the big bang theory [pilot]
Title: the big bang theory
Author: salted_taiyaki
Pairing(s): one-sided ! Onew x Taemin
Genre: Humor, general, bits of romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: a story about four friends and the new neighbor, and the lives they live that prove just why they were at the bottom of the high school food chain. featuring one-sided crushes, comic book wednesdays, thai food every thursday. au, parody of the big bang theory.
a/n: okay this idea really did just hit me in the middle of the night, RIGHT before i closed my eyes to sleep. i got out of bed, jotted down a few notes and then went to sleep with the dopiest smile on my face.
the characterizations (for those who actually watch bbt and are reading this) are tweaked just a bit so they fit the shinee members as well. i'm trying to make it parallel so it actually kinda works but...some "relationships" might not work out as they do on the show. so! yeah.
i don't think the first chapter will be up for a while, because i have other things to complete, and may is just way too messy for me, ha ha. anyway hope you guys enjoy.
chapter 0 ; pilot, or, the unresolved case of the cereal killer
"Jinki." Three knocks on a painted door resound in the hallway, adorned by tacky wallpaper and framed autographs and posters of supernovas, and an impatient sigh quickly follows. "Jinki." Three more. "Jinki."
"What?" said figure bellows from the other side of the door, before some rustling and crashing is heard. A frenzied young man, with his hair bushy and falling before his eyes, wipes at his lips furiously and yanks the door open to reveal a prim and proper raven, standing at attention with his clenched fist in the air. "What?"
"You realize," the raven starts, voice buzzing lowly, "that we have three-fourths of milk left, right?"
Jinki rubs his face harshly and almost enjoys the rough, sandpapery feel of his fingertips. Writing term papers furiously while on Red Bull does things to him. "Three-fourths, great. What about--"
"What about it?" Indignantly the man pushes back some of his hair to reveal knit brows. "This throws everything off! I told you to--"
"Kibum!" Jinki snaps before he can help himself, and the young man starts in his spot, eyes wide in disbelief. Jinki continues with a softer voice as something in the back of his mind reminds him that it's actually two-thirty in the morning, and that Mrs. Portland downstairs doesn't want to hear more of their bullshit, "Kibum, we can just buy some milk if there's not enough for the next few days. Just let me handle it tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," Kibum spits, "tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I'll have you know, you didn't even reorganize the cereal boxes in the morning, and they have to be aligned by--"
"--fiber content, I know, I know!" With waving hands, Jinki maneuvers Kibum down the hallway and into the kitchen, struggles a bit because Kibum is impudent and keeps his padded feet flat on the ground in refusal. "Let's just organize this now, then. Just--Move, Kibum!"
But Kibum digs his heels into the polished floor, turns around, one brow arched smoothly along his hair line. "Absolutely not. This is cutting into my bedtime, and if I don't wake up by five forty-five, my entire schedule is thrown off. Remember? Contract." He points to his desk placed a few feet from the front door, and Jinki grimaces. (How can anyone forget going through three and a half hours of reading fine print and listening to constant reminders of the specifications of each term, signing and initialing and flipping and initialing and signing? Right. Jinki can't forget that horrible cramp that came afterward.)
"Okay. All right, let's just go back to sleep. Go!" He ushers the pouting raven back to his room, quickly rejects the whining demand of "Jinki, tuck me--", and shuffles back to his bedroom where his lava lamp dimly lights the three textbooks he has open. Jinki grumbles a bit and plops down into his chair. He forgets the cup of water he had set next to his physics notebook and almost screams as ice pours down his thigh.
Muffled knocking comes from the room next door, and Jinki tenses. "Jinki--"
"What?" he shouts on the top of his lungs before Kibum could even drop the i.
"Keep quiet, you're being too loud."
Jinki lets his head fall and hit the wet mess of ink and crumpled paper.
When Jinki stumbles into the living room to see three faces, bright and shining (but not really) in the morning light, he simply blinks and turns to face the fridge. Orange juice is the protocol and he pours himself a cup, only to realize that he had grabbed the one with pulp in his sleepy stupor. Jinki mutters some words incoherently, about wet underwear and rats, only to be interrupted by a rather obnoxious munching of cereal and peaches.
"What was that?" Jinki slowly cranes his neck to stare at the one friend sprawled out on the couch, a smile playfully tugging at his lips as he flips back his blond hair. "Wet underwear? The hell were you doing last night?"
Jinki sighs. "I was studying for the physics exam, Jonghyun. Unlike you and your deadbeat pals, we mechanical physicists have work to do." Jonghyun snorts at the remark and props himself up against the arm of the couch.
"Deadbeat my ass, I contribute more to society than you ever will." And then suddenly Kibum pipes up from his corner of the couch,
"You don't even have a PhD. You don't count, Jonghyun."
Jonghyun tenses a bit, then throws some sharp glares at the lone corn flake floating about in a puddle of milk.
"Hey, Minho," Jinki calls out, and a lanky brunet perks up from his silence, his eyes still trained on the flashing television screen before them. "When's that next soccer game, anyway?"
"Jinki, you still didn't organize the cereal."
"Well, we're supposed to play next Saturday."
"Saturday? Maybe we can go."
"Jinki."
"The weather looks pretty bad, though. The readings say so."
"It's fine, a little rain can't hurt. Besides--"
"Jinki!" Minho jumps in his seat and his eyes trail to Kibum, who stands in an awkward stance, legs slightly apart and hands clenched at his sides. "I am talking to you." Jinki only sighs in acknowledgment, waves his hand a bit to encourage the silent raven to continue. Then Kibum opens his mouth to say,
"There's someone moving into Mr. Young's apartment."
The three stare at Kibum, their eyes brimming in sheer anticipation and curiosity, and the boy simply steps aside from the door, his keys dangling loosely by his thumb. "Well, by all means--"
"Me first!" Jonghyun scrambles onto his hands and nearly collides head first into the door, but his quick fingers tug anxiously at the doorknob to reveal several cardboard boxes and the backside of a relatively small, lithe figure, bent at the waist to hoist some boxes up on a cart. The blond gulps, loudly.
Minho silently crouches over and places his head on Jonghyun's shoulder (he has to bend a bit, too, because Jonghyun's a few inches shorter), eyes tracing a similar pattern along the small shoulders and waist. Sighing, Jinki pushes his way past the two and approaches the figure with the cup of orange juice (concentrated, no pulp) still in his hands. He reaches over and daringly taps the neighbor on the shoulder, the words of "Hi, I'm Jinki, welcome; ignore the freaks at the door" formulating on the tip of his tongue.
And then the figure straightens their back and turns around slowly, wide, curious eyes piercing holes straight through Jinki's, effectively popping the welcoming balloons of words in his mouth and leaving stale oxygen in their place. All Jinki's thinking about is just how the person--boy, probably not even legal--is absolutely beautiful with the way his auburn hair curls to the shape of his face, the way his eyes just have this natural shine that's blinding even in the lit hall, the way those eyes and those locks of hair seem to shrink back before he knows it, before he can take it all in, before he's satisfied, and--
"Jinki!" Jonghyun harshly whispers from the door, and the brunet blinks once, twice, before his eyes zip down to the orange mess down at his feet.
"Fuck." Minho smacks himself in the face and Kibum retreats back to the kitchen, the words "cereal" and "out of order" filling his mind in several variations.
-
i figured that even though it's a pilot, it should be relatively short (also i'm short on time haha). plus, i managed to fit all of the characters in.
to the bbt fans! think you can match the characters up? of course there really hasn't been much of a chance for any of them to show their personality, but...yeah.
anyway hope you guys enjoyed. feedback is always welcome ♥ thanks for reading!
Author: salted_taiyaki
Pairing(s): one-sided ! Onew x Taemin
Genre: Humor, general, bits of romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: a story about four friends and the new neighbor, and the lives they live that prove just why they were at the bottom of the high school food chain. featuring one-sided crushes, comic book wednesdays, thai food every thursday. au, parody of the big bang theory.
a/n: okay this idea really did just hit me in the middle of the night, RIGHT before i closed my eyes to sleep. i got out of bed, jotted down a few notes and then went to sleep with the dopiest smile on my face.
the characterizations (for those who actually watch bbt and are reading this) are tweaked just a bit so they fit the shinee members as well. i'm trying to make it parallel so it actually kinda works but...some "relationships" might not work out as they do on the show. so! yeah.
i don't think the first chapter will be up for a while, because i have other things to complete, and may is just way too messy for me, ha ha. anyway hope you guys enjoy.
chapter 0 ; pilot, or, the unresolved case of the cereal killer
"Jinki." Three knocks on a painted door resound in the hallway, adorned by tacky wallpaper and framed autographs and posters of supernovas, and an impatient sigh quickly follows. "Jinki." Three more. "Jinki."
"What?" said figure bellows from the other side of the door, before some rustling and crashing is heard. A frenzied young man, with his hair bushy and falling before his eyes, wipes at his lips furiously and yanks the door open to reveal a prim and proper raven, standing at attention with his clenched fist in the air. "What?"
"You realize," the raven starts, voice buzzing lowly, "that we have three-fourths of milk left, right?"
Jinki rubs his face harshly and almost enjoys the rough, sandpapery feel of his fingertips. Writing term papers furiously while on Red Bull does things to him. "Three-fourths, great. What about--"
"What about it?" Indignantly the man pushes back some of his hair to reveal knit brows. "This throws everything off! I told you to--"
"Kibum!" Jinki snaps before he can help himself, and the young man starts in his spot, eyes wide in disbelief. Jinki continues with a softer voice as something in the back of his mind reminds him that it's actually two-thirty in the morning, and that Mrs. Portland downstairs doesn't want to hear more of their bullshit, "Kibum, we can just buy some milk if there's not enough for the next few days. Just let me handle it tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," Kibum spits, "tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I'll have you know, you didn't even reorganize the cereal boxes in the morning, and they have to be aligned by--"
"--fiber content, I know, I know!" With waving hands, Jinki maneuvers Kibum down the hallway and into the kitchen, struggles a bit because Kibum is impudent and keeps his padded feet flat on the ground in refusal. "Let's just organize this now, then. Just--Move, Kibum!"
But Kibum digs his heels into the polished floor, turns around, one brow arched smoothly along his hair line. "Absolutely not. This is cutting into my bedtime, and if I don't wake up by five forty-five, my entire schedule is thrown off. Remember? Contract." He points to his desk placed a few feet from the front door, and Jinki grimaces. (How can anyone forget going through three and a half hours of reading fine print and listening to constant reminders of the specifications of each term, signing and initialing and flipping and initialing and signing? Right. Jinki can't forget that horrible cramp that came afterward.)
"Okay. All right, let's just go back to sleep. Go!" He ushers the pouting raven back to his room, quickly rejects the whining demand of "Jinki, tuck me--", and shuffles back to his bedroom where his lava lamp dimly lights the three textbooks he has open. Jinki grumbles a bit and plops down into his chair. He forgets the cup of water he had set next to his physics notebook and almost screams as ice pours down his thigh.
Muffled knocking comes from the room next door, and Jinki tenses. "Jinki--"
"What?" he shouts on the top of his lungs before Kibum could even drop the i.
"Keep quiet, you're being too loud."
Jinki lets his head fall and hit the wet mess of ink and crumpled paper.
When Jinki stumbles into the living room to see three faces, bright and shining (but not really) in the morning light, he simply blinks and turns to face the fridge. Orange juice is the protocol and he pours himself a cup, only to realize that he had grabbed the one with pulp in his sleepy stupor. Jinki mutters some words incoherently, about wet underwear and rats, only to be interrupted by a rather obnoxious munching of cereal and peaches.
"What was that?" Jinki slowly cranes his neck to stare at the one friend sprawled out on the couch, a smile playfully tugging at his lips as he flips back his blond hair. "Wet underwear? The hell were you doing last night?"
Jinki sighs. "I was studying for the physics exam, Jonghyun. Unlike you and your deadbeat pals, we mechanical physicists have work to do." Jonghyun snorts at the remark and props himself up against the arm of the couch.
"Deadbeat my ass, I contribute more to society than you ever will." And then suddenly Kibum pipes up from his corner of the couch,
"You don't even have a PhD. You don't count, Jonghyun."
Jonghyun tenses a bit, then throws some sharp glares at the lone corn flake floating about in a puddle of milk.
"Hey, Minho," Jinki calls out, and a lanky brunet perks up from his silence, his eyes still trained on the flashing television screen before them. "When's that next soccer game, anyway?"
"Jinki, you still didn't organize the cereal."
"Well, we're supposed to play next Saturday."
"Saturday? Maybe we can go."
"Jinki."
"The weather looks pretty bad, though. The readings say so."
"It's fine, a little rain can't hurt. Besides--"
"Jinki!" Minho jumps in his seat and his eyes trail to Kibum, who stands in an awkward stance, legs slightly apart and hands clenched at his sides. "I am talking to you." Jinki only sighs in acknowledgment, waves his hand a bit to encourage the silent raven to continue. Then Kibum opens his mouth to say,
"There's someone moving into Mr. Young's apartment."
The three stare at Kibum, their eyes brimming in sheer anticipation and curiosity, and the boy simply steps aside from the door, his keys dangling loosely by his thumb. "Well, by all means--"
"Me first!" Jonghyun scrambles onto his hands and nearly collides head first into the door, but his quick fingers tug anxiously at the doorknob to reveal several cardboard boxes and the backside of a relatively small, lithe figure, bent at the waist to hoist some boxes up on a cart. The blond gulps, loudly.
Minho silently crouches over and places his head on Jonghyun's shoulder (he has to bend a bit, too, because Jonghyun's a few inches shorter), eyes tracing a similar pattern along the small shoulders and waist. Sighing, Jinki pushes his way past the two and approaches the figure with the cup of orange juice (concentrated, no pulp) still in his hands. He reaches over and daringly taps the neighbor on the shoulder, the words of "Hi, I'm Jinki, welcome; ignore the freaks at the door" formulating on the tip of his tongue.
And then the figure straightens their back and turns around slowly, wide, curious eyes piercing holes straight through Jinki's, effectively popping the welcoming balloons of words in his mouth and leaving stale oxygen in their place. All Jinki's thinking about is just how the person--boy, probably not even legal--is absolutely beautiful with the way his auburn hair curls to the shape of his face, the way his eyes just have this natural shine that's blinding even in the lit hall, the way those eyes and those locks of hair seem to shrink back before he knows it, before he can take it all in, before he's satisfied, and--
"Jinki!" Jonghyun harshly whispers from the door, and the brunet blinks once, twice, before his eyes zip down to the orange mess down at his feet.
"Fuck." Minho smacks himself in the face and Kibum retreats back to the kitchen, the words "cereal" and "out of order" filling his mind in several variations.
-
i figured that even though it's a pilot, it should be relatively short (also i'm short on time haha). plus, i managed to fit all of the characters in.
to the bbt fans! think you can match the characters up? of course there really hasn't been much of a chance for any of them to show their personality, but...yeah.
anyway hope you guys enjoyed. feedback is always welcome ♥ thanks for reading!