Why does anyone do anything?
First of all my phone is restored to it's normal working order. Carry on with your bad text messaging self.
I watched the movie American Psycho again this last weekend. This is by far one of my favorite movies, easily in my top 10 if not top 5. If you have not seen it I recommend it very strongly. Regardless, after the movie I found myself noting that I admired some of the main character's qualities. Not that he is a psychopathic killer, but rather that he is completely self absorbed and able to ignore entirely the people surrounding him. I suppose it comes from being very different from this. I've always been very concerned with those around me, often placing their needs above my own. For the most part I've always considered this a great strength of mine and prided myself on being very unselfish and something of a peacemaker. Over the last few days however, I have begun to wonder if this quality is in fact more of a weakness. Perhaps all this time I've been doing things the wrong way.
I know I probably don't strike people as much of a 'people person,' but the truth is that I love people and I live my life to help them. It is why I work where I do and act the way I do. Most of the time I think people just need a little something, and it is the best part of my day when I am the one who can provide that. I try pretty hard to make others laugh because that is really the easiest way to do it. But there are a handful of people that I have had the real joy to become close to, who let their guard down enough for me to really understand them and help them with their real problems. These have been the most rewarding moments and relationships of my life. I like to think that I have been a very positive and in some ways guiding force in these people's lives. Who knows if that is really true or not.
At the end of the day I really like who I am and how I operate, but sometimes I look in the mirror and imagine myself as the complete opposite of this person I know. And you know what? That guy is pretty fucking cool too. Sometimes I wish I was him.
I watched the movie American Psycho again this last weekend. This is by far one of my favorite movies, easily in my top 10 if not top 5. If you have not seen it I recommend it very strongly. Regardless, after the movie I found myself noting that I admired some of the main character's qualities. Not that he is a psychopathic killer, but rather that he is completely self absorbed and able to ignore entirely the people surrounding him. I suppose it comes from being very different from this. I've always been very concerned with those around me, often placing their needs above my own. For the most part I've always considered this a great strength of mine and prided myself on being very unselfish and something of a peacemaker. Over the last few days however, I have begun to wonder if this quality is in fact more of a weakness. Perhaps all this time I've been doing things the wrong way.
I know I probably don't strike people as much of a 'people person,' but the truth is that I love people and I live my life to help them. It is why I work where I do and act the way I do. Most of the time I think people just need a little something, and it is the best part of my day when I am the one who can provide that. I try pretty hard to make others laugh because that is really the easiest way to do it. But there are a handful of people that I have had the real joy to become close to, who let their guard down enough for me to really understand them and help them with their real problems. These have been the most rewarding moments and relationships of my life. I like to think that I have been a very positive and in some ways guiding force in these people's lives. Who knows if that is really true or not.
At the end of the day I really like who I am and how I operate, but sometimes I look in the mirror and imagine myself as the complete opposite of this person I know. And you know what? That guy is pretty fucking cool too. Sometimes I wish I was him.