so strange...

[opacity_down]

Everything is so strange lately. I don't quite know how to/if I can fix them, Everything is off-balance...in a huge, silent, inward uproar. I need to find my center again. I need to reclaim the confidence I used to have. I am so low on myself these days...I don't know why I feel so.....wrong. My self esteem is in the toilet...slowly climbing its

Comments

[tonerboner]

ditto. minus the jeni thing, i don't know her, and it's too late for what kept me somewhat happy. but if i could find my confidence again, i could be happy. if i can find myself, i can be happy again.

[opacity_down]

It is a universal truth I suppose. Jeni and I are ok, just stresses of living together, I guess. What you been up to these days fella?

[tonerboner]

mainly working, hanging out with your brother, and trying to get my mind off of the breakup and move on through non-alcoholic or drug related means. so mainly video games. lol. last time i saw you my voice was dead. that sucked, i hate losing my voice.

[opacity_down]

yeh, that sucks a lot. Lol. Hey, you'll find someone again, the old saying is true, tis better to have loved and lost rather than so never loved at all, but though it seems hard at the time, you alays get past it, and learn things, and grow from it, so hang in, you'll be ok!

[sweetnickels]

When I can't find myself I either drown myself in alchahol, or take a trip to disney world....when I really think about niether solution fixes the problem..but they're fun in the meantime!

[opacity_down]

hehe yeah, there are always short term solutions i suppose. :-)

[birdiebirdie]

It must be so tough to be in those crappy stages where you miss the glow. I've been there. I had a grilfriend who was very complex and always needed so much reassurance - who had never gotten it at home - so that hopefully she could see how winderful she was and why I loved her so much. Me? I got exhausted and bitter after putting so much care and warmth into her only to have her need more and I gave up after 6 years of on-off-on-off. It can be a heartache for you both. Jeni, I'm sure,doesn't want to dampen your love and you don't want to cramp your feelings either!

I don't know Jeni as much as I have a sense of you (as much as one can on LJ) but I know that you are optomistic and intelligent.

Make sure you keep your mind on that as you lend yourself to your partner! You need you to be you before you can help Jeni up out of her insecurities! She may be a tired swimmer, but if you drown, then neither of you get back to shore.

[opacity_down]

Well we're both sort of insecure, it goes both ways, but we have been talking and working things out. It is just day by day, it is hard because I've been having some self esteem issues, and Jeni has Borderline Personality Disorder, so she really can't help her moods sometimes, I've been trying to learn more about the disorder, so I can understand things better. I am an extremely patient person, and I won't give up on thigns that are important to me. We have been talking though and things seem to be looking up, we approach things realisticly and try to leave our damn lesbian drama out of it. :-)
thanks linderdoll,
moriah

[mynkus]

Moriah...

I'm really proud of you, I believe in you, you're a winner!

I've discovered that positive attitude+consistant effort+faith = WIN

I highly recommend it.

Take the wheel and drive, you're awesome, take care

[opacity_down]

:-) mynkus **love for myknus** muah!

[amidaeus]

I think that the real problem is that you never fucking hang out with me. I may be knocked up, but I am still quite humorous. Infact, I think you and Jeni could both use a little more spaghetti sauce (Prego)...And how?

[opacity_down]

hehe. I love you. I miss you. I got a new phone, again. I'll call your pregnant ass today. whore. :-)