Gift for the community~♥
Soo~ We've reached around the midway mark for the gifts, and now it's time for a gift to the community~
Title of your gift: Mincemeat Semen Thief
Receiver's username: The community~♥
Rating: PG -13. There's some swearing and mentions of sensitive subjects, but no sex or violence.
Pairing(s)/Character(s) Gen: Abe and Mihashi.
Disclaimer: I don't actually own these guys. If I did that one shower scene would had have gone much different. Much different.
Warnings (if any): Some stuff about abortions. Lawyer AU. Mihashi actually makes the first move and Abe is still a douche.
Author/Artist notes (if any): I wanted Abe to be a lawyer. Shoot me. Inspired by this Abe, this Mihashi, and Boston Legal. I totally wish I had something akin to a request from an actual requester but I didn't. I love what bosslady gave me and I totally tried with a few but I failed. I'M SORRY BOSSLADY. But here's the fic. Please try and keep in mind that Mihashi is really smart at one subject, his is lawyer-ing- otherwise he's dumb, like usual. This is basically a pilot episode with no planned sequel -sorry.
The traditional way for getting into a relationship after getting over an addiction was a simple, formulaic equation. A+B=C but only if variable A and B stayed constant. Buy yourself a plant and a dog and if after a prolonged period of time they stayed healthy, the variable C, a relationship, could be pursued. A simple formula for a simple thing.
But Abe had needs and wants more than the other guys. He didn't want to wait a 'prolonged' period of time before he could meet someone special again. It would have been a longer time period if he had been anyone else; given the last relationship he had been in ended with much more than tears. The bloodshed had been an unplanned and unfortunate part of the break-up. He had cared for his cat fine - the cat had minded its own business and Abe his - they had a mutual understanding. Abe used it to keep his feet warm at night and the cat used him to keep itself fed. That was another simple formula that Abe easily could answer. But he didn't feel like trying to re-claim his cat on grounds that he was 'cured' magically from his 'temporary insanity'. He had never been insane and he would fight the point. Insane people couldn't care for cats. Insane people didn't date women who would snap his nose during an argument.
He had cared for the cat and dated a woman who broke his nose. He had never been insane.
It was only proper that he'd been discharged. His only disappointment was that the decision wasn't reached sooner. The psych ward was not a place Abe had belonged to. There hadn't been a single time he'd tried to slit open his wrist because Satan had told him to like the woman in the room next to him. He hadn't screamed his throat raw then tried to claw out the 'maggots' a second later like the drug addict down the hall. The psych ward was not a place Abe should had been. He had been a straight-lace, blue-collar kind of guy his whole life and still was.
Thankfully, his firm kept him hired even after he had been treated for those bullshit charges of temporary insanity. Un-thankfully they had hired a new guy to replace him during his time-of-leave.
Mihashi was petite, blond, and square -Abe wasn't even being a high school prick. Mihashi boxed his shoulders all the time and had a very flat surface and looked like a square. He stuttered and couldn't meet anyone's eyes, so when Abe had to shake his hand he nearly broke the poor kid's fingers.
"Good morning, I heard you… filled in for me?" Abe tried to dislodge his hand from Mihashi's as soon as possible. There was no way this kid could look anymore uncool. How had he even been hired in such a prestigious law firm in the first place? He was positively swimming in the shirt and the tie didn't match anything. It clashed with his skin tone and made him look like he had Hepatitis C or something equally unpleasant. It was all Abe could do to not sneer when Mihashi opened his mouth.
The first thing Abe noticed when Mihashi opened his mouth was that no sound came after. He lowered his head, wondering if Mihashi was choking on his own tongue. Abe jerked back when Mihashi blurted out, not hindered by his tongue at all, "Y-yes! I, um, did my… best?" His voice was getting smaller and smaller and Abe felt sick when he thought of this guy in court. He couldn’t' even stand up for himself, let alone someone trying to keep their marriage together after boning a lamb up the rump. Abe dropped his shoulders and tried his damnest and his hardest not to sigh, but he did. The effect on Mihashi was immediate.
First, Mihashi's shoulders dropped. Then, he bowed his head and tried to sputter out an apology but that was quickly shot because now the kid was crying. Abe couldn't even deny how much he was put off by this kid. People were walking by and looking at them oddly. The last thing Abe needed was an office scandal. The last last thing he needed after being released was being ratted out on for harassing the new kid. "I'm… sorry?" Abe tried to apologize but he couldn't. He had done nothing wrong and the kid was just a pussy.
He knew if he walked away his boss would have one hell of bone to pick with him, but the last thing Abe wanted was to spend anymore time with Mihashi. Again, people were staring at them as they passed and whispering under their breaths. Abe gritted his teeth and put his hand on Mihashi's elbow, lightly pinching the skin, "Look, uh. I didn't mean it. I didn't even do anything so… stop crying. Please." The please was added as an after thought. Maybe pleasantries would make the son-of-a-bitch stop crying faster.
Luckily it did. Mihashi looked up at Abe before backing off ever so slightly, trying to find something else besides Abe to look at. Another thing Abe couldn't stand was people avoiding eye contact. He withdrew his hand and looked back behind himself, wondering if he could make a run for it- "A-Abe?"
Abe nearly missed Mihashi's voice over his own internal struggles. Quickly he whipped his head back to look at Mihashi. It was the first time they had ever really made eye contact. So he waited for Mihashi to say what he needed to be said. "U-um, A-Abe. I-I was w-wondering why you were…" Mihashi dropped off again much to Abe's frustration. He was just about to physically move Mihashi out of his way so he could get to his office when Mihashi stopped him. Abe nearly jumped out of his skin when Mihashi grabbed a hold of his hand and asked him with more force that Abe though possible from the kid, "D-do you want to go get coffee?"
Now he wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to refuse but he sure as hell didn't want to agree. He backed up from Mihashi and quickly tried to find some kind of escape rope dangling somewhere to give him a legit reason for leaving. No fault presented itself to Abe and it seemed like no fault would ever present itself to relieve Abe of Mihashi. Reluctantly, he opened his mouth and said: "Alright, after work sounds fine." As soon as the words left his mouth he instantly regretted them.
It was obvious that Mihashi didn't. Mihashi was making like it was the best news he had ever heard. He perked up, mouth curving up and eyes widening. Abe had to roll his eyes when Mihashi's shoulders boxed themselves again -luckily, Mihashi didn't see it and he was in the clear. "I-I'll s-see you then, Abe!" Mihashi quipped, jumping slightly on spot and dashing off, looking much more pleased than Abe liked.
He wasn't sure when a cup of coffee turned into a drink at the bar but somehow it happened. There was no denying it, though -once Abe had downed his first few cups of sake and lager, Mihashi wasn't so much as an annoying colleague as an eccentric friend. Mihashi hadn't had so much of a sip of his own beer but eagerly paid attention to every slurred thing Abe said.
"How should I try this case? I mean, get this," Abe slurred out, nudging shoulders with Mihashi who squeaked at the contact. "This guy wants me to get this lady he had a one-night stand with an abortion." Mihashi nodded and Abe nodded as well, "She gave him what had to be the best blow-job ever and saved his come to get herself pregnant. How the hell am I going to try this, Mihashi?"
He noted that Mihashi jumped when asked a question. For the first time that night Mihashi picked up his cup and cradled it close to his body, nursing the foam still in tack on the top of his drink, "U-um." Mihashi took another sip, "Theft."
The word went in one ear and out the other. Abe looked at Mihashi dumbly and he opened his mouth to ask why but Mihashi beat him to the punch, "Y-you may a-ask why, b-but it's simple. S-she stole his… s-sperm. T-treat it as theft." Mihashi looked around the bar and put his drink back down. Abe looked at Mihashi through his drunken haze and suddenly he broke a smile and laughed. "D-did I s-say something?" Mihashi asked, worry clouding his posture.
Abe shook his head, slapped Mihashi's back, and ordered another round.
The morning came way too fast and the throbbing in his head was far too insistent to be his heartbeat. Abe looked up at his alarm clock with dispassion before turning it off and finding that some of the throbbing had been his heartbeat. But he knew something, even through the fog of pain surrounding him - and it was all thanks to that dip-shit Mihashi.
His new trial would most definitely be tried as a theft case.
Title of your gift: Mincemeat Semen Thief
Receiver's username: The community~♥
Rating: PG -13. There's some swearing and mentions of sensitive subjects, but no sex or violence.
Pairing(s)/Character(s) Gen: Abe and Mihashi.
Disclaimer: I don't actually own these guys. If I did that one shower scene would had have gone much different. Much different.
Warnings (if any): Some stuff about abortions. Lawyer AU. Mihashi actually makes the first move and Abe is still a douche.
Author/Artist notes (if any): I wanted Abe to be a lawyer. Shoot me. Inspired by this Abe, this Mihashi, and Boston Legal. I totally wish I had something akin to a request from an actual requester but I didn't. I love what bosslady gave me and I totally tried with a few but I failed. I'M SORRY BOSSLADY. But here's the fic. Please try and keep in mind that Mihashi is really smart at one subject, his is lawyer-ing- otherwise he's dumb, like usual. This is basically a pilot episode with no planned sequel -sorry.
The traditional way for getting into a relationship after getting over an addiction was a simple, formulaic equation. A+B=C but only if variable A and B stayed constant. Buy yourself a plant and a dog and if after a prolonged period of time they stayed healthy, the variable C, a relationship, could be pursued. A simple formula for a simple thing.
But Abe had needs and wants more than the other guys. He didn't want to wait a 'prolonged' period of time before he could meet someone special again. It would have been a longer time period if he had been anyone else; given the last relationship he had been in ended with much more than tears. The bloodshed had been an unplanned and unfortunate part of the break-up. He had cared for his cat fine - the cat had minded its own business and Abe his - they had a mutual understanding. Abe used it to keep his feet warm at night and the cat used him to keep itself fed. That was another simple formula that Abe easily could answer. But he didn't feel like trying to re-claim his cat on grounds that he was 'cured' magically from his 'temporary insanity'. He had never been insane and he would fight the point. Insane people couldn't care for cats. Insane people didn't date women who would snap his nose during an argument.
He had cared for the cat and dated a woman who broke his nose. He had never been insane.
It was only proper that he'd been discharged. His only disappointment was that the decision wasn't reached sooner. The psych ward was not a place Abe had belonged to. There hadn't been a single time he'd tried to slit open his wrist because Satan had told him to like the woman in the room next to him. He hadn't screamed his throat raw then tried to claw out the 'maggots' a second later like the drug addict down the hall. The psych ward was not a place Abe should had been. He had been a straight-lace, blue-collar kind of guy his whole life and still was.
Thankfully, his firm kept him hired even after he had been treated for those bullshit charges of temporary insanity. Un-thankfully they had hired a new guy to replace him during his time-of-leave.
Mihashi was petite, blond, and square -Abe wasn't even being a high school prick. Mihashi boxed his shoulders all the time and had a very flat surface and looked like a square. He stuttered and couldn't meet anyone's eyes, so when Abe had to shake his hand he nearly broke the poor kid's fingers.
"Good morning, I heard you… filled in for me?" Abe tried to dislodge his hand from Mihashi's as soon as possible. There was no way this kid could look anymore uncool. How had he even been hired in such a prestigious law firm in the first place? He was positively swimming in the shirt and the tie didn't match anything. It clashed with his skin tone and made him look like he had Hepatitis C or something equally unpleasant. It was all Abe could do to not sneer when Mihashi opened his mouth.
The first thing Abe noticed when Mihashi opened his mouth was that no sound came after. He lowered his head, wondering if Mihashi was choking on his own tongue. Abe jerked back when Mihashi blurted out, not hindered by his tongue at all, "Y-yes! I, um, did my… best?" His voice was getting smaller and smaller and Abe felt sick when he thought of this guy in court. He couldn’t' even stand up for himself, let alone someone trying to keep their marriage together after boning a lamb up the rump. Abe dropped his shoulders and tried his damnest and his hardest not to sigh, but he did. The effect on Mihashi was immediate.
First, Mihashi's shoulders dropped. Then, he bowed his head and tried to sputter out an apology but that was quickly shot because now the kid was crying. Abe couldn't even deny how much he was put off by this kid. People were walking by and looking at them oddly. The last thing Abe needed was an office scandal. The last last thing he needed after being released was being ratted out on for harassing the new kid. "I'm… sorry?" Abe tried to apologize but he couldn't. He had done nothing wrong and the kid was just a pussy.
He knew if he walked away his boss would have one hell of bone to pick with him, but the last thing Abe wanted was to spend anymore time with Mihashi. Again, people were staring at them as they passed and whispering under their breaths. Abe gritted his teeth and put his hand on Mihashi's elbow, lightly pinching the skin, "Look, uh. I didn't mean it. I didn't even do anything so… stop crying. Please." The please was added as an after thought. Maybe pleasantries would make the son-of-a-bitch stop crying faster.
Luckily it did. Mihashi looked up at Abe before backing off ever so slightly, trying to find something else besides Abe to look at. Another thing Abe couldn't stand was people avoiding eye contact. He withdrew his hand and looked back behind himself, wondering if he could make a run for it- "A-Abe?"
Abe nearly missed Mihashi's voice over his own internal struggles. Quickly he whipped his head back to look at Mihashi. It was the first time they had ever really made eye contact. So he waited for Mihashi to say what he needed to be said. "U-um, A-Abe. I-I was w-wondering why you were…" Mihashi dropped off again much to Abe's frustration. He was just about to physically move Mihashi out of his way so he could get to his office when Mihashi stopped him. Abe nearly jumped out of his skin when Mihashi grabbed a hold of his hand and asked him with more force that Abe though possible from the kid, "D-do you want to go get coffee?"
Now he wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to refuse but he sure as hell didn't want to agree. He backed up from Mihashi and quickly tried to find some kind of escape rope dangling somewhere to give him a legit reason for leaving. No fault presented itself to Abe and it seemed like no fault would ever present itself to relieve Abe of Mihashi. Reluctantly, he opened his mouth and said: "Alright, after work sounds fine." As soon as the words left his mouth he instantly regretted them.
It was obvious that Mihashi didn't. Mihashi was making like it was the best news he had ever heard. He perked up, mouth curving up and eyes widening. Abe had to roll his eyes when Mihashi's shoulders boxed themselves again -luckily, Mihashi didn't see it and he was in the clear. "I-I'll s-see you then, Abe!" Mihashi quipped, jumping slightly on spot and dashing off, looking much more pleased than Abe liked.
He wasn't sure when a cup of coffee turned into a drink at the bar but somehow it happened. There was no denying it, though -once Abe had downed his first few cups of sake and lager, Mihashi wasn't so much as an annoying colleague as an eccentric friend. Mihashi hadn't had so much of a sip of his own beer but eagerly paid attention to every slurred thing Abe said.
"How should I try this case? I mean, get this," Abe slurred out, nudging shoulders with Mihashi who squeaked at the contact. "This guy wants me to get this lady he had a one-night stand with an abortion." Mihashi nodded and Abe nodded as well, "She gave him what had to be the best blow-job ever and saved his come to get herself pregnant. How the hell am I going to try this, Mihashi?"
He noted that Mihashi jumped when asked a question. For the first time that night Mihashi picked up his cup and cradled it close to his body, nursing the foam still in tack on the top of his drink, "U-um." Mihashi took another sip, "Theft."
The word went in one ear and out the other. Abe looked at Mihashi dumbly and he opened his mouth to ask why but Mihashi beat him to the punch, "Y-you may a-ask why, b-but it's simple. S-she stole his… s-sperm. T-treat it as theft." Mihashi looked around the bar and put his drink back down. Abe looked at Mihashi through his drunken haze and suddenly he broke a smile and laughed. "D-did I s-say something?" Mihashi asked, worry clouding his posture.
Abe shook his head, slapped Mihashi's back, and ordered another round.
The morning came way too fast and the throbbing in his head was far too insistent to be his heartbeat. Abe looked up at his alarm clock with dispassion before turning it off and finding that some of the throbbing had been his heartbeat. But he knew something, even through the fog of pain surrounding him - and it was all thanks to that dip-shit Mihashi.
His new trial would most definitely be tried as a theft case.