung, it happened when he went to your office and saw you again. He didn’t realise it was you at first, and he kept telling me about this smiley gorgeous guy in his office, except that he was as cold as ice. That he wouldn’t get close to anyone, and then I went to see who the guy was and I saw you, hyung.” Jinki froze in his tracks.
“Since then, he’s been doing stuff to try and make you soften towards him.” Jinki lifted his head, wondering what things.
“You know that Christmas present I gave you hyung? The one that I said someone gave me but I thought it would suit you better?” Jinki blinks and then nods, he still has that shirt hanging in his cupboard for a “good” occasion although Jinki has no idea when he will wear it.
“It was from Minho?” Jinki supplies, biting his lip and then tilting his head to the side as Taemin smiles and nods, before he continues to explain everything that Minho had done for Jinki. Jinki is shocked to hear that Minho has been helping him out with so many things at work. Jinki can still remember the day that someone screwed up the proofed article and it had to be redone, but before Jinki had started it had mysteriously reappeared on his computer. Minho had talked to the IT guys and persuaded them to recover the file for Jinki, and all this time he had just thought it was a glitch.
*
“Minho, can we talk?” Jinki stands right in front of Minho’s office, it was surprisingly hard to track down. And Jinki realises why he never saw Minho, he wears his glasses in the office, making him look different but surprisingly hot. Jinki hears a whisper in his head that he wants to have sex with Minho in those glasses, in fact it’s kind of hard to keep his hands to himself as he stands there. It scares Jinki he’s never been touchy feely, so he fidgets rubbing his hands together nervously, and he can see Minho is surprised. Not that Jinki blames him he has ignored him for two weeks after all.
“Hyung?”
“My place,” Jinki mumbles firmly, trying to ignore the stares and he wishes he had spoken a little quieter, “tonight. We need to talk.” Jinki tries to stay serious, but his lips have a mind of their own, and the little bastards that they are, the slip up into a soft smile, one that Minho mirrors and Jinki feels so much hope in his heart.
Maybe he can learn to let someone in? But first Jinki feels like he needs to learn how to trust Minho and that he hopes can start with tonight. The rest of the day passes in a blur and when Jinki makes his way down to his car, he finds Minho waiting just beside his car. Feeling awkward Jinki lets him in, remembering that Minho usually bikes to work but his bike has a problem and he’s been getting a lift or taking the bus.
“I’m sorry,” Minho apologises, “It was wrong of me that night, I’m sorry I lied.”
“I know, and I’m sorry too,” Jinki concentrates on the road ahead he doesn’t want to risk looking at Minho.
“I had no idea you did all that stuff, for me.” Jinki bites his lip, “Like all the food you’ve got for me, and coffee’s, I’m so sorry and thank you. But it has to stop Minho.”
“I just wanted to help you out,” Minho explains, “please hyung.”
Jinki can’t help but turn and he feels himself drawn into those damn eyes and it’s hard to turn away, but he doesn’t want to crash.
“Minho, can we continue this later?” Jinki is thankful for the silence but then he wonders what on Earth he is doing. Why did he invite Minho over tonight? Jinki feels so nervous and worried the rest of the drive home seems to be twice as stressful as usual.
*
“Hyung, do you remember last year you gave a speech at work?”
“Yeah, I gave several I think,” Jinki looks up from where he is setting the table.
“They were good,” Minho nods, “I enjoyed them a lot. The one thing I remember thinking was odd was how you distanced yourself in them. You left out most traces of your personality, and I wondered what happened to make you like that.”
“Minho, that’s my business,” Jinki shakes his head as he turns back to get the rice.
“I know, but I hope one day you’ll trust me enough to tell me.” Minho smiles over at Jinki, and Jinki wants to shout at him to stop it because it’s distracting.
“Why did you invite me over?”
“Because I felt bad for ignoring you, and I’m sorry.” Jinki bites his lip, “for how I treated you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it’s gonna take some time.” Jinki pauses and he has no idea how he should say what he needs to say.
Jinki looks up when he feels a hand on his shoulder and then Minho is hugging him gently, arms warm around his middle. Jinki can’t help but shut his eyes wondering why it hurts so much but at the same time he never wants Minho to let go.
“Hyung, it’s fine.” Minho whispers into his skin and Jinki shivers, feeling Minho’s words tracing down his skin like a very faint touch.
*
It’s after Minho leaves that Jinki feels the most troubled. They didn’t have sex, or even kiss and that should comfort Jinki but instead he worries about what he has done. Jinki can see a snowball rolling across the ground, and he can see that it’s just going to get bigger. It makes him feel sick, as he worries about what he has set in motion.
The night he tosses and turns in his sleep stressing when he realises the chink in his armour is wider. It’s getting bigger and that scares him because he doesn’t want to get hurt again. It takes several sleepless nights and being a zombie at work before Jinki suddenly understands and he wants to weep when he realises it.
All those years ago, Jinki’s heart was torn to shreds and because of it he closed himself off for protection. The hurt he suffered then had always overshadowed his life. But he realises that by doing that, he’s been allowing that bastard to still have a hold on him. Because he never moved on, by locking himself away he let that asshole continue to control him. Jinki swallows and then falls asleep easier than he has for days. For once Jinki realises he is looking forward to work, to seeing Minho again.
They’ve been eating lunch together out in the courtyard. Jinki always admires the way the sun shines across Minho’s hair and lightens his eyes so they seem to sparkle like jewels. It scared Jinki when he first realised how much he was starting to rely on Minho, although he figured he had been relying on Minho all the time without realising it.
At first Jinki wants to tell Minho all about it the next time he sees him, but instead he finds himself staying silent until he has figured out his feelings. Jinki just concentrates on spending time with Minho, he still doesn’t open up much, but he lets Minho into his house and that for now is better than nothing Jinki thinks.
In the blink of an eye, Jinki realises it’s been two months since their friendship formed. At times Jinki thinks it’s a waste because he thinks it’s now too late for anything more to develop between them. But then Jinki still hopes that Minho still likes him that way because he wants to try so badly and work things out between them. If Minho can accept him the way he is, then he will do his best to try.
*
“Minho, you know when we had sex?” Jinki asks leaning in the doorway when he hears Minho start coughing, looking surprised at being asked that before he’s even inside Jinki’s house.
“Hyung?” Minho’s eyes are watery and wide open, he looks like he’s been crying but Jinki knows it’s the coughing. Jinki opens the door wider so Minho can come inside, and he watches as Minho slips his shoes off.
“You said before we had sex that you couldn’t stand it? What couldn’t you stand? I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while.”
“The way you shut yourself off from everyone,” Minho frowned straightening up and stepping up into the house, “I thought you knew that.”
“No,” Jinki bit his lip, “I realised it was stupid of me to do that.”
“Hyung, what is this? What’s going on?” Minho blinks as he walks into Jinki’s living room. The plain white walls have been decorated with tinsel, the house looks ready for a party. With balloons and streamers and Jinki suddenly feels pathetic. His idea was so lame he thinks as he watched Minho glancing around the room with surprise.
“It’s been two months,” Jinki can feel his heart racing and he feels so fucking scared about what he’s going to do. But Minho is turning to grin across at him, his warm hands reaching forward to grasp Jinki’s hands tightly.
“Hyung, I love you,” Minho smiles and before Jinki can even think to respond, Minho leans forward and kisses him. It’s gentle and Jinki can feel his heart strumming away as Minho’s lips move softly against his and for once Jinki thinks he’s made the right decision.
“Even though I haven’t told you,” Jinki mumbles when Minho tugs him over to the couch.
“Of course,” Minho clutches Jinki’s hand, and it feels like he’s holding on as tight as Jinki as if they’re both afraid the boat will capsize. Somehow the words float up and Jinki can’t find it in himself to hold them back. He hates himself for trying to celebrate and then bringing it all crashing down with his depressing life.
“My ex-boyfriend said he loved me, and I’d do so much stuff for him. But in the end when he got drunk he would get violent and angry. He never hit me but he came close, and I just accepted it because he loved me. I accepted the stupid things he told me, how I should dress properly and speak politely to people. How I should never reveal my true self except to him. I don’t know why I even listened but somehow I did.” Jinki shut his eyes, he couldn’t face Minho right now.
“But in the end, he was cheating on me anyway. And he broke my heart but somehow I kept locking myself away. You know I never even realised what I was doing was making me so unhappy, or that it was because of him until recently. I wouldn’t have realised it without you.” Jinki wants to open his eyes, but he feels scared because this is more than he’s ever told anyone else. But then he feels Minho against him, pulling Jinki right into his arms and it scares him even more because he can feel his hopes rising up like a bird soaring freely into the sky.
“Hyung,” Minho’s voice is a faint whisper soothing Jinki’s ears, “Hyung’s it’s okay, I understand.” Jinki wants to cry more than he has for a long time when he feels Minho’s hands cradling around his head. A part of him wants to scream that Minho can’t understand because how could Jinki convey the true extent of his feelings in those brief words. But Jinki can’t bear to say another word instead he just clings to Minho wondering how he ended up like this.
They pass the night like that, and in the early morning light when Jinki wakes up on the couch cradled against Minho he feels happier than he has for months. He glances around the room and sees the wasted party decorations but somehow it doesn’t matter that they didn’t celebrate, and Jinki feels more secure than he has for years even though it feels like all the armour protecting him is gone.
Jinki lies there and studies Minho’s face, feeling a little sad when he realises that they haven’t done anything sexual. It makes him wonder if he’s ruined the chance of something like that happening between them. Maybe they can only be friends right now, at first it hurts but the longer Jinki lies there the more he comes to accept it.
*
And this... is completely unedited... sorry for that :c *lazy* lol...