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Will, if you "accidentally" fill this out, you will be forever known as "fruitcakes". Seriously. No lie. I'm just waiting for the perfect moment.
Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls)
--Your Favorite--
Hair Color:: light brown?
Eye Color:: Grey
(Their)Music Genre Preference:: NOT creepy banjo music
Height(estimate):: Tall, tall, and tall (height difference is cute)
Age:: 3-5 year difference
Personality Type:: hopefully comes with an illustrated manual. A pretty one. With clip art.
--This or That--
Older or Younger:: older
Romantic or Horndog:: romantic+horndog
Smart or Stupid:: PHD in smartology
Fat or Skinny:: Toned
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular:: Um, TONED
Punk or Preppy:: Fantabulous. Holy shit, now he sounds gay! I mean, um, original? BBQ? dill pickle?
The Big Picture or the Little Things:: Um what?
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:: I accept Visa/Interact/MC/AMEX/CASH
Mixtape or Burned CD:: burned mix CD
Love or Lust:: don't they go hand in hand or something? I think love is the clingy one
Emotional or Just Not:: Emotional like a man, not a pantyliner commercial
Sincere or Jokester:: sincere. Jokesters are the kind of guys who get girls in high school and then we know better and dump their asses
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:: Neither
Sexy or Just Cute:: Studly!
Arse or Abs:: Abs
Hair or Hands:: BOTH.
Dimples or Eyes:: Eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:: ....hmmmmm, this survey is very frankenstein-ish
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :: both? Can't I get a man with all his body parts intact?!
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:: scruff:)
Rugged or Prim and Proper:: rugged like Indiana Jones<---the girl before me wrote this and sister, we are kindred spirits
Countryboy or Cityboy: cowboy:)
Date alone or With Friends: alone. I've never had a good double date. EVER. Fuckers ruin everything.
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:: Rebel with a cause?
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:: It became an unnatural love
Loved a guy because he stalked you:: Stalking is just talking with an S. But uh, no.
Loved a guy because he hated you:: No
Asked your friend's crush out:: Yes, but in my defense, I didn't know!
Lead a guy on for kicks:: Yes
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott:: Yes, and this "Hott" you speak of...Is it hotter than the average Hot?
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:: Not anymore, no
Lied about not having a boyfriend:: yes, but it's all in the past!
Lied about having one:: no
Cheated:: no
Been Cheated on:: yes
Had a crush on a gay guy:: uh, no
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?:: cute
Briefs?:: no
Hat?:: As long as it's not pulled backwards. No, it's not cool. And you're not keeping it real. Wear the goddamn hat in the fucking right way. Punk kids.
Skater Shoes?:: Sure
Pimp Shoes?:: What do "pimp" shoes look like? Do they pimp skanky pumps and sandals? Got bitches working the shelves of payless? Man, that's hardcore.
Band Shirts?:: What are band shirts? are they just regular shirts but musical??!?!
Vintage shirts?:: Yessir
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:: Oh god, hell no
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Independent/DC?:: what?
S&M/Little Devil?:: oooh kinky, but no
Fox/Thor?:: the hell?
Jeans or Shorts?:: Both are fine
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:: Hahaha, god yes
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:: Only if he's a doctor lawyer lutheran
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:: The amount of suckage displayed by his friends? No.
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?: yeah
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:: No and as far as I'm concerned, I've only screwed/deflowered one guy
Do looks matter?:: Yeah, but we're not talking ewan mcgregor hot. Then again, who is<3???
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:: No.
Does size matter?:: ......well. yes. <---haha oh man, I love the girl who did this before me. But my answer would be no.
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?:: No, no, it's chill.
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:: hahaha I LOLed on this one, but no.
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):: Or what? You're going to release the hounds? or the bees? or the hounds with bees in their mouths so when they ba--fuck it, NO.
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:: Honesty is best
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:: No. And in fact, I like to talk about my sex life, which I like to fill with hyperbole, with mormons.
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:: My ass is pristine. So next!
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:: He's on schedule all the time
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?: So much for that dream
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?: "Guys?"
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:: Yes, I had a dream about my bf's friend kissing my bf. HEY, TRY TO GUESS WHICH ONE!
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:: How hot is this guy friend? Am I single? Hmmm, BUT I did grab Will's ass one time to see his reaction. HAHAHAHA! Good times. I LOLed while typing this, too.
Does this survey suck nuts?: Only hairy black ones
Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls)
--Your Favorite--
Hair Color:: light brown?
Eye Color:: Grey
(Their)Music Genre Preference:: NOT creepy banjo music
Height(estimate):: Tall, tall, and tall (height difference is cute)
Age:: 3-5 year difference
Personality Type:: hopefully comes with an illustrated manual. A pretty one. With clip art.
--This or That--
Older or Younger:: older
Romantic or Horndog:: romantic+horndog
Smart or Stupid:: PHD in smartology
Fat or Skinny:: Toned
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular:: Um, TONED
Punk or Preppy:: Fantabulous. Holy shit, now he sounds gay! I mean, um, original? BBQ? dill pickle?
The Big Picture or the Little Things:: Um what?
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:: I accept Visa/Interact/MC/AMEX/CASH
Mixtape or Burned CD:: burned mix CD
Love or Lust:: don't they go hand in hand or something? I think love is the clingy one
Emotional or Just Not:: Emotional like a man, not a pantyliner commercial
Sincere or Jokester:: sincere. Jokesters are the kind of guys who get girls in high school and then we know better and dump their asses
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:: Neither
Sexy or Just Cute:: Studly!
Arse or Abs:: Abs
Hair or Hands:: BOTH.
Dimples or Eyes:: Eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:: ....hmmmmm, this survey is very frankenstein-ish
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :: both? Can't I get a man with all his body parts intact?!
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:: scruff:)
Rugged or Prim and Proper:: rugged like Indiana Jones<---the girl before me wrote this and sister, we are kindred spirits
Countryboy or Cityboy: cowboy:)
Date alone or With Friends: alone. I've never had a good double date. EVER. Fuckers ruin everything.
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:: Rebel with a cause?
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:: It became an unnatural love
Loved a guy because he stalked you:: Stalking is just talking with an S. But uh, no.
Loved a guy because he hated you:: No
Asked your friend's crush out:: Yes, but in my defense, I didn't know!
Lead a guy on for kicks:: Yes
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott:: Yes, and this "Hott" you speak of...Is it hotter than the average Hot?
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:: Not anymore, no
Lied about not having a boyfriend:: yes, but it's all in the past!
Lied about having one:: no
Cheated:: no
Been Cheated on:: yes
Had a crush on a gay guy:: uh, no
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?:: cute
Briefs?:: no
Hat?:: As long as it's not pulled backwards. No, it's not cool. And you're not keeping it real. Wear the goddamn hat in the fucking right way. Punk kids.
Skater Shoes?:: Sure
Pimp Shoes?:: What do "pimp" shoes look like? Do they pimp skanky pumps and sandals? Got bitches working the shelves of payless? Man, that's hardcore.
Band Shirts?:: What are band shirts? are they just regular shirts but musical??!?!
Vintage shirts?:: Yessir
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:: Oh god, hell no
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Independent/DC?:: what?
S&M/Little Devil?:: oooh kinky, but no
Fox/Thor?:: the hell?
Jeans or Shorts?:: Both are fine
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:: Hahaha, god yes
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:: Only if he's a doctor lawyer lutheran
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:: The amount of suckage displayed by his friends? No.
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?: yeah
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:: No and as far as I'm concerned, I've only screwed/deflowered one guy
Do looks matter?:: Yeah, but we're not talking ewan mcgregor hot. Then again, who is<3???
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:: No.
Does size matter?:: ......well. yes. <---haha oh man, I love the girl who did this before me. But my answer would be no.
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?:: No, no, it's chill.
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:: hahaha I LOLed on this one, but no.
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):: Or what? You're going to release the hounds? or the bees? or the hounds with bees in their mouths so when they ba--fuck it, NO.
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:: Honesty is best
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:: No. And in fact, I like to talk about my sex life, which I like to fill with hyperbole, with mormons.
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:: My ass is pristine. So next!
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:: He's on schedule all the time
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?: So much for that dream
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?: "Guys?"
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:: Yes, I had a dream about my bf's friend kissing my bf. HEY, TRY TO GUESS WHICH ONE!
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:: How hot is this guy friend? Am I single? Hmmm, BUT I did grab Will's ass one time to see his reaction. HAHAHAHA! Good times. I LOLed while typing this, too.
Does this survey suck nuts?: Only hairy black ones