People Should Know

[onionsoupmix]

My friend from Israel is going through a very rough time. She recently left a terrible marriage, complete with mental and physical abuse.

She waited until she couldn't take it anymore, sold her jewelry, took her three children and moved out. Her husband refused to give her a get and also refused to get a job. After she left, she had to pay him

Comments

The Hedyot

[anonymous]

The point of this story is not the vengefulness of the husband, but the abuse, insensitivity and utter lack of compassion of the rabbis of the beis din.

Re: The Hedyot

[anonymous]

I agree.

This is truly a terrible story, but at least she now has her get.

-Fence Sitter

Re: The Hedyot

[onionsoupmix]

Nope. Today apparently he informed her that he has changed his mind and will not be giving a get after all. One of the kids who is living with him is not doing well in school and he's blaming this on the mother. So he is now refusing to give the get until the child improves.

Yeah.

The Hedyot

[anonymous]

So awful. Thanks for sharing a firsthand account of this sick system.

Re: The Hedyot

[onionsoupmix]

My favorite part was "bhatzlacha with your next marriage"

Who decided to put these idiots in charge? Why do they get to tell us what the will of god supposedly is?

women on beis din

[ext_689080]

This is what happens when women hold no power in religion.

[ext_675596]

And what's the status of women in the non-Orthodox world?

Rape is common.

http://www.rainn.org/statistics/

Beatings are common.

http://www.thehotline.org/get-educated/abuse-in-america/

Dead beat dads are common.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadbeat_parent#Child_support_arrears

(there are deadbeat moms too, however about 84% of custodial parents are female)

Anyhow, if the Orthodox world is so bad, why are you in it?

[onionsoupmix]

Rape and beatings and dead beat dads are considered serious problems and there are numerous laws and organizations dedicated to solving those particular societal ills.

In contrast, I don't recall any laws or organizations or measures in the frum world are dedicated to solving the problems of crazy and abusive botei dinim. Do you?

[ext_675596]

So in essence you prefer a society where lip service is paid to equality, yet women are often treated like dogs (you may not realize it, however American men, especially among themselves, often refer to women as "bitches"; not a coincidence), rather than a society where women are generally treated pretty well but are discriminated against officially to some degree?

Anyhow, to answer your question, I think all organizations in the frum world would be dedicated to solving the problems of crazy and abusive botei dinim, if there really were any.

[onionsoupmix]

I don't think lip service is paid to gender equality, a basic reading of history of the women's movements should disabuse any intelligent person of that notion.

And I certainly wouldn't call those who refer to women as bitches to be "men" and certainly not men that represent the vast majority of the secular society that I come into contact with. Maybe you should stop hanging around with the wrong crowd.

And why am I not surprised that you don't think there really are any crazy and abusive botei dinim?

wow

[anonymous]

this is what they call FUBAR!
-cfkaMP