gray_sky_morning
anonymous
September 6 2004, 10:40:11 UTC
i don't think i've ever done this on livejournal before... i really wish i didn't have to, but there's no other way i can talk to you.... we haven't talked in about a week and a half, and i've tried calling you, but no one ever picked up..... i know you're busy with school and everything, which is why i said that you could call me whenever you had time..... i don't know what happened two weeks ago, but that monday was the last time you called, and last saturday was the last time we spoke....... i started calling, figuring that you wanted me to, but no one picked up...... and i'm not asking for an explanation..... i'm just saying that i can't deal with it anymore..... before, i could always count on you to be there to talk to after a day of school, and it made me want to work even harder to be a better man..... but now.... my inspiration stopped, and now i have to rely on myself again..... i can't be thinking and worrying about you all day when i have so much schoolwork to do...... i'd rather know that i'm alone than to feel alone
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
anonymous
September 6 2004, 22:02:28 UTC
i for some reason feel like i didnt vent my anger enough over the phone (which is what you wanted), so since i couldnt yell at you then i will do so now, through a series of relationship pointers....... remember that i am doing this as a tentative friend, and that i have every right to do so as part of the forgiving process
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Re: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
anonymous
September 7 2004, 05:00:34 UTC
and above everything else, be fucking lucky that he cared enough to pick up the phone after that stunt you pulled, and picking it up on the first night you called him, instead of treating you the same way..... feel fucking lucky that despite your selfishness that he could actually ~stand to be on the phone with you for more than 5 minutes~ and ESPECIALLY despite saying "I've never really had feelings" he actually cared enough for you behind the livid anger to actually try and salvage the relationship, because if that's the case the only reason you called would have been so you wouldn't feel guilty..... and if that's the case, that's a level of uber selfishness that i don't want in my life........ as a friend or partner..... and honestly whitney, if that is how you really feel, then let me know ASAP
Re: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
anonymous
September 7 2004, 08:38:05 UTC
ok just one more thing...... what you called me "bargaining" with you last night was me making a sacrifice to be with you...... in other words, i was trying to be a good boy till the very end....... i hope you understand that Whitney, and i hope that you didn't expect any less from me...... sorry for trying to understand your needs and making things "complicated
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