Why her?
Author: ooarekusuoo
Title: Why her?
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jongkey
A/N: I haven't written in ages, so I apologize, I'm a bit rusty.
Also, just as a side note, I like Jonghyun and Sekyung together, I just like Jongkey more :)
"Why her?" The voice pierced through the air like an arrow, shattering the silence. Jonghyun raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what the other boy meant. "What are you talking about?"
"You know who I'm talking about," Key spat, the towel brushing roughly over the dishes he was drying. "Don't even think for a second that I'll fall for that puppy dog bull crap."
Jonghyun sighed; arguing with Kibum was about as useful as trying to get Onew to stop body gags. He knew the conversation would have come up eventually, so he was more or less prepared for it.
"Well, why not?"
Key rolled his eyes and tossed the towel aside. "Why not? Why not? Have you seen her face or do I need to pull up a nice HD picture on the computer so that you can get a closer look?"
Jonghyun blinked, his eyes momentarily darting to the plate Key was clutching, which he worried might be on the floor in pieces soon. "What's wrong with her face? I think she's pretty."
"Don't get me wrong Jonghyun, she's decent looking, but if you're going to use someone to cover up our relationship, don't you think you should find someone...you know, better?"
The older boy paused and shot Key a weird look. It’s been quiet since his "relationship" with Shin Se Kyung went public, so he couldn't understand why Kibum was going all drama queen on him now of all times. If he was unsatisfied with Jonghyun's choice in a cover-up, he could've complained when he had first proposed the idea to him. She had confessed to having strong feelings for Jonghyun, and not wanting to reject her, he decided it might be a good idea to have a public front of a relationship to throw fans off of him and Key while giving the girl a chance to date him without much complications.
"Why are you bringing this up now Kibum? You’ve had plenty of chances to tell me you were unhappy with her," Jonghyun said as he gently removed the plate from Key's clenched hands and set it on the counter before dragging the younger boy to sit beside him at the table.
Key threw his hands up in the air before bringing them back down and using them to cover his face.
"I don't know Jonghyun. I just can't help but compare myself to her. I mean, sure, she's okay looking and nice and all, but whenever I think about who you'd be with if you weren't with me, I always imagine someone more...special, you know? So seeing you with someone like her just makes me feel like that's how you see me; just your everyday pretty face with a two-dimensional personality."
A hand reached out and rubbed the side of Kibums face. Jonghyun had no idea that the whole public relationship had bugged the younger boy to this extent. It was obvious he wouldn't be too pleased with having his boyfriend be allegedly dating some celebrity, but the thought that Kibum saw her as real competition both moved and worried Jonghyun.
Kibum sharply moved away from Jonghyun's touch and kept his eyes lowered on the table. He hadn't intended for his action to be so harsh, yet he couldn't help but act on his inner feelings. Jonghyun look at him, his expression pained.
"Kibum-ah...don't be upset... You know this relationship is fake, right?"
A pair of feline eyes shot up to briefly meet Jonghyun's almond ones, only to return to the table mere seconds later. "I know Jonghyun, but it doesn't... seem fake."
Jongyun's eyebrow shot up. "It's not supposed to Kibum. If it looked faked, everything would be suspicious and the whole thing would fail. I have to pretend to like her and look interested in order to convince-"
"Do you have to look so damn happy?" Key interjected, raising his voice. "I understand putting on a front to fool the audience, but the smile they capture in photos when you two are together... it’s a smile I never see anymore, Jonghyun."
The loud voice startled Jonghyun, but he wasn't too surprised by the voice as he was by what it said.
"I mean, it’s like, every time I see a photo of you two, she looks smitten and you look like you've gone to heaven. I'm sorry, but it’s kind of hard, even for me, to believe that you don't have any feelings for her when you carry that sort of expression around her," Kibum continued, his eyes beginning to brim with tears.
He hadn't originally intended to let Jonghyun know just how much the whole thing bothered him, for the sake of their relationship, but he said what he said and it was too late to take it back now. Jonghyun shut his eyes, his right hand clenching into a fist until his knuckles turned white.
"Do you know why I smile like that every time I'm around her, Kibum? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, just fucking maybe, that smile wasn't for her?" Jonghyun murmured quietly, clearly trying to control his tone so that he wouldn't burst out yelling. Kibum's selfish behaviour really bothered him sometimes.
Key looked up at him, eyes wide and surprised, as he shook his head in response, before quickly lowering his gaze once more.
"Well maybe, just maybe, I smile like that, because I know that at the end of the day, I can go home and spend the rest of the night with you by my side, without having to fear anything. Maybe, just maybe, all day long, there is nothing I look forward to more than finally being able to hug you. And maybe, just maybe, every time I'm on a date, I imagine I'm with you which makes it that much easier to pretend."
Kibum bit back on his lip, his sharp eyes finally meeting Jonghyun's angry ones.
"Jonghyun.. I'm sorry...I had no idea..." he apologized and touched Jonghyun's arm, but the latter roughly brushed him off.
"No Kibum, no you didn't. I can't fucking believe you would accuse me like that. All this time and you still don't trust me. I don't even know what to say to you right now."
Tears finally began to escape Key's eyelined eyes, and make their way down his cheek; Kibum's hand was still half bent in the air, in the same position from when Jonghyun had wriggled out of his grasp.
"I'm sorry," he managed to choke up, and reached out to grab onto Jonghyun again, but was rejected once more as Jonghyun stood up.
"Yeah, I understand. I love you, but right now, I don't think I can talk to you without lashing out at you, and I really don't want to do that. So, I'm just going to leave for a bit to calm down and then we can talk. Don't cry, okay?"
Key wanted to nod, but what he did instead was say something he immediately regretted. "You're going to see her, aren't you?"
The words were barely a whisper, but it was enough to drive Jonghyun over the edge, and not in a good way that his words usually did when they were alone together. With a frustrated groan, Jonghyun hit the wall with the side of his fist and stormed out of the apartment, leaving Key as a bawling mess on the kitchen table.
Jonghyun, of course, would come back and spend hours regretting every single tear that Key had shed, because he loved the jealous drama-queen that Key was, and nothing could change that. But for now, he needed to get away and cool his head before he did something he really regretted.
---
It was around six o'clock on a Wednesday, so Shin Sekyung wasn't really expecting any visitors. However, she was quite surprised when a broken-looking Jonghyun showed up at her door out of the blue.
"Fight with Key?"
One look from him was all that she needed in order to know the whole story. She led the sad boy into her living room and sat him down on the couch while she went to go get him something warm to drink.
She returned several minutes later with a cup of tea, which she set in front of Jonghyun before taking a seat across from him. "Alright, now tell me, what was it this time?"
Jonghyun eyed the cup momentarily as if contemplating whether he should drink it or not, but his eyes lowered to the ground as he sank back into the couch.
"I don't even know anymore. He's so controlling and clingy, he has bitch fits, his attitude is annoying and his jealousy is out of control but-"
"But you love him."
Jonghyun nodded reluctantly. Even though Key had numerous bad qualities, Jonghyun felt that his good qualities outnumbered them by millions. His need to always be in control didn't seem so bad when he took charge of planning dates and such. His bitch fits were more bearable when Jonghyun realized they were all thrown because Key really cared about him, and his jealousy was even kind of cute sometimes; the list could go on.
"It’s just... he doesn't trust me. I mean, I don't blame him, you're really pretty, smart, nice and all, and I might be really into you if I liked girls, but he should know that I'd never do anything to betray him."
Sekyung smiled tightly, trying not to let his words hurt her. She was well aware that she was nothing more to him than a cover, and even though they had become quite close as their "relationship" progressed, she would always be nothing more to him than "that girl", the one who's always smiling and helping him fix his relationship with Key.
"Well, you have to understand his feelings too Jonghyun. I don't think you'd be too pleased if he was running around and spending his every waking minute with some girl and having the media be all over them as a couple."
Jonghyun sighed. He felt bad for always coming to Sekyung for help, as she had feelings for him which he could not return, but she was the only female Key allowed in his life for obvious reasons, so he had to make do with what little he had. He just hoped that she understood why he couldn't be with her, and that it had nothing to do with her.
"I'd try to be a little more understanding though. If I knew it was fake, I wouldn't get all freaky over it!"
Sekyung sighed and gave a small laugh. "Oh Jonghyun. Poor, naive little Jonghyun. Are you trying to tell me that you wouldn't even feel the smallest twinge of jealousy if you saw him with someone other than yourself?"
"Well, I wouldn't get so worked up over some girl.."
"Ah, but what if he was with a guy?"
"But that's different... I know he likes guys so obviously I wouldn't be comfortable seeing him with one."
"Oh, so you're finally starting to see how Kibum feels."
"What do you mean?"
"He's the first and only boy you've ever been with Jonghyun. He probably still has concerns over where exactly your sexuality lies."
Jonghyun pondered the idea for a moment. Sekyung was right. Key had liked and been with boys his entire life, so Jonghyun had no doubts over his sexual preferences, whereas Jonghyun had only realized his sexuality when Key came into his life. It was no wonder that Key still had doubts over whether Jjong was really gay or if Key was the first and only boy he's been attracted too, which of course brings up the possibility of Jonghyun being bisexual and so on.
"I guess you're right. Thanks Sekyung, it really means a lot," Jonghyun said, and offered her his infamous dinosaur grin. Sekyung merely gave him a tight lipped smile and looked away before he had a chance to notice her reddening face.
"So, are you excited for that movie with Rain-hyung? I hear you two got casted for the leads."
Sekyung seemed startled by the question but she quickly regained her composure. "Oh, yeah, Jihoon-oppa is a great actor and he treats me well."
"Oh really now," Jonghyun said with a teasing wink, but Sekyung pretended she hadn't heard him. The boy was horribly insensitive sometimes.
"Anyways, I think you should go make up with Key now before he overdoses on pills again," Sekyung said as she got up.
Jonghyun's eyes went wide as he remembered the exact state he had left Key in, and he jumped up and bolted for the door.
"Thanks for the help Sekyung, I'll see you soon," he said and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before darting out the door.
Sekyung closed the door behind him and leaned back against it with a sigh. Would anything ever change?
---
"Kibum? Kibum-ah!" Jonghyun called as he burst into their apartment, looking frantic. A weak groan from the kitchen told him what he needed to know.
Key was hunched over the table, surrounded by what seemed like a puddle of what Jonghyun assumed to be tears. The soulless looking figure briefly glanced up at Jonghyun as he entered the kitchen and quickly hid it's face as Jonghyun approached it.
"Don't look at me, I'm hideous."
Jonghyun smiled and sat down beside Key. He reached out and gently took hold of the younger boy's head, turning it to face him. Key blinked up at him, his hair a horrible mess and make-up in long streaks down his cheeks; Jonghyun grinned.
"Oh god you are hideous."
Key's eyes widened and he let out a loud howl before bursting into tears again. Jonghyun laughed and picked up his face once more.
"Don't be silly, stupid. You know you're beatiful," he said, and Kibum did his best to keep his heartbroken-little-princess face, "But I'd love you even if you looked like Jinki."
And with that, Jonghyun gave Key a firm kiss on the lips, to let him know that everything was okay, just as a loud "Hey!" came from the other room.
"Just kidding hyung," Jonghyun called with a smile, and glanced back down at Key. "Now, let's go shower, I gotta get you cleaned up."