....sometimes there just isn't enough time in a day...
So I haven't updated in a while because my computer has bitten the dust... but you know what I have realized? That I can't control my everyday life, I just take it like it is. I hate the way the world ticks it makes me mad.
Whatever, if you want to read it then if not then don't it doesn't matter to me.
You wake up one morning and all these thought start to overflow in your head. Things like why you have to be where you are in life and why things work they way they do. But I have realized that I am here for a reason and I have finally met someone that is worth waking up next too in the morning. Someone that will kick me in the ass when I need it and someone that challenges me when I don't want to be challenged but need to be.
That man is Austin.
Last night after fighting with my dad and apologizing, Austin tried cheering me up. Telling me it was my night so we were going to do what I wanted. I have learned with him that normally it will turn into something he suggest. Not that I am complaining because we have alot of the same interest, but you know. The night hadn't started to good after arguing with dad anyways, so I hopped in the shower and got dressed and Austin and I left with plans to get up and go to TCC and then go to the lake today. Needless to say that did not happen, again I am not complaining. So we had plans to go catch up with some of his friends and play a game or two of pool at pockets, but he wanted differently. We headed to my get away, yes..my get away. Wal-mart. Our firt stop was Seven Eleven. That's were both of our new comfort food exists. The slurpee. The man that came up with that is a cheer quiness. The we proceeded to the walmart were we got out of the car and set our slurpees on the top of the car to learn a quick lesson that he wanted to teach me. I payed attention to him intensly. He talked about how I shouldn't react whenever I get upset I should respond. Except he used an example of both of us holding swords and I was to (something that started with a p) instead of stab the other person. I should fight back. Something I am not used to doing. At all. This is something for me. So after the lesson was learned I said you still like me though right? and he looked into my eyes and said.
I don't like you.
I love you.
You are a good person, and you have a good heart.
Someday you are going to do great things.
And you know what? I am going to help you.
Tears overcame my eyes, much like they did as I typed this and all I could do was stand there.
He asked if I was ok and I looked up at him with a smile on my face and said thank you.
I don't think he quite understood why, but it was something I half expected never to come.
Standing there in the parking lot if Walmart, I knew that this was something I would never forget. WE proceeded into the walmart were we walked around talking and drinking our slurpees and I tried on these pants.
I will not proceed with the rest of the night, it's not important, but to me that was something I had waited for all of my life. A perfect moment like that. And there it was. With him. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.
Today we slept until 3:00pm and got up to go to lunch.
After that we went to Tcc and sat down to plan the classes both he and I were taking this semester.
All I know is on Monday, Wednesday and Friday we have Algebra together.
Tuesday and Thursdaay we have Physcology together.
And that is the greatest feeling.
As we werew sitting in the library he turned to me and said, you know baby, we should just live together. WE are going to be with each other so much.
I just smiled.
It's not something I can honestly say I want to happen. It would be nice, but I dont' want that.
Part of me is scared. However he's promised me so much that I shouldn't be afraid.
Dad and I talked he said that he doesn't have much money and he may not be able to pay rent this month.
He said he may move me into an apartment and disappear. I will admit at frist I was kinda scared about the idea of being on my own, but now, it doesn't phase me. I can do it. I can be on my own and be just fine.
I have Austin and that's all that matters to me.
I've got my priorites straight, and I am finally going somewhere with my life. And that my friends is my purpose for living. That is the reason I am here. To fullfill what I have wanted to do. If not for that, then to prove to myself that I can do it. I am going to college in August and Christopher isn't. That is something I have rubbed in my dad's face.
Even my aunt and uncle and you know what? They did even show a little bit of enthusiasm for me. They just asked about my brother. Well you know what? Fuck them. I am proud of myself. Even if no one else is. Look how far I have come. And look who I am becoming.
I have something to be proud of finally.
-Leah-
Whatever, if you want to read it then if not then don't it doesn't matter to me.
You wake up one morning and all these thought start to overflow in your head. Things like why you have to be where you are in life and why things work they way they do. But I have realized that I am here for a reason and I have finally met someone that is worth waking up next too in the morning. Someone that will kick me in the ass when I need it and someone that challenges me when I don't want to be challenged but need to be.
That man is Austin.
Last night after fighting with my dad and apologizing, Austin tried cheering me up. Telling me it was my night so we were going to do what I wanted. I have learned with him that normally it will turn into something he suggest. Not that I am complaining because we have alot of the same interest, but you know. The night hadn't started to good after arguing with dad anyways, so I hopped in the shower and got dressed and Austin and I left with plans to get up and go to TCC and then go to the lake today. Needless to say that did not happen, again I am not complaining. So we had plans to go catch up with some of his friends and play a game or two of pool at pockets, but he wanted differently. We headed to my get away, yes..my get away. Wal-mart. Our firt stop was Seven Eleven. That's were both of our new comfort food exists. The slurpee. The man that came up with that is a cheer quiness. The we proceeded to the walmart were we got out of the car and set our slurpees on the top of the car to learn a quick lesson that he wanted to teach me. I payed attention to him intensly. He talked about how I shouldn't react whenever I get upset I should respond. Except he used an example of both of us holding swords and I was to (something that started with a p) instead of stab the other person. I should fight back. Something I am not used to doing. At all. This is something for me. So after the lesson was learned I said you still like me though right? and he looked into my eyes and said.
I don't like you.
I love you.
You are a good person, and you have a good heart.
Someday you are going to do great things.
And you know what? I am going to help you.
Tears overcame my eyes, much like they did as I typed this and all I could do was stand there.
He asked if I was ok and I looked up at him with a smile on my face and said thank you.
I don't think he quite understood why, but it was something I half expected never to come.
Standing there in the parking lot if Walmart, I knew that this was something I would never forget. WE proceeded into the walmart were we walked around talking and drinking our slurpees and I tried on these pants.
I will not proceed with the rest of the night, it's not important, but to me that was something I had waited for all of my life. A perfect moment like that. And there it was. With him. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.
Today we slept until 3:00pm and got up to go to lunch.
After that we went to Tcc and sat down to plan the classes both he and I were taking this semester.
All I know is on Monday, Wednesday and Friday we have Algebra together.
Tuesday and Thursdaay we have Physcology together.
And that is the greatest feeling.
As we werew sitting in the library he turned to me and said, you know baby, we should just live together. WE are going to be with each other so much.
I just smiled.
It's not something I can honestly say I want to happen. It would be nice, but I dont' want that.
Part of me is scared. However he's promised me so much that I shouldn't be afraid.
Dad and I talked he said that he doesn't have much money and he may not be able to pay rent this month.
He said he may move me into an apartment and disappear. I will admit at frist I was kinda scared about the idea of being on my own, but now, it doesn't phase me. I can do it. I can be on my own and be just fine.
I have Austin and that's all that matters to me.
I've got my priorites straight, and I am finally going somewhere with my life. And that my friends is my purpose for living. That is the reason I am here. To fullfill what I have wanted to do. If not for that, then to prove to myself that I can do it. I am going to college in August and Christopher isn't. That is something I have rubbed in my dad's face.
Even my aunt and uncle and you know what? They did even show a little bit of enthusiasm for me. They just asked about my brother. Well you know what? Fuck them. I am proud of myself. Even if no one else is. Look how far I have come. And look who I am becoming.
I have something to be proud of finally.
-Leah-