Sure
I quit. This isn't working for me. This live journal is just some stupid shitty way for me to open myself up a little. I might as well say as much as I can. While others think I'm still the same ol' Asian boy who tries to be funny, in the end, I'm not. I can't stand this anymore. I had another talk about my life. How my parents want to push me into the right direction. While I do appreciate what they've done for me, I think it'd be better if I choose my path on my own. As cliche as this may sound, I'm going to continue on my own. I don't know why I chose to say that, but it sounds right to me. This doesn't mean I'm going to isolate myself from the world. Who knows, maybe I'll ask for my friends for help if necessary. I'm not smart enough to get far in college and that limits what I can do for a career, but I'm willing to see how far it takes me. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to continue doing what I always do with my life. My family, I know they don't believe me that I'll try harder in my life, but I will show them.
I hate live journals. I hate typing out what I feel right now. This is incredibly stupid. After I'm done writing this, you may think I've changed as soon as you read this. But I won't. I will still be the same person as you see everyday. I will continue to play Tekken, I will continue to work at the Golden Dragon. I'm the guy who drives the 1998 White Subaru Impreza, and I'm the same guy who wants to put himself in danger by doing something stupid just to tick some guy off. Sure I might get my ass kicked, but its a risk I'm willing to take. After I get the shit kicked out of me, I may have the motivation to take up martial arts just because I got my ass handed to me. All I need is motivation and I'll do it. That's it. I could continue with my rant but I'll try to keep it short. My friends have also played an important role in my life. I hurt some of my friends along the way and I do feel sorry about it. Not once did I ever forget what I've done to them and how I hurted them. It bothers me to this day. My friends helped change me a lot. I use to think I'd be hangin' with Dutter for a long time, but it turns out, I'm not. I'm kind of glad to because I was able to be my own person. I thank Dutter for helping me find new friends and I am now able to be me. I am unique as hell and I don't give a fuck if you think I'm imitating someone else. I have shit grammar, I can speak to people normally, my logic is crazy, and more. This is pretty much all I can say. Hangin out with CJ, Nate, Pat, Jake Tuura, Ludwingson, and Aaron Frey helped me think some things through. I was able to do crazy things and shared hilarious moments with all of them. Then Spencer came in and we were all part of TEAM SEERYUZ BIDNEZZ. I learned that he thinks almost the same way I do. Even though its hard to believe it, but I could say most of my friends think and feel the same way as I do. They help change who I am without even realizing it. I may not show it on the outside but on the inside I've changed. Heh why else do you think I was so quiet on our Marshall trip and when we were at the Dells? I was thinking. Thinking so much about myself. How I was going to survive. How I was going to live. What is waiting for me ahead. I was not emo. Fuck that shit. I'd rather eat my arm off than become an emo bitch.
I've done a lot of thinking. I procrastinate when I do things. I never stop doing it. I should stop. I don't like it. It's not good for me, and its also not healthy. My sleep routine is destroyed and that's not good. I need to stop. I should figure out ways to help me. I need to do things for myself. I hate thinking. But I love thinking. I love contradicting myself. It's humorous but stupid. I'm not going to change immediately, but I'll take one step at a time. I have a wall in front of me. I don't know how big the wall is. But I'm going to get over that wall one way or another. I have to do this.
This is kind of stupid. After thinking about it, I've lost my edge and now I can't think of anything more to say. Maybe I deserve to be in that intermediate English Course after all. Heh
I hate live journals. I hate typing out what I feel right now. This is incredibly stupid. After I'm done writing this, you may think I've changed as soon as you read this. But I won't. I will still be the same person as you see everyday. I will continue to play Tekken, I will continue to work at the Golden Dragon. I'm the guy who drives the 1998 White Subaru Impreza, and I'm the same guy who wants to put himself in danger by doing something stupid just to tick some guy off. Sure I might get my ass kicked, but its a risk I'm willing to take. After I get the shit kicked out of me, I may have the motivation to take up martial arts just because I got my ass handed to me. All I need is motivation and I'll do it. That's it. I could continue with my rant but I'll try to keep it short. My friends have also played an important role in my life. I hurt some of my friends along the way and I do feel sorry about it. Not once did I ever forget what I've done to them and how I hurted them. It bothers me to this day. My friends helped change me a lot. I use to think I'd be hangin' with Dutter for a long time, but it turns out, I'm not. I'm kind of glad to because I was able to be my own person. I thank Dutter for helping me find new friends and I am now able to be me. I am unique as hell and I don't give a fuck if you think I'm imitating someone else. I have shit grammar, I can speak to people normally, my logic is crazy, and more. This is pretty much all I can say. Hangin out with CJ, Nate, Pat, Jake Tuura, Ludwingson, and Aaron Frey helped me think some things through. I was able to do crazy things and shared hilarious moments with all of them. Then Spencer came in and we were all part of TEAM SEERYUZ BIDNEZZ. I learned that he thinks almost the same way I do. Even though its hard to believe it, but I could say most of my friends think and feel the same way as I do. They help change who I am without even realizing it. I may not show it on the outside but on the inside I've changed. Heh why else do you think I was so quiet on our Marshall trip and when we were at the Dells? I was thinking. Thinking so much about myself. How I was going to survive. How I was going to live. What is waiting for me ahead. I was not emo. Fuck that shit. I'd rather eat my arm off than become an emo bitch.
I've done a lot of thinking. I procrastinate when I do things. I never stop doing it. I should stop. I don't like it. It's not good for me, and its also not healthy. My sleep routine is destroyed and that's not good. I need to stop. I should figure out ways to help me. I need to do things for myself. I hate thinking. But I love thinking. I love contradicting myself. It's humorous but stupid. I'm not going to change immediately, but I'll take one step at a time. I have a wall in front of me. I don't know how big the wall is. But I'm going to get over that wall one way or another. I have to do this.
This is kind of stupid. After thinking about it, I've lost my edge and now I can't think of anything more to say. Maybe I deserve to be in that intermediate English Course after all. Heh