Reflection + Japan
He stares at his nails as the girl quickly and efficeintly coats them with shiny laquer, their perfect cresent cuticles pressed back, the tips neatly trimmed. They aren't his nails, not really.
His hair is carefully combed back by a girl, who also pulls at a lock on the side of his head, drawing it out a little. It hurts, tugging uncomfortably at his scalp before settling back into the itching ache that is a near constant these days. The hair isn't his either.
The grey eyes look strange. He doesn't like looking in the mirror these days because he feels like an alien when he sees them. They stare blankly and he can't find anything reflected in them. Maybe there's nothing there to be relfected. They're not really his, anymore then the hair or the nails.
He sees a person on the cover of a magazine, so trendy, so perfect, and he wonders who they are. The grey eyes, blonde hair, shiny nails. He looks like a manequin, so plastic and unreal. He catches his reflection in the shop window, and wonders at the stranger who looks back out at him, warped and twisted and fake. He doesn't know where he's gone, or when he left - all he knows is that he can't find himself anywhere anymore.
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Japan changes them.
He’s not really sure why, or if it could be considered good or not, but either way, it’s a simple fact that it does. He’s not really sure he likes it specifically either.
It’s like, during the two hours over the ocean, the rush of air over their barreling tube of metal has swept up who they are and mixed them around, leaving them to get used to their new skins and personalities in only short minutes before they’re thrown to the fans and the interviewers.
They sit differently. It’s unfamiliar, and it changes things. Not in the way he’d think, either. Because they’ve all been mixed up like a badly made cocktail on the way over, Jaejoong doesn’t rest his hand on Yunho’s thigh. Because of it, Changmin leans forward and giggles inanely, his long pretty hair flopping into his moon-shaped eyes pressed high by his smile. Because if it, Jaejoong talks and talks and Junsu doesn’t laugh.
When he comes into his room at night, the usual scene is to find Changmin folded up on Jaejoong’s bed, long limbs splayed everywhere as they belt each other with pillows or just piled on top of each other like puppies. Changmin laughs into Jaejoong’s ear and explains that Junsu is in one of his ‘moods’ (Junsu didn’t have ‘moods’ in Korea, but he’s taken up the ones Jaejoong left behind) and that he was such a sourpuss these days.
He wonders, vaguely (like most things these days for him), if he should be going next door to the sourpuss to try and blow laughter back into him. But then Jaejoong is tugging on his arm and he’s involved in some sort of impromptu wrestling match which leaves them all tangled on the bed.
A little while later, Yunho visits from his room with manager, and gives them all a look. It’s not quite sad, but it’s not happy nor really much of anything really. He tilts his head to the side and asks if they’ll study now? Jaejoong yelps something about OnePiece, and Changmin agrees. Soon the four of them roll down the hallway - Jaejoong’s arm around Changmin’s waist, the younger’s over his shoulders, with Yunho and he trailing behind. He wonders, briefly, but then it’s Yunho, not him, who goes to collect Junsu.
When Yunho gets to the living room however, Junsu is not with him. Jaejoong has nested himself on the floor in front of the couch, pulling down Changmin and him too to snuggle with. Something flickers in Yunho’s eyes, but he just sits on the couch behind them. Still part of the group, but watching over them from above like a good leader-sshi.
It’ll be 10 minutes into the show before Junsu comes in, face serious and aloof as he slides onto the other end of the couch, the space between him and the others tangible and seeming so very wide. He stays silent, even as Jaejoong and Changmin gabble to each other in Japanese, laughing, with Yunho contributing something now and again - usually about grammar more then interesting swear words.
For himself, the Japanese washes over his head and soaps out his ears. It’s too fast for him, even if it wasn’t fading in and out because he can’t focus on anything. He knows, tomorrow in the interviews they must go to, that he’ll be stuck for words, but that’ll be okay because Jaejoong will prattle and laugh and covertly look at Yunho to make sure he’s not saying stupid things which he usually always says in Korea but doesn’t care about. But now Yunho nods and adds his own expert leader opinion and they’ll tease Changmin and Junsu. Changmin will laugh and be embarrassed, while Junsu will be steely and put out. And he… he’ll be silent in the back. Just watching.
Because Japan has changed them, and he’s not sure he likes it.
His hair is carefully combed back by a girl, who also pulls at a lock on the side of his head, drawing it out a little. It hurts, tugging uncomfortably at his scalp before settling back into the itching ache that is a near constant these days. The hair isn't his either.
The grey eyes look strange. He doesn't like looking in the mirror these days because he feels like an alien when he sees them. They stare blankly and he can't find anything reflected in them. Maybe there's nothing there to be relfected. They're not really his, anymore then the hair or the nails.
He sees a person on the cover of a magazine, so trendy, so perfect, and he wonders who they are. The grey eyes, blonde hair, shiny nails. He looks like a manequin, so plastic and unreal. He catches his reflection in the shop window, and wonders at the stranger who looks back out at him, warped and twisted and fake. He doesn't know where he's gone, or when he left - all he knows is that he can't find himself anywhere anymore.
---------------------=================================-------------------
Japan changes them.
He’s not really sure why, or if it could be considered good or not, but either way, it’s a simple fact that it does. He’s not really sure he likes it specifically either.
It’s like, during the two hours over the ocean, the rush of air over their barreling tube of metal has swept up who they are and mixed them around, leaving them to get used to their new skins and personalities in only short minutes before they’re thrown to the fans and the interviewers.
They sit differently. It’s unfamiliar, and it changes things. Not in the way he’d think, either. Because they’ve all been mixed up like a badly made cocktail on the way over, Jaejoong doesn’t rest his hand on Yunho’s thigh. Because of it, Changmin leans forward and giggles inanely, his long pretty hair flopping into his moon-shaped eyes pressed high by his smile. Because if it, Jaejoong talks and talks and Junsu doesn’t laugh.
When he comes into his room at night, the usual scene is to find Changmin folded up on Jaejoong’s bed, long limbs splayed everywhere as they belt each other with pillows or just piled on top of each other like puppies. Changmin laughs into Jaejoong’s ear and explains that Junsu is in one of his ‘moods’ (Junsu didn’t have ‘moods’ in Korea, but he’s taken up the ones Jaejoong left behind) and that he was such a sourpuss these days.
He wonders, vaguely (like most things these days for him), if he should be going next door to the sourpuss to try and blow laughter back into him. But then Jaejoong is tugging on his arm and he’s involved in some sort of impromptu wrestling match which leaves them all tangled on the bed.
A little while later, Yunho visits from his room with manager, and gives them all a look. It’s not quite sad, but it’s not happy nor really much of anything really. He tilts his head to the side and asks if they’ll study now? Jaejoong yelps something about OnePiece, and Changmin agrees. Soon the four of them roll down the hallway - Jaejoong’s arm around Changmin’s waist, the younger’s over his shoulders, with Yunho and he trailing behind. He wonders, briefly, but then it’s Yunho, not him, who goes to collect Junsu.
When Yunho gets to the living room however, Junsu is not with him. Jaejoong has nested himself on the floor in front of the couch, pulling down Changmin and him too to snuggle with. Something flickers in Yunho’s eyes, but he just sits on the couch behind them. Still part of the group, but watching over them from above like a good leader-sshi.
It’ll be 10 minutes into the show before Junsu comes in, face serious and aloof as he slides onto the other end of the couch, the space between him and the others tangible and seeming so very wide. He stays silent, even as Jaejoong and Changmin gabble to each other in Japanese, laughing, with Yunho contributing something now and again - usually about grammar more then interesting swear words.
For himself, the Japanese washes over his head and soaps out his ears. It’s too fast for him, even if it wasn’t fading in and out because he can’t focus on anything. He knows, tomorrow in the interviews they must go to, that he’ll be stuck for words, but that’ll be okay because Jaejoong will prattle and laugh and covertly look at Yunho to make sure he’s not saying stupid things which he usually always says in Korea but doesn’t care about. But now Yunho nods and adds his own expert leader opinion and they’ll tease Changmin and Junsu. Changmin will laugh and be embarrassed, while Junsu will be steely and put out. And he… he’ll be silent in the back. Just watching.
Because Japan has changed them, and he’s not sure he likes it.