Every Day of Your Life
Title: Every Day of Your Life
Rating: PG
Form: Oneshot
Words: 1, 144
Pairings: onesided Jaeho
Genre: angst?
Summary: One day to the next, always there beside you.
AN: This is REALLY rough. Rougher then usual, sorry. I should have gone through and polished it up a bit but I feel vaguely sick and I've still got assignment stuff to write. Urgh. This kinda stuff is like de-stress for me. So it's kinda sucky. ^^;
I don’t know when nothing became something. When your touch began to burn, when your gaze began to set me on fire. We’ve been together a long time now, through thick and thin and we’d always know we’d be best friends forever. And we are. I’m your best friend, and you’re mine. I’m just also in love with you. Have been for years.
It was hard at first. Everything got awkward and I couldn’t even look at you without blushing. I tried to stay away, but that was just stupid, and then you got angry because you thought I was trying to ditch you. I’d never ditch you. I smiled and told you so. You were still cross, cross at the awkwardness and the not knowing what to do. Because you did know, you knew exactly what it was I was doing, and why. You ignored it though, so I did too. I didn’t expect anything else, even if I did spend days killing myself over it. But then I forced myself through it because you were still waiting. Waiting for your best friend to get over it, get over you and come back to you. So I vowed to be there for you always, no matter what. And that vow has become the cornerstone of my entire being. After that, I didn’t let anything come between us, not even myself.
I think you forget, most of the time. That, or you’ve buried the knowledge. It’s okay… I can understand that. It’d be much easier if I could do it too, but unfortunately that’s not the way the world works. But maybe it’s easier on me if you do forget though. If you do come out with your stupid questions every once and a while and remind me that I should forget too, even if I don’t, can’t, and never will.
“Hey, how come you don’t have a girlfriend yet, eh?” You’d ask, and I’d laugh it off.
“Haven’t found the right one for me yet.” I’d reply, same as always. It’s the truth of course. I can’t find the right one because I can’t find a girl that’s you and even if I did she couldn’t have my heart because it’s still with you. In the dusty part of your mind where that knowledge rests.
The girlfriends come and go. There’s some I like, some I don’t. I figure for most the part they’ve got to be nice, because you like them. And if they make you happy, I like them all the more. If they make you happy, they must be, for the most part, good people. Unfortunately ‘good’ is never really enough. I know that, painfully. So when it doesn’t work out, I’m still always there. Will always be there. You can come talk to me, call me up and I’ll always be there, no matter what. That little dusty part of your mind throbs with enough warmth to let you know I’ll never turn you away. You’ll fall asleep on my couch, drunk and maybe, hopefully, a little less in pain, and I’ll stumble off to my own bed and dream of you, waking up cold, alone and hung over. But you’ll be throwing up in the bathroom, so I’ll put off my own sickness for a while to get you water and a towel so we can prop each other up to face the day.
Then, when you’re ready, I’ll be there when you find the One. I’ll be there to meet her when you first introduce us, to reassure you afterwards that yes, she seems lovely and yes, I liked her. I’ll be there when you fret over her Valentines present, and what to do for her birthday. I’ll be there when you choose the ring. I’ll cry, alone in my room afterwards, but I’ll smile so very brightly and mean it, god I’ll make myself mean it, when you tell me ecstatically that she said yes. Because who would ever say no to you?
I wouldn’t. Not ever. So I’ll be your best man. Stand by you at your wedding, watching as you take her hand, watching as she takes your lips and your name while I imagine all the what-ifs in the world. I won’t cry before the reception. I don’t think your wedding should be soiled by my tears. I’ll probably have a glass too many before I get up and do my speech, but I’ll forgive myself that. I’ll drive you both to the airport for your honeymoon and wave as your plane takes off.
I’ll miss you bitterly when you come back, time spent with her time not spent with me. Eventually the glow will wear, I hope, and we can watch football games that I’m not interested in, and talk again and I can imagine we’re back in college and it’s just the two of us. Imagine selfishly that you’re all mine, even if it’s just in friendship as it is now. At the end of the night, you’ll go back home to her though, her and her home cooked meals, and I’ll feed my fish, heat up left overs and watch the night sky while thinking of you.
I’ll be the uncle to your kids, spoil them with gifts and ice cream and look after them when you and her are having a rough spot. I’ll make you go home when you want to stay over, tell you to suck it up and apologise. I’ll be the extra plate at your Christmas dinners and the one who still bakes you a cake for your birthday, conspiring with your sister over stupid gag gifts.
I’ll help you out getting your kids through college - I know they’ll be going, because they’re your kids. And I know there’s nothing else I’d rather spend my money on. I’ll come to their graduation and drink beers with you in the pub and reminisce about our own entry into the world. I’ll wonder, watching your far away eyes, still the same despite the crinkles at their edges and the laugh lines of your face, I’ll wonder if you ever remembered that time when you knew I loved you. I’ll wonder if you know that I still love you right there on that day and every day in between, though maybe not as fervently and hotly as I do right now.
It won’t matter either way though. I know, with a sure certainty, looking across at you as you sit on the couch - beer in hand heckling the little men on TV for dropping the ball, that I’ll be there. Through any and all of that.
I’ll be there, beside you on every day of your life. Loving you on every day of your life. No matter what. My best friend.
Rating: PG
Form: Oneshot
Words: 1, 144
Pairings: onesided Jaeho
Genre: angst?
Summary: One day to the next, always there beside you.
AN: This is REALLY rough. Rougher then usual, sorry. I should have gone through and polished it up a bit but I feel vaguely sick and I've still got assignment stuff to write. Urgh. This kinda stuff is like de-stress for me. So it's kinda sucky. ^^;
I don’t know when nothing became something. When your touch began to burn, when your gaze began to set me on fire. We’ve been together a long time now, through thick and thin and we’d always know we’d be best friends forever. And we are. I’m your best friend, and you’re mine. I’m just also in love with you. Have been for years.
It was hard at first. Everything got awkward and I couldn’t even look at you without blushing. I tried to stay away, but that was just stupid, and then you got angry because you thought I was trying to ditch you. I’d never ditch you. I smiled and told you so. You were still cross, cross at the awkwardness and the not knowing what to do. Because you did know, you knew exactly what it was I was doing, and why. You ignored it though, so I did too. I didn’t expect anything else, even if I did spend days killing myself over it. But then I forced myself through it because you were still waiting. Waiting for your best friend to get over it, get over you and come back to you. So I vowed to be there for you always, no matter what. And that vow has become the cornerstone of my entire being. After that, I didn’t let anything come between us, not even myself.
I think you forget, most of the time. That, or you’ve buried the knowledge. It’s okay… I can understand that. It’d be much easier if I could do it too, but unfortunately that’s not the way the world works. But maybe it’s easier on me if you do forget though. If you do come out with your stupid questions every once and a while and remind me that I should forget too, even if I don’t, can’t, and never will.
“Hey, how come you don’t have a girlfriend yet, eh?” You’d ask, and I’d laugh it off.
“Haven’t found the right one for me yet.” I’d reply, same as always. It’s the truth of course. I can’t find the right one because I can’t find a girl that’s you and even if I did she couldn’t have my heart because it’s still with you. In the dusty part of your mind where that knowledge rests.
The girlfriends come and go. There’s some I like, some I don’t. I figure for most the part they’ve got to be nice, because you like them. And if they make you happy, I like them all the more. If they make you happy, they must be, for the most part, good people. Unfortunately ‘good’ is never really enough. I know that, painfully. So when it doesn’t work out, I’m still always there. Will always be there. You can come talk to me, call me up and I’ll always be there, no matter what. That little dusty part of your mind throbs with enough warmth to let you know I’ll never turn you away. You’ll fall asleep on my couch, drunk and maybe, hopefully, a little less in pain, and I’ll stumble off to my own bed and dream of you, waking up cold, alone and hung over. But you’ll be throwing up in the bathroom, so I’ll put off my own sickness for a while to get you water and a towel so we can prop each other up to face the day.
Then, when you’re ready, I’ll be there when you find the One. I’ll be there to meet her when you first introduce us, to reassure you afterwards that yes, she seems lovely and yes, I liked her. I’ll be there when you fret over her Valentines present, and what to do for her birthday. I’ll be there when you choose the ring. I’ll cry, alone in my room afterwards, but I’ll smile so very brightly and mean it, god I’ll make myself mean it, when you tell me ecstatically that she said yes. Because who would ever say no to you?
I wouldn’t. Not ever. So I’ll be your best man. Stand by you at your wedding, watching as you take her hand, watching as she takes your lips and your name while I imagine all the what-ifs in the world. I won’t cry before the reception. I don’t think your wedding should be soiled by my tears. I’ll probably have a glass too many before I get up and do my speech, but I’ll forgive myself that. I’ll drive you both to the airport for your honeymoon and wave as your plane takes off.
I’ll miss you bitterly when you come back, time spent with her time not spent with me. Eventually the glow will wear, I hope, and we can watch football games that I’m not interested in, and talk again and I can imagine we’re back in college and it’s just the two of us. Imagine selfishly that you’re all mine, even if it’s just in friendship as it is now. At the end of the night, you’ll go back home to her though, her and her home cooked meals, and I’ll feed my fish, heat up left overs and watch the night sky while thinking of you.
I’ll be the uncle to your kids, spoil them with gifts and ice cream and look after them when you and her are having a rough spot. I’ll make you go home when you want to stay over, tell you to suck it up and apologise. I’ll be the extra plate at your Christmas dinners and the one who still bakes you a cake for your birthday, conspiring with your sister over stupid gag gifts.
I’ll help you out getting your kids through college - I know they’ll be going, because they’re your kids. And I know there’s nothing else I’d rather spend my money on. I’ll come to their graduation and drink beers with you in the pub and reminisce about our own entry into the world. I’ll wonder, watching your far away eyes, still the same despite the crinkles at their edges and the laugh lines of your face, I’ll wonder if you ever remembered that time when you knew I loved you. I’ll wonder if you know that I still love you right there on that day and every day in between, though maybe not as fervently and hotly as I do right now.
It won’t matter either way though. I know, with a sure certainty, looking across at you as you sit on the couch - beer in hand heckling the little men on TV for dropping the ball, that I’ll be there. Through any and all of that.
I’ll be there, beside you on every day of your life. Loving you on every day of your life. No matter what. My best friend.