What A Difference a Year Makes.

[onionsoupmix]

In November of 2006, Lynne Meredith Schreiber authored an article  about mikvah and niddah, entitled Why Orthodox Jews May Have the Hottest Sex Lives.

Here's what she wrote:   "I've always been Jewish, but I didn't become Orthodox until I was in my twenties. I chose this way of living because I liked the way Orthodox husbands looked at their wives-

Comments

[fetteredwolf]

Well, I'm just going to comment on Ms. Schreiber's musings.
"I chose this way of living because I liked the way Orthodox husbands looked at their wives-with smoldering sensuality, hidden knowing, and reverence"- lol wut.

Ok, that's my intelligent comment for the day. Also, wow, how awkward is it to have an article with those descriptions about your sex life up after you've long been divorced?

[onionsoupmix]

yeah, I'd think she'd ask them to take it down or something. Unless she legally can't.

[buildin_a_bayis]

Thats sad and all but you do realize that this woman's divorce seemingly has nothing to do with THM?

I do often wonder if this is what God wants and if he's just shaking his head wondering why we are doing all of these things down here, I wont argue about those points.

[fetteredwolf]

I think the point is that she became Orthodox because of her notions about taami ha'mitzvot (mikva is a wonderful thing that we do because it brings couples closer), and then left Orthodox because of other notions about THM (shabbat is a time to spend um, doing yoga? being with a community? relaxing so even if you have to drive a car to relax it's still ok since it's the "spirit" of Shabbat?).

[onionsoupmix]

I have no idea why she got divorced. It is a bit odd that she split up so soon after writing about how sexy and wonderful THM is.

But my main point is what you wrote last. Does God care about all these things we think he/she cares about?

[onionsoupmix]

you think the rules were created by people? To maximize reproduction? Why would preventing a couple from intercourse half the time maximize reproduction? Or do you mean the whole it-is-a-big-mitzvah-to-toivel-even-if-you-are-on-your-deathbed thing?

[onionsoupmix]

I don't know about this theory. Even if I would accept your theory on chances of conception, why would the ancient Jews have this figured out, as opposed to the ancient Egyptians or whatever?

[anonymous]

Do you really think the niddah rules were meant to meant to enhance the relationship between a husband and a wife or are they just arbitrary laws?

Come on, let's just state it: they're man-made rules designed by men who found menstruation gross.

[onionsoupmix]

well, okay, but that doesn't explain the whole extra seven days thing.

And lots of things are gross and not assur. Circumcision, shechita come to mind immediately.

[anonymous]

The seven days are the inevitable consequence of membership in the Chumra of the Month Club: stringency or made-up requirements become halacha.

[onionsoupmix]

you'd think chumra of the month would exclude long periods of abstention, but I guess not.

I've heard frum women give the above as an explanation why the Torah could not have been written by man, as in which man would voluntarily have his wife be off limits for 14 days?

Incredible find!

[thehedyot]

Wow! How did you find this? Really, very cool.

The way I read this really has nothing to do with figuring out what God wants or doesn't want. To me, what this shows is the stupidity of looking at mitzvos or halacha or any aspects of the Orthodox lifestyle as some sort of panacea to happiness and a successful marriage. Which is exactly how the first article, and countless frummie books, rabbis and rebbetzins makes THM sound.

Does it have some benefits? For some people, probably so. But it also has drawbacks. Like everything else in life, there's no guarantees.

Re: Incredible find!

[onionsoupmix]

Yeah, but the thing is if you don't see mitzvos or halacha as a gateway to happiness, etc, why else would you do it? So that God is happy with you even if you're not?

It sort of makes sense that people find these explanations for themselves. But here the turnaround was just so fast and interesting.

I don't know how I found it, I was just trying to find something else on line and found this instead :)

Re: Incredible find!

[ymarkov]

if you don't see mitzvos or halacha as a gateway to happiness, etc, why else would you do it?
Um... because it's the right thing to do?

That's why I do it, anyway.

Nothing wrong with people trying to figure out the reasons for laws as long as they understand that they can at most get partial answers. (Just saw that in Mishna Hagiga last night.)

Re: Incredible find!

[onionsoupmix]

Are the partial answers true? Are they totally true or just partially? Are they true for people for whom they don't work? Are the chukim random or do they have a specific meaning?