Pen and paper journal 7/29/06
A party. There was me. There were men. there was beer. What am I looking for when I sleep with someone? Why do I sleep with people I don’t think care about me?
Victor likes me because I’m willing to have no-strings secretive sex with him. He will sleep with most girls. He slept with Sherry and I in the same night. He doesn’t even talk to me much since I’ve become a sure thing.
He took me down to the barn and to a truck parked outside in the field. He undid the back-hatch and had me sit on it. The bed of the truck was filled with trash. He went down on me and fucked me there. I supported my weight leaning back on my hands and then arms on the hatch and eventually in the bed a little almost in with the trash. He took me around to the truck cab and did me in there. Went down on me some more, I went down on him, kneeling, both at the hatch and outside the cab. He had me turn over and pounded into me from behind. He said “Are you going to come on my cock?” But I wasn’t. I moaned a lot though, and it felt good. He popped out some, and then told me to put my legs together. He finished and I sucked him off more. Then we went to the hatch to get our clothes. He smacked my ass a little very lightly, and I told him he had the “green light on that.” He asked “What, Baby?” and I said it again. He laughed and said “You like that?” and I said yes. He said something about that that was hot and patted my ass some more (Not nearly hard enough.). We kissed more and finally got dressed. He peed. We walked a little. He took one of my cigarettes. He said we’d come down later. He said he’d do more of that next time (the spanking). He kept stopping me and kissing me. He pulled my head back by the hair some and kissed me.
I went and laid down for a nap. I was tired and drunk. Someone knocked on the window when I turned the light on to find the bed. I opened the curtain and it was Hanner. He showed me his nipple and I waved and closed the curtain. I laid down. He came into the house and back into the bedroom I was in. I was laying with my eyes closed. He asked if I was okay and I said yes-that I was just tired. He laid down with me. I kept my eyes closed. He asked if I wanted him to leave. I said I didn’t know or didn’t care-I was just tired.
Sherry knocked-He’d locked the door. He let her in and she came in and asked if I wanted her to leave. I said no. Hanner said she should stay and watch. She kept asking if I was wanting to be with him. I kept saying I was tired and I didn’t know. She eventually left. Hanner laid next to me. He touched my breast and asked if it was okay. I said yes. He put his hand down my pants with my belt still buckled. He said “That’s a hollow box you’ve got there.” I guess meaning my shaved vagina. His hand was hurting my pelvic bone because of my belt. He got me to take my pants off and went down on me. He soon was putting fingers in me, 2. I said to put another in. He said “You want more?” I said yeah. I was moaning and whatnot. I think he was actually activating my G-spot a little. He sucked on his fingers and gave them to me to suck on. He said stuff like “They’re all for you.” He got 4 fingers in. It was good. I like being fingered a lot. My eyes were closed a lot. When I’d open them he had an intense look on his face-like anger, but not anger. I sucked him. He was larger than Victor and got VERY hard. He asked if I had something for him to wear if he did me. I said no. He said he could offer to pull out-but I said no-I wouldn’t without a condom. He said “If you lay down there I’ll fuck your face.” I asked how I was supposed to lie. He just said to lay comfortable. So I lay down and he fucked my face. I’m wondering how much teeth I use on accident. He seemed to like it. I eventually sucked him off more-deepthroating and sticking my tongue in his slit. He kept saying “Oh my god” and suck. He said he was getting ready to cum, was I ready to take it in my mouth? I muffled yeah around his cock. I tasted what I guess was pre-cum, but there was never a bunch of cum…so, I don’t know if he really came in my mouth.
He left and I tried to take a nap, but soon Scott ended up showing up and came back to see me, so I got up. Victor was saying we should go again-that he’d gotten some more condoms. I said yeah, but to let me visit with Scott a bit. Actually, right after I came out of the bedroom Sherry grabbed me and we went to get her beer from down by the barn. We passed Victor, Hanner, and Andy on the way down.
She told me she slept with Victor just then-and I said I had earlier. We laughed. We both said he was sub par (gentler than he seems). We went back up. Victor was talking to be against Jen’s car. He leaned into me, and kissed me-my head resting back against the car, his full body pressed against mine.
Before he left we went down to the van by the barn and had sex again. He was pretty much done, but kept going cause I wasn’t.
I think I’m over Victor-but I’ll probably sleep with him again one or two times.
Victor likes me because I’m willing to have no-strings secretive sex with him. He will sleep with most girls. He slept with Sherry and I in the same night. He doesn’t even talk to me much since I’ve become a sure thing.
He took me down to the barn and to a truck parked outside in the field. He undid the back-hatch and had me sit on it. The bed of the truck was filled with trash. He went down on me and fucked me there. I supported my weight leaning back on my hands and then arms on the hatch and eventually in the bed a little almost in with the trash. He took me around to the truck cab and did me in there. Went down on me some more, I went down on him, kneeling, both at the hatch and outside the cab. He had me turn over and pounded into me from behind. He said “Are you going to come on my cock?” But I wasn’t. I moaned a lot though, and it felt good. He popped out some, and then told me to put my legs together. He finished and I sucked him off more. Then we went to the hatch to get our clothes. He smacked my ass a little very lightly, and I told him he had the “green light on that.” He asked “What, Baby?” and I said it again. He laughed and said “You like that?” and I said yes. He said something about that that was hot and patted my ass some more (Not nearly hard enough.). We kissed more and finally got dressed. He peed. We walked a little. He took one of my cigarettes. He said we’d come down later. He said he’d do more of that next time (the spanking). He kept stopping me and kissing me. He pulled my head back by the hair some and kissed me.
I went and laid down for a nap. I was tired and drunk. Someone knocked on the window when I turned the light on to find the bed. I opened the curtain and it was Hanner. He showed me his nipple and I waved and closed the curtain. I laid down. He came into the house and back into the bedroom I was in. I was laying with my eyes closed. He asked if I was okay and I said yes-that I was just tired. He laid down with me. I kept my eyes closed. He asked if I wanted him to leave. I said I didn’t know or didn’t care-I was just tired.
Sherry knocked-He’d locked the door. He let her in and she came in and asked if I wanted her to leave. I said no. Hanner said she should stay and watch. She kept asking if I was wanting to be with him. I kept saying I was tired and I didn’t know. She eventually left. Hanner laid next to me. He touched my breast and asked if it was okay. I said yes. He put his hand down my pants with my belt still buckled. He said “That’s a hollow box you’ve got there.” I guess meaning my shaved vagina. His hand was hurting my pelvic bone because of my belt. He got me to take my pants off and went down on me. He soon was putting fingers in me, 2. I said to put another in. He said “You want more?” I said yeah. I was moaning and whatnot. I think he was actually activating my G-spot a little. He sucked on his fingers and gave them to me to suck on. He said stuff like “They’re all for you.” He got 4 fingers in. It was good. I like being fingered a lot. My eyes were closed a lot. When I’d open them he had an intense look on his face-like anger, but not anger. I sucked him. He was larger than Victor and got VERY hard. He asked if I had something for him to wear if he did me. I said no. He said he could offer to pull out-but I said no-I wouldn’t without a condom. He said “If you lay down there I’ll fuck your face.” I asked how I was supposed to lie. He just said to lay comfortable. So I lay down and he fucked my face. I’m wondering how much teeth I use on accident. He seemed to like it. I eventually sucked him off more-deepthroating and sticking my tongue in his slit. He kept saying “Oh my god” and suck. He said he was getting ready to cum, was I ready to take it in my mouth? I muffled yeah around his cock. I tasted what I guess was pre-cum, but there was never a bunch of cum…so, I don’t know if he really came in my mouth.
He left and I tried to take a nap, but soon Scott ended up showing up and came back to see me, so I got up. Victor was saying we should go again-that he’d gotten some more condoms. I said yeah, but to let me visit with Scott a bit. Actually, right after I came out of the bedroom Sherry grabbed me and we went to get her beer from down by the barn. We passed Victor, Hanner, and Andy on the way down.
She told me she slept with Victor just then-and I said I had earlier. We laughed. We both said he was sub par (gentler than he seems). We went back up. Victor was talking to be against Jen’s car. He leaned into me, and kissed me-my head resting back against the car, his full body pressed against mine.
Before he left we went down to the van by the barn and had sex again. He was pretty much done, but kept going cause I wasn’t.
I think I’m over Victor-but I’ll probably sleep with him again one or two times.