WAYS TO TELL YOU'VE BEEN IN BAND WAY TOO LONG!
i found this at a website and kasey and i died laughing at some of these!!! i really hope your not bored enough to read ALL of them!
Ways Too Tell You've
Been in Band WAY Too Long.
1. During concert season you wish you where out on the field
2. You spend more time in the band room then at your own house.
3. You go to parades that you are not in and make sure lines are straight, horn angles are parallel, and everyone is on step.
4. You can play every cadence the drum plays despite the fact you play clarinet
5. You always start off on the left foot
6. You can't walk and listen to music at the same time without marching to the beat.
7. Your fondest memories of high school are from being in the band.
8. When you hear your favorite songs from band you can't help but do the fingering for the notes with the song.
9. You don't know the melody of a song because you only remember the part you played in band.
10. You can pick out all the different parts in any song....and name the instruments that play them.
11. You constantly sing old band tunes years after playing them
12. When your favorite mode of transportation is yellow and seats 45
13. When some one starts clapping you automatically think "Attention!!"
14. When you have pictures away trips and football games plastered to your wall.
15. When you still have the farmers tan from last band camp!
16. When your Bus gets lost and you can tell the driver which way to go.
17. When you hum the school song!
18. You watch the Super Bowl and think, 'Wow, that would be a fun stadium to march in!'
19. When your whole day is ruined if your band director misses work
20. When you decide to have lunch with the band director instead of your "other" friends.-
21. When you go to get a new car, the car you get must be able to haul your instrument.
22. Your goal in life is to be a drum major
23. When you're referred to as the marching band groupie.
24. When you watch football games on TV just so you have a chance of seeing their band.
25. When everytime you drive by somewhere, you remember a band competition.
26. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
27. When being mauled by a drummer is an everyday part of life.
28. When people worry when they see you without your instrument.
29. When band camp is FUN!
30. When you remember flats and sharps more than your own name.
31. When you dress to the lunch line.
32. When you urge other people to dress to the lunch line.
33. When your instrument has a name.
34. When making a line is your biggest accomplishment of the day.
35. When marching backward starts to remind you of ballet.
36. When you like to polish your shoes.
37. When your uniform fits.
38. When plume feathers become a fashion 'do'.
39. When you see your section more than your own family.
40. When the most popular people you know are the field-commanders.
41. When you think evening practices should last a half-hour longer.
42. When you accidentally call your band director 'Mom'.
43. When you can sight read.
44. When reeds taste good.
45. When you can put your uniform on in less than ten minutes.
46. When you think your plume is alive.
47. When numbers past 8 aren't important.
48. When you roll step through the cafeteria so you won't spill your lunch.
49. When you'd rather practice than read this list
50. When letters past 'G' aren't important.
51. When you don't try to hide the fact that you are in band.
52. When you eat lunch with all the other band people.
53. When you start to eat lunch in the band room.
54. When wide open spaces stir up an urge to march your show.
55. When you resort to humming your show music to get to sleep.
56. When your friends who aren't in marching band create a group called the 'non-marchers'.
57. When you have two instruments--a junky one for marching band and a good one for concert band.
58. When you can't go out on weekends.
59. When you don't see your parents on the weekends.
60. When drummers actually start to make sense.
61. When you wear your band shirt in public.
62. When you can make this list longer.
63. When you get the jokes on this list.
64. When every girl/guy interested in you is in band.
65. When you never wear jewelry or fingernail polish--
you'd have to take it off for competitions anyway.
66. When you know the National Anthem by heart and in more than one key.
67. When your instrument is worth more than your car.
68. When half the stuff in your room has the word 'band' on it.
69. When you and all your friends are easily tagged as 'band' when walking down the hall because you are all in a straight line and all in step.
70. When you can think of more than one reason to stop by the band room on your way to class.
71. When you can count on one hand your friends that are not in band.
72. When you get emotional thinking about your instrument being in the repair shop.
73. When you are still reading this list.
74. When riding a bus with no heat on you way to a competition is fun.
75. When upon emptying your pockets you can find either a screw driver, drum key, water bottle, valve oil, slide grease, cork grease, etc.
76. When you think parades are "F-U-N!"
77. When you can get anywhere in 12 steps or less.
78. When changing clothes on a bus/in front of a highway is a normal occurrence.
79. You walk in step with the person in front of you.
80. You point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
81. You like wearing your uniform.
82. Every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band.
83. People ask you about your social life and you say,
"Oh, you mean my (flute, trumpet, drums, horn, etc.)?"
84. You consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
85. You've had a "trombone-ectomy."
86. You practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
87. An armed guard is a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun
88. When someone says the word "box" and you automatically put your head up.
89. You're alone and you suffocate because there's no one telling you to breathe.
90. Slides feel normal.
91. You remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's.
92. You've practiced so long, the color guard is together
93. When dreams of marching are constantly in your head.
94. You prefer classical music to popular music.
95. When the trumpet section's ego seems normal.
96. When you actually believe Mrs. VK when she says, "Last time".
97. When you hang out in the band room before school, during school, and after school.
98. When your band director talks to you as a parent.
99. When you tend to talk more about band than anything else.
100. When you actually have the band phone number memorized instead of your own.
101. When you can memorize music better than vocabulary words.
102. When you only walk three steps away from everyone.
103. When you relate everything to band.
104. When you actually own more than one band shirt.
105. When you actually go out, get a dress/suit, and your hair done for the band banquet,but dress like a slob for prom.
106. When you actually know how many people are in the band and in each section better than you do than your academic classes and freshman/sophomore/junior/senior class.
107. When you calendar has more band/music "gigs" from you than your whole family does for the rest of your life.
108. When your car automatically goes to the parking spot nearest the bandroom.
109. When you only hang out with band peeps on weekends.
110. You look forward to football games and competitions, as well as practices!
111. You wish you were a band parent instead of a band member
so that you could make decisions at the parent meetings too.
112. You automatically "keep your toes up" even when you're not at practice.
113. You go to the bandroom when you cut class.
114. When you fear the band director more than you fear your parents.
115. When you are comfortable sleeping on a bus.
116. When you can't remember the last time the words
"Friday" and "football" weren't in the same sentence
117. When you have a favorite cadence.
118. When you hear music and start marking time.
119. When you have permanent braces-indentions on your upper lip
from pressing your mouth against your mouthpiece too hard
120. When you can tell who's in the bathroom by looking at their sneakers under the stall.
121. When you resort to humming your band music to fall asleep.
122. You can pick your band friends out of a crowd because
you recognize the back of their heads
123. You get excited if a song that your band plays comes on the radio (Sleigh Ride! Yeah!)
124. When dreams of marching are constantly in your head.
125. You have blisters on your hands from carrying your instrument too long
126. When you have your friends call you to attention before you walk anywhere.
127. When your furniture is dented from banging drumsticks on it.
128. When you can make this list longer.
129. When you get the jokes on this list.
130. When you can write a list like this.
131. When you don't panic about being the leader of a line.
132. When you want to be in front.
133. When you know when you're playing too loud.
134. When you daydream about a new instrument.
135. When your parents are proud of you band queer-ness.
136. When you actually know how to fix your intonation problems.
137. All of your friends are in band
138. You don't mind changing clothes on the bus
139. You point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio
140. You would never go out with someone unless they're a musician.
141. Your friends get mad at you because you try to practice on the phone.
142. You have a favorite key signature.
143. You have a favorite time signature.
144. Everyone you know swears that you must have some kind of oral fixation on your instrument.
144. You go to Wall-Mart late at night/early in the morning on Fridays and Saturdays.
145. You enjoy listening to professional bagpipe music.
146. You own at least 1 CD of a professional orchestra.
147. You listen for chord structure on the songs on the radio.
148. You think triplets are cool.
149. You know the actual length of a brass instrument when it's not all twisted up.
150. You spend more time on your reeds than you do on homework.
151. You have the e-mail addresses of your band director.
152. You begin to enjoy waking up at 5 am on Saturday mornings for competitions.
153. You have an emotional attachment to your instrument(s) .
154. You think of what instruments non-band people would play if they were in band.
155. You actually notice the music in movies, and talk about it more than the actual movie.
156. You understand the double meaning of "trombones know more positions.
157. You have a music stand in your bedroom.
158. You wait in line for an amusement park ride and you yell at everyone to "GUIDE!!!"
159. You honestly don't know what you would do if you couldn't hang out in front of the band room.
160. When you try to spell "BAND" in your alphabet soup.
161. You CAN understand what the drum major is saying.
162. When you're bored in class you write out the music that's in your head on your notes.
163. You have a metronome & a tuner next to your clock radio.
164. You make a list of band rituals and title it "You Know You're A Band Geek When..."
165. When you hear the "old navy-find magic" TV commercials and you crank them up cause you think the music would make a good marching show.
166. When you rush out to go buy the c.d. that your marching show is from.
167. Your proud of the tanline from your drum harness.
168. You get a drum cadence stuck in your head all day.
169. Looking around your house you see various sheet music scattered all about.
170. You complain the ESPN should have Drum Corps competitions broadcasted.
171. You annoy all your friends by singing your opener all day in class.
172. You walk up and down the hallways performing your show with a pretend flag, or instrument.
173. You get yelled at by your teachers for getting up and dancing to your show in the middle of class.
174. You understand everything on this list!
175. You actually read this and yell out "AND PROUD OF IT!!!"
176. You go around school bragging about what instrument you play.
177. You take marching band seriously.
178. You make fun of the band director instead of other kids.
179. You go to football games just to listen to the marching band play.
180. In your spare time, you dream about being the most perfect drum player/trumpet player or whatever you are.
181. While waiting for your computer to load you play drum cadences on the desk with your hands and hit the floor with your feet.
182. You go to the band room after school "just to hang out"
183. The French Horn section sounds good
184. You hang out with your instrument section and tell others they aren't invited because they aren't part of your section
185. Everyone, including the director, cries when you get a box 5 in a band competition
186. You have a story for each dent on your instrument
187. You have used your instrument as a weapon more than once
188. You play your instrument at family reunions
189. Your parents have more than 3 video tapes with band concerts on them
190. When you respond to "band nerd"
191. When marking time is your favorite form of exercise
192. When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil
193. When you root for the other football team to lessen the time of your season
194. When you know everybody else's personal business
195. When you subconsciously start humming your music
196. When you know not only your own part, but everyone else's too
197. When you don't remember your boy/girlfriend's birthday, but you remember everything from your opener from your freshman year
198. When you start learning to play stand songs on other instruments for more excitement
199. When you can strip out of your uniform in 5 seconds in order to get a stall in the bathroom before the crowds
200. When instead of an 8x10 school picture, on your mantel is a poster sized picture of the band
201. When you find a piece of a uniform and know who's it is by the number
202. When you know how to play 10 popular stand songs, yet don't know the words to any of them
203. When you learn how to sneak food under your hat to eat in the stands
246. When you have at least 5 different ways to fashionably put your hair up under your hat
204. When you actually take the time to put away your uniform and use hangers
205. When you spend free time cleaning up the band room for a free soda
206. When walking on mud no longer makes you slip
207. When you spend Sunday, your non-band day, adding more signs you've been in band too long to the list
208. When after you graduate you come back to help at band camp!
209. When you are CONVINCED your band teacher is the reincarnation of Satan
210. When you start break-dancing with the cheerleaders playing Louie-Louie
211. When you feel people don't come for the game, but the half-time show
212. When you're there at least 15 minutes early and leave 30 minutes late to make sure everyone has a ride
213. When the drummers actually look at the drum major because they are tired of looking at each other
214. When the guard is no longer cold at mid-season night game with only a leotard on
215. When the spit from cold mouth pieces no longer tastes like spit
216. When you memorize the drummer's parts before your own
217. When you take the time to figure out how to play your band songs on the phone
218. When your non-band friends make up a soap opera based on your life in band
219. When you date someone outside of band, and people start to look at you funny
220. When your friends are able to tell you what instrument someone plays just because you talk about band so much
221. When the highlight of you day is getting new band gloves with "grippies"
222. When the best thing that has happened to you in the four years of high school was getting your name announced as a band senior
223. When you spend your evenings rewriting music for underclassmen who can't play their parts
224. When you can remember every person and their instrument in band, but can't remember the 50 states for history class
225. All of the jokes on this list apply to you
226. You think a national monument should be built honoring John Philip Sousa. Heck, they should just chip off one of those president heads and put it there.
227. You’ve actually been to band camp and consider it the highlight of your summer.
228. You recite the alphabet A through G then start back at A again.
229. Someone could empty their spit valve on your shoe and you wouldn’t care.
230. Spit rags/swabbers don’t gross you out
231. You carry cork grease in your pocket.
232. You know what a shako is and insist on calling them that, threatening to kick anyone who dares to call them ‘hats’.
233. 9/2 time scares the b’jeezus out of you, while dying a slow painful death in a pit of snakes doesn’t.
234. Your philosophy is: "If you don’t have your mouthpiece then what the heck is that noise coming out of your mouth?"
235. You and your pals have memorized the entire repertoire for the year and can play your respective parts together...on kazoos.
236. You hear a song on the radio and thing "Hey, this’d make a good pep band song."
237. You don’t describe people by going "She’s got brown hair, dark eyes, kind of tall.." but go "She’s an alto sax."
238. Your conductor is your hero.
239. Pep band is the highlight of your week.
240. You go around humming the last song you practiced,even if it’s Bb major scale.
241. A random person could punch you in the face and you wouldn’t respond, but you’ll fight to the death over who in your section gets to play the solo.
242. Someone yells out "Hey Tuba boy!" and you respond.
243. Your biggest crush was/is your drum major.
244. You go to parades that you are not in and make sure lines are straight, horn angles are parallel, and everyone is in step.
245. You listen to the classical station and can name off songs that you remember playing in band.
246. You always start off on the left foot.
247. You find it complicated to get in step with your reflection.
248. You've seen "Mr. Holland's Opus" 26 times. Everybody in band fights like they're family.
249. When walking down the hall you are in step with your friends. If someone is not, they fall behind or do a little foot shuffle to get in step.
250. You can strip out of your uniform in less than a minute WITHOUT getting it on the floor in order to use the bathroom.
251. You know how to walk on mud without slipping.
252. You pick out instruments from the music in cartoons.
253. You’re still humming band music from three years ago.
254. You’ve never had to pay to get into a football/basketball game.
255. Your feet are together, your stomach is in, your shoulders are back, your head is up, and your eyes are "with pride." 24-7.
256. You've been witness to a fallen xylophone, bells, chimes, or marimba.
257. Your English teacher is discussing banned books and you think "band books?"
258. You sit at what is known by all as the "Band Hallway" for lunch.
259. You're feeling sick at school, but you don't go home until after band.
260. You've never ever sat in your class section at a pep rally because you're playing.
261. You still and always will find "Sax-a-ma-PHONE!" entertaining.
262. You find yourself drawing characters in uniforms with instruments.
263. Immediate respect for any drum major.
264. Someone asks you who your favorite band is and you say "High school or college? Flight 1 or Flight 2? DCI or what?"
265. You can measure 5 yards without a ruler- all you need is to count your steps while you're walking.
266. Normal people argue about the U of M vs. the Michigan State, you argue about brass vs. woodwinds.
267. Looking at pictures of new instruments turns you on.
268. You know the difference between a baritone and a euphonium.
269. Every research paper you've ever done has been on a composer or arts in the schools.
270. Your band director bans "Louie Louie" in order to play new music.
271. You're copying an assignment for another class and you write "Reed pgs150-267", and don't notice it's wrong.
272. You can tune a sax.
273. You don't take "double tonguing" as a dirty joke.
274. You sit around in class and try to think of new band nerd jokes.
275. A piccolo doesn't hurt your ears.
276. You can play four different instruments, and your mood decides which one you play.
277. Your idea of a recliner is a music posture chair.
278. You talk to your plume.
279. You wish you were at school on the weekends because you forgot to bring your instrument
280. home.
281. You compose music in all of your classes and during lunch
282. You find the coolest pair of shorts, but don't get them because your drill won't fit in the pockets.
283. You go to Chuckie Cheese, and swear that you have played the music in pep band.
284. You build a website just for your band
285. You've broken into the band room at least once
286. You spend free time cleaning up the band room for a free soda
287. When 3-4 hour bus trips seem like 5 minutes
288. You're comfy eating your meals sitting in a parking lot
289. You miss class to march in a parade
290. Your sock line fools people into thinking you are actually wearing socks
291. You roll step while you walk to class
292. You actually like marching band and would kill to do it all year long
293. The drummers make sense to you
294. You go to the stadium at midnight and practice your drill
295. You major in music and use your high school band director as a role model
296. You wonder what life would be like If you weren't in band
297. If you judge a school by the size of the band
298. If you judge a football team by the size of the band
299. If you find yourself rolling your feet even when you're not in marching practice
300. If you have that nasty bump/callous thing on your right thumb from playing your instrument
301. If you know who is improving the cadence on the quints
302. If you believe in seniority to get ahead of everyone else in the pizza line
303. If you think that the marching band should have a separate line at the concession stands at half-time during football games
304. If you judge the size of other bands by how many sousaphones they have or by how big their drum line is
305. If you mark time to songs at a dance
306. If you can play the B flat scale on a baritone, tuba, trombone, and mellaphone
307. If you know what a mellaphone is
308. If you think your non-band friends are weird when they don't sing the opener of your half-time show with you
309. If they sing it with you
310. If you enjoy spending your free-time and summer in the band room
311. If when you march backwards you expect to get hit with a weapon of the color guard
312. If you know all the info on the band phone list by heart
313. If you've ever participated in the 3 annual low brass push-up competition, and won with 234 push ups at band camp
314. If friends call the band room to find you instead of home
315. If your band director's on your buddy list
316. If you think another band's commands are wrong because they're different
317. If you've tried to make another band mess up by concentrating on them with bad thoughts
318. If a drummer has ever stolen your girlfriend
319. If you take pride in the work you do in loading the truck
320. If you get mad when a new band parent comes along and messes up your "system" of loading the truck
321. If you still don't know the Star Spangled Banner, but play it by ear on the field
322. If you and all the other band members cried at your last show for 3 hours
323. If you spend 12 hours at school 3 or more days a week
324. If you call a wooden metronome an "old fashioned Dr. Beat."
325. If they have to professionally clean the band room carpet more than once in order to make a noticeable difference
326. If you actually passed the Music Theory final
327. If the highlight of your entire year is a band trip
328. You can change on a co-ed bus and NEVER reveal anything
329. You arrive home at the same time the bars close
330. You learn how to layer your clothing without it budging the uniform
331. You graduate and try to take your uniform with you
332. You find ways to use your instrument in non-band classes
333. You can find the pocket in your uniform and not feel perverted when you remove money
334. You can carry 4 different food products at a time and eat them while standing up in the rain
335. Your watch is set to the Band Room clock.
336. You have run over a marching judge.
337. You go to Basketball games only for the fun of pep band music.
338. You have compiled this list.