Mac and Robbie Quotes of the Year, Part II
June: Other great quote of the day:
Me: Why do we use an indoor voice sometimes, Mac?
Mac: Because if we use a loud voice, the wind from our words can rush out and knock over the furniture, and if it's made of glass, it might break!
Me: Well, that wasn't the reason I was thinking of, but it's a good one.
Distinguishing between Mac's imagination and real world continues to be a bit of a challenge sometimes; he told me today that his latest set of stories, "The Spy of Canuya, Season 4," which is "about when he defeats a giant leg monster, which is full of legs and it can shoot bombs from its legs," won't be released until his 5th birthday, because it's too scary for 4-year-olds. "Spy of Canuya Season 3" is about the time the Spy accidentally turned a gorilla into a giant and had to escape it and figure out how to turn it back. Yes, my son's make-believe has release dates.
June 18th: Brothers:
Mac: Can I come walk the dog with you, Mommy?
Me: Not tonight, Mac. I have a special thing to ask of you instead. You know how Robbie's been crying? Well, I just went in there, and asked him what would make him happy, and he said, "Kakker. And Mac!" So can you go into the nursery and try and cheer him up a little, while Daddy reads you stories?
Mac: Okay, Mommy, I can do that. Because I like Robbie. I like him a whole lot. And someday soon, when he's older, we're both going to love each other very very much.
Possibly the Best Quote of the Year:
July 5th: And then there's this one, which is getting saved and produced in 20-odd years: (cackle)
Mac, at bedtime: Mommy, I want to give you a set of instructions for my wedding.
Me: Okay.
Mac: I'm getting married to Kayli, from school, when we're all grown up, but there are some very important things that I need you to do first.
Me: What are they?
Mac: First of all, there needs to be a zip line attached to each of our chairs. That way, when she tries to kiss me, I can escape quickly, because sticky lipstick is icky and gets all stuck to your cheek! Then, you need to get me a parachute.
Me: Why a parachute?
Mac: So I can arrive at the wedding in a parachute! I also need a hammer.
Me: Why a hammer?
Mac: (looking at me scornfully, as if I am not very bright) So I can bash in the roof after I land on it with my parachute! Otherwise I can't get to the wedding! And finally, I need a gun, one of those laser thingies, and a helmet with a lantern on it.
Me: Why do you need those?
Mac: Because! This is Battle Marry, where I am battling and Kayli is marrying, and I need those to stop her from kissing me!
Mac: I need some more cornbread because my work in Toyland is really hard. It's hard because I have so many jobs. I have to be a detective, and a spy, and an inventor, and a gas station attendant, and a secret palentologist, and a policeman. But luckily, today is a Crime Break Day, so I don't have as much to do.
August:
On the plus side, the ride home also involved this conversation:
Me: Mac, how do you like the first week of camp?
Mac: It was great! And I already have lots of girlfriends!
Me: That's nice; why don't you tell me about them.
Mac: Oh, I don't know any of their names, but they're fun to be with. But the best part is, none of them try to kiss me!
Mac: "Mommy, sometimes I'm scared of you."
Me: "What? Why would you be scared of me?"
Mac: "Well, sometimes your fingers look like claws, and frogs start jumping away from you."
Mac: Mommy and Daddy, can I have a rope?
Me: Why? (nervously)
Mac: So I can light one end on fire and put the other end in some empty boxes and then explode them!
(simultaneously) Me: No!
CP: Oh, you don't want a rope, you don't want a fuse.
Me: The answer is still No!
CP: Well, okay.
Mac: When I grow up and I'm a scientist, can I have a fuse then if I take it outdoors?
Us: Yes, that would be fine.
Me: Why do you want to be a villain?
Mac: Well, I hope I'll grow up into a villain, so I can use all sorts of disguises and buy all sorts of weapons.
Me: But Mac, people don't really like villains. They don't have any friends.
Mac: Well, nobody except for other villains! So my secret plan is to create more villains.
Me: Wouldn't you rather be a good guy?
Mac: No, because bad guys have really cool stuff. Like guns.
I should add that Mac has now decided that his new supervillain name is "Professor Money." He orders his robots to take money from other people so that he can turn the money into screws for more robots.
As Mac ventured further into the water, he shouted with glee, "I'm a Deepling! I'll come out of the water at you!"
A: "Well, we might call you a Deep One. There's a famous story about creatures called Deep Ones who do things like that."
Mac: "Actually, I'm a Deep Two."
I painted pictures today! Because my teacher says that when you paint beautiful pictures, it makes the muscle that is your brain grow bigger. And my brain started singing when she saw how pretty my picture was, because, sadly, my brain is a girl, and she likes to sing about pretty things all the time.
Me: Why do we use an indoor voice sometimes, Mac?
Mac: Because if we use a loud voice, the wind from our words can rush out and knock over the furniture, and if it's made of glass, it might break!
Me: Well, that wasn't the reason I was thinking of, but it's a good one.
Distinguishing between Mac's imagination and real world continues to be a bit of a challenge sometimes; he told me today that his latest set of stories, "The Spy of Canuya, Season 4," which is "about when he defeats a giant leg monster, which is full of legs and it can shoot bombs from its legs," won't be released until his 5th birthday, because it's too scary for 4-year-olds. "Spy of Canuya Season 3" is about the time the Spy accidentally turned a gorilla into a giant and had to escape it and figure out how to turn it back. Yes, my son's make-believe has release dates.
June 18th: Brothers:
Mac: Can I come walk the dog with you, Mommy?
Me: Not tonight, Mac. I have a special thing to ask of you instead. You know how Robbie's been crying? Well, I just went in there, and asked him what would make him happy, and he said, "Kakker. And Mac!" So can you go into the nursery and try and cheer him up a little, while Daddy reads you stories?
Mac: Okay, Mommy, I can do that. Because I like Robbie. I like him a whole lot. And someday soon, when he's older, we're both going to love each other very very much.
Possibly the Best Quote of the Year:
July 5th: And then there's this one, which is getting saved and produced in 20-odd years: (cackle)
Mac, at bedtime: Mommy, I want to give you a set of instructions for my wedding.
Me: Okay.
Mac: I'm getting married to Kayli, from school, when we're all grown up, but there are some very important things that I need you to do first.
Me: What are they?
Mac: First of all, there needs to be a zip line attached to each of our chairs. That way, when she tries to kiss me, I can escape quickly, because sticky lipstick is icky and gets all stuck to your cheek! Then, you need to get me a parachute.
Me: Why a parachute?
Mac: So I can arrive at the wedding in a parachute! I also need a hammer.
Me: Why a hammer?
Mac: (looking at me scornfully, as if I am not very bright) So I can bash in the roof after I land on it with my parachute! Otherwise I can't get to the wedding! And finally, I need a gun, one of those laser thingies, and a helmet with a lantern on it.
Me: Why do you need those?
Mac: Because! This is Battle Marry, where I am battling and Kayli is marrying, and I need those to stop her from kissing me!
Mac: I need some more cornbread because my work in Toyland is really hard. It's hard because I have so many jobs. I have to be a detective, and a spy, and an inventor, and a gas station attendant, and a secret palentologist, and a policeman. But luckily, today is a Crime Break Day, so I don't have as much to do.
August:
On the plus side, the ride home also involved this conversation:
Me: Mac, how do you like the first week of camp?
Mac: It was great! And I already have lots of girlfriends!
Me: That's nice; why don't you tell me about them.
Mac: Oh, I don't know any of their names, but they're fun to be with. But the best part is, none of them try to kiss me!
Mac: "Mommy, sometimes I'm scared of you."
Me: "What? Why would you be scared of me?"
Mac: "Well, sometimes your fingers look like claws, and frogs start jumping away from you."
Mac: Mommy and Daddy, can I have a rope?
Me: Why? (nervously)
Mac: So I can light one end on fire and put the other end in some empty boxes and then explode them!
(simultaneously) Me: No!
CP: Oh, you don't want a rope, you don't want a fuse.
Me: The answer is still No!
CP: Well, okay.
Mac: When I grow up and I'm a scientist, can I have a fuse then if I take it outdoors?
Us: Yes, that would be fine.
Me: Why do you want to be a villain?
Mac: Well, I hope I'll grow up into a villain, so I can use all sorts of disguises and buy all sorts of weapons.
Me: But Mac, people don't really like villains. They don't have any friends.
Mac: Well, nobody except for other villains! So my secret plan is to create more villains.
Me: Wouldn't you rather be a good guy?
Mac: No, because bad guys have really cool stuff. Like guns.
I should add that Mac has now decided that his new supervillain name is "Professor Money." He orders his robots to take money from other people so that he can turn the money into screws for more robots.
As Mac ventured further into the water, he shouted with glee, "I'm a Deepling! I'll come out of the water at you!"
A: "Well, we might call you a Deep One. There's a famous story about creatures called Deep Ones who do things like that."
Mac: "Actually, I'm a Deep Two."
I painted pictures today! Because my teacher says that when you paint beautiful pictures, it makes the muscle that is your brain grow bigger. And my brain started singing when she saw how pretty my picture was, because, sadly, my brain is a girl, and she likes to sing about pretty things all the time.