Emotional Dump
K.. where to start?
Had to go to court today for a ticket from the beginning of november. Violation of Basic Speed and No Proof of Insurance. I was guilty as charged, except I was really accidentally doing 15 over.. Oops
It was my first offense, my first ticket, and I now have insurance.. so.. I got a slap on the wrist and had to pay $145..
Missed a week's worth of work, today's paycheck and next week's are going to be slightly smaller than normal..
So now I have $16 in the bank, and rent's already due, and I can't afford to pitch in right now..
Before I even got home from court we got served eviction papers.. the court date is on the 24th. We have to pay $555 back rent that we owe, plus this month's rent of $690, and jon (aka wolfire) completely and totally bailed us out..
He just wrote a check for the whole amount, I gotta go take it up to the front office tomorrow.. But Joyce found a place to live (she's pregnant, so needs more room for the baby..) so we're all going to be vacating the apt by the beginning of next month, and I don't know where I'm going to go yet. I seriously doubt that I'll end up on the streets, but I have a dog and 2 cats to think about. Don't know where I could go and bring them with me..
My car is a thin hair away from dying on me (the tie rods are going). I can feel it when I'm driving, but, once my car breaks down then I'd have to find a new job. UGH. That's not to say that I'm not already close to losing my job because of absences and tardies (my job has a specifically set thing, you get too many absences in too short a time span, you're gone. It's a little complicated, and impartial). I'm not making enough money to support myself.
I'm not currently enrolled in school cuz I had to drop this past quarter for health reasons.. I was too exhausted to try to go to school in the evenings and fight my natural sleep schedule (when i work midnights my body likes to fall asleep around 1pm and wake up right before work) But, I am re-enrolling, not sure what that's going to do to my loans.
Oh, and I may be getting married and moving to an air force base to be a military wife. We're not sure how to work that one out.. We can't afford to have a ceremony yet, we might not even be able to afford getting it solomized. Pat's having some doubts about us getting married right now.. mostly because a friend of his and his parents thinking it's too soon.
And, they're kinda right. But, they're not. It doesn't matter to me when we get married. For me, it's like speeding up the inevitable. Pat is the one for me, period. Life is just forcing our hand earlier than we anticipated. But, he wants to make everyone in his life happy all the time, and he can't, it's impossible.. He needs to live his own life, not the ones his family wants him to live, not the ones his friends want him to live, not the one I want him to live. His own life...
I love him cuz I love him, but marriage now is a practical matter. Makes it 100x easier to stay near him, I get his health benefits, I can live on base with him, the government sees me as a legitimate thing. Same goes for his family too, actually.
Also, I'd rather marry him and regret it sometime in the future than have our relationship slowly rot because he spends more time away from me than with me.. I can handle 6-8 months for training, that's a definite end. But I can't do 4 years of seeing him for a max of 30 days a year or up until some random undefined end... I just know that if we're not engaged and getting married shortly after basic training that our relationship is going to fall apart. He's going to be going under life changes, if I'm not there for as much of it as I can be, then he'll grow without me, and I'll be left behind.
Had to go to court today for a ticket from the beginning of november. Violation of Basic Speed and No Proof of Insurance. I was guilty as charged, except I was really accidentally doing 15 over.. Oops
It was my first offense, my first ticket, and I now have insurance.. so.. I got a slap on the wrist and had to pay $145..
Missed a week's worth of work, today's paycheck and next week's are going to be slightly smaller than normal..
So now I have $16 in the bank, and rent's already due, and I can't afford to pitch in right now..
Before I even got home from court we got served eviction papers.. the court date is on the 24th. We have to pay $555 back rent that we owe, plus this month's rent of $690, and jon (aka wolfire) completely and totally bailed us out..
He just wrote a check for the whole amount, I gotta go take it up to the front office tomorrow.. But Joyce found a place to live (she's pregnant, so needs more room for the baby..) so we're all going to be vacating the apt by the beginning of next month, and I don't know where I'm going to go yet. I seriously doubt that I'll end up on the streets, but I have a dog and 2 cats to think about. Don't know where I could go and bring them with me..
My car is a thin hair away from dying on me (the tie rods are going). I can feel it when I'm driving, but, once my car breaks down then I'd have to find a new job. UGH. That's not to say that I'm not already close to losing my job because of absences and tardies (my job has a specifically set thing, you get too many absences in too short a time span, you're gone. It's a little complicated, and impartial). I'm not making enough money to support myself.
I'm not currently enrolled in school cuz I had to drop this past quarter for health reasons.. I was too exhausted to try to go to school in the evenings and fight my natural sleep schedule (when i work midnights my body likes to fall asleep around 1pm and wake up right before work) But, I am re-enrolling, not sure what that's going to do to my loans.
Oh, and I may be getting married and moving to an air force base to be a military wife. We're not sure how to work that one out.. We can't afford to have a ceremony yet, we might not even be able to afford getting it solomized. Pat's having some doubts about us getting married right now.. mostly because a friend of his and his parents thinking it's too soon.
And, they're kinda right. But, they're not. It doesn't matter to me when we get married. For me, it's like speeding up the inevitable. Pat is the one for me, period. Life is just forcing our hand earlier than we anticipated. But, he wants to make everyone in his life happy all the time, and he can't, it's impossible.. He needs to live his own life, not the ones his family wants him to live, not the ones his friends want him to live, not the one I want him to live. His own life...
I love him cuz I love him, but marriage now is a practical matter. Makes it 100x easier to stay near him, I get his health benefits, I can live on base with him, the government sees me as a legitimate thing. Same goes for his family too, actually.
Also, I'd rather marry him and regret it sometime in the future than have our relationship slowly rot because he spends more time away from me than with me.. I can handle 6-8 months for training, that's a definite end. But I can't do 4 years of seeing him for a max of 30 days a year or up until some random undefined end... I just know that if we're not engaged and getting married shortly after basic training that our relationship is going to fall apart. He's going to be going under life changes, if I'm not there for as much of it as I can be, then he'll grow without me, and I'll be left behind.