Letters
Dear Apple,
If I shell out money for a season pass for Doctor Who, it would be nice if you could consistently and reliably deliver episodes on time, or at least explain why you aren't. I will be looking at Amazon-on-Demand for next season...
--An Annoyed Fan
Dear Middle Ear,
I know this is your annual vertigo vacation when you decide that concepts like "up" and "down" are all relative. Some of us actually need to be able to focus on screens and/or drive places, however. Could you please hold off until I actually have time to do the Epley manuevers properly?
-My Brain
Dear students,
Please don't break any more bones. We're already at 5 significant injuries for the quarter and counting. Also, you could stop consistently making it to national finals in your sport and thus needing to miss weeks of class. Cool as the Ultimate Frisbee championships undoubtedly are.
--Dr. Ori, looking forward to slightly less athletically talented/klutzy students.
And finally, I want to lighten up the mood by quoting a bit from Tina Fey's_Bossypants_, which I still wish I owned:
"From dlisted.com
Posted by Centaurious on Monday, 9/21/2009, 2:08 A.M.
"Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped, bitchy, overrated troll."
Dear Centaurious,
First, let me say how inspiring it is that you have learned to use a computer.
I hate for our correspondence to be confrontational, but you have offended me deeply. To say I'm an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. I'll leave it for others to say if I'm the best, but I am certainly one of the most dedicated trolls guarding bridges today. I always ask three questions, at least two of which are riddles.
As for "ugly, pear-shaped, and bitchy"? I prefer the terms "off-beat, business class-assed, and exhausted", but I'll take what I can get. There's no such thing as bad press!
Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope.
Affectionately,
Tina"
If I shell out money for a season pass for Doctor Who, it would be nice if you could consistently and reliably deliver episodes on time, or at least explain why you aren't. I will be looking at Amazon-on-Demand for next season...
--An Annoyed Fan
Dear Middle Ear,
I know this is your annual vertigo vacation when you decide that concepts like "up" and "down" are all relative. Some of us actually need to be able to focus on screens and/or drive places, however. Could you please hold off until I actually have time to do the Epley manuevers properly?
-My Brain
Dear students,
Please don't break any more bones. We're already at 5 significant injuries for the quarter and counting. Also, you could stop consistently making it to national finals in your sport and thus needing to miss weeks of class. Cool as the Ultimate Frisbee championships undoubtedly are.
--Dr. Ori, looking forward to slightly less athletically talented/klutzy students.
And finally, I want to lighten up the mood by quoting a bit from Tina Fey's_Bossypants_, which I still wish I owned:
"From dlisted.com
Posted by Centaurious on Monday, 9/21/2009, 2:08 A.M.
"Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped, bitchy, overrated troll."
Dear Centaurious,
First, let me say how inspiring it is that you have learned to use a computer.
I hate for our correspondence to be confrontational, but you have offended me deeply. To say I'm an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. I'll leave it for others to say if I'm the best, but I am certainly one of the most dedicated trolls guarding bridges today. I always ask three questions, at least two of which are riddles.
As for "ugly, pear-shaped, and bitchy"? I prefer the terms "off-beat, business class-assed, and exhausted", but I'll take what I can get. There's no such thing as bad press!
Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope.
Affectionately,
Tina"