A close loss like that is the hardest thing in the universe. Kerry is your friend, and you want to make her feel better, but you need to accept that there is actually nothing you can do make her feel better. What you can do, though, is tell her that she has all of your sympathies, and that your thoughts are with her during this sad time when she is experiencing loss. Ask her if there's anything you can do, instead of assuming what her needs are. Tell her that you will listen and be there if she needs to cry or tell stories, but don't try to tell her that you understand how she feels, and don't try to relate her experience to your own.
If the loss was recent, she's probably not looking to get over her sadness right now. She probably doesn't want to feel better. Maybe she just wants to feel sad for a while, maybe that's how she gets over things. She should get better with time, but don't try to make things better. Instead, make sure you're there for her, and ask her what she needs. Be there to listen if she needs an emotional outlet.
No problem! One of the things that I've come to learn about others and also myself is that science-y and engineering people like to come up with solutions to what we perceive are peoples' problems
( ... )
I think I can probably back that up with my own observations of other people and also myself. I feel like I may even have made that comment about something at some point. (Oh dear.) But being a better listener is something I will need to work on--I don't think I'm very good at it right now.
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If the loss was recent, she's probably not looking to get over her sadness right now. She probably doesn't want to feel better. Maybe she just wants to feel sad for a while, maybe that's how she gets over things. She should get better with time, but don't try to make things better. Instead, make sure you're there for her, and ask her what she needs. Be there to listen if she needs an emotional outlet.
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Thanks! <3
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