ONESHOT-Atrophy
Title: Atrophy
Chapters: 1/1
Author:Savannah (orishimeinoue )
Genre: Slice of life, Angst
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: mentions of self-harm
Band: the GazettE
Pairing: Aoi x Uruha
Disclaimer: the GazettE boys aren't my property >.>
Summary: Aoi was Uruha's true love, his whole heart, his exact opposite, his best friend. Why was this happening now, if Aoi loved him as he said he did??
Comments: I've been so busy lately, I haven't been able to write any more chapters to The Day I Met You or Metropolis (I reallyyyyyy need to write another chap for Metropolis). Even so, I wrote this. Why? Because it's been nagging at me for months now, I had to write it.
You were the dark to my light. The night to my day. The peanut butter to my jelly. We were complete opposites in almost all ways. Your hair was black, mine was a light golden brown. You wore dark clothes, and I was always bright and flamboyant.
Yes, to any onlooker we were complete opposites that shouldn't work together. But we did work, just like peanut butter and jelly. We were the best of friends, inseparable. It was as you said, "Opposites attract.". We stood together, holding hands, hugging tightly. We weren't afraid to face the world together, weren't afraid of the hateful rumors spread about us.
We were best friends, we loved each other. I can still clearly remember one time that I slept over your house.
We built a fort out of blankets, even though such things is for little kids to do, not teenagers. We slept on the floor inside the fort together, just inches apart. I remember how your voice sounded when you said loving words to me, words meant only for me to hear. I remember the way your hand felt as you caressed my cheek and threaded your fingers through my hair, the hair that you always loved to feel.
I fell asleep just inches away from you, and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I awoke to you. You, with your shiny, silky, long, black hair and eyes so dark brown that they were almost black. You were watching me as I slept, the expression on your face so tender and loving. I loved that expression the most, even though I loved all of your expressions.
I loved you so much, for everything you were. I loved your smile, your laugh, your silky hair, your eyes, your smell, everything. I truly loved you with all my heart, with a depth that shouldn't be possible. I even loved all of your flaws.
You were so good looking and such a good person, I couldn't believe that you couldn't see it in yourself. I think that I loved you all along, I just couldn't place those feelings at first.
Two years ago, I thought that my feelings for you were sort of like a parent's to their child. last year, I realized the truth of my feelings: I loved you. At that time, I couldn't believe how stupid and blind I had been to myself for the whole past year.
You never knew of my feelings though, or maybe you did. Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. I thought that we would always be together, always be best friends. I cherished every moment spent with you and couldn't believe that someone as wonderful as you would want to be near me, even if we were fated to forever be just friends. I was okay with that, as long as I could be near your side, seeing you smile and laugh.
But it was all too good to be true, as I had always thought. We were not fated to be together after all. You started lying to me, hiding things from me. You started hanging out with the "bad" kids, you were making horrible decisions.
You would go out with these kids, you would go to parties, drink, and try drugs. You never told me anything, you just acted innocent like we were still best friends, all the while keeping me in the dark.
The only reason I know about this is because I overhead someone saying something to you about it. I was right there next to you, but you thought I didn't hear. It hurt me so much to hear those words coming from someone else's mouth.
It hurt that you couldn't tell me. I trusted you with my my whole self, my heart and my soul. Even so, you didn't trust me at all. Did you think that I wouldn't accept you? Sure, I was surprised when I heard it, but my feelings for you were set in stone, unchangeable.
Slowly but surely, we drifted apart. You hated yourself and life, so you cut yourself. I tried to help you, but you just wouldn't listen to my words. You wouldn't lean on me at all, wouldn't share your pain with me. You have no idea how much it hurt me every time I saw those cuts on your arm. It hurt me that I couldn't help you.
I hated every person that dared to hurt you in any way, but I never resented you, who had hurt me the most, not even for a second. Your sadness and lack of trust slowly ate away at the optimistic person that I once was. Soon all the pain became too much to bear, I began cutting myself too. All alone in the darkness of my room at night, I cried silently as my heart screamed and I cut myself.
No one knew of my pain, but cutting helped lessen it. But unlike you, I was able to overcome my weakness. I saw how much it hurt my other loved ones, so I stopped cutting.
Because of me, Reita, my second best friend, started cutting himself. When my mom found out about my cutting, she cried. Seeing her look of anguish as the tears streamed down her face broke my heart. My weakness hurt others, people that I cared for deeply, and I couldn't forgive myself for that.
I vowed never to intentionally hurt myself again, and never to make my mom cry again. But you wouldn't see how much you hurt me, you didn't care enough to.
Summer came and you never talked to me anymore. That was the worst summer of my life. Still, I couldn't resent you.
A new school year started, we had no classes together. I did see you in the hallways, though. You would hug me and tell me how much you missed me, and promise to talk to me later. The same thing every day, and yet you never did talk to me later.
You got a new best friend, Kai. I hated him with all my heart, I was so jealous of him. Why had you abandoned me in favor of a person who would talk outright about doing drugs and sucking guys' dicks with no shame at all during class?
Maybe you just couldn't stand it when your parents told you to be more like me, a high honors student that would never do drugs. If so, you just had to tell me. If it meant being with you, I would fail all my classes and become like Kai in a heartbeat. That's how much I loved you. But I should've known from the beginning, we were never meant to be. We were just too different.
Soon, you moved to a different town. Our goodbye was meaningless. You hugged me tightly for a long while, telling me how much you would miss me and how much you loved me.
You meant non of what you said. I had heard both "I miss you so much" and "I love you" so many times from you. I knew you didn't mean it, just as you didn't mean it when you said "Sorry, I'm so sorry" to me countless times over the last year.
Our bond was cut, there's no fixing it now. We're done, we'll never be friends as we once were. It hurts, but it'll lessen over time. But I'm sure that I'll always love you, my dear Aoi. I'll never forget you, for all of my life.
{END}
A/N: Yeah, thus sux, I know. I kinda feel.....uncomfortable about posting this, I've never written something so personal in my life. This is also my first angst...It is horrible, but I hope you enjoy it anyway :)
Chapters: 1/1
Author:Savannah (orishimeinoue )
Genre: Slice of life, Angst
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: mentions of self-harm
Band: the GazettE
Pairing: Aoi x Uruha
Disclaimer: the GazettE boys aren't my property >.>
Summary: Aoi was Uruha's true love, his whole heart, his exact opposite, his best friend. Why was this happening now, if Aoi loved him as he said he did??
Comments: I've been so busy lately, I haven't been able to write any more chapters to The Day I Met You or Metropolis (I reallyyyyyy need to write another chap for Metropolis). Even so, I wrote this. Why? Because it's been nagging at me for months now, I had to write it.
You were the dark to my light. The night to my day. The peanut butter to my jelly. We were complete opposites in almost all ways. Your hair was black, mine was a light golden brown. You wore dark clothes, and I was always bright and flamboyant.
Yes, to any onlooker we were complete opposites that shouldn't work together. But we did work, just like peanut butter and jelly. We were the best of friends, inseparable. It was as you said, "Opposites attract.". We stood together, holding hands, hugging tightly. We weren't afraid to face the world together, weren't afraid of the hateful rumors spread about us.
We were best friends, we loved each other. I can still clearly remember one time that I slept over your house.
We built a fort out of blankets, even though such things is for little kids to do, not teenagers. We slept on the floor inside the fort together, just inches apart. I remember how your voice sounded when you said loving words to me, words meant only for me to hear. I remember the way your hand felt as you caressed my cheek and threaded your fingers through my hair, the hair that you always loved to feel.
I fell asleep just inches away from you, and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I awoke to you. You, with your shiny, silky, long, black hair and eyes so dark brown that they were almost black. You were watching me as I slept, the expression on your face so tender and loving. I loved that expression the most, even though I loved all of your expressions.
I loved you so much, for everything you were. I loved your smile, your laugh, your silky hair, your eyes, your smell, everything. I truly loved you with all my heart, with a depth that shouldn't be possible. I even loved all of your flaws.
You were so good looking and such a good person, I couldn't believe that you couldn't see it in yourself. I think that I loved you all along, I just couldn't place those feelings at first.
Two years ago, I thought that my feelings for you were sort of like a parent's to their child. last year, I realized the truth of my feelings: I loved you. At that time, I couldn't believe how stupid and blind I had been to myself for the whole past year.
You never knew of my feelings though, or maybe you did. Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. I thought that we would always be together, always be best friends. I cherished every moment spent with you and couldn't believe that someone as wonderful as you would want to be near me, even if we were fated to forever be just friends. I was okay with that, as long as I could be near your side, seeing you smile and laugh.
But it was all too good to be true, as I had always thought. We were not fated to be together after all. You started lying to me, hiding things from me. You started hanging out with the "bad" kids, you were making horrible decisions.
You would go out with these kids, you would go to parties, drink, and try drugs. You never told me anything, you just acted innocent like we were still best friends, all the while keeping me in the dark.
The only reason I know about this is because I overhead someone saying something to you about it. I was right there next to you, but you thought I didn't hear. It hurt me so much to hear those words coming from someone else's mouth.
It hurt that you couldn't tell me. I trusted you with my my whole self, my heart and my soul. Even so, you didn't trust me at all. Did you think that I wouldn't accept you? Sure, I was surprised when I heard it, but my feelings for you were set in stone, unchangeable.
Slowly but surely, we drifted apart. You hated yourself and life, so you cut yourself. I tried to help you, but you just wouldn't listen to my words. You wouldn't lean on me at all, wouldn't share your pain with me. You have no idea how much it hurt me every time I saw those cuts on your arm. It hurt me that I couldn't help you.
I hated every person that dared to hurt you in any way, but I never resented you, who had hurt me the most, not even for a second. Your sadness and lack of trust slowly ate away at the optimistic person that I once was. Soon all the pain became too much to bear, I began cutting myself too. All alone in the darkness of my room at night, I cried silently as my heart screamed and I cut myself.
No one knew of my pain, but cutting helped lessen it. But unlike you, I was able to overcome my weakness. I saw how much it hurt my other loved ones, so I stopped cutting.
Because of me, Reita, my second best friend, started cutting himself. When my mom found out about my cutting, she cried. Seeing her look of anguish as the tears streamed down her face broke my heart. My weakness hurt others, people that I cared for deeply, and I couldn't forgive myself for that.
I vowed never to intentionally hurt myself again, and never to make my mom cry again. But you wouldn't see how much you hurt me, you didn't care enough to.
Summer came and you never talked to me anymore. That was the worst summer of my life. Still, I couldn't resent you.
A new school year started, we had no classes together. I did see you in the hallways, though. You would hug me and tell me how much you missed me, and promise to talk to me later. The same thing every day, and yet you never did talk to me later.
You got a new best friend, Kai. I hated him with all my heart, I was so jealous of him. Why had you abandoned me in favor of a person who would talk outright about doing drugs and sucking guys' dicks with no shame at all during class?
Maybe you just couldn't stand it when your parents told you to be more like me, a high honors student that would never do drugs. If so, you just had to tell me. If it meant being with you, I would fail all my classes and become like Kai in a heartbeat. That's how much I loved you. But I should've known from the beginning, we were never meant to be. We were just too different.
Soon, you moved to a different town. Our goodbye was meaningless. You hugged me tightly for a long while, telling me how much you would miss me and how much you loved me.
You meant non of what you said. I had heard both "I miss you so much" and "I love you" so many times from you. I knew you didn't mean it, just as you didn't mean it when you said "Sorry, I'm so sorry" to me countless times over the last year.
Our bond was cut, there's no fixing it now. We're done, we'll never be friends as we once were. It hurts, but it'll lessen over time. But I'm sure that I'll always love you, my dear Aoi. I'll never forget you, for all of my life.
{END}
A/N: Yeah, thus sux, I know. I kinda feel.....uncomfortable about posting this, I've never written something so personal in my life. This is also my first angst...It is horrible, but I hope you enjoy it anyway :)