I think you get that feeling of not caring so that when you do look around and see that there's no one near by, it doesn't hurt as much. In a way I envy you for that because when I look around and feel lonely, it hurts like a bitch. Or maybe not...maybe because you're an emotional (I'm not implying in a bad way, I'm just saying that you feel a wider range of emotions than most guys your age, and that's a good thing) person, all the stuff that's happened to you has numbed you. Whichever, I hope that I was wrong on both. I keep hope that you'll find a big bandaid in your life and you'll look back at this journal after time has passed and say, "I'm much happier now." When are you coming to visit?? Soon, please :)
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