jeogi
in
openpockets
(no subject)
and forever hold your peace
sehun x luhan , dear lord , 1270w
sehun is not good with words.
a/n: to get me through the sudden sehan withdrawal that i did not know i was in. with angst. right, i'm smart.
when sehun meets luhan, he is completely, utterly overwhelmed.
"hello," luhan says, and sehun wishes it were directed towards him only. but the round brown eyes pass his with a quick blink, and something in sehun wants, wants desperately.
he wants him.
"you like nell, too?" luhan looks up at him, but he's upside down so it takes a while for sehun to get his eyes and nose in the right places. ah, perfect. he nods, and luhan grins. they're in the kitchen, luhan sprawled across a chair and sehun against the fridge (because it's the only cool spot in the corner; he'd fought jongin for fifteen minutes with it). not the most ideal place for a first kiss-oh, his mind's doing that jumping to conclusions thing again-but sehun will have to make do with it. leaning forward he watches as luhan scrolls through the library of his ipod. "wanna listen?"
the offered left earbud suddenly seems to be the most wondrous gift sehun has ever received. he takes it, squats down besides luhan, and listens. and it's like he can almost hear luhan's quiet heartbeat.
luhan doesn't take too long when showering, has a shared deep hatred for steamed broccoli, and writes the most interesting stories from the perspective of, well, a five year old. he blushes every time he shows sehun his writing. "i don't plan on being an author or anything," he tries to explain, "i just think it's fun."
sehun would like to say it's fun too, but the things sehun writes about aren't like the stories of a pink alligator who befriends a small bird. and he never actually writes them out, but he forgets to include that when he tells luhan that he doesn't want to share, and then luhan wears a hurt look and sehun feels so bad.
but he doesn't say anything, and they start to talk about how interesting chinchillas are and the rate at which chanyeol can consume bananas at breakfast, so sehun assumes it's all right.
luhan is unexpectedly eager to be roommates. zi tao, not as much. he's struggling to get through a book on korean idioms as luhan explains to sehun the delicacies of his hometown. sehun could not, he decides with a brief glance at the frustrated, simmering look on the silent boy's face, care any less.
"my mother would always yell at me for eating the pancakes without asking." sehun feels himself transporting back in time with the soft words that reflect off the scattered particles of light from zi tao's lamp. under it and the peaceful smile, luhan looks seven years younger. "could you tell? i was sort of chubby."
sehun smiles at the thought. truth be told, luhan could be anything and he would still love him.
and then sehun quickly looks up from the small threads of his pillow, not at luhan, nor ever through. at the suddenly blinding blackness of the walls. oh.
there must be something he should say at this point. luhan is leaning against him from the window seat, and they are listening to an acoustic playlist luhan had made the other night, and everyone else is sleeping, and this is the perfect chance, sehun, do it
sehun closes his eyes. he suddenly doesn't have the words (again). he tries to fall asleep, and he feels luhan do the same.
"all right," baekhyun stomps out of the bathroom with a pair of undeniably bright pink underwear clenched tightly in his hand. jongdae and joonmyun gape, jongin can't help himself. "who did this?"
luhan turns a similarly undeniably bright pink and begins to stutter, "huh? well, we were-"
sehun throws a pillow in his face, and baekhyun quickly diverts his attention to jongin, who's doubled over in his chair. "that's it, jongin, i am going to hurt you!"
luhan still feels guilty as they're going to sleep, but they laugh under the covers anyway. this is why they should never do laundry together.
minseok makes some comment in chinese and yixing laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world. wu fan giggles despite himself, and zi tao almost spits out his water. luhan does not look pleased.
he says, "please stop," or something like that and leaves sehun's side from the worn down couch they've been sitting in for the past two and a half hours.
it's when kyungsoo of all people smiles and says, "aww," that sehun realizes something is completely, utterly wrong.
luhan does not say good morning. luhan does not sit to talk about rocks. luhan does not laugh at his jokes. luhan does not even look at him.
luhan is, for the first time, not with him.
"hello," chanyeol says. sehun opens his eyes and, oh, has it been thirty minutes already? thoughts of rice and burning kitchens cross his mind, but they're cut off by the heavy weight of chanyeol sitting across his chest. "earth to sehun on exo planet?"
sehun groans. chanyeol knows how much he hates the concept. "if you don't get up, i'm going to keep bothering you." sehun replies with a shove against his chest. "baekhyun and i are going to go practice. get breakfast ready." if he weren't half asleep sehun could have sworn that chanyeol was smirking mischievously again (but, when isn't he?), but the boy gets up and leaves too quickly for sehun to even make a remark.
"oh." sehun wills himself to open his eyes. luhan is three feet too far from the couch. "good morning."
should he feign sleep again? luhan had always complained that sehun would fall asleep on him when they talk late at night in bed. it would be easy, he's done it before. he would make his eyes go unfocused, and he'd promptly roll over onto his other side and snore for a few seconds, to cover the footsteps of luhan walking out of his heart again. painfully easy.
sehun continues to stare up at luhan. he still has some hairspray left from the photoshoot yesterday, preserving his untamable bedhead. "say something," luhan murmurs, and goes into the kitchen to turn off the fucking annoying beeping of the rice cooker that sehun just notices as sound suddenly rushes back into sehun's ears.
right, now. sehun runs after luhan with all his might.
"i like you. everything about you. i always have, since the first day i met you. you are always so beautiful and always smiling, and you are always happy and you are so unbelievably nice to everyone, not just me, that it makes me so angry at times. you have the nicest voice and i love when you wake me up in the morning and when you laugh. i've always wanted to hug you and kiss you and do more than that with you if you'd let me, because i like you that much. do you understand what i've been trying to say all this time? i am so horribly, utterly in love with you."
luhan laughs even though he's crying. that is one of the things he did not want to do to him. "i am too."
sehun is glad their first kiss is on luhan's bed, because that means he can take off luhan's sweater without anyone else walking in.
"call me," luhan says (more like orders, and sehun smiles dopily despite himself). "every night. from now until we get together again, all right?"
"how cute," baekhyun gushes. wu fan kindly kicks him in the shin.
luhan tightens his grip around sehun's hand. "all right?"
sehun smiles. "i will." and it means just as much as the three words he should have said at the start.
yes you have my permission to stop me. please, before i get out of hand lol.
and seriously one day i will write in a different verse or something i am sick of these fragmented style already haha i am sorry
sehun x luhan , dear lord , 1270w
sehun is not good with words.
a/n: to get me through the sudden sehan withdrawal that i did not know i was in. with angst. right, i'm smart.
when sehun meets luhan, he is completely, utterly overwhelmed.
"hello," luhan says, and sehun wishes it were directed towards him only. but the round brown eyes pass his with a quick blink, and something in sehun wants, wants desperately.
he wants him.
"you like nell, too?" luhan looks up at him, but he's upside down so it takes a while for sehun to get his eyes and nose in the right places. ah, perfect. he nods, and luhan grins. they're in the kitchen, luhan sprawled across a chair and sehun against the fridge (because it's the only cool spot in the corner; he'd fought jongin for fifteen minutes with it). not the most ideal place for a first kiss-oh, his mind's doing that jumping to conclusions thing again-but sehun will have to make do with it. leaning forward he watches as luhan scrolls through the library of his ipod. "wanna listen?"
the offered left earbud suddenly seems to be the most wondrous gift sehun has ever received. he takes it, squats down besides luhan, and listens. and it's like he can almost hear luhan's quiet heartbeat.
luhan doesn't take too long when showering, has a shared deep hatred for steamed broccoli, and writes the most interesting stories from the perspective of, well, a five year old. he blushes every time he shows sehun his writing. "i don't plan on being an author or anything," he tries to explain, "i just think it's fun."
sehun would like to say it's fun too, but the things sehun writes about aren't like the stories of a pink alligator who befriends a small bird. and he never actually writes them out, but he forgets to include that when he tells luhan that he doesn't want to share, and then luhan wears a hurt look and sehun feels so bad.
but he doesn't say anything, and they start to talk about how interesting chinchillas are and the rate at which chanyeol can consume bananas at breakfast, so sehun assumes it's all right.
luhan is unexpectedly eager to be roommates. zi tao, not as much. he's struggling to get through a book on korean idioms as luhan explains to sehun the delicacies of his hometown. sehun could not, he decides with a brief glance at the frustrated, simmering look on the silent boy's face, care any less.
"my mother would always yell at me for eating the pancakes without asking." sehun feels himself transporting back in time with the soft words that reflect off the scattered particles of light from zi tao's lamp. under it and the peaceful smile, luhan looks seven years younger. "could you tell? i was sort of chubby."
sehun smiles at the thought. truth be told, luhan could be anything and he would still love him.
and then sehun quickly looks up from the small threads of his pillow, not at luhan, nor ever through. at the suddenly blinding blackness of the walls. oh.
there must be something he should say at this point. luhan is leaning against him from the window seat, and they are listening to an acoustic playlist luhan had made the other night, and everyone else is sleeping, and this is the perfect chance, sehun, do it
sehun closes his eyes. he suddenly doesn't have the words (again). he tries to fall asleep, and he feels luhan do the same.
"all right," baekhyun stomps out of the bathroom with a pair of undeniably bright pink underwear clenched tightly in his hand. jongdae and joonmyun gape, jongin can't help himself. "who did this?"
luhan turns a similarly undeniably bright pink and begins to stutter, "huh? well, we were-"
sehun throws a pillow in his face, and baekhyun quickly diverts his attention to jongin, who's doubled over in his chair. "that's it, jongin, i am going to hurt you!"
luhan still feels guilty as they're going to sleep, but they laugh under the covers anyway. this is why they should never do laundry together.
minseok makes some comment in chinese and yixing laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world. wu fan giggles despite himself, and zi tao almost spits out his water. luhan does not look pleased.
he says, "please stop," or something like that and leaves sehun's side from the worn down couch they've been sitting in for the past two and a half hours.
it's when kyungsoo of all people smiles and says, "aww," that sehun realizes something is completely, utterly wrong.
luhan does not say good morning. luhan does not sit to talk about rocks. luhan does not laugh at his jokes. luhan does not even look at him.
luhan is, for the first time, not with him.
"hello," chanyeol says. sehun opens his eyes and, oh, has it been thirty minutes already? thoughts of rice and burning kitchens cross his mind, but they're cut off by the heavy weight of chanyeol sitting across his chest. "earth to sehun on exo planet?"
sehun groans. chanyeol knows how much he hates the concept. "if you don't get up, i'm going to keep bothering you." sehun replies with a shove against his chest. "baekhyun and i are going to go practice. get breakfast ready." if he weren't half asleep sehun could have sworn that chanyeol was smirking mischievously again (but, when isn't he?), but the boy gets up and leaves too quickly for sehun to even make a remark.
"oh." sehun wills himself to open his eyes. luhan is three feet too far from the couch. "good morning."
should he feign sleep again? luhan had always complained that sehun would fall asleep on him when they talk late at night in bed. it would be easy, he's done it before. he would make his eyes go unfocused, and he'd promptly roll over onto his other side and snore for a few seconds, to cover the footsteps of luhan walking out of his heart again. painfully easy.
sehun continues to stare up at luhan. he still has some hairspray left from the photoshoot yesterday, preserving his untamable bedhead. "say something," luhan murmurs, and goes into the kitchen to turn off the fucking annoying beeping of the rice cooker that sehun just notices as sound suddenly rushes back into sehun's ears.
right, now. sehun runs after luhan with all his might.
"i like you. everything about you. i always have, since the first day i met you. you are always so beautiful and always smiling, and you are always happy and you are so unbelievably nice to everyone, not just me, that it makes me so angry at times. you have the nicest voice and i love when you wake me up in the morning and when you laugh. i've always wanted to hug you and kiss you and do more than that with you if you'd let me, because i like you that much. do you understand what i've been trying to say all this time? i am so horribly, utterly in love with you."
luhan laughs even though he's crying. that is one of the things he did not want to do to him. "i am too."
sehun is glad their first kiss is on luhan's bed, because that means he can take off luhan's sweater without anyone else walking in.
"call me," luhan says (more like orders, and sehun smiles dopily despite himself). "every night. from now until we get together again, all right?"
"how cute," baekhyun gushes. wu fan kindly kicks him in the shin.
luhan tightens his grip around sehun's hand. "all right?"
sehun smiles. "i will." and it means just as much as the three words he should have said at the start.
yes you have my permission to stop me. please, before i get out of hand lol.
and seriously one day i will write in a different verse or something i am sick of these fragmented style already haha i am sorry