What Are Words
Title: What Are Words?
Author: onkeyloves
Pairing: Onew/Key, OT5
Rating: G
Genre: Romance
What are words,
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
Jinki opened his eyes and found himself lying in the hospital bed. How come I don’t remember a thing? Why am I here? These were the two thoughts that came to his head. He slowly shifted his head to see his surrounding.
On the couch for visitors in the hospital room sat a really young man, just like Jinki himself, or perhaps even younger. He had his eyes shut and looked really exhausted. But Jinki really has no recollection of his entire life. He didn’t recognize the young man. He could ask no one since he was in the premium ward (one patient per room). He can only ask the man, if he wakes up. But Jinki didn’t want to be rude and wake him up.
Jinki adjusted his bed so that he was sitting upright. He switched on the television and watched the silent graphics on the screen. He did everything carefully so that he will not make too much noise.
He suddenly felt thirsty and so he turned to reach for water. While grabbing the flask, he accidentally knocked over the glass sitting next to it. The hospital room was fortunately carpeted. But the floor was still wet. Flustered, Jinki attempted to clean the floor. He didn’t realize that the man was already awaken in this process.
“Jin-Jinki? Am I dreaming? You’re finally awake!”
The man rushed over and gave an overly warm hug to Jinki. He even gave Jinki a quick peck on his forehead. This astounded Jinki quite a bit.
“I’m really sorry but you are?”
“Y-you don’t remember me? Yah Hyung, don’t scare me let me get the doctor.”
The doctor and two nurses came into the room and explained everything.
“So, in short, I lost my memory.”
“Don’t worry Mr. Lee, this is only temporary. You’ll regain your memory in less than a year. I promise.”
“A year?! That sure sounds promising.” Jinki said sarcastically.
“I’m sorry doctor he’s a little out of place right now, but thank you so much.” The young man told the doctor as he sent them out.
“Thanks. I’m just, I don’t know, kind of lost. I mean I can’t remember a thing. I feel so insecure.”
“It’s alright Hyung, I’m sure you didn’t mean it.”
“Thank you, really. By the way, if you don’t mind, can you tell me who you are and how are you related to me?”
“Oh, I’m Kibum. Your um, close friend.”
“Hi Kibum. Thank you for being here when I wake up.”
“You know, Hung, I’m really happy that you’re finally awake. It’s been eight months, Hyung.”
“Wow, what happened? Why did I end up in a coma for this long?”
“I’ll tell you some other day. Here drink some water. I’ll get the nurse to give you some food. And I’ll call your parents to let them know that you’re awake.”
Kibum walked out of the room.
Seriously, just close friends?
But what’s with the…kiss?
Jinki just shrugged and drank the water Kibum poured for him earlier.
******
Jinki has waked up from his coma for about three weeks now. Not many people have actually visited him. There was Minho, his high school friend. Jonghyun, his race car buddy he knew since young. And there was Taemin, his assistant in his dad’s office. Of course, there’s Kibum too. But Kibum was never there whenever the others visited and when there were no one else, Kibum would always be there. Jinki thought it was weird but didn’t think too much about it.
Earlier, Jinki decided that he wants to take a walk in the park. So, Kibum had him sit on the wheelchair as Jinki’s body was still weak.
While walking through the park, Jinki decided that he should know his past a little better. He began asking Kibum some questions.
“I must have been either really unpopular or a jerk. I don’t have many friends, do I?”
“Well, Jinki Hyung, I got to say you were pretty much a jerk. You always let your temper mess with you. You were really mean and you like to mock people. And very obviously, your parents spoil you. You always want things your way and annoyingly, things do always go your way.”
‘Hmm, no wonder. I’m sorry I was so terrible.” Jinki could only let out a bitter laugh. If only he could turn back time, he swore to be a better man.
“But what made you and the few of them stay? I mean, you guys would’ve wanted me dead, no? Even I hate the old me right now!” Jinki joked.
“Well…you were really nice to Minho, Jjong and Taemin. You treated them really differently.”
“Oh? Really? But why would I? Wasn’t I really unreasonable?”
“Nah, you treated them like normal humans. In fact, you really enjoyed being friends with them. You told me in the past that you were really glad that they were part of your life.”
“Really? Wow. That’s interesting. I hope I remember my times with them soon. What about you? You didn’t mention yourself, did you realize? And how well do you know the guys actually? I mean you’re always not there when they come.”
“Well, you were pretty nice to me too I suppose. Well, I heard of them from you, mainly. The sky is getting dark; I think it’s going to rain soon. Let me push you back to the ward.”
Jinki realized that Kibum keeps changing topic whenever he brought up their past. Was there something wrong with it? There were so many questions that were bottled up in Jinki’s mind. But he knew it made Kibum really uncomfortable so he tries to refrain from asking so much lest he annoys him. He really liked Kibum and didn’t want to lose him as a friend.
He enjoyed every moment spent with him.
*******
Months passed and Jinki’s health got a lot better. He was almost as healthy as he was before the whole accident.
He found out that he was speeding and to dodge another car, he steered away causing him to hit the tree. The impact was great and it nearly caused Jinki his life. But thank goodness the airbag came out in time, lessening the impact. He can only be grateful that he’s still alive right now and he could only blame his old reckless self.
Once in a while, Jinki gets recurring flashbacks. But he didn’t tell anyone about it. Not even Kibum. He often sees himself in a familiar setting. In there, it’s entirely messed up, as if he’s been mugged. But there were no broken windows or doors. Things are all carelessly thrown over the floor and bed. Sometime, there’ll be red ink everywhere
It was Kibum’s birthday that day. Jinki has planned a night out for both of them, no one else. He was planning on confessing to Kibum because he really likes him a lot. While preparing in his room, Jinki suddenly gets another flashback. This time, it was something new. There were broken pieces of glass all over the ground. He got really worried of what he’s seeing. He decided to give a call to Kibum. He dialed Kibum’s number over and over but to no avail. He gave up and called Taemin instead.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Taemin ah, Jinki here. I’ve something to tell you and it’s really important.”
“I’ll come over, give me ten minutes.” Taemin lived really near Jinki for convenience sake.
*******
Taemin arrived and Jinki began telling Taemin every bit of his flashbacks. He began describing how it gets weirder and weirder each time when it comes to the flashback on that particular setting.
Right when he got to the part where the he talked about the broken glasses, he got even more images emerging in his head. He saw how he dashed out with someone, a guy. A silhouette he found so familiar, that he dragged along to his black shiny Audi. It was the scene of the night of his accident.
Taemin got really worried and began yelling for Jinki to respond him. Jinki snapped out of the terrifying moment. He was perspiring so much even though the temperature in his room was at 16 degree celsius.
“Hyung you’re really scaring me right now.”
“I’m sorry Taemin, I didn’t mean for you to come see me like this. I’m sorry. I tried calling Kibum initially but he won’t pick up my calls.”
“Hy-hyung. What are you talking about? Ki-kibum?”
“Oh I forgot, you don’t know him well. You know my close friend? Here let me show you some photos we took together the past few months.”
“Hyung…Kibum is…”
Jinki pulled his wallet and took some of the polaroids out.
“Here, no wait. How come there’s only me in these photos? Where are the ones I took with Kibum? He was suppose to be right here, Taemin, here.”
“Hyung, what are you talking about? Kibum died in the accident.”
“NO, KIBUM HAS BEEN WITH ME THE MOMENT I WOKE UP FROM COMA.”
“No, Hyung hear me out, Kibum is dead. You were driving that night, after the fight with your parents over Kibum. You dragged Kibum along because you didn’t want to ruin his birthday. You crashed into the tree because you were trying to dodge the other car. But Kibum’s head hit the windows, he died that night. Hyung, he’s dead. Kibum’s dead.”
Jinki couldn’t believe his ears. He chose to believe that Kibum was still alive.
“I’m going to call Kibum right now and you’ll see. I’m not lying Taemin, I am not. It’s his birthday and I even planned to confess to him.” Jinki broke down in tears. He was so overwhelmed by the truth he began hitting the walls.
Taemin was so petrified he began crying. He called Jonghyun and Minho earlier. They rushed over. They tried to calm Jinki down but they couldn’t restrain his hysterical behavior. They were so worried; they called the hospital for help. They sent paramedics over to inject anesthesia into Jinki’s body to calm him down.
While the inserted the needle into Jinki’s arm, he could feel his body becoming numb. His face was covered with his angry tears filled with regrets. His memories finally fall back into place. He remembers everything now.
Jinki went out with Kibum. He didn’t really treat Kibum that well. He often howled mean words at Kibum to vent his anger. There was few times where he accidentally threw heavy objects at Kibum because of his horrid temper. He really didn’t mean it. He has major anger management issues. He even went to counselors and psychologist for it. What’s most important was that despite all Kibum had to go through while with him, Kibum never left him. Kibum never stopped loving him. He really did love Kibum too. That night, Jinki quarreled with his parents because they objected to this relationship. They after all, came from a reputable household. There was no way their son could be with another man. But Jinki really did love Kibum and he wanted to spend his entre life with Kibum. No one else. He dragged Kibum out of his room and they went for a ride. Jinki had some alcohol earlier and was so mad; he drove at a very inappropriate speed. He lost control and had to steer away from other vehicles. Kibum was petrified and he began shouting “Go right, go right.” Trusting Kibum’s words, Jinki followed his instructions. Little did he know, Kibum wanted Jinki to turn right because it was in Kibum’s direction. If he turned left, Kibum would’ve been saved. But no, Kibum sacrificed his life on the day he was given life. Kibum stayed with Jinki till he was fully recovered to guide him along with his new life.
The pieces finally matched.
Jinki loved Kibum. Kibum loved Jinki a hell lot more.
******
Jinki was admitted into the hospital till his condition stabilizes. Minho, Jonghyun and Taemin stayed with him the entire time. He always dreams of Kibum and he knows the truth. But once in a while, they still spot Jinki talking to himself in the corner.
This broke their heart.
But it was nothing compared to what Kibum did for Jinki and how even after death, all Kibum wanted to do was the best for Jinki and not even death can change that.
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
A/N: Hi y’all! This fic was written while I was at work…odd hahaha. I was listening to the song and I really liked it so well yeah. And I don’t know I like psychopath Jinki a lot. It’s precious. Anyhow, enjoy! Anyway! Do visit http://twistedfantasia.livejournal.com !!!
Selling fantastic items over there! Go take a look, there’s really no harm! Especially awesome as gifts! Let me give you a bit of preview! All hand made! :)
Author: onkeyloves
Pairing: Onew/Key, OT5
Rating: G
Genre: Romance
What are words,
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
Jinki opened his eyes and found himself lying in the hospital bed. How come I don’t remember a thing? Why am I here? These were the two thoughts that came to his head. He slowly shifted his head to see his surrounding.
On the couch for visitors in the hospital room sat a really young man, just like Jinki himself, or perhaps even younger. He had his eyes shut and looked really exhausted. But Jinki really has no recollection of his entire life. He didn’t recognize the young man. He could ask no one since he was in the premium ward (one patient per room). He can only ask the man, if he wakes up. But Jinki didn’t want to be rude and wake him up.
Jinki adjusted his bed so that he was sitting upright. He switched on the television and watched the silent graphics on the screen. He did everything carefully so that he will not make too much noise.
He suddenly felt thirsty and so he turned to reach for water. While grabbing the flask, he accidentally knocked over the glass sitting next to it. The hospital room was fortunately carpeted. But the floor was still wet. Flustered, Jinki attempted to clean the floor. He didn’t realize that the man was already awaken in this process.
“Jin-Jinki? Am I dreaming? You’re finally awake!”
The man rushed over and gave an overly warm hug to Jinki. He even gave Jinki a quick peck on his forehead. This astounded Jinki quite a bit.
“I’m really sorry but you are?”
“Y-you don’t remember me? Yah Hyung, don’t scare me let me get the doctor.”
The doctor and two nurses came into the room and explained everything.
“So, in short, I lost my memory.”
“Don’t worry Mr. Lee, this is only temporary. You’ll regain your memory in less than a year. I promise.”
“A year?! That sure sounds promising.” Jinki said sarcastically.
“I’m sorry doctor he’s a little out of place right now, but thank you so much.” The young man told the doctor as he sent them out.
“Thanks. I’m just, I don’t know, kind of lost. I mean I can’t remember a thing. I feel so insecure.”
“It’s alright Hyung, I’m sure you didn’t mean it.”
“Thank you, really. By the way, if you don’t mind, can you tell me who you are and how are you related to me?”
“Oh, I’m Kibum. Your um, close friend.”
“Hi Kibum. Thank you for being here when I wake up.”
“You know, Hung, I’m really happy that you’re finally awake. It’s been eight months, Hyung.”
“Wow, what happened? Why did I end up in a coma for this long?”
“I’ll tell you some other day. Here drink some water. I’ll get the nurse to give you some food. And I’ll call your parents to let them know that you’re awake.”
Kibum walked out of the room.
Seriously, just close friends?
But what’s with the…kiss?
Jinki just shrugged and drank the water Kibum poured for him earlier.
******
Jinki has waked up from his coma for about three weeks now. Not many people have actually visited him. There was Minho, his high school friend. Jonghyun, his race car buddy he knew since young. And there was Taemin, his assistant in his dad’s office. Of course, there’s Kibum too. But Kibum was never there whenever the others visited and when there were no one else, Kibum would always be there. Jinki thought it was weird but didn’t think too much about it.
Earlier, Jinki decided that he wants to take a walk in the park. So, Kibum had him sit on the wheelchair as Jinki’s body was still weak.
While walking through the park, Jinki decided that he should know his past a little better. He began asking Kibum some questions.
“I must have been either really unpopular or a jerk. I don’t have many friends, do I?”
“Well, Jinki Hyung, I got to say you were pretty much a jerk. You always let your temper mess with you. You were really mean and you like to mock people. And very obviously, your parents spoil you. You always want things your way and annoyingly, things do always go your way.”
‘Hmm, no wonder. I’m sorry I was so terrible.” Jinki could only let out a bitter laugh. If only he could turn back time, he swore to be a better man.
“But what made you and the few of them stay? I mean, you guys would’ve wanted me dead, no? Even I hate the old me right now!” Jinki joked.
“Well…you were really nice to Minho, Jjong and Taemin. You treated them really differently.”
“Oh? Really? But why would I? Wasn’t I really unreasonable?”
“Nah, you treated them like normal humans. In fact, you really enjoyed being friends with them. You told me in the past that you were really glad that they were part of your life.”
“Really? Wow. That’s interesting. I hope I remember my times with them soon. What about you? You didn’t mention yourself, did you realize? And how well do you know the guys actually? I mean you’re always not there when they come.”
“Well, you were pretty nice to me too I suppose. Well, I heard of them from you, mainly. The sky is getting dark; I think it’s going to rain soon. Let me push you back to the ward.”
Jinki realized that Kibum keeps changing topic whenever he brought up their past. Was there something wrong with it? There were so many questions that were bottled up in Jinki’s mind. But he knew it made Kibum really uncomfortable so he tries to refrain from asking so much lest he annoys him. He really liked Kibum and didn’t want to lose him as a friend.
He enjoyed every moment spent with him.
*******
Months passed and Jinki’s health got a lot better. He was almost as healthy as he was before the whole accident.
He found out that he was speeding and to dodge another car, he steered away causing him to hit the tree. The impact was great and it nearly caused Jinki his life. But thank goodness the airbag came out in time, lessening the impact. He can only be grateful that he’s still alive right now and he could only blame his old reckless self.
Once in a while, Jinki gets recurring flashbacks. But he didn’t tell anyone about it. Not even Kibum. He often sees himself in a familiar setting. In there, it’s entirely messed up, as if he’s been mugged. But there were no broken windows or doors. Things are all carelessly thrown over the floor and bed. Sometime, there’ll be red ink everywhere
It was Kibum’s birthday that day. Jinki has planned a night out for both of them, no one else. He was planning on confessing to Kibum because he really likes him a lot. While preparing in his room, Jinki suddenly gets another flashback. This time, it was something new. There were broken pieces of glass all over the ground. He got really worried of what he’s seeing. He decided to give a call to Kibum. He dialed Kibum’s number over and over but to no avail. He gave up and called Taemin instead.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Taemin ah, Jinki here. I’ve something to tell you and it’s really important.”
“I’ll come over, give me ten minutes.” Taemin lived really near Jinki for convenience sake.
*******
Taemin arrived and Jinki began telling Taemin every bit of his flashbacks. He began describing how it gets weirder and weirder each time when it comes to the flashback on that particular setting.
Right when he got to the part where the he talked about the broken glasses, he got even more images emerging in his head. He saw how he dashed out with someone, a guy. A silhouette he found so familiar, that he dragged along to his black shiny Audi. It was the scene of the night of his accident.
Taemin got really worried and began yelling for Jinki to respond him. Jinki snapped out of the terrifying moment. He was perspiring so much even though the temperature in his room was at 16 degree celsius.
“Hyung you’re really scaring me right now.”
“I’m sorry Taemin, I didn’t mean for you to come see me like this. I’m sorry. I tried calling Kibum initially but he won’t pick up my calls.”
“Hy-hyung. What are you talking about? Ki-kibum?”
“Oh I forgot, you don’t know him well. You know my close friend? Here let me show you some photos we took together the past few months.”
“Hyung…Kibum is…”
Jinki pulled his wallet and took some of the polaroids out.
“Here, no wait. How come there’s only me in these photos? Where are the ones I took with Kibum? He was suppose to be right here, Taemin, here.”
“Hyung, what are you talking about? Kibum died in the accident.”
“NO, KIBUM HAS BEEN WITH ME THE MOMENT I WOKE UP FROM COMA.”
“No, Hyung hear me out, Kibum is dead. You were driving that night, after the fight with your parents over Kibum. You dragged Kibum along because you didn’t want to ruin his birthday. You crashed into the tree because you were trying to dodge the other car. But Kibum’s head hit the windows, he died that night. Hyung, he’s dead. Kibum’s dead.”
Jinki couldn’t believe his ears. He chose to believe that Kibum was still alive.
“I’m going to call Kibum right now and you’ll see. I’m not lying Taemin, I am not. It’s his birthday and I even planned to confess to him.” Jinki broke down in tears. He was so overwhelmed by the truth he began hitting the walls.
Taemin was so petrified he began crying. He called Jonghyun and Minho earlier. They rushed over. They tried to calm Jinki down but they couldn’t restrain his hysterical behavior. They were so worried; they called the hospital for help. They sent paramedics over to inject anesthesia into Jinki’s body to calm him down.
While the inserted the needle into Jinki’s arm, he could feel his body becoming numb. His face was covered with his angry tears filled with regrets. His memories finally fall back into place. He remembers everything now.
Jinki went out with Kibum. He didn’t really treat Kibum that well. He often howled mean words at Kibum to vent his anger. There was few times where he accidentally threw heavy objects at Kibum because of his horrid temper. He really didn’t mean it. He has major anger management issues. He even went to counselors and psychologist for it. What’s most important was that despite all Kibum had to go through while with him, Kibum never left him. Kibum never stopped loving him. He really did love Kibum too. That night, Jinki quarreled with his parents because they objected to this relationship. They after all, came from a reputable household. There was no way their son could be with another man. But Jinki really did love Kibum and he wanted to spend his entre life with Kibum. No one else. He dragged Kibum out of his room and they went for a ride. Jinki had some alcohol earlier and was so mad; he drove at a very inappropriate speed. He lost control and had to steer away from other vehicles. Kibum was petrified and he began shouting “Go right, go right.” Trusting Kibum’s words, Jinki followed his instructions. Little did he know, Kibum wanted Jinki to turn right because it was in Kibum’s direction. If he turned left, Kibum would’ve been saved. But no, Kibum sacrificed his life on the day he was given life. Kibum stayed with Jinki till he was fully recovered to guide him along with his new life.
The pieces finally matched.
Jinki loved Kibum. Kibum loved Jinki a hell lot more.
******
Jinki was admitted into the hospital till his condition stabilizes. Minho, Jonghyun and Taemin stayed with him the entire time. He always dreams of Kibum and he knows the truth. But once in a while, they still spot Jinki talking to himself in the corner.
This broke their heart.
But it was nothing compared to what Kibum did for Jinki and how even after death, all Kibum wanted to do was the best for Jinki and not even death can change that.
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
A/N: Hi y’all! This fic was written while I was at work…odd hahaha. I was listening to the song and I really liked it so well yeah. And I don’t know I like psychopath Jinki a lot. It’s precious. Anyhow, enjoy! Anyway! Do visit http://twistedfantasia.livejournal.com !!!
Selling fantastic items over there! Go take a look, there’s really no harm! Especially awesome as gifts! Let me give you a bit of preview! All hand made! :)