i'm writing when i can't find words. its a silly idea, i know. but i'm going to clean up a mess, literally, then do some writing in my journal. yesterday my life changed. i mean, completely. it stopped in time.

should i go see bright eyes?
what about cold war kids, again?
and of course the weakerthans, should i see them?

stars and bob dylan are yesses. no for the avett brothers and regina spektor even though i love them both. i need to save some money. after all, i'm about to take three weeks off of work, most likely unpaid.

i love baltimore. seriously, and i don't know why i do. probably cause i got sober here. and that i have my chosen family here, for the most part ( Read more... )

just had a weekend of learning in a classroom. i don't know if i'm cut out to do it full time. i can't stand people that ask irrevelant questions. i can't stand people who jump in and answer questions that are directed at you. i can't stand people who hog instructors times with personal antecdotes. i can't stand how hard it is for me to sit ( Read more... )

i put my clara bun to sleep today. ugh, i'm devastated. feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest. not sure i did the right thing. i miss her horse head and big black lashes. and her nightly redecoration of her living space. and the pee messes when i'd be gone for an hour too long. and how much she hated, yet tolerated all the snuggles ( Read more... )

this morning i felt 18 all over again. i was walking out of a boys home very early and got busted by people checking out the house for sale on the street. was in my clothes from the night before, make up half on, and hair totally messy... one of the dudes started laughing and gave me the thumbs up sign. i was wondering if he could read the ( Read more... )

underneath a starry sky (starry in my mind) i lost hope that he'd see me for who i am -AND-
not the disease that I have. When i saw the pity mixed with fear in his eyes two more pieces of my heart broke in half. and i wanted to be anyone but me.

leap and the net will appear

When there is nothing left to burn ( Read more... )

wally died today. i'm so.freaking.sad.

so is clara.

and everyone else i talked to.