38. "I want you to stay forever."
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That night, Kibum was lying on his bed trying to sort out the thoughts he’s had for the past 2 months. And he’s been trying to do this for the past month and a half but with no luck. He always knew he was straight, or so he thought he was…so what the fuck was this all about?
All the members have been fucking each other for a while now, ever since Heechul got drunk and told everyone about the time he heard weird sounds coming from Eunhyuk’s room. And that’s how he caught Eunhyuk and Donghae fucking in the middle of the night when Heechul got up to take a piss.
Donghae obviously wasn’t going to let Heechul get away with this and blurted out about the time he caught Heechul giving Kyuhyun a blowjob. And then the chain continued until it was confirmed that all the members have been fucking each other a lot. So Kibum was used to it, but Leeteuk and Kangin were different. Even though everyone knew Siwon and Hankyung had a thing going on between the two, they didn’t mind screwing with other members. Of course it always had to be a three way thing, but that didn’t matter.
Leeteuk and Kangin however, were faithful to each other. They would never get together with other members because they knew they had each other. But who was Kibum left with? No one.
His thoughts were interrupted when there was knock on his door. “Come in.”
He sat up immediately when he saw who it was, “Hey hyung.”
“Can we talk?” Leeteuk asked as he looked at Kibum with concern. Kibum’s heartbeat began to speed up and thumb louder and louder, even Kibum wondered if Leeteuk could hear it. He bit his lips and tried hard to think of this as just a normal talk.
“Sure,” he answered with a forced smile. Leeteuk walked in slowly, closing the door behind him, and took a seat beside Kibum on the bed. Kibum could feel his hands began to sweat as he gripped tightly onto his sheets, waiting for what Leeteuk wanted to talk to him about.
“Kibum, is there something wrong?”
Stop it. Stop caring so much it’ll only make it harder for me.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
What if I said it was about you.
“If it’s something about the relationship, you can always talk to me.”
Stop it. Shut up.
“I’m your hyung, Kibum. Everyone else and I want you to open up to us more.”
“Stop…stop it. I don’t need you to care for me…” Kibum mumbled as he tried hard to keep his feelings from showing. His body began to shake with pain and sadness. He knew it. Hyung. That one fucking word is able to destroy all the hopes he’s ever had.
“What did you say?” Leeteuk moved closer to Kibum and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I said…stop.” Kibum looked up at Leeteuk with ice-cold eyes.
“What?” Leeteuk stared at Kibum with disbelief and hurt eyes.
Kibum shrugged Leeteuk’s hand off and stared straight into his eyes. “Stop caring so much. I don’t need pity. I don’t need anyone to ask me if I’m okay. I don’t need anyone but myself.”
Leeteuk sat frozen as tears began to stream down his face. After a while, Leeteuk got up walked out.
“I’m sorry for bothering you,” and with a click, Kibum was left alone in the room again. Kibum could hear the sadness and pain through his voice and his heart ached to know that he was the cause of it.
“Mianhe…”
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2 weeks had gone by since the talk they had and ever since then, things had been awkward between them. Whenever they looked at each other, they could feel the large gap between them.
Kibum had been thinking about the same thing over and over again every single night. The best way to fix things is if they didn’t see each other outside of their schedules.
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“Kibum, why are you moving out?” Yesung frowned.
“I’m moving back with my parents.”
“But why?” Sungmin asked.
“They said I should since it’s pretty crowded here anyways.”
Leeteuk squinted his eyes at the morning sun and got up to see what was going on in the living room. He stared at the luggage and looked up at the 5 guys. “What the hell is going on?”
“Kibum is moving back with his parents today,” Ryeowook answered.
“Why?” Leeteuk’s eyes flickered up to meet Kibum’s. His eyes were filled with anger and betrayal. Kibum looked away quickly, he didn’t want Leeteuk to suddenly cause him to change his mind.
“Come here.” Leeteuk grabbed Kibum’s arm and pulled him into Kibum’s bedroom, slamming the door shut and locking it.
“Why the hell are you moving?”
“My parents want me back.”
“I’m sure that wasn’t the real reason you wanted to leave. You wanted to avoid me didn’t you?” Leeteuk growled as he took a step towards Kibum.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kibum asked in disbelief.
“I know how you feel about me. I’m not blind Kibum. Avoiding me isn’t going to change your feelings for me.”
“Well at least I can try! You don’t know how hard it is for me watching you and Kangin flirt around every single fucking day!” Kibum roared.
“Don’t do this, please. Kangin and I… things aren’t working out because the one I love is you.” Leeteuk took another step towards Kibum.
“How are you so sure the love you feel for me isn’t what a hyung feels for his dongsaeng?” Kibum whispered.
“Stop lying to yourself…” tears flowed down Leeteuk’s cheeks.
“I’m sorry, I can’t. This isn’t right.” Kibum’s eyes stung with tears.
“I want you to stay forever. I want to stay with you forever. Just give us a chance,” Leeteuk took Kibum’s hands in his gently.
Kibum reached up slowly and brushed away the tears on Leeteuk’s face. His fingers caressed his cheeks as he stared deeply into his eyes. Ever so gently, he kissed him for the very first and last time. Their lips fit perfectly together, it felt like they’re the missing piece to each other’s lives.
Slowly, Kibum pulled away and looked at Leeteuk through sad eyes. “Sometimes, chances aren’t something we can always get.”
Kibum walked out of the room leaving his angel behind. Leeteuk began to weep quietly to himself as he heard the front door click shut.
That night, Kibum was lying on his bed trying to sort out the thoughts he’s had for the past 2 months. And he’s been trying to do this for the past month and a half but with no luck. He always knew he was straight, or so he thought he was…so what the fuck was this all about?
All the members have been fucking each other for a while now, ever since Heechul got drunk and told everyone about the time he heard weird sounds coming from Eunhyuk’s room. And that’s how he caught Eunhyuk and Donghae fucking in the middle of the night when Heechul got up to take a piss.
Donghae obviously wasn’t going to let Heechul get away with this and blurted out about the time he caught Heechul giving Kyuhyun a blowjob. And then the chain continued until it was confirmed that all the members have been fucking each other a lot. So Kibum was used to it, but Leeteuk and Kangin were different. Even though everyone knew Siwon and Hankyung had a thing going on between the two, they didn’t mind screwing with other members. Of course it always had to be a three way thing, but that didn’t matter.
Leeteuk and Kangin however, were faithful to each other. They would never get together with other members because they knew they had each other. But who was Kibum left with? No one.
His thoughts were interrupted when there was knock on his door. “Come in.”
He sat up immediately when he saw who it was, “Hey hyung.”
“Can we talk?” Leeteuk asked as he looked at Kibum with concern. Kibum’s heartbeat began to speed up and thumb louder and louder, even Kibum wondered if Leeteuk could hear it. He bit his lips and tried hard to think of this as just a normal talk.
“Sure,” he answered with a forced smile. Leeteuk walked in slowly, closing the door behind him, and took a seat beside Kibum on the bed. Kibum could feel his hands began to sweat as he gripped tightly onto his sheets, waiting for what Leeteuk wanted to talk to him about.
“Kibum, is there something wrong?”
Stop it. Stop caring so much it’ll only make it harder for me.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
What if I said it was about you.
“If it’s something about the relationship, you can always talk to me.”
Stop it. Shut up.
“I’m your hyung, Kibum. Everyone else and I want you to open up to us more.”
“Stop…stop it. I don’t need you to care for me…” Kibum mumbled as he tried hard to keep his feelings from showing. His body began to shake with pain and sadness. He knew it. Hyung. That one fucking word is able to destroy all the hopes he’s ever had.
“What did you say?” Leeteuk moved closer to Kibum and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I said…stop.” Kibum looked up at Leeteuk with ice-cold eyes.
“What?” Leeteuk stared at Kibum with disbelief and hurt eyes.
Kibum shrugged Leeteuk’s hand off and stared straight into his eyes. “Stop caring so much. I don’t need pity. I don’t need anyone to ask me if I’m okay. I don’t need anyone but myself.”
Leeteuk sat frozen as tears began to stream down his face. After a while, Leeteuk got up walked out.
“I’m sorry for bothering you,” and with a click, Kibum was left alone in the room again. Kibum could hear the sadness and pain through his voice and his heart ached to know that he was the cause of it.
“Mianhe…”
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
2 weeks had gone by since the talk they had and ever since then, things had been awkward between them. Whenever they looked at each other, they could feel the large gap between them.
Kibum had been thinking about the same thing over and over again every single night. The best way to fix things is if they didn’t see each other outside of their schedules.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
“Kibum, why are you moving out?” Yesung frowned.
“I’m moving back with my parents.”
“But why?” Sungmin asked.
“They said I should since it’s pretty crowded here anyways.”
Leeteuk squinted his eyes at the morning sun and got up to see what was going on in the living room. He stared at the luggage and looked up at the 5 guys. “What the hell is going on?”
“Kibum is moving back with his parents today,” Ryeowook answered.
“Why?” Leeteuk’s eyes flickered up to meet Kibum’s. His eyes were filled with anger and betrayal. Kibum looked away quickly, he didn’t want Leeteuk to suddenly cause him to change his mind.
“Come here.” Leeteuk grabbed Kibum’s arm and pulled him into Kibum’s bedroom, slamming the door shut and locking it.
“Why the hell are you moving?”
“My parents want me back.”
“I’m sure that wasn’t the real reason you wanted to leave. You wanted to avoid me didn’t you?” Leeteuk growled as he took a step towards Kibum.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kibum asked in disbelief.
“I know how you feel about me. I’m not blind Kibum. Avoiding me isn’t going to change your feelings for me.”
“Well at least I can try! You don’t know how hard it is for me watching you and Kangin flirt around every single fucking day!” Kibum roared.
“Don’t do this, please. Kangin and I… things aren’t working out because the one I love is you.” Leeteuk took another step towards Kibum.
“How are you so sure the love you feel for me isn’t what a hyung feels for his dongsaeng?” Kibum whispered.
“Stop lying to yourself…” tears flowed down Leeteuk’s cheeks.
“I’m sorry, I can’t. This isn’t right.” Kibum’s eyes stung with tears.
“I want you to stay forever. I want to stay with you forever. Just give us a chance,” Leeteuk took Kibum’s hands in his gently.
Kibum reached up slowly and brushed away the tears on Leeteuk’s face. His fingers caressed his cheeks as he stared deeply into his eyes. Ever so gently, he kissed him for the very first and last time. Their lips fit perfectly together, it felt like they’re the missing piece to each other’s lives.
Slowly, Kibum pulled away and looked at Leeteuk through sad eyes. “Sometimes, chances aren’t something we can always get.”
Kibum walked out of the room leaving his angel behind. Leeteuk began to weep quietly to himself as he heard the front door click shut.