oh so you're a man that must mean you're better than me
This is just a rant about all of the men in Shondaland (save for Mark Sloan and Jake Riley and even a bit of Sheldon Wallace).
The part that bothers me the most is that the men who are the least chauvinistic are always considered the bad guys or the ones not worth the time.
For example, in season 1 and 2, Alex was considered the bad guy. Which, I get it because he came across is lewd and rude and not giving a fuck about anyone else, but once you learned more about him you can understand why. He has a lot of shit that happened to him and that's his baggage. He genuinely think he's fucked up and that if anyone knew him, they wouldn't like him and because of that he treats everyone the way he does. Later on, he says that Meredith makes him think screwed up people have a chance; he's just looking for a reason to believe that he deserves good things.
But he's always the caregiver. He has feelings for Ava and she turns out being a psychotic bitch. He starts to date Izzie and she has cancer and she nearly dies. When he tries to take care of her, she leaves him. He thinks he doesn't deserve good things.
They call Mark a bad guy for sleeping with women, but really he doesn't give them any inclination that it's going anywhere before he does. Mark is hardly a bad guy. He is a guy who believes he deserves only bad things, who thinks he has only had bad things happen to him. Derek degrades him. Addison convinces him he'd be a bad father. He thinks he doesn't deserve anything good in his life.
Mark seeks a connection. The way the show makes it seem is that he was in love with Addison, suppressed his feelings for years, and in the long run she chose Derek (and Alex) over him. He fell in love with Lexie and when he was just trying to do the right thing she walked away from him. He, also, thinks that he doesn't deserve good things.
However, all of these other men (Derek, Sam, Cooper, Owen, Pete), truly believe that they are good men only to treat women like shit.
Derek blatantly ignored his wife. When she told him she was lonely to avoid the same mistakes, he said nothing. He told his wife that he was in love with someone else on Christmas. Derek hated his wife, told her to leave and degraded her when the divorce paper were signed when he cheated on her. He holds Meredith at high standards and blames her for things that he also could have controlled. Derek is an asshat to anyone (except for Cristina, surprisingly) and even treats his sister badly for things she does.
Sam makes the women he is with feel like shit. He just decided one day that he didn't want to be married anymore and walked away from his wife, his daughter. He manhandles Addison, makes her feel horrible when she tries to be happy, shakes her when she tells him that he is hurting her, and corners her when she clearly doesn't want something. Sam has deemed himself a good man, and when Addison has expressed pain, he tells her to tell him what she likes about him.
Cooper, Owen and Pete are different. They don't do it to the same extremes, but they are still chauvinistic. Cooper has made Charlotte feel badly in the past; she is his wife and still deems Mason as HIS son even though she is trying to be a family. Owen has made Cristina, his wife whose hand he held, feel badly for aborting the baby even though it was a decision they made together. Pete has his fair share of moments of degrading women, maybe not because they are women, but it is to the extreme.
My question is, can Shonda write a man who isn't chauvinistic? Is she capable of writing one who doesn't hate himself or doubt himself? For her, it's either one extreme or the other.
The part that bothers me the most is that the men who are the least chauvinistic are always considered the bad guys or the ones not worth the time.
For example, in season 1 and 2, Alex was considered the bad guy. Which, I get it because he came across is lewd and rude and not giving a fuck about anyone else, but once you learned more about him you can understand why. He has a lot of shit that happened to him and that's his baggage. He genuinely think he's fucked up and that if anyone knew him, they wouldn't like him and because of that he treats everyone the way he does. Later on, he says that Meredith makes him think screwed up people have a chance; he's just looking for a reason to believe that he deserves good things.
But he's always the caregiver. He has feelings for Ava and she turns out being a psychotic bitch. He starts to date Izzie and she has cancer and she nearly dies. When he tries to take care of her, she leaves him. He thinks he doesn't deserve good things.
They call Mark a bad guy for sleeping with women, but really he doesn't give them any inclination that it's going anywhere before he does. Mark is hardly a bad guy. He is a guy who believes he deserves only bad things, who thinks he has only had bad things happen to him. Derek degrades him. Addison convinces him he'd be a bad father. He thinks he doesn't deserve anything good in his life.
Mark seeks a connection. The way the show makes it seem is that he was in love with Addison, suppressed his feelings for years, and in the long run she chose Derek (and Alex) over him. He fell in love with Lexie and when he was just trying to do the right thing she walked away from him. He, also, thinks that he doesn't deserve good things.
However, all of these other men (Derek, Sam, Cooper, Owen, Pete), truly believe that they are good men only to treat women like shit.
Derek blatantly ignored his wife. When she told him she was lonely to avoid the same mistakes, he said nothing. He told his wife that he was in love with someone else on Christmas. Derek hated his wife, told her to leave and degraded her when the divorce paper were signed when he cheated on her. He holds Meredith at high standards and blames her for things that he also could have controlled. Derek is an asshat to anyone (except for Cristina, surprisingly) and even treats his sister badly for things she does.
Sam makes the women he is with feel like shit. He just decided one day that he didn't want to be married anymore and walked away from his wife, his daughter. He manhandles Addison, makes her feel horrible when she tries to be happy, shakes her when she tells him that he is hurting her, and corners her when she clearly doesn't want something. Sam has deemed himself a good man, and when Addison has expressed pain, he tells her to tell him what she likes about him.
Cooper, Owen and Pete are different. They don't do it to the same extremes, but they are still chauvinistic. Cooper has made Charlotte feel badly in the past; she is his wife and still deems Mason as HIS son even though she is trying to be a family. Owen has made Cristina, his wife whose hand he held, feel badly for aborting the baby even though it was a decision they made together. Pete has his fair share of moments of degrading women, maybe not because they are women, but it is to the extreme.
My question is, can Shonda write a man who isn't chauvinistic? Is she capable of writing one who doesn't hate himself or doubt himself? For her, it's either one extreme or the other.