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[open_eyes_85]

well it's offical, i'm getting shipped back to MI next week. X_o Jess has to finish up school and stuff I guess. So I have to go back....fucking back to that wonderful life in Michigan. I want to scream, but I can't. I can barely hold in the tears. It's not permanent. But I can't stand being away from her. And I don't know how long this school shit

Comments

"Can we pretend to leave & then we'll meet again when both our cars collide"

[disarmx]

If i didn't have to finish up this whole school thing ,i wouldn't
do it, but i just need to do this, sadly. I want to do something
with my crappy life,ya know. But it's going to hurt me just as
much being so far away from you Darrell, i know exactly how you're
feeling right now, because i'm scared to. Please be strong for me
Darrell, i'm trying my hardest to be strong for the both of us, i
know you are too. And you're right..it's not permanent , not at all.
I'm going to try my hardest to get the school thing done, quick &
fast.. i'm nothing great at all though..i know you'll be fine.
What worries me is that YOU will find something better,
because everything and anyone is so much better than me. I just feel
like i'm nothing to miss..but you..i'm scared you will find so much
better out there.. :( ..It's still kinda iffy about me moving in with
my grandma...my mom & dad are still thinking about it, but ugh, it would
be horrible living there.I'm NOT going to find someone better
because i don't want anyone else but you.Please don't

Re: "Can we pretend to leave & then we'll meet again when both our cars collide"

[open_eyes_85]

if you don't even move in with your grandma what is the point of me leaving? I'm not gonna make you not go to school. So I must be getting kicked out for other reasons. But Jess you are something wonderful and there is no one I can ever find better then you. EVER. You have nothing to worry about. But Jess, I was thinking *even though you probably won't* After you turn 18 I want you to come spend the rest of the summer with me in MI. God this sucks....buy lots of disposable cams and take pix for me. If you don't even move to your grandma's I don't see why I have to go. Like I said unless there's another reason for me being kicked out. But I'm still scared. TO DEATH, I'm not special. At all. I'm not gonna even ever be anything. I can't even afford college. I'm screwed......I love you,and I'm scared to death of losing you. You mean the world to me...and more. I've never been this happy in my entire crappy life. *i want to do something with my crappy life* you said? why's it still crappy?...but yea' i love you so much.

Re: "Can we pretend to leave & then we'll meet again when both our cars collide"

[disarmx]

I know ..i know it's crazy, but my parents just want me to be alone while i do this, because in their minds it's better that way..i don't know. it's dumb. Or if i do move into my grandma's house, it will only be until i can prove to my parents that i can do it..and that they can trust me again ,whatever the hell that means. blah. I'm not as great as you put me out Darrell, i know that ..i'm just auh, i don't know.

About going & spending the summer there..i'll think about it Darrell, i would absolutly adore doing that..i just need to figure out if i'd be able to, what's really stopping me is money, i have none at all :( ... but if i find some way...i will definetly try my hardest too...i will.

Me Buy disposable cameras and take pictures of myself? ahhhhhh you don't need gross pics of me heh.. :/

I know you're scared..i am to, but panda , listen to me, we CAN do this.. i know we can...I love you darrell, i love you so much..and i am always go ing to be yours, you have nothing , nothing at ALL to worry about

[pushthebutton]

So are you still gunna stop and see me on the way back?

[open_eyes_85]

i'd have to get two tickets, so if you have some means of getting me one sure. because i'm broke as hell. :(