Fugue Refugee: Voices

[openedlocket]

Comments

[ninedaysaqueen]

Oww... Creepy and dark. Just how I like my nightmare stories. Lovely!

[openedlocket]

Thank you! I wasn't sure if I went too far or not far enough with that part. I'm glad it was just creepy enough. :D

[xalter_egox]

I don't see why you're complaining about this one~ IT'S GREAT LIKE WOAH. I'm amazed, dear; truly, truly amazed at this.
You convey a great deal of emotions in this, and I could feel myself in the character's position--with that fear and suffocation and all.
Don't lose hope in your skill and ability, because you are so amazing at it. At the same time, I know you'll work hard to further improve what you have ;) Great job, dear, keep it up! :D

[openedlocket]

Thank you! *GREAT BIG HUG ATTACK* You have no idea how happy this comment made me. (I mean, maybe you did since we were talking at the time but yeah).

You know exactly what I need to hear and how to encourage me and it just makes me feel so much better. Expect an awesome present on June 12, even if I can't think of one right now and I'll be horribly procrastinating for the next 6 days.

[belluminabyssus]

I have to say that dreams are incredibly annoying and misleading, and that I (and most other readers, including people in the publishing business) always feel cheated when I find out it's not real. Where are the stakes? Why does anyone care about her dream? She's just going to wake up from it and everything will be fine. What was the point of it all? How does it satisfy the reader? I think those are all questions you'd need to consider about this story and any other story you write like this.

My and the industry's hatred for dream sequences aside, you did a very good job with building the tension -- she's running and running and the voices get louder -- it's classically good technique to build up the reader's emotion, so nice work there!

[openedlocket]

Thank you for the tip. It's nice to know what professionals would think of a dream scene. I can understand what you mean about reader satisfaction,and I'll keep it in mind.

I'm glad the scene brought up enough emotion though. I was mostly experimenting with this for the tension build up and I glad it worked out. :D

[openedlocket]

Thanks :) Hm, I guess you're right about the ending. Building up that tension and just taking away all the stakes probably wasn't the best way to end it. I'll keep that in mind.

But I'm glad I managed to make the dream seem completely separate from reality. I was experimenting with that idea and I'm glad I got it right.

[openedlocket]

Hey! :)
I understand what you mean, like how I should add my own certain take on it instead of being too generic. I'll also try establishing the 'dream-ness' of it from the beginning. Maybe it'll help with the anti-climactic feeling the reader gets from finding out it's a dream at the end of it.

Thanks for your edits and comments. I'll use them to improve this piece when I get the time :D

[openedlocket]

I read Neil Gaiman years ago, but I guess a rereading of Coraline is in order. If I remember right, there are a LOT of dream scenes in there...